Idol, Dog on Bed and what the eff?

Hey !

FINALLY they voted off that SCOTT dude!!
Finally! George thought for a moment that panel of judges was gonna save him.
But they didn't!
THANK GOD!!!!
Oh, what a couple days..... full of things that were great, things that sucked and things that I wish I could have had a video camera on for... oh and another thing that just made me fucking mad.
Where to start?!
Well, I have been sequestered in my home for the better part of the last three months working on many......many projects....shows, benefits... Videos...my ass....
Oh... and training a 110 pound dog.
It has been going well my friends... for one week together.. I think they are doing pretty damned fine... Cassie has been allowed back on the couch and the bed... Tyson can come up if invited.....and they run around together.. and they even kissed a couple times.... but hey, only first base, you dirty bitches....
I was feeling all puppy-low-voice-talker... which is my version of the dog whisperer....
But after pride commeth the fall ... or some fucking thing........George went to rehearsal yesterday... and I was alone with the 160 pounds of dog meat...I was DETERMINED to walk them by myself... though I was truly scared a bit shitless....
So, I sat them at the front door...and they did sit and poured out my heart to them... begging them to be good...asking them to not pull me off my feet...and Cassie seemed to listen...she is very intense.... a good listener.....and Tyson..... well... Tyson seems to listen to a music only American Bull Mastiffs can hear... like Lauren Hill.... or Sammy Davis junior....and I just had to pray that he would be good.
And they were.
God damn it... I walked them all the way around the block...it took about 20 minutes...I am all proud... I fucking rock.
So, today we take them to the park to play ball and it is all going well.... and then... and then Tyson gets the ball for the first time ... and George and I are all excited... and he runs around with Cassie... and then... and then...
he puts it one the ground in front of him... and they stare at each other and before we can run to them they start going at it... I mean... AT IT...holy shit... and I grab Tyson and George grabs Cassie and they keep trying to go at each other...
It was HORRIBLE!!!!!
Oh my god... all four of us walked home like we had been.... well ... IN A FIGHT!
Oh my god you guys...George and I could not shake it for the rest of the day...
Cassie and Tyson seemed fine... althought Tyson had a bit of a swagger because I think he won... and now all of their privileges have been revoked... no one is allowed on the bed.... and when I went out yesterday I barricaded Tyson in the kitchen.... so ... we start again...
( sidebar: he did break out... again and they are fine... as long as they don't have anything to fight over.... it seems)
Lord.... I almost threw up.

And, on a happier note, I finally shored up my guest list for
"Sharron's Spring Forward Party"
It is full of talent and history!!!
On Friday April 24th
Young Kritty Uranowski, who I did the Hairspray movie with, will be on singing her own tunes... she is really something else... you do not want to miss her....
And then the master of cabaret and jazz, my dear friend Tim Boyle.... he and I were room mates in the early 90's and .... oh my dears.... what a time it was...maybe we will talk about the time we smoked hoolie ( I don't do that anymore... really.. I freaked out once.. and then I decided the hoolie wasn't for me) and got chocolate and then turned down the volume on the TV and all picked a character in a porn and was that characters voice...... I can't wait to talk with him about THAT !... and have you hear him sing! Like a bird, people!
On Saturday April 25th
The ever talented Gabi Epstein will make her second appearance on the Party... she was in Edges and is a cabaret whirlwind... I think she is one of the best singers I know!
And.... oh my dear lord... the Big Girl is coming down to kick his head... sing a tune... and talk about our 3 months together on the Music Man Movie... which we did with Kristen Chenoweth... yes, Christopher Wilson will be on the Party....maybe he will talk about the time he got in trouble from Kathleen Marshall for having a kick off competition.... with an 8 year old!!!
And opening for the show at 7:30pm will be the ever creative, talented powerhouse Bryce Kulak of "The Big Idea"
Do not miss it!
So, it is among the last of Sharron's Party...I am not kidding y'all... I have written a really fun show.. and I look forward to see you all!
You can tickets online at
http://www.ticketweb.ca/snl/Search.action?query=sharron%27s+party&x=13&y=7
or call
#416 975 8555 for tickets


Fitness Quest 2009

So....I know you think I might have given in BUT I am still at it at the Berkeley Gym with Eleni and Kirsten... I am gonna do a Vlog next week... but I am working my tail off.... I am so happy with my whole regime.... and don't get me wrong... I have never worked harder...
I am on a bit of a plateau right now... but I am powering through it people....
So... yesterday I did my first spin class into training... and the spin teacher Lara... who is amazing... is also one of the hardest and ...nicest people you will ever meet ... which makes it hard to hate her at she has you on a maximum resistance...for 5 minutes... when she said it was five minutes ... the horrible person that lives inside of me... almost screamed out "FUCK OFFF!!!!!!" ... the extra F is for extra FUCK!...
But I made it... I had done 3 days in a row of really challenging spin and so when i came out to meet Kirsten I thought that maybe she might take it easy on me... what the eff was I thinking....
Skipping
Stairs
Push Ups
Burpies
More skipping
Lunges
and then my friends.... I did tricep dips... and in the middle... I could help myself... I cried... I pulled my towel in front of my face... and cried... I couldn't even stop it...
But then I wiped my face and got back to it.
And Kirsten is firm, yet understanding... she didn't let up... but she didn't kill me either.. that is the mark of an awesome trainer.. and she is awesome.. and sat and talked me about my plateau after....
And then I came home and sat in the bathtub for two hours...
And I go back to Eleni on Monday who has been in Miami taking a boot camp... she is always learning.. this fitness pro... so... I am a bit shitting my pants about what she is gonna make me do on Monday....
Who knows?

