Naked, Pinsent and Paula has a HUGE family!

Okay.
So that is Gordon Pinsent.
Really.
He is, with all due respect to my very handsome, dashing husband, quite dreamy.
I am so glad that no one told me he was at the show because I promptly would have pooped my pants.
The lady in the pic beside him is Diane Dupuy, the creator of Famous People Players and beside her...her mom.
It is nice to meet the fancy people.
After the picture taking we went to get changed and Mary and I spoke about some plans that we had earlier to go to the Strip Spelling Bee at Buddies in Bad Times Theatre....I haven't been there in ALL TOO LONG!!!
Andrea came out of the bathroom and asked why she wasn't invited...for the record, I was sure I invited everyone!!!
She wanted to come...I am not going to lie to you...I could not believe that I was going to bring these ladies to Strip Spelling Bee.
When we went out front we met Paula's family...let me say here...Paula is Italian...her family is HUGE!!! FREAKING HUGE!!! SO HUGE!!!
And so very nice.
Anyhow, we went to Buddies and we were fawned over by the staff...of course, you get the best treatment there...and proceeded to watch very shy people misspell words that sounded like that name of that volcano in Iceland that irrupted and then the bell would sound on the wrong word...and then the music would start...and they would have to take off one third of their clothes.
Surreal...and SO funny and entertaining.
There was a girl who started to spell a word and then said...."Fuck it, I came here to take off my clothes." and then did so.
We laughed.
Oh how we laughed...
Did you know that the box office at Buddies is open at noon TODAY, Saturday?
And it is open till 5:00pm?
Well, if you felt like giving them a call and helping me reach my goal of $30,000.00 for my tour....I am $20.00 away from $25,000.00....
You could call them...
#416 975 8555.
Best!
Have a Great day!
And if you feel like it we have TWO SHOWS TODAY!!!

Sharron's Oprah Aha moment...they were Spanx involved.

2:47am July 30th

I have been up so late all week.
It is like I am in college again...but the bounce back isn’t nearly as good.
Remember when you could drink like...4 drinks...Long Island Iced Tea or otherwise... and be fine if you slept a bit late?
Now, if I have a wine spritzer and stay up till 1:00am I feel like a 80 year old smoker till I lay down for a nap....A NAP... at 5:00pm the next day.
But tonight I have a different reason.
No drinks...just a bit of a frustration.
I have argued back and forth about writing my thoughts down because I endevour to remain EVER positive about this project.
But I have hit a wall and I feel the need to share.
Me, share? Imagine.
I just want to keep what I am doing on the up and up in the truth area...and to convey that it ain’t all roses and glamour....oh, sometimes it is...don’t get too sad...but there are definite....challenges.
Though I joke, though the title of my tour suggests a great deal of hubris, and though, in my work I tend to swear some and tell a dirty story or two, wear fancy dresses, put in a hair piece or two and gesture to my breasts more than is appropriate...I take what I do very seriously.
“Serious as a heart attack” as I said to Mary Walsh earlier this week...and I COULD NOT have been happier that it made her laugh. NOT HAPPIER!
But, I have learned during this VERY CHALLENGING (I decided to say challenging in the place of hard...I began this practice about 14 years ago...it seems to work....it seems to keep me from moaning and complaining at least half of the time) period of fund raising that some might not...take my work seriously as I do, that is.
And it worries, saddens and frustrates me.

I know...boo hoo for me.

I am taking into account that there are some people that just don’t like or understand what I do.
That is just the way it is.
But, again, I constantly remind myself via the cards and emails that I have kept from people that there are hundreds of people who have been incredibly supportive, who have jumped to help me, who have contributed monetarily, emotionally and in spirit.
Most I know and some I don’t.
I have been very lucky to have this support and I do not take it for granted.
But I gotta tell you....
Being an independent artist in this country can truly suck ass.
Being an independent artist who sings and/or does comedy in this country sucks bigger ass.
And being an independent artist in this country who sings and/or does comedy and wants to produce their own work....well, I don’t think there is an ass big enough to convey the sucking.
Now, I am sure there are some other things in this country that one can try to do that puts one in the postition of feeling like their lot ALSO sucks ass...but I can only speak from my own experience.

