Resolve ?

I have received so many Youtube's and essays now about how the year is coming to a close.... I feel all like I should say something.
What do I have to say?
Life is never what you expect it is.
You can plan and plan....but the most that we can hope for is to react well to what comes.
And to enjoy the bliss when we are in it.
That sounds all 'Oprah' doesn't it?
Can I tell you how relieved I was that Oprah had also gained weight this year?
That is just the truth.
As I watched me pants not fit this year, after years of struggle I just felt ....AHHHHHH!
Can you feel...AHHHH?
I say yes.
But if that rich, trained, chef-ed Oprah has a problem keeping the pounds off it makes me feel a bit better.
It makes the fucking trip back to the treadmill not so bad.
Still bad....but just a little less.
I cannot believe that I turned 40....what the eff.
George commented last night about how he wishes that we could get a dog that would live for 40 years...because then George would most certainly be dead by the end of that time.... Marley and Me made us both a bit morose....and I thought...
'oh my god.... is my life half over?....and I still haven't figured out how to stay skinny....earn a million dollars....play that fucking guitar I bought 5 years ago....and, oh so many other things?!'
Is it true?
Ug...that Marley and Me movie was a horrible idea.....for us that is....or was it?
This year we lost our beloved companion of 15 years .... the dear sweet Otto.....the big stink ....god... he was bad...he was so badly trained...he peed everywhere... he made me laugh... yell... cry... sleep better... curse his name....and pray for him to come to me in my dreams....
Oddly enough.....that movie with Owen Wilson and that beautiful dog was a freeing thing for George and I....we cried.....snot cried....and then we came home and cried some more.
And then I turned over to an excited face that said
'Let's go to the Humane Society...'
And I knew it was a good idea.
We went.
Here's a question.
Why do so many skids get pit bulls and then realize that there skid-asses can't take care of that dog and take them to the pound?
There were at least 20 of them.
But there was a great dog named Lucky....who we spent a little time with....not the dog for us...I was hopeful but them I sneezed and my face broke out....I am not allergic to all....but I am to Lucky.
Anyhow... we are looking.....just like when baby-people say .....we are trying.
That is amazing.
I am happy about my new/old home for the Party.... the Buddies in Bad Times....when I was doing Sky Gilbert's 'Happy' there....
by the way...
'Happy' was named one of the worst productions of the 2008 in the Star....eff it... I had a great time in it... I loved it and had a fab time with all the talented people in it.... I feel all avant garde....
I hope that is spelled right.... with the spumante I drank last night I lost a couple brain cells.....where was I?
I am such a media whore that I am proud to be named in a paper at all!!!
When I was at Buddies this year I felt so loved!
I thought..'Why is my show not here?'
And then it was....they have been so very wonderful to me....and I love them all!
Don't forget I have a show...
Sharron's Surprise Party...
On Jan 19th @ 8:00pm.
Come on down!!
I love that George is home from all of his travels... I saw he Christmas Carol up at the Grand....
He was all 'Jacob Marley'.....Marley.... coincidence... I think not... anyhow ... he was all dreamy!!
I hope that we get to enjoy this home time....
Story to follow.
What else happened this year?
OH ya!!
I hosted the effing Doras at the effing Winter Garden... one of the funnest nights of my life....thank god... I am sure it coulda gone either way... but I had a fabulous time!!!
I was nominated and... lost... sad... but fuck it... it became a great story... so.. worth it!
I lived in the very tiny... teeny... small town of Niagara On The Lake... sometimes they call it NOTL...hmm.... had to go to the Staples in St. Catharines to get a photocopy....
really.
And was haunted by a ghost there.
really.
I also figured out a couple things this year... some I already knew and some I was reminded of.
I have wonderful friends and supporters.
Man... do I ever...and I thank them all....you rock.
And they have been reminded me that I have to fight for what I believe in and...and what my story is... and what is right....
Also...sadly....or happily...depends on how ya look at it... I learned that there are people who we spend too much of our lives trying to help or support who do not reciprocate... and I hope that I find the power and the forward vision to identify them before I invest too much of my energy in them.
But...
What a great party we had last night in our cool loft!!!
I love the parties... and we invited a bunch of peeps very late in the game...I had grand plans of having huge dance party... but them christmas came and we both go the effin Norwalk....got that was arwful....I threw up things that were in my colon.
Anyhow... we had a lovely sit down party... with gaming....not swinging... put it back in your pants sweeties....Geoff and Michael, Michael and Darcy... so recently married this year... got into a whole...'He still gets it..' conversation... laughed.. I peed... and Ari... he came before he went with the younguns to a sledding and dancing party... it sounds all Victorian....Randy... sans his husband Steve...as Steve is in Winterpeg....Randy was a very good sport and played Celebrity...and even though Lytle said
'Who the fuck is Geraldine Page? A Trip to Bountiful is a horrible movie!'
...Randy didn't hold it against him...he just paled... and when Randy got up to describe Gary Cooper...his description was...'Patricia Neal said that he was very well hung!'...got LOVE YOU RANDY!!!
By the way Steve... he is cleaning the house right now!!
Diana and Kevin....Diana in he pretty dress all ready to party... we never get to see them enough... as a host gift she gave us wrapped packages of gastromonic delights...Homemade offing Marshmellows...REALLY!!!
And late arrival John... who festooned my hair with a tiara of glowsticks....
Oh what a night!!
And George drank his first beer in two months... he was all giggly.
I am very excited that it is a whole new year!!!
2009... is gonna be the best year ever... I am gonna take all that experience from 2008 and stick it in the toaster for 2009 and make a whole new kinda......english muffin?
Mmm... I am hungry... George, please go make me breakfast.....and turn up the heat....he is always trying to freeze me to death... men are furnaces...
I stand resolved.

Sharron's Surprise Party??? WHAT!

I know y'all!
If you have been to show or read the blogs or know me at all....you know how hard I have worked on my cabaret for the last 4 years ( actually since 1994.... oh I am so dramatic...say dramatic with a french accent ...it sounds better).... starting at Statlers in Jan 2005 to Buddies to the Fabu Gladstone then back to Buddies again! And, I have to say, it is the last 6 months at Buddies that has been the most rewarding and exciting!!!
I have been so happy with all the places I have worked but Buddies is my fave... Even my Mom, who came to the show on December 13th could not believe how well everyone treated me so well...'Sharron, they really like you here.." she said with disbelief... okay...not disbelief... but doesn't that make the story better??
Mom also laughed at every single 'fuck and 'shit' that I screamed out.
Buddies seems to be the warmest and bestest fit!!
I love it!
Anyhow... the reaction to the last shows ... (and last night in Peterborough I had an awesome crowd, with about 14 peeps from Toronto!!! I love that!) has been so overwhelming that I talked with... myself... and my sweet Georgie...and my good peeps at Buddies... and decided that I would do one more Party before Chicago....
A: to get ready for maybe doing Sharron's Party in Chicago....
B: for the people who asked for a show on the dark night ( the night off for all of the theatre artists in Toronto)
C: Because Thom Allison is coming home!!! Thanks to GOD!!!
D: to show you the new artist I found, Andrew Broderick
E: Because it would be fun!!!
That is enough reasons right?
I am a little jazzed about it!
So, firstly... let us have January be awesome and sparkly... not sucky!

