Happy Effing New Years!!!! LAST DAY OF WORLD DOMINATION!!! OFFICIAL SONG OF 2010.

So, here I sit...I am sick...I really am...fucking fucking fucker.

My hair has been in braids for four days...I actually had a bath yesterday...when I woke this morning George called our doctor and got me in right away...now, I love my doctor...but sometimes...she can be in a bit of a bad mood...but she is a bit in love with George (though, in case she reads this, she is happily married...wow...this isn’t going to make her like me anymore...c’est la vie...as the french say) ...so, when I need something I usually bring him with me...he had to stay in the car with the dogs...because they wanted me there in 20 minutes...AND he got me there.

When I had my blood pressure taken (above average, thank you very much spin class) I asked the nurse if she was in a good mood...the doctor, that is...oh how the nurse laughed...chills one to the bone.

The doctor came in and looked at me...and smiled...huh...asked about my FABULOUS KOBO...which George got me for Christmas...she was so lovely...then we talked about my Super Secret TV program.

She was very excited for me...I have been going to her since I arrived in Toronto, so, for 20 years....holy fuck...20 years.

She has seen me through some very hard times, career wise...the ups and downs...the sideways...so frustrating, the sideways moves.

Anyhow...if I had known that it would take getting a TV show to get the nice treatment I woulda tried harder...isn’t that always the way...you get so many more perks from the TV.

Anyhow...she put me on the HORSE PILLS of antitbiotics so that I would be ready to fly on Monday....and I got a Netipot...it is sitting on the table...it scares me...it intrigues me...I wonder if it will make me puke.

So, I am at home...feeling a bit under...

BUT it is the last day of World Domination 2010.

I was thinking that the theme of next year would continue to be World Domination...but that just seems like a cop out...I got to be able to come up with something better than that...I feel a bit of pressure...I have also tried coming up with a song that really encapsulates all of 2010....also hard...

I must go and think...

I am open to ideas...I will say though, that the show that will travel to London and Scotland this year will be called....

Sharron Matthews Superstar: Jesus Thinks I’m Funny.

Oddly enough, I have my Auntie Pat to thank for that...story to be inserted in SHOW!!!

But what will the theme of my year be....WHAT??!?!?

Okay....to the song...now...I have figured out a song...not that I want to focus on the negative...but there is a lifetime of negative that we have to overcome in realizing a dream...am I wrong? When we make grand plans all the crappy things that people have told us...all the gold stealers out there...all the things that make us feel ‘less than’ come running through our heads...but we can win...we can do it...so here is my song for the year...because it is catchy, because it makes me laugh and because it is irreverant...to the Nth degree....and it is by Cee Lo....give it a watch...and watch it all the way!!! What a fucking fabulous video....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pc0mxOXbWIU

So, now that I have figured out a song for last year...I need a theme for this year??? I only have 7 hours...HELP!!!!!

And may I take this moment to wish you ALL a Happy New Years...wherever in the world you may be...and may you come up with your own theme for 2011 and your own song to encapsulate 2010!!!

WHY NOT!!!

George just asked, WHAT IF...he called 2011 the Year of the Perpetual Tan...I told him he might wanna reach higher...but who am I to say?

Hungry? Intervention.

Short.

Sweet.

To the point.

Mmmm... sweet.

How the fuck can I be hungry, huh? How? Huh?

On another note...nothing says the holidays like an all day marathon of Intervention. POOR TASTE A & E...speaking of taste...HUNGRY! HOW!?!?! HUH?!?!?! HOW!?!?

(Like people aren't bummed enough at Christmas....watch Katie steal money from her Gramma and drink it, snort it or shoot it between her toes...I just puked and passed out.)

True Grit and Social Network ...and George is sleeping....

Well, he isn't really sleeping...I just think he is a tiny bit over me putting every little thing he does on the interweb...he hasn't really said as much...but we have been together for 19 years....holy fuck.
We are celebrating our 19th Christmas....how grand.
And for the first time in one million years George and I had the luxury of waking up Christmas morning in our own bed....once, early on in our Christmas-relationship-career, we slept at a relatives on a pile of couch cushions...I swore... never again.
So we woke in our bed and promptly went back to sleep...
YAAAAAY!
We had planned to see as many movies as we could...sometimes movies make George sleepy...we bought tickets to see "True Grit"....when we walked into the theatre the most god awful feedback started screeching out of the speakers and people started to pour out and mill around...we didn't even stop and think...we found a movie that started 5 minutes later....Social Network.
We are possibly the only humans in Toronto to not have seen this movie yet...and I had heard so many awesome things about it that I was afraid it would not live up...
Huh.
I liked it fine.
I thought it was good...but I didn't love it...near the end both George and I were checking the time, although George professed to have loved it a lot.
It is hard watching something where you are searching...as we tend to do...for a person with a redeeming quality....and I could only find one...Eduardo...
That Mark Zuckerberg seems to be a douche...only second to the douchieness of Sean Parker, as played by my ever loved...suck it if you judge me...Justin Timberlake...he was a bit too trite and then a bit too over-the-top...don't tell him I said so...the actor who played Zuckerberg...I am too tired to go to another page and google it...was awesome...he did a fabulous job.
Loved the dude who played two dudes.
NOW!
Maybe someone can tell me...I don't quite understand and am TRULY looking for an answer here....how can they get away with using names, companies and private relationships on the screen? Some of the character portrayals are damning...after all....Sean Parker...maybe he doesn't give a crap....
HOW, you guys?
How?
Anyhow....rating for Social Network? B. I know some of you will freak out that it isn't an A but I stand by my rating.