Here is the crux of it all....

We are not encouraging entrepreneurialism here in Canada in the arts.

This is the whole reason I am writing this...I was pulling on my spanx for the show tonight and thinking about it all...and that was the sentence that just socked me in the spanx.

Most funding government and otherwise goes to arts companies.

Independent artists and producers are a bit effed when it comes to funding.

And trying to get my funny, sing-ie, cabaret hands on this funding has been like water through my fingers.

To try and get the contact info for a Charitable Arts Foundation as an independent artist....you think I was asking for the Cadbury secret...which is worth a lot of money, I understand.

Some who I have asked for this info have said “These people only donate to charities....” and when I tell them that I have a charitable trustee for my project there is a moment of silence. (You can hear a moment of silence on the internet, too. I swear)

Then I get a bit of the “How is it your work worthy of this kind of charitable support...”. Which aren’t their actual words but that is the gist.
Then I begin to justify my work.
No biggie...I am used to it....it just makes me sigh.

Again...boo hoo for me.

I have only gotten to speak to some foundations on the phone because I pretend to be my assistant, Cassie.
Of course, most of you know who Cassie is...
But for those who don’t ....

She is super smart.

I do believe, from deep in my heart, that what I am doing encourages people young and old to make their own work.

Here is what my dear young friend Kyle Golemba, a cabaret performer, self starter and member of the Stratford Festival company said in the newspaper last week...


“There are definitely many paths as to what cabaret is,” says the enthusiastic Golemba. “For me, it will always mean Sharron Matthews, because seeing her in Sharron’s Party at its height gave me the inspiration and courage to go and do it myself."

I cried and cried and taped it to my desk.

This is the place where I would like to that BMO who stepped up RIGHT AWAY to be my only Corporate Sponsor!!!!

I have raised $425.00 in the last couple days...which is awesome.
OH and EVERYTHING, as of yesterday when I sent off my last wire to my PR person in Scotland, is PAID FOR!!!
But having incurred some more expenses....such as a cellphone in Edinburgh ( you have to have a local number) , travel insurance for all three of us... the total that I still need is
$5146.06

I still believe that I can do this...I work like a dog on it everyday from about 9:00am till 3:00am...leaving out time for the Love Loss show...which is my fabulous zen time.

I still need and angel or MANY ANGELS!!
Do you have $25.00 or more?
You will get a tax receipt!
Please give this video a watch or a rewatch...the Box Office at Buddies #416 975 8555 is Open from 12:00pm till 5:00pm today and tomorrow...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa4CsiOyguQ

And as a suggestion from my friend Kathy...I am listing most of my costs in Scotland so you know where the money is going....this is a budget for three people...


3 Plane Tickets from TO to Edinburgh $3321.61
Ground Costs in Edinburgh $ 80.00
Accomidation $4753.62 (You have to rent for the whole month)
Food for 3 Weeks for 3 People $3000.00 (50 bucks a day/person plus $150 xtra)
Marketing (posters and flyers) $ 318.98
Advertising Fee (programme) $1334.00
Venue Cost (Surgeons Hall) $2530.19
Piano Rental $ 507.60
Insurance $ 207.47
Travel Insurance $ 120.00
Phone $ 100.00
Edinburgh PR (Flying Monkey) $1783.15
Fringe Registration Fee $432.31


I think that I will start a fund next year for independent artists who have projects they want to fund.

I just worry that we aren't encouraging the next Ruth Draper, Bette Mider, Lilly Tomlin, Carol Burnett or Barbra Streisand....I know there are dudes too...but I am concentrating on the chicks...

I worry...

HOLY CRAP!!! I am two weeks from the Ed Fringe and Love Loss Continues to make me love my life.