Sharron's Surprise Party
Because aren't the best things in life unexpected?
Monday January 19th
8:00pm
Tallulah's Cabaret @ Buddies in Bad Times Theatre!
Guests Andrew Broderick
and Thom Allison
$20
Call 416 975 8555

Now, check this out!!!
It is my surprise guest from the Christmas Party....you will freak... he is 13 years old!
Who knows what the surprise will be next time?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OQCDPS6sCkU

Christmas Trees, Owly people in the front row...and crotchless panties!

So, it is all over but the trip to Peterborough on Thursday to Sharron's Christmas Party at Showplace there.... I did it there last year and had a blast, by the by, and I look forward to shoving Wayne Gwillim in a rental car and hopefully not getting stuck in a snowstorm!
We wanna pass on some holiday cheer, y'all!
The shows on the weekend went very well!
Friday is always a bit more quiet but they were smiling and laughing....they enjoyed themselves in an
'I worked all week and want to be quiet and entertained'
kinda way.
My sweet Ian Simpson, my dear friend from college, was so sweet and lovely that everyone kept asking me if that was the way he really was.... he sang a Carpenters medley and a Christmas song and a duet with me... that we sang together in 1986.... I mean really.
Teresa Pavlinek.... what a panic!!!
That woman is funny and ever so creative... and a mover and shaker... I feel very inspired by her.
The audience was in stitches.... as was I!
And I brought up a young man named Shawn Myers to sing a duet with me as my encore... I did a show with him at Randolf on Sunday and when we rehearsed I thought that he was just great!! Oh ya... he is 13!!!
He killed it!
And then the next night..... Sarah Strange... most excellent... she has awesome material and I think she is just a star in the waiting.
Then opera diva Jean Stilwell did her Apathetic Man song with her dear friend Brad as the man... he went into the audience and wrote his phone number on a mans hand with a sharpie... awesome... and she did a fantastic ballad... oh my... what a woman and all accompanied by the fantastic Ms. Patti Loach.
And Shawn came back and killed for a second night!
I loved the shows... the audiences were excellent.. the Saturday night show was just so wild and crazy and the audience was caught up in the flavour of the 'Party'... they were very sassy.. and then when we all sang ' White Christmas' together... I cried.
Ah.... I love that show....
Some lovely blogger named 'Vickie' was at the show and had these great things to say.....

http://yepimawriter-theblog.blogspot.com/

Now, some people wouldn't point it out when there are nice things written about them... I just think... Why the eff not!!!
And here is a little songologue I wrote called 'Where is Christmas?' arranged and played by Wayne Gwillim..
Sorry.... you have to copy and paste below... I can't make it link otherwise... but it will be worth it... I think!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTn-JSRUSE0

and by the by....
Last night when George came home from London... he brought me this.....
HE IS THE BEST!
It made me cry.... I am very Christmas-sensitive right now....
So, I wish you a merry week and a half before Christmas....

TONIGHT!!!

Oh ... he is so handsome....
Wanna know this saddest thing?
George can't come to...

Sharron's Christmas Party tonight,December the 12th or tomorrow, December the 13th.
@ Buddies in Bad Times
Tallulah's Cabaret
12 Alexander Street
Doors @ 7:30pm and Show @ 8:00pm

He is working into London.
Not England.
Ontario.
Sigh.
BUT I am still excited about the show.... it really is one of my faves.
Now, someone wrote me and asked about all the videos....
Where am I getting them, do I tape all of my shows... Will I put the whole shows on one day?
All good questions all......
I have two young dear friends who have been showing up at all my shows and they tape them.... the fabulous Ari Weinberg and the glamorous Sara Farb...they spend the whole time behind the camera...and now they have lifetime free tickets to Sharron's Party... you read it here!
And yes, I do tape all of my shows... since they are all new.. sometimes they contain an old fave...but they are mostly all new...and I shift the ideas around...I like to have a record so I can see what worked and what doesn't... I also find that putting the stuff on YOUTUBE is spreading the word about what I wanna do!
And I also do some things live that go well and weren't planned and I want to remember what it is... the whole show is a blur people!
And I like to put some things up... but I don't want to put the whole shows... because what brings you to the show if you know you can see it all youtube?
Although.... it is always better if you are a part of the party!
It is a happening...
Here is the last new video fo the the year... you guys were asking for a Broadway tune.... so here it is!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqvH-tQBijw

And here it is.... my last show for a while!
I am excited!
I hope that you can come!

Enough of shitty people.... LET US DO CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Oh, look at that!
That is from my very first 'Sharron's Christmas Party' at Buddies all those years ago....
And here I am three years later.... on the fourth 'Holiday' installment...
Let me count my Christmas Party Blessings.....
I have done over 30 ....holy shit... yes, 30 Parties....and sung numerous songs.... I have had about 75 guests... worn about 75 outfits....with full accessories ... I have had about 4000 Party Peeps in the audience...in my ever changing and always excited audience.....sung about 30 Sing a Longs.... sung about 90 different songs and written over 30 Songologues and told one million jokes... of which 500 000 landed... which is not a crappy ratio!
Since I started my whole life has changed for good and for.... how shall I best put it... the challenging.....I have come up against many walls but I seem to put on my climbing gear and claw myself over one bloody nailed hand at a time!!
But I have been blessed with many, many supporters and helpers and people who love the show!
People who show up and just want to be a part of it all.
People who email and send kind words of encouragement and excitement!
I love the Party.
I have dreamt of it my whole adult life.
After all the work... the postering and the calling and the emailing and the facebooking and the going to peoples shows to see the new faces (which is a pleasure) and the rewriting and the
'I am not sure if this is funny' moments......
I get to walk onto stage and look at the most fantastic view.
Wow.
I want to take this Oscar moment to thank some of the people who have helped me make it this far.

Grant Ramsay....he is a friend, supporter, kindred spirit and one of the best publicists around!
Pam Chorley's Fashion Crimes... what can I say to Pam, Crystal, Kat and all the ladies there...I feel like a million bucks EVERYTIME!!! I would be wearing a burlap sack and a popcorn string necklace without you.
Buddies in Bad Times... Patricia, Erika, Jim, David, Shawn, Chris, Katherine, Charissa, Crystal, Glen, Patricia, Aiden, Adrian and those who have just slipped my mind..... I LOVE IT THERE!!!
It is like coming home.
Steve Thomas, Reza Jacobs, Wayne Gwillim, Ryan DeSouza, Jim Clayton and Zachary Florence ....the fabulous arrangers and accompanists who I have had the pleasure of working with over the last year and a bit.... thanks for being so damned creative and supportive.
Jim Russell... I could NOT have made it through without you, sir!
Thom Allison.... For many reasons...he is one of the hugest talents... one of my dearest friends...I don't know what this world would be like without him... probably a very boring and less shiny place.
To all my guests.. I could name them all but that fucking scares the shit outta me....thanks for coming and doing all the work to be a part of the show...and not being too scared when I tell you I will be interviewing you!
George Masswohl....a man who makes my life better, easier and happier and sometimes more challenging... as I watch him live his life as such a good and dear man... a man who stands up for what he believes in and always roots for the underdog, I am inspired to be a better person.
And having said that... for letting me tell stories about him for 16 years.
I love him.
And to you.... Blog readers, Youtube watchers, email getters, Party people.. thanks for coming, opening, reading and all that you do to help out!
I am gonna be off to do some Musical Theatre for a while... but who knows what will happen between now and the next Party...
When will that be?
Who knows.... but I will be writing and thinking and hearing new/old songs and coming up with sarcastic comments everyday.
Oh, why is everything so... the end of all things... at Christmas???
So, I hope that you can come out to this weekends Christmas Show ( December 12th and December 13th @ Buddies in Bad Times Call 416 975 8555 for tickets) ... it will be a panic.... there are gonna be people you can't believe in the audience... people who you CAN BELIEVE onstage...and laughter...we will laugh... we will sing... we will pee!
Here is a little thing...
It is one of my favourite songs ever that I have done...with and arrangement and accompaniment by the fantastic Steve Thomas....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7fNhrwIBjM

Merry Christmas Babies!!!