Then we went to see True Grit.
I wasn't too excited...I didn' t really feel into a western...BUT what I forgot was that is was a Coen Brothers film....I fucking love those guys...they really and truly embrace a film style.
I fucking loved this movie.
Everything about it.
The kid, Jeff Bridges (with an accent that I almost could not figure out), Matt Damon all precious, Josh Brolin, Barry Pepper...so great...every character.
I could have watched it forever...and there was a dude in front of us who kept commenting on everything..."You are in trouble now little girl!", "He drank too much whiskey....", "What are you gonna do now?"...this man also put his feet up right in front of us with no shoes on....STINKY. But he was amusing.
It was like the one time I saw a movie in Brooklyn.
There was the dialogue on the screen and the UNENDING dialogue in the audience...amazing.
Again, True Grit...Rating? A+ BITCHES!!!
George is, right now, trying to get the Turkey together.
He was supposed to cook it for me last night....he thought it was cook from frozen...it wasn't...Chinese food it was...then he put it the fridge to defrost over night...NOT DEFROSTED!...
So, we are putting the turkey in and dropping in at a friends' house.....
I hope all of your Christmas' have been wonderful so far...
I have to go get ready to go to my friends house!!!
ALL THE BEST!!!
I will be eating turkey at 2:00am.
I love Christmas. I love time off with George. I love all of you supporters and readers....may I wish you a Happy Holidays.

Number One in NY, White Christmas and Andrea Martin

SO!

I woke today filled with the happiness of going to my friend Thom’s house last night and experiencing our yearly viewing of “White Christmas”...I was looking forward to it so much that my very sick husband insisted that I still go even though he was staying home.

Though I love George...I went....I love it.

Oh my freaking lord I love that movie...I am a total lord...and I love watching it with Thom!

Look at those two...draggin' it up....

I always learn something new about it every year...

This year I learned that Vera Ellen always wore something to cover her neck and arms because she was so skinny and bony that they needed to put her in turtle necks...who knew? Made me a bit sad.

I learned that Danny Kaye’s part was originally supposed to be played by Fred Astaire and then Donald O’Connor...can you imagine ANYONE ELSE playing that part? And he always looks a bit in love with Bing...which I adore.

So many things...and when ever I see the actors and singers from White Christmas in other movies I feel weird...I feel a bit dirty....they will always exist for me in this time and place.

See?

Lordy.

LOVE IT!!!

As a side bar...we saw the guy who played Bernardo from West Side Story, who does a scene with Rosemary Clooney ( he is a dancer in “Love You Didn’t Do Right By Me”) in the special features part of the DVD and he was so pulled and dyed that we had to stop the video and just look....lord...what the fuck....people do that plastic surgery way too much. They also showed Kathryn Crosby, Bing’s widow...and she WAS ALSO SO PULLED...actually even more than Bernardo...one of her eyes is wider than the other and opens and closes like one of those dolls...with the blinking eyes...it was terrifying.

Thank you THOM!

And this morning...after my still sick hubby went off to work I checked my email and read this...( I have shortened the entry below...to uh....to um....oh let us be honest....to get right to my part...)

From Andrew Martin of NiteLifeExchange.com on WPAT Radio 930 AM, 2/21/10, 2:15-2:25 AM

Hello, Michael, Hello, John, and thank you both so much for having me back this week. I'm Andrew Martin, and you can always find my column and my reviews on NiteLifeExchange.com (that's "n-i-t-e," like "bite" or "kite").

(here is where I shortened)

From there we jump to cabaret. Since the end of the year is upon us, I thought it only right if I gave a rundown of what I've considered the top fifteen cabaret acts of the year 2010. I'm not going to take up a lot of time by providing reviews of each, because I've already done that on NiteLifeExchange.com. What I'd like to do instead is simply provide you with the name of the performer and the venue in which they appeared, and hope that you'll all be on the lookout for all of them if and when they make new appearances in 2011. They are:

15) Cynthia Crane, Don't Tell Mama

14) Joshua Warr, Laurie Beechman Theatre

13) Gretchen Reinhagen, Metropolitan Room

12) Corinna Sowers-Adler, The Duplex

11) Mary Testa, Laurie Beechman Theatre

10) Anthony Cochran, Metropolitan Room

9) Lois Sage, Laurie Beechman Theatre

8) Emily Bergl, Metropolitan Room

7) Michael Garin and Mardie Millit, Metropolitan Room

6) Carole Demas, Laurie Beechman Theatre

5) Kara Johnstad, Metropolitan Room

4) Barb Jungr, Metropolitan Room

3) Sarah Rice, Laurie Beechman Theatre

2) Lillias White, Iridium Jazz Club

1) Sharron Matthews, Joe's Pub

That's all the time I have for now, and remember, you can always find my reviews and my column on NiteLifeExchange.com. For WPAT, 930 on your AM dial, I'm Andrew Martin.

HOLY FUCKING CRAP!

I kept reading down the list...I thought...why did he send me this?

And then I got to the fucking number one spot...HOLY FUCKING CRAP!!!

yay.

Thank you, Andrew...what a great honour.

I already felt pretty good about my trip to NY....but this...holy crap....can I stop saying it...I DON’T Think SO!

So, in the spirit of that I have decided to embrace the idea....the truth as it were...of being an admitted social media whore and campaign for something.

You may think it is gross...you may judge me...but the Hollywood fancies have someone that they hire to get their hands dirty...but it is just me here, people...I gotta do my own admin.

I have been nominated by Broadwayworld.com for an award for “Best Theatrical Event” in 2010....I was just going to let it go and not really talk about it...I feel very honoured and am in absolutely fabulous company...Andrea Martin, Seth Rudetsky, Marc Kimmelman’s show...I wanted to let nature take it’s course...but I am in 4rth place people...

on Twitter today...in my first bid to campaign...to test the waters...I said this.....

SharronMatthews So...I am up for Best Theatrical Special Event on Broadwayworld.com...why not vote for me? Andrea is a star and Seth lives in NY! They don't need it! VOTE HERE!!!! http://toronto.broadwayworld.com/vote2010toronto.cfm Best Theatrical Special Event, people!!!

Two minutes later this came up....

iamandreamartin @SharronMatthews , stars like votes too, miss sharron. But you have MINE!

And then....

SharronMatthews @iamandreamartin uh oh.

Twitter pause.....

SharronMatthews @iamandreamartin See. This is what happens when you are a true social media whore. I love you ANDREA!!!! You do have a Tony, though....