HOLY Crap....I have never worked so effing hard in my life...
Yes, people, my fingers fly across the keyboard at lightening speed...take that, Miss Pugh...(she was my bitchy 10th grade Typing teacher...yes, I had a typing teacher...and she informed me that I would never make a good secretary...I BEG TO DIFFER!!!) and I write letters and answer emails....
There are a lot of final touches to put on my Edinburgh tour but, basically, we are done...it is just the small work...like getting a phone internationally...what a freakin' pain in my ass that is.
Wow.
I am in a bit of a mood.
What got me OUT of this very mood yesterday was, without a word of a lordy lie, going to do the show twice.
Those ladies just make my day.
They really do.
There is nothing like sitting around before the show in curlers and chatting about the fine arts of lingerie selection and joke telling to clear your head...and without being too indelicate...wait! Is that too indelicate, Sharron?....oh, maybe I will just leave that alone.
Yesterday, during the show, I looked at Mary Walsh and saw that she had one tiny pin curl at the back of her head...I was obsessed with it for the whole time.
There are things in the show that make me laugh and think, imagine...and I wish we could take a second right then and there to chat about it ...but, as you might imagine...it is the wrong time!
Every time Louise says "Champagne and Wedding Cake" I salivate.
Whenever Paula talks about boots I think of how it is a totally crappy that I and my thick calved sisters in the world have no access to a great boot with a wide calf. SHUT OUT!!!
Whenever Andrea does her East Indian accent I think about how she played Apu's mother on the Simpsons.
And when we get to the Bra Section I wonder if Mary is gonna...I can't even say it...
But she hasn't yet.
Just for the record.
She HAS AMAZING CONTROL.
I love these women.
I really do...watching them work their stories is the high point of my day.
The 'Women Fully Clothed" came last night (Robin Duke, Kathryn Greenwood and Teresa Pavlinek) and I am so glad I didn't know...I would have been a mass of nerves. And Libby Znaimer way there too!
I had to restrain myself from asking if she could find out if her dad got my sponsorship package.
And I sit, with my huge dogs, and continue to raise money...
There was a flow that began yesterday...Dawn gave me a $50.00 THANK YOU DAWN!!! And a bunch of people called BUDDIES!!
I will only know how much I received whey I go to pick up a cheque from them today.
But I do need more my friends!!!
I really do!
Check out my video , the link is....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oa4CsiOyguQ
It is my fastest climber in hits I have EVER had ...I think it is the puppies and the Fashion Crimes Dresses!!!
Check it out!!
Can you Help me?
Have a great day EVERY ONE!!!

This is a picture of my George in front of Duart Castle in Scotland....just for a smile...isn't he handsome?
Oh and scroll down a post for ALL donation information!

Sharron Matthews Superstar: World Domination Tour 2010 still needs your help! TWO WEEKS AWAY!

PLEASE WATCH MY VIDEO!!!
I WAS UP TILL 5:00am edtting it....because I am Scorcese and all!!!
I promise it will give you at least one laugh...or money back.






To donate you can either call Buddies in Bad Times Theatre ( my charitable trustee) at #416 975 8555 during box office hours (noon to 5:00pm, Tuesday to Saturday) and donate by Credit Card ( Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can go there (address below) during box office hours and donate by cash, debit or credit in person (again, Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can mail a cheque to
Buddies in Bad Times Theatre
12 ALEXANDER ST
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1B4
*Please make the cheque out to Buddies in Bad Times with Sharron Matthew Superstar in the memo line, and we will promptly send a tax receipt.*

LOVE LOSS, Beavers, Terseness and NAKED!!!

I am in bed.
Yes, I am still in bed.
I am gonna share a truth with you.
If I invite my two monster dogs up on the bed....I can get two more hours sleep outta them.
Does that make me a bad person?
Anyhow, all is quiet here in the Matthews/Masswohl home though I am working my ass off.
It is my first of two days off from the awesomeness that is “Love Loss And What I Wore”. We opened this week with fabulous reviews (4 out of 4 stars from the Toronto Star). The Sun, The Globe and The Eye all had great things to say about it as well!! It was happiness!
As I was standing in the wardrobe and wig room yesterday drying my hair (Louise and I got caught in the effing effing effing rain) talking to Paula, Wayne and Dawn...while yelling something through the door to Mary and Louise across the hall...it hit me...this is almost a sorority house. Paula and Mary both brought shopping purchases in and we judged them (Now, that looks great on your ass! HOW MUCH?) we make sure each others hair is good before we walk onstage....and when our dear assistant stage manager, AJ, calls “Places, ladies, time to start the show!”...this is what happens....“I gotta pee, I gotta eat this piece of chocolate, I gotta finish my sentence, What did you say?, I haven’t got my shoes on, Who do you know who is coming? ...” In other words AJ has a big challenge getting us out of that dressing room.
The shows were great yesterday. I had a couple highschool friends at the matinee. One in the front row...but she was a great audience member so no hard feelings!
Before the night show there was a moment in the dressing room where Andrea was telling us about a beaver in her front yard...yes, you read right...and she began to imitate the beaver with 10 curlers in her hair...I peed a bit...I think she is gonna work the bit into her Huntsville show in August! Do you know Andrea Martin is doing her one woman show in Huntsville in AUGUST!?!?! Run don’t walk.
I am also going to get her on Facebook and Twitter tomorrow....yup...it is a mission.
So, I am working on all of the last minute details for Edinburgh which is 16 days...holy freaking effing crap....away!
There are so many things to do....and I still need about $4900.00...I am still looking for an angel...I believe, people I do...that there is one out there!!!
I am putting the donor info up again!!!
Just in case you missed it.... ;-)...there is a crazy emoticon.