Can You Believe it?

I don't use this blog very much for other than

A: Publicizing my show....
B: Chatting about pop culture
C: Taking people on trips

and other random but usually light hearted, and sometimes, potty-mouthed stories.
But every once in a while something happens that gets my ire so up in the air that I just cannot keep it to myself.

I went to my husband, George's, agency party last night.... it has long been one of his favourite things to do every year. He thinks, and I concur, that his agent puts on a fabulous spread and creates a fantastic atmosphere to say hello to old friends and tell a new person, maybe how much you enjoy their work....and maybe network a bit.
But mostly, have a laugh.
After walking around the room for a long time, I had the pleasure of sitting and talking with two young and talented women about their work and what not.....when a man... who I didn't really recognize.... slid into the booth beside me. He interrupted my conversation in a very rude and loud manner, insisted that I knew him... which I was trying to figure out if I did or not.... he clearly had had too much to drink .....he was so close to me that I could smell the booze on him....and he aggressively tried to insinuate himself into our private moment... the more I tried to put him at ease, the more weird and pushy he got ... and then I looked across the room to see two men....who I also didn't know....laughing and pointing.... they were clearly his friends... when I finally decided that I might be the butt of a joke I took my young friend and we left.
I asked around and found out who all of these men were... one man, no one knew but one of the 'laughers' was the brother of the drunk guy.... the drunk guy that wasn't even invited to the party.
My husband took offense to the whole story when I told him... and even though he is clear that I can and will take care of myself...... he, very gallantly, went to have a conversation with this man.
George has been a bouncer at clubs in the past and has a great deal of knowledge about how to talk someone down...and as George was the designated driver for the night, he hadn't had a drink.
When George came back to me a while later... he said that the man had said he had done nothing wrong.... and wouldn't come over and apologize to me because it would emasculate him.
I just saw red.
I just couldn't believe in this day and age... in a place that held tons of 'forward thinking' artists... it was okay for him to come over and strong arm himself into a conversation, while his buddies laughed in the corner, like something out of a fraternity movie. And that I was just probably being a bitch for sticking up for myself.
Really.
I handed George my feather purse and stalked around the room in my high heel shoes trying to find this guy.
When I finally did find him...the nameless drunk guy....he walked up to me with a cocky look on his face saying I over reacted... and I told him basically what I just wrote ... and he began to apologize and admit to all of the things he just spent the last 20 minutes denying to George....I thanked him for his apology and returned to the party and began to again have a great time....
Sidebar: The one 'laugher' that I didn't know came to me and told me that he had only met 'drunk guy' an hour ago, and didn't want to be lumped in with him.
This story is long.... but if you care.... persevere... it gets better....
I was standing with two fabulous people I haven't seen forever and chatting with them about stuff when I looked about 3 feet away. There, standing in a group, were 4 guys.... 'drunk guy', 'drunk guys brother', one guy I don't want to name and another I didn't know..... and I heard drunk guy say some disparaging remarks and then my husbands name... and then all of them laughed.... I just walked through the group and right into his face ....drunk guys' face... and asked him what his problem was... was it wrong for a husband to defend a wife... or more importantly... a man to defend a woman?
He , 'drunk guy', just kept saying how it was a funny story that they were all appreciating.
I said I didn't think it was very funny.
And all those guys just stood there and said nothing.
Wow.
Maybe I should have taken more into account his apparent drunkenness, but in the moment I just COULD NOT believe this was going on .... and that 'drunk guys' brother, who was responsible for bringing him to the party, didn't get him the eff out of there.
But I went to George.
Was I wrong?
Was I right?
Either way I went.
There were heated words....of which I was a part...and there was confusion and heightened tension all around... I was repeatedly called 'his wife', as in 'George, you might wanna get your wife outta here'.....I COULD NOT BELIEVE THIS WAS HAPPENING.... and the thing I am most unhappy about is that I felt guilty about telling my husband....no actually, I felt a bit ashamed.
How fucked is that?
I did nothing but sit and have a conversation and when I was behaved inappropriately towards, I defended myself.
And my husband stuck up for me.
After a long tense conversation that almost turned into something more...drunk guy wouldn't leave...even though his brother assured us he would...we decided to leave.
Again.... I left and not drunk guy.
Doesn't that seem just so wrong.
And... here is the kicker... as we stood outside having a conversation with one of my husbands childhood friends....'drunk guy' and 'drunk guys' brother' come out the door....I am thinking....MAN, PLEASE, LET THIS BE OVER....so we ignore them... and as 'drunk guy' gets into the cab, before he slams the door...he screams out....are you ready for it??
"George Masweellll ( spoken incorrectly, of course) is a FAGGOT!"
And then I chased the cab down the street in my high heels and fun-fur jacket clutching my feather purse.
I am not ashamed of my need to speak out.
I can't let people treat me badly and just go... they will treat someone worse next time.
And I will not be bullied... and all of these thing are the earmarks of a bigoted bully.
So, if you were there... that is what happened.
If you were not... CAN YOU BELIEVE that someone would scream that out anywhere.... let alone in or near a group of artists, where people are proud of celebrating who they are, whatever they maybe.
I am angry.
Drunk guy probably feels just fine and I feel angry, upset and tired.
He wrecked my night.
My husbands' night.
Maybe other peoples' nights, as well.
Some people maybe will say that I should have just let it go... but I believe that when you let someone bully you and don't address it ... they feel that they can do it again and again.
They think that it is alright to be a bigot.
No.

Xtra Article!

I had a lovely lunch with David Bateman @ a great restaurant called 'Wish' off of Yonge Street....
We talked for a very long time... you guys know how I can talk...
And he wrote this lovely article!!!
Thanks David Bateman!

'Make me fabulous!'

Cabaret / Sharron the love of musical theatre

David Bateman / Toronto / Thursday, December 04, 2008

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After attending a few of the musical parties Sharron Matthews has thrown over the years it is difficult to know how to respond when she looks at you during an interview and says, "Make me sound fabulous and not like an asshole." It's this kind of comic humility and mild self-effacement, with a dash of exaggerated emotion, that makes her the kind of performer who can only sound but fabulous.

Trained at Sheridan College in the musical theatre program and currently completing a semester as pop music instructor, Matthews began her cabaret, Sharron's Party, at the Gladstone Hotel two years ago. Last June she moved to Buddies in Bad Times where she held her first Sharron's Big Gay Party. On Fri, Dec 12 and 13 her Tallulah's Christmas show promises to titillate and thrill with a string of naughty carols and fabulous guests that include Sarah Strange, Teresa Pavlineck, Ian Simpson and opera luminary Jean Stilwell.