I hope she understands.... I VOTED FOR HER FOR BEST ACTRESS IN A PLAY!!! I DID!!! Please understand, Andrea.

Please.

Wow.

That went very badly.

Anyhow...I couldn’t even imagine asking you to vote for me....

But if you have a moment.....WHY THE FUCK NOT?!?!?!?

http://toronto.broadwayworld.com/vote2010toronto.cfm

Good day ALL!!!

I LOVE YOU, ANDREA!!!

You do have a Tony....and an Emmy....



End of the year of WD...and Gloria.

As the end of the year quickly approaches...holy shit...it really doth approach (look Grampa -Steve Ross - I got all Shakespearean)...the end of the year always gets me to thinking...
I know you all might be sick of hearing me be thankful for all of the support that I received for, and during, my year of World Domination...that started the afternoon of January 1st...the day I sat in front of my computer in my pajama pants, a tshirt that I got in a swag bag that says “fabulous” across the bosom, my green hoodie with a bleach spot on the left arm, my fave socks...the socks that I have worn so much the heal is gone on one of them...and a scrunchie...suck it...so what...I have on scrunchie left over from the 90’s...was it the 90’s?...what the eff was I saying....oh ya...the day I sat in front of the computer and said to myself and George...and Tyson and Cassie... “How the fuck will I do this???”
I never dreamed that so many people would be so very supportive, positive, excited, helpful, kind and generous to me and my family...and my project. There were so many people and so many things that they did to help....here are a few that spring into my mind....
The anonymous person who donated $500.00 after they came to see “Love, Loss and What I Wore”....I had a number of anonymous donors...intriguing.
The ladies...Trixie, Roxie, Vixen....Julia...I don’t know Julia’s special name...who, when I told them I was trying to brainstorm ways to raise the cash, they called me on a conference call ( I have never been on a conference call) and helped me figure out the fund raiser with silent auction...and then brought one million people who bid on all the merchandise...and drank...how they drank.
Michael Hughes...who, among other things, just drove around in the car with me one day so I could run one thousand errands and not have to park the car...he also minded the dogs who were in the back seat.
Donald Schafer...my PR guy in New York...who ferried me around for a whole week and probably spent twice as much money on me ( drinks, cabs...you name it) as I paid him to promote me....just because he said he believed in me...I had never met him before I went down to do Joe’s Pub.
Michael Rubinoff....who after we opened “Love, Loss and What I Wore”, expressed how much he wanted George to see me in the show (George was in New Brunswick)...and sent George and email asking if he could fly him back to Toronto to see the show...and pay the costs.
Wayne Gwillim, who did both trips with me...and did if for next to nothing...and busked with me on the streets of Edinburgh...who stayed up till 3:00am so he could play “Bohemian Rhapsody” for me on a tricked out piano... we were on right after a dude did naked magic...he was an amazing companion on this journey.
Derrick Chua who, among other things...many other things...such as co-producing the tour....made sure that I ate, drank and was fueled up to go in Scotland...he cooked dinner almost every night...and if he was out he would leave something for Wayne and I on the stove. Who ran up to me, the same night of the naked magic dude, waving the weekly revue sheet ‘Broadway Baby’ with my picture and 5 Star revue on the front with GLEE in his eyes.
The people at the Half Price Hut in Scotland who would wave to me in the crowd...I was in among hundreds of people...to let me know that I had sold my quota of tickets.
Rob Harris from England, who I met in Scotland, who I would stand with in the line ups and we would hand out our fliers...who took a handful from of mine from me...and when people didn’t want to see his show...would tell them about mine...he came to my show 5 times.
The woman who came to both my shows in New York...who I had never met.
The teenagers...and the 50 somethings...who came to my show numerous times in Scotland...and brought new people with them every time.
Brian Goldenberg, who on the last day of fund raising...the day I raised $5000.00, called me at the end and asked how much money I still needed to reach my goal...and then gave it to me.
Joan Mathers...she knows why.
My lawyer, Mark Davis, who helped me....oh, how he helped me...who, when he first met me...said, “I watched your videos...your show is a bit...racuous.” He was one of my knights in shining armor.
There is so much...so many things and so many people to be thankful for.
I didn’t know how to do it...and again, as I sat in the audience of Alan Cumming’s show the first night in Scotland and cried....I couldn’t believe I did it.
Or as I stood under the lights at Joe’s Pub that first night...the night I could do NOTHING wrong...it was so very magical and one of the best of my life...I just was in the moment...I felt so very grateful that night.
Lastly, I would like to thank my dearest love George, who gave me one million pep talks, ideas, kleenex, hugs, kisses, stern talking to’s...who stood out in the Scottish winds for HOURS handing out my flyers and talking about me...who never doubted that I could do it...and when I told him I didn’t think I could, told me that it was too late to turn back...and that it was unfair to him and everyone, who had already invested so much in me. He is my partner...my team mate...my greatest champion and my absolute best friend...and never thinks my ideas are cockamamie... ( I am sure I spelled that wrong) and always thinks it is best to follow one’s dreams...damn the cost.
Yup, damn the cost.
This started out as what I thought was gonna be an amusing tale of some sort....huh....I guess it is kinda like my year really, and a recipe for most of the things I do...I usually start something knowing what I want it to be...then it turns into something totally different...and I do my very best to stay open...
I thought I knew what this year was going to be...but it was harder...a great deal harder than I expected...I thought it would be rewarding...it surely was, and most of the rewards are beyond words and some were totally opposite of what I hoped...it was larger....it was smaller....it was thrilling...it was painful...it was an eye opener...it hurt my feelings...it built my confidence...it was fucked up....it was perfect....just perfect.
I will end this tale of thanks by telling you a little story about my last show of the year...it happened last night.
I was backstage with John Hughes, who played my show in Oakville last night....he is just about the best dude and player...no one knows Bway like him... and the tech guy, Andrew, came into the dressing room holding an orchid...I never get flowers out of town...I was touched and excited...who the eff were they from?
When I opened the card I saw they were from my dear friend...who I haven’t seen in years...Gloria.
When I was in “Beauty and the Beast” in 1997 I was going through a hard time and sometimes it was more than I could bear. Gloria was my dresser. She would see me begin to become incredibly upset and she would do everything in her power to help me through and would help me make sure that no one ever saw that I was having a hard time.
She would talk me down.
She would hug me while I cried.
She would just sit with me...
Then there was one day when she brought me a journal...she said that I always seemed to feel better when I wrote...and I began to write...really write...and it was my oar...you know?... The oar for my fucking floundering boat...
Last night, I talked about her in my show and asked her to stand.
After the show she came to me...she is so tiny I could fit her in my pocket...and she said that she thought I looked so great...and that she knew that I was doing what I was supposed to be doing.
I don’t think I would have done nearly as well in that show if she hadn’t been there...and I think she was one of the universe’s instruments that helped me start to write in earnest...she is an angel.
And she was there to witness that I had made it through.
And I wasn’t nervous for one blessed second last night.
Thank you all.
Thank you Gloria.
Thank you....and Merry Christmas....lordy as I am.
God I looked hot in that fucking outfit....