Here is donor info, just in case you feel moved to join the ‘Sharron Matthews Superstar: World Domination Tour 2010 ARMY!!!’

To donate you can either call Buddies in Bad Times Theatre ( my charitable trustee) at #416 975 8555 during box office hours (noon to 5:00pm, Tuesday to Saturday) and donate by Credit Card ( Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can go there (address below) during box office hours and donate by cash, debit or credit in person (again, Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can mail a cheque to
Buddies in Bad Times Theatre
12 ALEXANDER ST
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1B4
*Please make the cheque out to Buddies in Bad Times with Sharron Matthew Superstar in the memo line, and we will promptly send a tax receipt.*

So, I am presently applying to places that have open mikes and showcase opportunities at the Edinburgh Fringe...because I will do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to sell my show...I mean it people.
But the challenge is, of course, vetting ( I love that word, it is fancy) all the opportunites so I don’t end up in a cow field singing a Britney Spears tune.
Though that might be interesting and a photo opportunity....if I sang to cows...wait a minute, I have to call my publicist.
I am back.
Okay!
So I have sent a number of emails...and sometimes...because I am tired...I am not really reading them too closely.
But my co producer has sent me this list so I TRUST HIM.
I woke up to an email in my inbox first thing... “Dear Sharron, We would love to have you be a part of our showcase! Due to the nature of the show we would like to make sure to make sure you read the description thouroughly.”
And here is the description....

“ A celebration of collaboration, the human form and artists brave and bold. Looking for a diverse range of talent -musicians,poets,comedians,circus + visual and installation artists. Please do not hesitate to contact us. Open to all ideas. Must be willing to perform naked to a naked audience."

Huh.
Yes, I thought about it...I did...I really did.
And then I thought....NO EFFING WAY IN HELL!!!
I am going to meet with my co producer Derrick this aft...on the upside...I guess he will also do almost ANYTHING to sell tickets...I bet my pianist Wayne would have loved doing it.

And lastly, wow....I am long winded today...I got shit to do, man....but I want to tell you this!
In my last blog I criticized the acting on a Reality show called “DC Cupcakes” I received a message from a long ago aquaintance (FACEBOOK is weird that way) who was a bit irrate that I had maligned the ladies who are on the show by calling them bad actresses. (Which they are...they really are...don’t take my word for it...watch the freaking show just once) But they are bakers who have got an effing TV show so I am sure they do not give a doodle what I think...but I digress. The message was very terse and inferred ( I am guessing here as it is hard to tell intent on the interweb) that as an “real actress” ( I actually thank the person for calling me that because I constantly think I am faking it) I didn’t have a right to call a baker a bad actress...or that it was in poor taste. (bakers, poor taste....ug....I slay me).
I tried to make light of the comment and give the person the benefit of the doubt that they might be joking.
It soon became clear that they were not...after a number of back and forths...each one from them terser ( is that a word) a little more highhanded than the one before. Comparisons were made to Cake Boss and other reality TV ...it all struck me as quite strange and not a bit surreal.
I felt the need to keep responding though...even though I had to break from whatever work I was doing...I kept asking myself.. “Is this worth it?” and I kept answering “Apparently, yes.”
In each of my responses I tried to be a bit funny to take the edge off but I still stuck to my guns (this person and I had not had a bad relationship, so I was a bit confused) but they wrote in the end that...and I paraphrase....for reasons I will share in a moment...