Last June's Big Gay Party really didn't look much different from any of the other shows that are consistently "festive, fabulous and naughty." Matthews has cultivated a powerful fondness for the gays over the span of her 20-year career. She considers her strongest relationships ("after my husband" of course) to be with gay men and has deep feelings about the community that just seems "to get the humour, the music" that she loves to showcase.

Expect amazing singing. A fall show at Tallulah's had Brent Carver singing "Ten Cents a Dance" and an astoundingly beautiful theatrical rendition of Leonard Cohen's "Take This Waltz." Matthews interviews her guests onstage and manages to get juicy tidbits from one and all. While interviewing Carver she recalled her stint as Dora MC last year and described how he leapt from his seat and began to dance along as she entertained and MCed. Nominated for her performance as the wicked witch in The Wizard of Oz she came onstage after losing out to another performer and quipped, "Anyone interested in buying a used witch's costume?"

She handpicks her cabaret guests: Some are unknown burgeoning singers ripe from an audience participation event; some are the greats of Canadian theatre. Jeigh Madjus, a promising newcomer to the musical theatre scene, with a history of cruise ship entertainment, did a wonderful impromptu rendition of "Do Re Mi" one night and became a featured performer a few weeks later when he wowed guests with complex pop and theatrical numbers.

On more than one occasion shows have included some of the contestants from the reality show How Do You Solve a Problem like Maria? Matthews speaks candidly of her love/hate relationship with the reality program as well as the recent The Sound of Music production itself. "Captain von Trapp and Maria reminded me of someone and I couldn't figure it out," she says. "And then it hit me! Céline Dion and René Angélil... Dirty." She also did her own campy version of "Do Re Mi."

Matthews feels she celebrates her "disgruntledness" with the Broadway megahit. "We all think we could do better." The Maria contest winner and current star, Elicia MacKenzie, won Matthews over with her reality show rendition of "You Needed Me" for its honesty of expression — something that lends itself well to the role of the ingenuous alpine nun.

Matthews is unafraid to critique superstars far and wide with a brash, loving intensity that is never cruel but always comically scathing. Meryl Streep's bubbly yet bewildering performance in Mamma Mia was treated hilariously in a recent show. "She can come to my show and tell me I stink," says Matthews. "At least I can say Meryl Streep came to my show."

During one performance her signature "song-alogue" featured autobiographical memories of a childhood attachment to Michael Jackson. Her medley of Jackson favourites from "Thriller" to "Billie Jean" showcased her ability to mix witty self-written monologues with interpretations of popular songs, turning them into layered anthem-like tributes to some of the most memorable moments in 20th-century music history. With the support of pianist Wayne Gwillam (recently at the Shaw Festival and about to join The Sound of Music in 2009) and gorgeous gowns from Fashion Crimes, she is a delicious diva to be reckoned with.

Don't miss her upcoming Christmas party. If you're feeling weary and in need of a little sweetness and bitchiness mixed into one fabulous Yuletide spectacle then this is the seasonal show for you.

Sharron's Christmas Party.
$20. 8pm. Fri, Dec 12 & 13.
Tallulah's Cabaret.
12 Alexander St.
(416) 975-8555.

Well, I guess that trip to Scotland was lucky.....

There we are.....in Stirling Castle... in our thrones...in Scotland....which worked out well... since it was announced today that George will be playing Rob Roy in David Warracks' new musical 'Rob Roy' that is touring to Chicago and then back here to Toronto!
And I will also be in it...yes I will... I am making a appearance on the musical theatre stage!
Here is the article......

Rob Roy's legend lives on with new musical

JEFF VINNICK FOR THE TORONTO STAR

Len Cariou, shown here near is Vancouver home Sept. 30, 2008, is pegged to direct 'Rob Roy,' slated to play the Elgin Theatre in March 2009.

Nov 26, 2008 04:30 AM

Richard Ouzounian

theatre critic

One of the greatest heroes of Scottish history is the subject of a new Canadian musical opening this winter in a major production scheduled to play Chicago and Toronto.

Rob Roy, with book, music and lyrics by David Warrack, will open at the Elgin Theatre on March 23, following a six-week run at Chicago's Arie Crown Theatre, beginning Feb. 3.

The show will be directed by Tony Award-winning actor Len Cariou. The Canadian actor was last seen locally as the embattled ex-president in Frost/Nixon for the Canadian Stage Company.

Robert Roy MacGregor was a famous outlaw who fought against English tyrrany and became an almost mythical figure to the people of Scotland before his death in 1734.

He was immortalized by Sir Walter Scott in his 1817 novel and has been the subject of numerous plays, operas and films, the most recent being the 1995 movie starring Liam Neeson.

Warrack's epic musical will feature a cast of 24 and an orchestra of 10, with George Masswohl in the title role.

Other prominent cast members include Torontonians David Dunbar, Sharron Matthews, Mark Harapiak, Elizabeth Beeler, Cory O'Brien, Ian Deakin and Stephanie Roth.

The project has been in gestation for some time; Warrack took an earlier, smaller one-act version to the Edinburgh Festival in 2006 where it received favourable reviews.

"The world is always ready to hear the story of a heroic individual," Warrack told the Star, "and the troubled times we're in right now call for it more than ever."

A CD of the score as well as a songbook were released in 2007.

Eight of the original cast members featured on the recording are continuing in this production.

Rob Roy is being produced by Prydwyn Productions with Bernie Abrams and Hugh Cameron serving as executive producers, and Mitchell Schmieding as the Chicago associate

Well, there you have it!!
It is very exciting... George played the role two years ago at the famed Edinburgh Festival to great acclaim... it has taken two years of steady, back breaking work ... with a CD and a music book produced...... to get this musical on its feet but David Warrack did it.
I applaud him.
I sat in on a couple of backers auditions and I was so enthralled by David's pitch and his heartfelt belief in his project... I think it is very exciting that such a big Canadian written musical is going to be produced in Chicago.
George was at the big press conference down in Chicago at the Arie Crown and he was surprised by the amount of reporters and newspapers who showed up.
He said it was packed.....imagine.. a press conference for a musical...Packed.... ahhh....
I will be playing Annabelle, the narrator and I will step in and out of a few different characters as I help to tell the story.
And Len Cariou... I mean really!!!
George worked with him on 'Showboat' many years ago.. and learned some choice new ....expressions... shall we say .. from him on the golf course.....
Len is a fabulous actor.. the original Sweeney Todd... and Fredrich in Night Music to name just a few things... has a long and fabulous movie and stage career and I am very excited....... and just a bit scared.... always good to be a bit scared... to work with him...
He and David have been working very hard to get this all online.
So, That means....yes my friends... with the schedule that is Rob Roy ... This Sharron's Christmas Party will be my last for a while... sigh....
So, get your tickets now for the Friday December 12th (Teresa Pavlined and Ian Simpson) or Saturday December 13th (Jean Stilwel with Patti Loach, and Sarah Strange) .....
@ Tallulah's Cabaret...Buddies in Bad Times Theatre.... because...
A: Christmas is ALWAYS my fave show!
B: Who knows when I will do it again?
So....call 416 975 8555 for tickets...the last show was packed!!!
And here is another little number from Sharron's Birthday Party...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj9QO8zpa0Y

Let us all celebrate Christmas and get into the season in style!!!
I love Christmas!!!