Only 12 days....let the parodies begin...

I know that the basis of the 12 days of Christmas is not actually the 12 days before Christmas...it is some weird idea that I don't actually care enough about to even Google...now if that isn't effing lazy, I don't know what is....BUT it is now 12 days TILL Christmas...
I cannot fucking believe it.
We don't even have a Christmas tree....
George usually starts talking about it in November....whoops, I mean Mo-vember....
THANK GOD THAT IS OVER!!!
Let me be clear here...I am very supportive of the money raised, the effort to grow facial hair and the time taken for Mo-vember...but how many dudes are you seeing again, now, in December and thinking
"OH MY GOD...that moustache is ON PURPOSE!"
Anyhow....George usually starts talking about the tree in November...but we still don't have one!
Maybe tomorrow.
Anyhow!!!
I have already heard ONE MILLION...I know it is hard to believe but....ONE MILLION versions and parodies of the 12 days of Christmas...
I just heard a jazzy and all "minor key" version that made my hair stand on end...and not in the good way...in the "Really?? You are trying too hard." kinda way.
I like the original.
I know this is coming from a gal who has....does calling myself a gal make me sound old?...fuck it...I don't care....this is coming from a GAL who has made a living...barely...of changing arrangements to songs...but I LIKE the original.
There.
I said it.
Anway...this message it two fold.
One.
To remind you to be on guard for pretenders of the "12 Days of Christmas."
Two.
(The following is a true story.)
I have been busily working on next year...and after I go to London....ENGLAND, people!!!...in January, for a whole week, to look for venues and meet with my producer....YES....I am booked till pretty much the end of October...all outside of the country or on the TV!
YES!!!
I said it!!!
THE TV!!!
I start shooting the SECRET TV show, that I can't tell you the title of, on Jan 17th for two months people...then I have gigs all around Canada...then to Europe...then back to Europe.
That is the plan...an exciting plan.
It is a daunting and awesome plan.
A plan that I thank all of my World Domination donors and supporters for helping to plant the seeds of...does that make grammatical sense....did I spell 'grammatical' right?
Any-freakin'-way!
THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH for your support, words, donations, emails and general positive thoughts this past year....I can't believe what a year it has been...
I will not be doing a show in Toronto till...at least...I shit you not....till October next year....IF THAT!!!
CAN YOU FREAKIN' Believe it?!?!?!?
So, this week I will revisit two of my fave shows...

"Sharron's Holiday Party" at the Toronto Centre on Thursday the 16th with Bravura opening ths show! www.tocentre.com

OR come on over to the Oakville Centre for the Arts on Saturday the 18th to see "Sharron's Big Broadway Show"! All musical theatre!! All the time! http://www.oakvillecentre.ca/

I would love to see you...to chat with you...to sell you my CD for all of your Christmas stockings...to give you a hug...to tell you a dirty joke...to sing you a funny song...
Because it will be too long till next time!
I hope you are all enjoying the Holidays...that you are well...that you aren't freezing your bits off....
Come on down!!!

Mean Girls...finally a still...after all these years.

I have always wanted a still shot of this movie...and this couldn't have been a better shot.
Thanks to Jennifer who found it.

Blythe, Hater, Effing Spence and Michael Buble!!!

Dear ALL!

I noticed that sometimes newpaper columnists publish a ‘catch-all’ column and I decided that since I hadn’t written anything that wasn’t a fricken self promotion in....5 years...that I wanted to pass on some random thoughts to you.

NUMBER 1.

I have ALSO noticed that a lot of my tweets are of the negative nature lately....I noticed this because I just wrote...about 5 minutes ago...

“I am feeling very thankful for this year. I would like to thank everyone who supported me and/or helped my on this freakin’ awesome adventure that I have begun....Haters? Suck it.”

Now. I looked at the “Suck it” part over and over again and wondered...did I want to put it out there?

It might be minorly (or as is always my hope, MAJORLY) humourous...but did I want to dilute...yes, I said it....dilute a positive message with a negative sentiment?....yes, Isaid that too.

I deleted the tweet...that sounds stupid...WOW! I was just negative to myself.

I think I am gonna try to tweet more positive....maybe it will change my life...maybe it will change the world....maybe people will just not find me funny...I guess I will just have to work harder at being funny and positive.

That sounds exhausting.

Number 2.

I have a spin teacher that looks like my friend, Blythe Wilson. From far away...the length of the spin room...she looks exactly like Blythe. She has been (Blythe) away on tour for a million years now. Sometimes I take this class just to feel like I spent an hour with Blythe....this is bit pathetic, I know....we all get our comforts where we may.

Number 3.

Why did Grey’s Anatomy stick Christmas decorations all over the set and pretend it was Christmas....but not really have a Christmas episode....they played Christmas music and all...that had nothing to do with the story line...and then (SPOILER ALERT) the lady from Spamalot slammed the door in the pretty blonde lady’s face.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!? And is it done till next year?

Lord.

Number 4.