Billy Bob

I couldn't find a shitter colour to spell his red neck name in... have you seen the clip on youtube of him on Jian Gomeshi's show... you have to go... you have to see... he is an embarrassment... and he has made almost a whole country hate him...he mentioned in this interview how performing for Canadians was like the mashed potatos without the gravy.... and that we just sit there...... if he didn't think that we stand up enough.....WELL WE DO NOW!
We stand up to your spoiled celebrity rudeness.... and your band sucks!!
ooohhh I am all filled with fire!!!

I am off to spin class!

I hesitate to say..... that he is the cutest... boy dog... that is alive today... I know... I know.... you all think your dogs are cute too... and they are.... but I mean..... COME ON!!!
Look at that face.
We woke yesterday to no cries.... except for our tummies... George and I tried not to make noise to wake him... or make him whine... so the Bathroom was out of the question!!!
But Tyson slept till 8:00am... no cries...wow.
One of my favourite moments of yesterday was trying to figure out how to get into our kitchen while the dog-bed-that-ate-New-York was in there... and he doesn't even sleep on it... he sleeps.... BESIDE it... and once.... under it.
We thought and thought... and we pulled in the $20.oo bathmat and Tyson acted like the thing came from Holt's doggie store.... he sits on it... sleeps on it... not on the $ 89.00 monstrosity that we could NOT afford.
Look at how cute he looks on it.

We had alot of visitors yesterday.... our pal, and fellow dog nut... because we are a breed unto our own that many of you will NEVER understand......Ryan came over! He is all 'Cesar the Dog Whisperer' devotee... and I had been on him since the day of the 'Accused humping moment' to get his DVD of Cesar's season 2 so we can train these dogs....train them like no dog has ever been trained....ahhh.... dreams are a beautiful thing, my friends....
And we sat and talked about our dogs for hours... I mean HOURS....
And Sara came by for dinner.....
The only weird part .... is we have to keep our eyes on his.....um.... he got neutered and because he was 4, he still has... the sack, as it were...I think I already mentioned that.
So, every time that behemoth rolls on his back our eyes are glued to is ballsack.
Looks... fine.
It is quite a lovely colour actually.
But they move forward... they are laying in the same room .... she still growls a bit and he just wants her to love him sooooo badly.
But George has tried walking them both ... at the same time....
Will I EVER be able to do that?

Cassie has ideas.

Tyson.
He is humouring me....and as you can see... he doesn't really stay still when asked, as of yet.
Cassie.
She cannot believe how fucked this is.
The best part is when we walk them.
It is quite a production...with the two of them... people cut us quite a wide berth, let me tell you.
Last night, we decided that after our long walk... which we will do twice a day...which consists of George and I leaning back and holding on for dear life till we get to the park and then we get a bit of slack from them after they have walked on the 100 square feet of grass around the corner from us....
Cassie pulls like the bejesus to be in front... I know what that is like.....I digress... we decided that I should have a try at walking Tyson out back of our condo.....
So, we switch pooches.... Cassie so happy to have her Daddy back... she loves George best......sigh....I get Tyson's leash and George says " No, you want to get your whole hand through the loop...." ....oh.....and then we begin to walk around the parking lot... I feel all fabulous and superior... till Tyson decides he would like to go somewhere else... and then he pulls my arm out of the socket and I have to lean back like I do when I am doing the chest machine at the gym.... the Berkeley Gym, 128 Berkeley street... ask for Olivia .... she'll hook you up.... best training and spin classes in town.... okay... and when I lean back he almost pulls me right off my feet... and stops short.. I fall into him... it is like walking into a brick wall and he just stares at me.... that is when I realize that he is humouring me.... he kinda likes me... wants me to know that maybe I can walk him.... but don't get to cocky, lady.
I turn and look at George and Cassie.... Cassie is just sitting there looking all haughty and aloof... and she has that 'This is fucked' look on her face.
When I got into bed last night I was a bit think-ie.
( Tyson in the kitchen... and Cassie super mad on the floor beside the bed... because all of the literature says not to allow them on the furniture as it causes territory issues... blah blah blah... UG)
You know.... I am having the serious thoughts.....this is alot of work and will take alot of patience and time.
It is kinda late for that thinking... but what does that all mean.
We had talked about moving somewhere maybe....
George looked at me and could see that I was thinking as my brow was furrowed and I had that far off look in my eyes.... and asked me what was up.
Nothing.
Just serious thoughts.
But I woke this morning.... Tyson gave his first cry at 8:00am on the nose... HE KNOWS HOW TO TELL TIME.......and thought....there is a reason this little pup... huge monster pup... was put in our path and why we felt the need to bring him home..... it is meant to be.
So all 'return to love', I know... but I do feel it.
Cassie is more accepting of him.... she comes closer to him and sniffs him through the baby gate.... she stays in a sit while he walks around her....we stay calm... unlike the humping/ripped shirt moment....
Some people have babies....
Some people have pets......
Some people have goob from Tyson's mouth all over their condo.
George and I thought if we could change his name... which we never would....
MacGoober would be a good title.
Cassie just looked at us.
She thinks it is fucked.