Broadway, Party,.....Other thoughts and bits... Rumours!!!!

Oh my people....what a couple of days....I am all tired and excited....and WINTER!!!....and then I passed out....
The Broadway Show went super good...I was very pleased and the audience was lovely...I love Buddies in Bad Times....my booker was there and it will start to be sold and sent around to theatres all over...that is my hope!!!
There are rumours people....rumours... yes... I do have another job possibly in the offing....but I am just waiting for the final word... I don't like to pop anything before its time... I don't like to jinx....but it is a good one!!!
Ah back on the stage with other people and things...it could be fancy.
So, now that Broadway is done... it is time for my annual Christmas Show... it really is one of my faves... and this year will be extra special...one of dear friends from college is coming up from San Francisco to do the show... and fabulous girl who I first met while doing 'Songs For A New World' will be coming...A fabulous TV star and producer, writer and actress... all in one... and an Opera Diva and her fantastic accompanist ..... you will pee your pants....and laugh... and feel christmas-ie... isn't it times.......I do love it when people bring their groups and alll.....
Anyhow...here is the line up.....

Friday December 12th
Ian Simpson ( Friend from San Fran...oh ya and the US Mamma Mia Tour and Shaw....and Stratford)
Teresa Pavlinek ( Star Actress, Producer and Writer)

Saturday December 13th
Sarah Strange ( Awesome Singer I knew from SFNW)
Jean Stillwell with Patti Loach ( Opera Diva ..she was just starring in War and Peace with COC... and Piano Diva)
It is gonna be effed... it will be so good...

And accompanied by one of my fave players and people
WAYNE GWILLAM!!!!!!
So....it will be ... as usual... at Buddies in Bad Times...Tallulah's Cabaret....8:00pm....call ahead to book...last time was PACKED!!!!
416 975 8555.....

And check out some of my 40th Birthday Party... Party.....
with more to come....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKIM6D35y_c

Prop 8.....

What I know about politics could fit on the back of a matchbook.....I try to read about issues....but I am all anal and virgo-ie.... If I can't see the whole picture....If I don't know the whole story....I don't feel qualified to speak on it or vote on it......I have to know EVERYTHING.....and because I find politics boring.....like REALLY boring.....I cannot be bothered...
Like....when Stephen Harper got re-elected just after he called what I do for a living...A LUXURY....I just was mad and then sad and then felt like there was no way I could effect change...I changed my vote from my NDP party to Liberal because I just didn't want that ass in power again...but then I had to weigh the option of Dion....who I have never understood or thought had any backbone..... in power....it was a hard choice.
Again... I don't know all the issues...I looked around a bit on the interweb and read a paper....
I DON'T Know!!!
But I do know that Stephen Harper helps perpetuate the stereotype of whining, entitled artists.....In the 2000's...I mean really.
But I have to say.... and I don't know why I am a tad embarrassed to admit it....
But I was all over the US race....WHO WASN'T?!
It was a fine, fine piece of theatre...that I thought I knew the end to.....BUT I didn't....they surprised me....I thought we would get all excited and then John McCain would end up in power because...that is the way it goes....but NO!!!!
Yeah!!!
I watched the debates....and I watched the net....very exciting stuff.
And when Obama got up to do his speech....I cried....ya wanna know when?
When he said 'gay and straight'....now I consider myself
'straight but not narrow''....I love the gay community... I work and do some of my shows in the gay community and I feel welcome.
When I saw something about Prop 8 on facebook the next day I had no idea what anyone was talking about....when I got curious and looked into it...I was floored...I COULD NOT believe it....but when I found out where it was...I was surprised and not.....
California has long been a republican stronghold..... all the rich people live there....the Reagans lived....and live there... that kinda says it all for me.
Now....the voted to take down the law that said yes to gay marriage .....
I just don't get it.
There are always kids who have something special on the playground that want to keep it for themselves...but when you got to class...didn't the teacher always say....'You can keep that if you have enough for everyone."
Isn't that what the supreme court justices of California were saying when they passed a law for gay marriage?
The people in charge were saying ' If some can have it....yet some are not allowed it... that is not fair..'
They were changing the laws to make it fair.
And then some people decided that they wanted to keep love, happiness, partnership for themselves.
'You can't have it.'
Why.
Why ?
Who does it hurt?
The church?
God is love.
He made people in his image.
He is one figure...
Maybe God is Bi.
He would want his people to be married.
The world changes....and we must change with it.
I just don't understand why people have to keep things that are beautiful....that should be shared to themselves.
It is selfish and old timey.......and not very christian, I must say.
STEP INTO THE PRESENT, CALIFORNIA!

Do you think.......

Okay...so one of my guilty pleasures.....like REALLY Guilty???
The View.... I tape it.....oh I guess ...PVR it everyday.....I have one thing to ask you guilty pleasure brothers and sisters....
Do you think Joy Behar and Elisabeth (HATE HER) Hasselback have been acting unusually mean and then pretend nice to each other...if you watch... and I know you do....Joy cannot even talk to Elisabeth really.... she doesn't even look down to that end of the table.....
And Sherry Shepard..... fuck... don't get me started....
Thank god for Whoopi....
Just a thought.....
Scroll down for the link to the Trailer for
SHARRON'S BIG BROADWAY SHOW!!!
It is below on the next post....
bye y'all!

Sharron's Big Broadway Show!

So, my loves....
I am doing a NEW....I said....NEW show that I wrote for one night at Buddies....could not be more excited or crapping y shorts more!
I am tired of telling about it....trying to describe it in words....
SO....
Being the Queen of all Internett Media....
I made a....
TRAILER!!!!
Check this out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgajqfdmCXU

And the show is
November 18th.....TUESDAY .... @ 8:00pm at Buddies in Bad Times

Call 416 975 8555 for TICKETS!!!

Webshow 14 Part Two...Brent, Scotland....Carrots!

So, You guys.... I rambled.....and ate carrots....and posted videos of Scotland....and alll......and it didn't fit on here!!!
So go here on Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8otHjOczfgk

I hope that you enjoy!
And if you do.... subscribe to my videos....so you never miss ONE!!!!
More later,
Shar

Bumper for the upcoming shows....and then....

You have waited and written ..... and here it is ....
But first .... watch the ' What's Goin' On ? ' trailer below for upcomings stuff......
Then just scroll down!!!!
BELOW!!!!

Sharron's Webshow Episode 14 Part 1

It has been soooo long but here is Episode 14.....Part One....
so many things....
so many places...so many people!
Keep your eyes open for Part Two!

My Dear Friend Tober, my last days in the land of the Scots....and....

Can you see the scottish flag in the upper left hand corner of the pic?

That is the view out of the lovely guestroom we stayed in at my dear friend Tober's house in Freuchie......pronounced frew-key....why the hyphen?... that is the way the Encyclopedia people do it!!!
After out big fast morning in Stirling we got into our rental car....which really.....frankly.....seemed like a popcan with wheels....and rode through the country to Fife....and in Fife....Freuchie...where the dear Tober resides.....when he is not in London.
England.
Not Ontario.
Tober, George and I did 'Martin Guerre' at Canstage back in the day.....and he has lived all over the world doing many fabulous projects....singing, acting and writing....and just recently he was in the Trevor Nunn production of 'Gone With The Wind' over in London.....he said ti was quite the experience!
The cast was excellent and the piece was challenging....some loved it...some hated it....what else is new?
But I haven't seen Tober in about 8 years...so I was so thrilled that he and his family invited us to their country estate......and an estate it is.....