I love the Michael Buble clip I found on the old FB. If you haven't seen it the link is below. I remember that every concert I went to I always wondered what would happen if I was brought up onstage...I wished it...I hoped for it...I dressed for it.

I STILL DO!!!

The non dreamers of the world said it would never happen...well, this proves that you should be ready for anything and everything...and be open to it!!! You never know what may happen.

http://wimp.com/michaelbuble/

Number 5.

I am going to London, England in January for the first time in my life...and I am going by myself...I am staying with friends when I get there...but I think I will be running around a bit on my own. I am a bit nervous...I am a bit excited. I am going to find a place to do my show. I am fucking excited.

Number 6.

I plan to make this the best Christmas ever.

Number 7.

I am not sure how I plan to do number 6 but I will figure it out....I did start by taking George to the Distillery

for Hot Chocolate...we bought one for 5 Bucks at Soma and hated it...we bought one for 3 bucks at Balzacs...it was awesome...just saying.

Number 8.

YOU also can make it the best Christmas ever....unless you don’t celebrate it...then you can make it the best December EVER by coming to see my Holiday show at the Toronto Centre on Thursday, December 16th....Bravura will be opening the show...my husbands group...three baritones...Curtis Sullivan, Lawrence Cotton and George...they are awesome.

www.tocentre.ca

OR you came come to my ‘Sharron’s Big Broadway Show’ on Saturday December 18th in Oakville at the Oakville Centre for the Arts.

https://secure1.tixhub.com/oakville/procurement/

Number 9.

See what I did there in number 8? I remain unashamed.

Number 10.

And, finally, I would like to thank Spence Diamonds for launching the meanest-spirited-Mean-Girls campaign ever at Christmas time....way to make lonely people feel EVER WORSE!!!

FUCK OFF!!!

Hope all are well, except for Spence Diamonds.

Christmas and Broadway....what a lordy bunch of stuff!!

OKAY!!!
I KNOW!!!
I AM THE CABARET GIFT that keeps on giving...by promoting...and promoting...and promoting BUT A GAL HAS GOTTA DO HER THANG....thing....no wait....thang.
Definitely thang.
I have two shows coming up and then I will not be back to Toronto till...well, I am gonna be absolutely honest....my next show that is even near TO in next May.
I am fully booked till the end of May....and there are irons in the fire across the pond till September after that....so I honestly DO NOT KNOW when I will be back...and I shit you not!
From January till March (after I go to London on a fact finding and producer meeting mission in early January) I have a secret, to-be-named project....fuck I wish I could tell you....it is HUGE HUGE HUGE....and this project takes up ALL the rest of January, February and most of March and then I , thankfully, have one nighters all over Ontario and one in Moosejaw, bitches....Saskatchewan ain't never seen the likes of me!!
I am booked at Theatre Aquarius in May for two weeks...and I am full on looking forward to working in my hometown....telling people stories with their real names in it.

OKAY....so here we go...these are my final dates in Toronto for at least a year.

On December 16th I am doing my fave show....
Sharron's CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY Party
at the Toronto Centre in the gorgeous little studio theatre...I last saw "Title of Show" there are LOVED IT! My husband's baritone trio, Bravura, is opening for me...they are handsome and dreamy!
And the FABU Chris Tsujiuchi will be playing PEOPLE! We may even sing together!
It is a intimate room and tickets are going SO BUY THEM now...everyone says this show gets them into the season...whatever your season may be!
There will be holiday cheer....tons of laughs...something for everyone really...as I have said...this has long been my fave show.
Below is the poster and below that the link to the website where you can buy tickets!

http://www.tocentre.com/

And next, two days later on December 18th (Saturday) at the beautiful Oakville Centre for the Arts in their studio theatre I will be doing my other fave show...
Sharron's Big Broadway Show...
it is the story of how I got to where I am...sad and happy....fun and sometimes...well, come and see for yourself.

I got asked to write a Broadway themed show for myself and so I did it in my way...with a Les Mis Medley that tells you all about the show in 3 minutes...my fateful meeting with Bette Midler....John Travolta...working with Hal Prince....it takes you backstage, to the dressing rooms....audition studios in New York....movie sets....it goes EVERYWHERE!
And I sing songs from "Guys and Dolls", "Title of Show", "Steel Pier", "Hello Dolly", "Wild Party"...so many...and you know how musicals can get you in the Christmas mood....well, this about covers it....oh the fun we will have!
Below is a poster (I changed the show title....this is a bit old timey) and a link to the ticket website!
Come on out!!!

https://secure1.tixhub.com/oakville/procurement/


This may be it for a while people!!!
I would love to see you!
Thanks for reading....thanks for your support...and all the best for the season!

Sharron Matthews Superstar

So, sometimes...I enjoy spending a whole day editing a video....I know, I know....it is geeky....
You know what is amazing? After you watch yourself on video for a while you kind give yourself up to your flaws....perceived and otherwise...sometimes the angle is bad and the joke is good....which thing do you think I go for?
I have to say that this was some of the most fun I have ever had making a vid.
I had not even had the time to watch the Scotland footage yet...FROM THREE months ago...and I am always worried...but George did such a great job....FREEHAND, people!
I enjoyed doing my show for two weeks in Edinburgh.
I learned so very much...and I relaxed into it...there was so many other things to worry about besides the show that the show itself was a rest!
And looking at the fabulous backdrop on the iconic Joe's Pub stage made me cry....and then looking at the SOLD OUT (yes, bitches, SOLD OUT is ALWAYS in caps) show I did at the Young Centre this summer...made me happy....I went all "joss stone" barefoot...and my boobs look huge.
Just being honest.
And then there was the awesome footage from the CD Release this weekend!!!
The audience this weekend was full of people I love, adore and thank for their constant support!
Louise and Joe, Joan Mathers, that crazy Mary Walsh, that pretty Paula Brancati, the producing duo of Derrick Chua and the new associate Dean at Sheridan Michael Rubinoff, my John Austin and the fabulous Chris Lorway (who even came to my show when he was in Edinburgh though he has seen it here one million times), Shawn Hitchens (who is coming the the Ed FRINGE next year!) and his beau Matthew...Peter Phoa, Michael G, Joni and John, Gillian....Ari's Bubie, Francis, my fabulous party Ladies, Shelley, Constance, Sasha and Petra...and Peter, their Designated Driver....Kyle, Sara, Gabi, Kimball, Rob, Joy, Gordon, Eric, Dan, Robyn...so many people...so many friends...oh and Brendan and Gregory came....
And my guests were amazing....James Levesque singing '50 Percent' and Jeigh Madjus belting out 'Firework'...I felt very lucky.
Coming to Buddies is always like coming home.
I love it there....Shawn, Erika, Chrystal, Patricia, Glen, Chris, Michael, Paul...Jazz, who makes us sound so great...and takes care of us.
I was just so thankful for the fabulous year I have had....thankful to have Wayne play and reinvent songs I have been doing for years...making them fresh, new and awesome. Wayne Gwillim is just the awesomest!
Doing this video reminded me of all the fabulous things I have accomplished and experienced this year....and how much I still want to do...I love a good promo...check it out...pass it along!
Have a great day all!
Thanks for reading and for following!
Love
Sharron xoxoxo