That is Georgie and myself in our 'outdoor' outifts....I wore them for the whole effing trip!!! Anyhow....Tober and his mom and dad.....Vera and Tober....that is his dads name.....well....not really his name...it is his nickname and Tobers' real name.....ahhh....Vera and Tober just call their son Toby and everything is easier! They were sooo lovely to us and they fed us and stoked up the fire and gave us drinks......it was so cozy.
And they have a killer cat named Munch....like the painter.....that cat came in with a mouse during dinner and ate the whole thing.....godbless it.
They gave us the most sumptuous room to sleep in...and sleep we did...like a log!!!


It was so great to see Tober...Toby....he is one of those friends who you don't see forever and when you do it is just like before....that is a gift. Thanks to his family and to Tober....for such a great visit!!!


I was sad leaving Freuchie....as they were so lovely and I only get to see Tober every few years....but I still has so much to see and time was running out my friends....
So, we wave to the Reillys' ( Tobers' last name. course) and got into our popcan and drove back to Edinburgh....my sweet George thought that we could fit Holyrood Palace in.....and scope out our climb of Authur's Seat....have I mentioned that the big bang of our vacation was going to be climbing the big hill in middle of Edinburgh called Arthur's Seat......

Yup....that is it....may not seem like much....but after two people have spent the last few weeks eating their ways across the highlands....well....it is daunting....
But I was mentioning Holyrood Palace....it is the residence of the Queen when she is in Edinburgh....the Queen of effing England....her real place, man.!!!
I was so fucking excited!!!!


That is a ....thingie outside of the castle....now you cannot take pictures inside it....don't know why...but this palace is one of my faves....is it because she still lives there....royalty that is....or is it because Mary Queen of Scots also lived there at one time?...and they show you her rooms and all....and a place where her gay, italian secretary got stabbed.....56 times...those old timey people meant business.....when they killed you...they made sure you were dead...somewhere along our travels there was a painting of the execution of Mary Queen of Scots...and it showed the first try at slicing her head off.....yeah....it was still almost attached....uggg.....and yet...there was a woman named Maggie Blake who was hung for her crimes...in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh many years ago...and they rolled her body down the street and decided to stop at a pub along the way...those Scots get thirsty....and when they came outta the pub...she was sitting up in her coffin....I guess they didn't hang her enough....and you couldn't execute someone twice .... at that time...that is why they began to say "hung from the neck till you are dead"....
Anyhow....death aside....loved Holyrood....very well taken care of and a great mix of old and new....makes me want to see Versaillies.....but the best part for me...always the ruins...was Holyrood Chapel.....



I just love the RUINS!!!!
What a packed couple of days...wait....packed vacation....now....there is only one day left to do a couple of things I really want to do....George and I want to climb the seat....which really isn't something I am excited about doing....I don't really like climbing...I like hiking.....I have a different idea of that that is....remember!!!...but I wanna do it.....and I still wanna go on the double decker bus tour....can we fit it all in???

I saw ghosts and friezes....and my dear friend Tober!

Now...I read a book a couple years ago....cannot remember it's title.....actually it was a paperback of some kind that was..... fine....probably all crime and punishment.....but it went in depth about the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh.....when my mother-in-law mentioned it when we got here I got all excited and fussed up....we got everyone in a cab....5 of us including Deborah ..... our gracious hostess.....and went....
OH!!!!
First we went to see the Royal Yacht Britannia...it is moored in Edinburgh...kinda attached to a mall really....but I think...."The Queen is all posh!!! I wanna see where that chick lived!"....I say things like 'posh' and 'rubbish' now....just like Madonna...
OH!!!!
Now ...SIDEBAR!!!
I have decided to put three Scottish phrases into my daily vernacular .....
#1. Wee.....they all say it....they all love it!!! Why not me!!!
#2. EMMM....that is what they say here instead of um.
#3. Daft...... LOVE IT!!! So much classier....that stupid or retarded!
Now...where the eff.....oh ya...
THE BRITANNIA!!!
So, we got Ma into a wheelchair and took her around...now, here are a few words about the yacht...
First.....why so plain...I swear to god there was a chair that I had in my backyard growing up that was on the Lido deck.....
Second....The Queen and Prince Phillip have the tiniest single beds I have EVER seen!
You're the QUEEN!!!
Give Sleep Country a call!!
Third....The honeymoon suite bed was small and all I could think of was Charles taking Diana's virginity and scarring her for life!!!
So, that being said.....still pretty cool...oh to be so rich!!
So, after that we get into another cab and go to the Portrait Gallery.
Loved it!!
We couldn't take pics inside of the portraits but you could take pics of the friezes that were in the rotunda ....that was two big words at once!!!.....and they were lovely...the one at the top.....this one....


Look at the Scottish dudes!!!
Then the family went back to Bonnyrigg and George and I stayed in town because I wanted to go on a......
GHOST WALK.....
wooooooo.....
I picked the 'City of the Dead' tour....it was the only one that got access to the Greyfriars Churchyard at night!
Why would we do this on purpose, you ask?
I like a little scare!
And since it was so good George and I fortified ourselves with whiskey...to keep warm and all!
We were the oldest people on the tour by, like, 15 years.
All backpackers.....the guide started off chatting about torture....that is when my tummy started to go all iffy....
Torture is a gross business.
Then the 10 of us marched into the graveyard.....why would ANYONE
go into a a graveyard at night?
As we marched around I was looking for an actor who would scare the shit outta us.
When we got into the Masoleum .....yes...we went into a fricken masoleum...and they separated all of the men and women...so I ended up holding the hand of a girl from Wales named Roslyn....I was a bit scared shitless.
Then an actor jumped out and I screamed like a girl!
Oh wait.
I am a girl.
SOO!
The next day George and I rented a car with a couple destinations in mind.
I have a list left of all the places I wanted to visit......and we had one day.....and then we were to go to the home of our dear friend Tober.
So, ( play crazy banjo music here!) we rented a car.
We drove to Stirling.
And in two hours we....
Went to Bannockburn to see the field and the Robert the Bruce Statue!!!


Stirling Castle.




And then George and I climbed a big fricken hill!!
Straight up!!!
To see the William Wallace Monument!!!
Really George wanted to see the sword and I just want to see....
everything......


See that part to the right....the round part....circular staircase....
ALL THE WAY UP!!!!
We go to the second floor, see the sword...
And get the eff out!!

Oh.....so tired!!!
We did so much more....
But Graham Norton is on BBC 1....and I am afraid he is gonna say something dirty!!!
What will Auntie Pat say?

Arran....Edinburgh...Roslynn.....and the Pleurusy

Oh....it was like the Lord of the Rings.....it was like.....us on another ferry....to magical island of Arran......which .....Scottish people do not hate me please....in Ireland....it is called 'Scotland in minature' and that it is....but we were two hours early for the ferry....after being so late to the other one we tried to show off how early we could get somewhere....but I have to say my friends...when we got to the ferry dock...I got a bit worried...I was used to being at a bit huge ferry with tons of cars and people....there was no one....and the road just drove into the effing sea....I was thinking about how we had to back onto the last ferry....check this shit out...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scary.....and the rain....it was right Scottish...I decided to stay outside...due to my motion sickness....ness.....but it was like driving into a fairy land....we got across and they....my dear family .....took me to see a castle post haste.....it is an obsession....this is Lochranza Castle.....it was raining like hell....


Cloanaig is where we took the ferry from.........Lochranza is where we ended up....and it is on the whiskey coast....which makes me think of distilleries and pirates.....and this sheep.....

Now....this sheep was in field with about 100 other sheep.....but this one had decided to stand under a tree ..... to be protected from the rain......smart sheep....it looks like he is saying something.....like maybe..."Sharron, what is it with you and the castles.....and thank you for no' liking lamb!!!!"
We met old friends and neighbours of Auntie Pat from Airdrie.....Eunice, Bill,and their sons Alastair, Gordon and Gordon's wife Lynn....lovely people!! And Thanks to them it was easier for George to drive around this bendy island.....we just followed them.
Arran is gorgeous.
It is one of the most magical places I have ever seen.
We came in rain and bluster and left later that day in sun and loveliness on another ferry from Brodick....here was the sunset....

I mean ....really.
It was just lovely.
Then we made our way back to Glasgow.....for two days.
Now, George has been sick now for almost 10 days.....I wished him to go to the doctor but there was no place or time....he managed so well doing all the driving....this was the day....the day we came back to Glasgow that I started to feel ill.....
But we powered forward!!!
We went to the Glasgow Cathedral....... founded by St. Mungo....doesn't that rock.....there are so many statues around Scotland.....they are everywhere....you almost stop looking but this one was right outside Glasgow Cathedral......

Hhheeeeee hhahhaaa.....gotta love the university students.....but the Cathedral was so lovely.....we did a double decker tour to find the places we wanted to go and the Cathedral was on the top of the list......
Here are three things you need to know about me.....maybe not need....but it might help for the future of our blogging affair....
1. Love a castle
2. Love an old church
3. Love a cemetary
There you have it....weird, weird, weird.......
Here is the Cathedral......



PS....George takes all the awesome pics....I just take the average ones.......
Then after a couple fab days in Glasgow.....we got into a big ole cab and drove to Bonnyrigg.....right outside of Edinburgh.....to visit and stay with George's cousin Deb....she has been gracious enough to host us for a week!!
A WEEK!!!!!
But, since our ill fated ferry incident...we have been early everywhere....so we beat Deb there....and waited with out luggage.....



Here is ma..... with the luggage!!! God bless.....
Deb has been serving us and washing for us....she gave up here bed for us.....THANKS TO YOU!!!!
She took us to Roslynn Chapel today....you can say whatever you want.....I read the effing Da Vinci Code.... I know what it is due to that ..... I have read alot about it since then.....but I start with Dan Brown's book.... not the crappy movie with that Tom Hanks....that dude can do anything!!!! Oh to be a dude....
As we drove in I was all excited.... and filled with antibiotics....we went to the doctor today.....George and I have matching pill bottles....we have plerusy....... but I could not wait to see it!!
Like everything else I have seen here....GORGEous.......and tiny....it is overwhelming with its explosive carvings...that is the only way to describe them....the carvings reach out and look like teeth...the chapel was built in the 1400's and it took 50 years..... never had I seen anything like it....you cannot take pics inside ....



It was so overstimulating inside.....I didn't know where to look....but was I standing over the holy grail.....ark of the covenant....the embalmed head of jesus....no lie... that is a rumor......who knows....but I was there!!!
Oh.... and we went to the Edinburgh castle........but I gotta go for mince and tatties.....
Here is a shot of the biggest castle I have ever seen.....Mary, Queen of Scotts.......ALRIGHT!!!
I am coming!!!!!

Sharron in Tarbert and with Sheep...oh and Robert the Bruce!

After Kilmartin, I felt a bit sleepy but since I was in the front seat of the car I felt that it was my responsiblity to stay awake with George....so I fell asleep...of course......Ma woke me saying, “Sharron, look!” I turned and there in the middle of green, GREEN, ( I use two greens because... it was really green) field and a bunch of white and black sheep was a circle of about 12 standing stones....my mouth just dropped open and I stared....I mean, they were in the middle of someones’ cow field....no one but me really giving them a second look.
I got very excited.
What is it with people and the stones and witchery and heeland magic?
We sooo want it to be true.
Don’t we?
So, here we are in Tarbert at a pink hotel......when two ‘bear’ type males walked into the dining room during dinner and winked at me...I knew it was a gay friendly hotel....PINK...ah! It is very nice and homey and overlooks the bay....
Whenever we get somewhere I always think that I can’t like a place better than the last but I am always proven wrong.
I love this little town.



It also contains Tarbert Castle, home of....ready for it?....Robert the Bruce....you all can pretend you know that from a history lesson or a fancy book....but I know it is because most of you watched Braveheart...with that anti-semetic Mel Gibson....I still love that movie though he is an ass....Mel not Bruce....remember Robert the Bruce was portrayed by that dishy Angus Macfayden....I don’t know why his career never took off...he did the Braveheart movie and then then next thing I saw him in was the ‘Ya Ya Sisterhood’ movie with Sandra Bullock...who I love...judge me as you will.....I wonder if Angus thinks that Gerrard Bulter got his career........maybe there was only room for one scottish dude....Gerrard is scottish, right?....or is he Irish?
Did you know that the Scottish descended from the Irish in about 300AD???
REALLY!!!
WHAT THE EFF WAS I TALKING ABOUT???!!!
Oh ya...Tarbert Castle...very cool...it stands over the town like a sentinel....a bit of a ruin but it has a proud flag of Scotland flying over it...and I COULD not wait to get up there to it!
Castles and Standing Stones....
LOVE THEM!
Now, I haven’t mentioned that my hubby George has been sick since we arrived...he got the plerusy from the hacking dude who sat beside me on the plane.....we sat down and the dude started to cough and I turned to George with a pursed mouth.
But I haven’t got sick yet.....just poor Georgie....he seemed to be getting better but this morn he woke in our pink hotel with a look of sick.
I was so sad for him....I want him to feel better....I also want to climb around the hills....George was hacking and saying “No...I am fine...really...hack ...hack...cough... cough!”
Right.
I thought that since we don’t have to drive anywhere today it was the perfect day to have him lay in and sleep .... so I collected my morning duties from he and the ladies at breakfast....the sausage was square and flat....yum.....I was to go to the chemist...the chemist....and get cold stuff for Georgie and kleenex for Auntie Pat.... she’s not sick...just always prepared!....and the Cut n’ Crew to see if I could get Auntie Pat an appointment for a wash and style...many jobs....but I happily did them all!
And while I walked through the town with my paper sack of stuff I stared at the castle up on the hill....the city is surrounded by hills....mountains....the Scottish call them bens.....I wanted to see that damned castle....I asked George if he minded if I went....as he lay in bed looking like death....handsome...but still death warmed.....he said I should go....so I put on my new hiking shoes...that I am convinced I got too big.... my fleecy and my hat, shoved my ipod and my camera in my pockets....oh and I always take my passport just in case I need to be indentified.....somber but practical....that is me....and I walked to the info centre to find out....info.
The lady with the spiky hair.....burgandy....she was very nice....not like the chemist.....anyhow....I asked her how to get to the castle and she directed me to the staircase just past the dental surgeon’s office. And I use the word stairs loosely. The were rocks arranged together that ascend....but it has that old-timey feel....it should have been my first clue as to the journey that would follow.
I made it up to the ruins of the castle....