15 Songs, Tagging and my effing CD RELEASE

Okay...I am not sure what you call these lists and puzzles that people send you on Facbebook...but I don't usually do them...I remove them...because I just don't wanna be tagged. Yup, I said it. And I hate those fucking farms....

Then someone who NEVER TAGS ANYONE...someone I call Grampa....someone you might know as Steve Ross TAGGED ME WITH THIS!

I was a bit surprised and then I read it....I intrigued...yes, intrigued.

I thought in honour of my upcoming CD Release...did you know that I was doing a CD Release?...I thought in honour of that I would do this thing...and the thing was.....

15 Songs about You

First rule - be honest! Don't keep shuffling forward for "cooler" songs. This is a 'getting to know you' exercise. Once you've been tagged...

(1) Turn on your MP3 player or music player on your computer.

(2) Go to SHUFFLE mode.

(3) Write down the first 15 songs that come up - title and artist. NO editing/cheating, please.

(4) Choose 25 people to be tagged, including me. Because people love being tagged, even if they say they don't.

So, here is what happened on my itunes...after I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to 'shuffle' my list.

1. Just Another Day - Next To Normal Soundtrack....yup, a musical theatre song....I was as surprised as you.

2. Jessie's Girl - Live Cover by Everclear....I found this while looking for ALL the recordings of Jessie's Girl for musical inspiration. Did you read anything about Rick Springfield's biography?...he like the sex...and had plastic surgery by the time he was 23....oh Dr. Noah Drake...how I loved you.

3. Hanging By a Moment- Lifehouse....I do love this tune...I still wanna do it...for the record...ahah the record...I wanna do EVERY song that I love...one day I turned to George with horror in my eyes and he asked me what was wrong....I said, "There are so many songs....how will I sing them all?"

4. Smooth Criminal - cover by Alien Antfarm...I love this song...again...and I love the beat....it drives..and I love the guitar...it "shreds" as the young people say.

5. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Gladys Knight and the Pips....I won't call it a cover, because it feels like that would be wrong...though Marvin Gaye's was wonderful this one has the effing best movement of the two...in my opinion....don't freak out or get mad....it is just my opinion. Sidebar: Did you know that Gladys has a gambling addict and because she and the Pips spent a great deal of time performing in Vegas she gambled away all of her money...and it was so bad that the Pips left her...I saw it on A and E. Sad. But I think she got help.

6. 32 Flavours - Ani DiFranco....OKAY.... I LOVE THIS SONG....Jason Knight taught me about Ani...and one of my tour bus drivers on the Les Miserables tour I did told me that he drove her and her band whenever they were on tour and that she was the nicest person in the world. I love this. More often that not you hear stars are assholes....or witness it firsthand.

7. I Feel Love- Donna Summer....the track that led Donna away from the church and then back again and then, sadly and madly to the controversial and horrible comment she made...."God made Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve" alienating and hurting her biggest and most loyal fans....remember that? It keeps her in my "Unhappy with you" books...but I do love her music. God, this track goes on forever....like a cocaine fueled party.

8. I Make the Dough, You Get the Glory - Kathleen Edwards...I can't remember why I bought this album...going back to look at the songlist...oh ya! I saw her play at the Horseshoe a long time ago and loved her tunes...a bit country but I like and she a Canuck!

Cool lyric alert "You're cool and (a word I can't figure out) like Fogerty, I'm Elvis Presley in the Seventies, I am a Ford Tempo you're a Maserati....."

9. Driftin'- Bricklin Soundtrack by Allen Cole ....this summer my husband went to Theatre New Brunswick to do the Premiere of the musical 'Bricklin' with music written by the fabulous Allen Cole....I didn't get to go out and see it but it got huge national media coverage and I was happy to see it got a big article in the New York Times Auto section...can you fucking take it? Best part was George brought back the Cd at the end of the summer and this was my fave track...sung by George himself playing Premier Richard Hatfield....he is dreamy...George.

10. Just Not Now - Patricia Zentilli and Patti Loach... Oh lord I love this album. Sometimes, when I am home by myself and writing or working I put this CD on and breathe in Patty's gorgeous voice and Patti's lucious piano....and this track is one of my faves. I love me some Patty-i's

11. Fake Your Way to the Top- Dreamgirls- Movie Soundtrack...I LOVE DREAMGIRLS!!! Anyone who knows me knows this fact....and I am torn between this version...because I adore Eddie Murphy and wish he had won the Oscar....and the Bway Soundtrack because it sung by Clevant Derricks, the original James Thunder...who I did a workshop with in Banff....did I mention that I was in Banff this month?

Me and Clevant

12. Crying - Roy Orbison- Holy Crap this guy sings the absolute fuck outta this song. I also love kd's cover of this ....for the record....she sings the fuck outta that as well.

13. You're My Best Friend - Queen...what need I say? Oh, I can say that I thought it was a commercial jingle before I became musically savvy....if I am indeed musically savvy.

14. Sexual Healing- Marvin Gaye....I think this is Marvin from the grave reminding me how fucking cool he is after I dissed his "Grapevine" earlier on this list...do you remember the video....of Marvin and a nurse...this scenario is repeated quite often in porn...I have heard.

15. Memories- Ms. Barbra Streisand....I didn't know that I owned this....where the fuck did this come from...did you see her on Oprah this week? Did you see Robert Redford...he seems like a fucking ass...did you notice how they came back from commercial and he was just gone...I think this song is....I am afraid to say.

So, that is my 15.

If I have tagged you...please forgive me...but I do love this exercise.

I learned a bit about Grampa....fuck, he love the theatre tunes...and a little about myself.

Please come out to my CD release show...it will be a a Party...a EFFING PARTY!....we will have fun!

I rehearsed with the band yesterday...the young Wayne Gwillim and the NEW TO MY SHOWS and fabulous Sly Juhas....his name is SLY! And he could not be cooler, nicer or more inspired.

We are gonna rock the shit!

Don't forget that each night has a SURPRISE GUEST BITCHES!!!

This Friday November 26th and Saturday November 27th @ Buddies in Bad Times. Doors at 7:30pm and Show at 8:00pm....tickets are $20.00 with a $15 Student price. You can call Buddies Tuesday to Saturday between the hours of Noon to 5:00pm.

See you SOON!!!

Oh and here is a link to my PROMO VIDEO for the show starring myself and Wayne Gwillim on keys....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCN4DT4OCSg

Sharron's CD Release TEASER!!!

See you next Friday the 26th or Saturday the 27th at the big CD Release...until then? Wayne and I mix it up....UNPLUGGED!

Lake SHORE?!?!? What the eff????

Oh. my. god.

So, I, like any other pop culture/ reality show lover (judge me if you will, I don’t give a poop) was very interested in the phenom that was “Jersey Shore”...anyone that would nickname themselves “The Situation” must be good for at least a couple watches....okay maybe one. Of course, I found myself a bit intrigued by the small, drunk, orange, boofie haired, potty mouthed Snookie. But it wore out...not for my friend Wayne...but there you go.
I am up early this morn and turn on Aretha (my computer) and there is an article in the paper about a show called “Lake Shore”...my heart begins to be sad...it is about young people, 20 somethings, in Etobicoke...I think...they didn’t really specify WHERE the lakeshore is...maybe it is Clarkson ( I am gonna stop myself from rhyming off all the stops on the GO train).
It seems to be important that they are all of different ethnicities...I got this list from The Star... I have added some of own thoughts in italics....

Sibel Atlug (“The Turk”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Bossy and controversial Quote: “People love to hate me.” (Can’t wait.)

Karolina Czaja (“The Pole”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Self-proclaimed heartbreaker Quote: “My strength is loyalty.” (The first time I read this I thought she had nicknamed herself “The Pope”...I find that the fact that she is loyal and a self proclaimed heartbreaker a bit at odds with each other...non? Girls are so fickle.)

Joey Violin (“The Italian”) Age: 21 Modus operandi: Happy-go-lucky, shies away from conflict Quote: “Number 1 wop, baby. That’s what it’s all about.” ( oh my...his name smells of mobster....doesn’t it....do you think they made it up? I didn’t know there was a number one....what he said...good to know....)

Anni Mei Nguyen (“The Vietnamese”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Sales rep by day and go-go dancer by night Quote: “I’m very animated. I’m very cartoony.” (This is so many things....it is almost....my brain is imploding...it is almost like wanting to be either a brain surgeon or a cheerleader when you grow up....but not. And I love that she seems to think“Cartoony” is a giggly compliment to herself)

Tommy “Hollywood” Lis (“The Czech”) Modus operandi: Serial dater Quote: “Everyday is a Saturday night.” (Who fucking gives themselves a middle name...someone I know went to school with a girl who walked up to them one day and said that she wanted everyone to call her “Crackers”...even got it on a Tshirt...was Rex Smith on the front of that Tshirt...was that girl me? NO!)

Salem Moussallam (“The Lebanese”) Age: 24 Modus operandi: Fashionista Quote: “On my free time, I like to go shopping.” (Bored)

Robyn Perza (“The Jew”) Age: 20 Modus operandi: Loud and blunt Quote: “I’m my own boss.” (Again, bored....loud and blunt are my two favourite things..oh wait....)

Arber Daci (“The Albanian”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Always at the clubs Quote: “I’m always downtown: Friday, Saturday, Thursday maybe, Sunday possibly.” (Oh ya, I met this guy on my vacation in Cuba...he vomitted on the beach and then tried to kiss me and feel my boob....I was 22 at the time, of course...don’t we all know this guy?)

So that is the line up....and this is the kind of TV we can expect.... this “The Turk” person was quoted in The Star as saying....

“I’m not racist because I hate everybody equally. Especially Jewish people,”

Can you still say that?
Could you EVER SAY THAT?
And it is going to be on TV.
I remember watching my first episode of American Gladiator many years ago and thinking “Oh lord, the end of the world is coming.....”
And here we are...
Now, you all know I love my TV...and I love Survivor ... Hoarders ... Say Yes to The Dress....any number of reality shows...so, this is a bit hypocritical, I know...but I do think the low budget, crappier copy of Jersey Shore is a BAD BAD IDEA.
VERY BAD IDEA.
Remember when you could turn on a TV show and know right away if it was Canadian or not?
Well, looking at this picture for the show takes us back about one million years... move over HOBO!



Here are my thoughts....

A: Why are they in their bikinis in a pool? This is freakin’ Toronto....it is cold more than half of the year....not super cold...but not open toed shoe weather for cripes sake. (I think I am gonna work ‘for cripes sake’ back into my life...I love it.)

B: Do you see the girl with her legs around the guys neck...have some self respect, lady.

C: Couldn’t they have found a better font for the titles? There is the freakin’ interweb now....fabulous FONTS FOR EVERYONE!!!! It is like a font from my grade 6 science project about frogs...I had to do a project about frogs because I passed out everytime we dissected them and missed the dissection part. Harsh....but not as HARSH AS THIS FONT!