....whether it is a ruin or not....it is always impressive.....the historians think that it was built by Alexander I or II during the 300’s.....the effing 300’s...and then The Bruce put on extentions...he renovated...I just laughed outloud... I am pathetic....but I wandered around the castle, which is really just the tower that is left over of the castle keep, to take a pic from every angle as I wanted to really show George my journey....my adventures he calls them.... I just think it....I found myself down the hill in the braken...which I discovered today are really just like thick brown ferns....I always pictured braken as a thorny plant.....and as I put up my camera to take this picture.
....I heard a rumble behind me...I turned very quickly.....to see a freakin’ dear run by.....it stopped and looked at me...and I tried very slowly to raise my camera but it mistook my camera for a gun or some such thing and took off.
So.... I decided that I wanted to hike the bens...I was on my own and I was gonna do it anyway... the spiky haired lady told me at the shop the only thing that I had to fear in the woods was the sheep.....alrightie!
So, I looked at the flyer she gave me and I planned a short 45 minute walk.....but the adventurer in me....said “Come oh Sharron!!! Go for the 2 hours......”. I wish that was true... I really just didn’t read the flyer well enough and took a wrong turn....now let me mention right here.... I didn’t see another living soul on the whole hike.... and I hike it was... right till the bitter end... and I was out for about 2 1/2 hours....REALLY!!!
First of all.....it was all uphill at the beginning...


.....I know... no surprise.. but what we term as a hike uphill in Hamilton Ontario and what the Scottish folk term as a hike uphill....two very different things... let me tell you, now.
But I was brave....I was a warrior.
I had to keep pretending to look at crap from my pocket so that I could stop and take a breath the first 15 minutes....maybe, Sharron, a look at the map may have been a help....but I kept taking pictures of the view...that would only really appeal to me, I think.
The path in the beginning was all grass and.....bogs.... in my new too big shoes... though comfy....
But I was jumping over puddles and feeling all forest-ie.
Very soon I felt a little closed in...



...... the big view stopped and I was into the thick of the forest....I looked at the clock on my ipod after about 25 minutes...hm....I am pretty good with directions....north, west and all that .....that makes me all cocky with maps....I would have known if the path had turned itself back in the direction of the castle and town....so...I pull out the map.....hmm.....I see a marker and it has a white top....I see that means I am on the two hour walk path.....probably.... it go a bit sketchy.....hmmm....TWO Hours... into the highlands... alone......sounds very brave... and warrior like....
I will do it....of course, according to the ampe I might be on a 5 hour walk....but I will figure that out after the first hour....right?
So, as I continue further and further into the mountains all the inner scary movie voice start having a dialogue....
‘SSSHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....maybe you are going the wrong way.... and you haven’t seen anyone since you began......’ Well....so what....it is October.....not too many people on vacation.
‘SHHHAARRROONNN....what if someone is following you on this path..’
Shut it!!!
‘SSSSHHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....what if you fall and break one of your weak ankles?...’


Why did you have to bring that up??? Not only are you the scary voice but you are bad for my self confidence.
‘SSSHHHHAAARRROOOONNNN....be afraid...’
Alright!!!!
I am a grown woman who has gone on MANY hikes and been away from home....I have my puffer.... I have money and my passport in case, again, my body need to be identified .....SHUT UP........I am strong...and I have no water or food.....THERE ARE 100 STREAMS TO DRINK FROM ASSHOLE.......no cell phone...not that you would get a signal.....PLEASE......HEY I HAVE MY IPOD......that is good as a physical instrument to defend yourself with....what are you gonna do ..... make them listen to Avril Lavigne?
That voice is so witty.
I pulled out my ipod...charged, thank god.
And I put in an ear phone....just one the right one in case I am going to be attacked.......and push play......Girlicious’ hit ‘Like Me’ starts blaring....suck it scary voice....and my scary voice is lulled by the slutty girls singing.
I find myself happy again....and I have been walking for 40 minutes....and it seems that the path is turning slowly back... that makes me feel better....but it is rollercoastering....as soon as I start going down....I feel happy and sad....because I know it is going back up.
Somewhere in this time period I step in a bog.....a real bog....the path has been wet and my shoes are waterproof to a point....the point is a bog.
I am not wet up to both of my knees.....but perversely this makes me feel very woodsy and adventurous....and wet.
By the time I reach an hour and fifteen minutes....I start to worry....I don’t know where I am....I feel that the path should have really turned....the sky is stormy and I pull the map and in the bottome corner it comments on how the weather turns fast in the burns......so take the appropriate supplies....and read the map, ass.
I see where I might be if I am on the 2 hour walk.....and where I would be if I am on the five hour walk.
I try to picture the phone call to George.....”Can you come pick me up in Clacken....”
Isn’t that a great name.....just about that time I come out at a place where it is clear to me that I am on the right walk....thank god....and I see it turn into a hard dirt path...eff you bogs...and there is a very old foundation for a house of some kind....


there is nothing about it on the map....but it is very cool....I use the word cool because there are no exact words for how ......cool it really is... I feel excited and like I discovered something.....and like it was worth it to be a bit afraid....so I track off the path and walk through the braken into the building....


and the sun comes out....no shit.
I feel very satisfied.
I start to walk up the path as ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ begins to play.
The ipod has been a lovely companion....and I have also been talking to my dearly departed dog Otto who would have LOVED this walk.... to keep my spirits up.
It is all uphill but I am so thrilled that I know where I am and that I am on the right walk....and I have been very brave...and discovered and ancient foundation.....I still haven’t seen another person....AT ALL.....what if I travelled back in time....like Brigadoon?!!
That would be awesome and scary.
So, I continue back uphill for 20 minuted till I come to an unclear fork in the road ....and it is still so hilly that I can’t see the town either way.....I make a judgement call .... and as I walk for 15 minutes till I come to a rise.....inside I am chanting in rythmn with every step...... “Please be Tarbert....please be Tarbert....”
I am a bit filled with the worry because the sky has gotten black again.....what if it rains and I have to go under a tree?? What if George thinks I am dead??
Oh here is a thing....what if I think good thoughts???!!!
As I come to a rise I peer over I see.......


Tarbert!!!!
.....and I yell so loud, I scare myself and trip over a rock and almost break my right weak ankle.
I am bounding down the side of the mountain with such a feeling of self satisfaction!!!
I am super awesome......
When I get near the castle the first human I see is this effing huge black and white dog....he sees me and starts to bound for me..... and someone screams...... “SHEAS!”....which I have since found out mens sit...or stop....in gaelic....and I think a monster scottich dude is coming over the hill.....an it turns out being the tinest wizened man I have ever seen....on a cellphone....and he hooks up his dog and turns a suspicious eye my way as he passes....but eff him....even he can’t spoil my high!!!!
I made it.....
Alone....
Who cares if I got chased off the grounds by some over friendly black sheep....