D: Not that I watched too many episodes....one or two...but it looks like they are trying to re create the ENTIRE Jersey Shore cast...That girl in the upper right corner looks like ‘J Wow’...yes, that is her name...and the girl in the middle with the blue bathing suit looks like shades of Snookie...all the guys look like ‘The Situation’...it is like when they would recast big musicals here in Canada partially based on if you fit the predecessors’ costume and shoes.

E: Who took this picture....my mother? On our old Kodak with the flash that turned when you used it...was that only twenty years ago? Technology is scary....but NOT AS SCARY AS THIS PICTURE.

So, it will be sexist ...racist ...slutty ...stereotypical ...moronic ...and setting an example for our young people.

Wow.
J Wow.
There is an trailer....I hesitate to put the link up...I am walking away and watering my plants and thinking about it.....

Alright...I am gonna put it up...with RESERVATION!!! You will crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSG3LXU60Vc

Oh lord.
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

Can you fucking believe it....it is American Gladiator all over again.

If I say Banff one more time...and Bump it.

Dear All,

My husband is very sweet....he is so sweet that He listens to every inane story that I have to tell over and over and just smiles and gives me a hug....I imagine he is rolling his eyes indulgently in his mind...he always seems interested.

BUT...I think if he hears me say "You know what happened in Banff?" one more time he might murder me.

He has never expressed that this phrase was a problem...but I have said it one million times and today I told him a story and he said, "Did that happen in Banff?"...now I don't think he was making fun of me...he is such a good man...but I wonder....

Oh, before I get any farther in this story I want you all to know that I went to Staples today to get my flyers printed...WORLD DOMINATION Week 44 BITCHES!!!...and I walked by the "As Seen On TV" section...and I saw the thing some call the "Bump it".

It is a contraption that makes you look like you have high hair, Jersey hair....Snookie hair...I have long watched the TV commercial and I gotta tell you...I was intrigued.

I could not help myself

I bought one.

What the eff...I wonder if it will work...STAY TUNED.

BANFF!!!

Ah yes....what an amazing place....my god...the first day I was so overstimulated by the surrounding mountains that I almost had an anxiety attack...but I LOVE the view....

And this was the view out of the rehearsal hall window....

How the fuck did we get anything done??? How??? I ask you!

The cast was fantastic...a great mix of Canadians and Americans....and that hack Adam Brazier.

Patty Jamieson and I climbed and walked all over that freakin' place...then there was that deer outside our window...who when I waved at him ( yes, I waved) he laid down....

Absolutely NO sense of self preservation, what so ever.

The Banff Centre was a joy....so effing gorgeous...every artist in Canada should get the chance to work there. Thanks to Kelly Robinson for bringing me out!

Now, here is my fave part....besides the fabulous show...Innocence, written by the fabulous British team of Alasdair Middleton and Jonathan Dove...some of the hardest stuff I have had the pleasure to try and master...there was one day that I screwed it up so badly in front of Jonathan that I mouthed "I am sorry" in the middle of the scene. They were such great guys!

My fave part....besides the fun I had with one Rachel Neuberger and one Patty Jamieson...that girl knows how to have fun!!!

My FAVE THING....meeting and working and eating with fantastic Liz Ward, John Cunin and Beth McVey...OH.and the young Jade Padua....

THAT DICK BINSLEY IS AWESOME!

Okay my fave part...besides the wine I drank....like a sailor....and the fun I shared with one Arbender and one Carly...those two know how to make a Canadian gal laugh...and then pull out all her best bits....

ALRIGHT!

Here is my fave part!

When I was 14 ( bear with me) I sat in front of my television and watched the Tony awards.

I watched Angela Landsbury introduce Dreamgirls...then I watched her sing "I am Tell You"...and was obsessed...I bought the RECORD!!! THE L freaking P.

And listened to it OBSESSIVELY!

My fave part of THAT? One James Thunder Early...as played by Tony Winner Clevant Derricks.

He stole that album....and when I saw the show on tour and he wasn't in it...DISAPPOINTED.

I have all of his ism's and vocals from that record in my brainstem.

So, first day of rehearsal of Innocence, in walks this guy...he says hi to everyone...and I freak out inside.

Patty asks me if I am alright.

I say yes.

It is him.

Clevant Derricks.

Two time Tony winner...he was in freakin' Moscow on the Hudson....and so many other things...but when he started singing I almost cried.

He is the lovliest of gentlemen.

Just the loveliest.

There was a moment that I was sitting offstage and a young man, one Arbender, started to sing his solo and it was so gorgeous and I looked out the window and there were mountains...and I turned and there was Clevant sitting beside me smiling...and I did cry...a little.

I felt the magic of theatre.

Anything is possible.

It is such a gift that I get to be a part of it.

I KNOW!

It sounds GAYLORDY!!!

But it is true...thanks universe.

Clevant Derricks and me.

OH YA!!!

So, I have my CD release in just over two weeks!!!

I am very excited!

It features some of fave pieces....I just said pieces...all fancy.

It is gonna be all old school...and new school!

I have some shit to talk with all of you about...I have missed you...I have missed Buddies!

It feels like forever!

Come and celebrate this CD with me...and we'll talk ....if you have specific questions you would like answered or things you would like to chat about send me an email and I will do my best to work it into the show!!!

Friday November 26th and Saturday November 27th @ Buddies in Bad Times at 8:00pm doors at 7:30pm.

Call Buddies Box Office at #416 975 8555 from Tuesday to Saturday (Noon to 5:00pm) or go the Box office at 12 Alexander Street and pick them tickets up!!!

WE are gonna pack this shit out!!!

Also, Georgie...my sweet George has a show this Friday night (the 12th) of his fantastic baritone Trio Bravura (fancy!) at the Rosedale Presbyterian Church 129 Mount Pleasant Road at South Drive...it is really amazing to hear these guys sing together!

So, how is that for an eff load of info?!?!?!

I await your emails!