"I would be shocked if, as bakers, they were good at delivering dialogue. (Cake Boss). Sure the scripted parts are obvious but nobody watches reality TV because the acting is brilliant. I am just always surprised when real actors criticize non-actors for being bad actors.

I then realized that while I might be giving this person the benefit of the doubt they didn’t seem to be giving me one at all.
I also thought about how it hurts when people critize me and all...but then I remembered that IT IS A SHOW ABOUT CUPCAKES and these ladies probably do not care what the eff I think!!
Let it be said here that my friend Hubert wrote me and told me that he has travelled to DC JUST to get some of their cupcakes...okay...he was there already to visit friends...but he says that they are very good.

Now, here was my final response....

“Wow, this started out as a lighthearted rant on my blog. But, I have found, a gal cannot blog and expect people to not react or comment. People like to send me their opinions and I try to respond the best way I can. It feels strange... and quite surreal to assert my view over this subject, such as it is. But, here I go. I actually think they are great on Cake Boss...I think they get a real slice of life on the show which is why people watch reality TV, I think. I think that the situations they set up are very funny and they people on the show are great and endearing . That is why the DC show seems so contrived in comparison....but it ain't art...and I don't think that anyone would say it is. Sadly, happily or otherwise, when one is given dialogue to say and they are in front of a camera in a situation that is staged...I think that they are an actor of some sort. But that is me.
I also think it is pretty funny that this rebuttal is all about shows called Cake Boss and DC Cupcakes...on TLC!
I think many would agree that the show contains "not the best acting"...if they were a real actor or otherwise.
But, again, this is my opinion.
LET US ALL WATCH 'SAY YES TO THE DRESS'!!!”

Then, in moments, all but one of their comments disappeared....I decided to delete them all...and then after a moment ( I am trying to destress and get the bullshit out of my life) I then defriended this person.
I have no idea why the terseness....I had always enjoyed this person.
But....
UG!
LIFE IS TOO SHORT!!!
IT IS A SHOW ABOUT CUPCAKES!!!!

AND JUST to make you smile after all that kerfuffle....her is one of my supporter s and friends...IAN EPSTEIN!!!
I can't figure out how to make it straight on but you get the picture...THE PICTURE!!!
OH FOR GOD SAKES, Sharron.... I SLAY ME!!!

Cupcakes, Flies, SYTYCD and Etalk!

So, I have actually found the time after the show to watch a bit of the TV....SYTYCD....OH MY GOD....I have got to tell you....Paula, Andrea and I are SYTYCD freaks....do you know that those letters stand for? DO YOU? So You Think You Can Dance, bitches.
I love that I have someone to talk with the show about who doesn't judge my level of intelligence.
SO GOOD!!!
Anyway, in the dressing room the last couple of days the three of us have been talking about how all the injuries on the show are scaring us...we also talked about how NO ONES PVR taped the performance episode this week...I just about died...but Paula taught us where to go to watch it on the interweb.
Mary and Louise look on with disbelief as we chatter like the effing Pick a Little Ladies from the fricken Music Man.
Oh yes...now everyone at the theatre is afraid to share ANYTHING with me because of my blog....and yet when I didn't write anything yesterday I got shit from Rubinoff, our producer...I am trying to not over do it and leave people wanting more....I have got a LIFE TO LEAD, MICHAEL!!!
Anyhoops, every conversation that I have either begins or ends with "You can't put this on the blog." I am not Hedda Hopper for shitsakes.
I will share that every one of us ate at least ONE cupcake right after the "curtain came down" on opening night...and we ate like there wasn't going to be any food left in the world.
Today we all met at the old MuchMusic building, 299 Queen, to do an interview for ETALK...all the ladies looked so pretty...they wanted us to bring a piece of clothing or jewelery that meant something to us and talk about it ...hard for Mary who is away from home...Andrea brought her spanks...I wore my Grama's locket and Louise wore a dress she wore on a trip to Spain...when she was 16!!! 16!!! And it still fits and looks beautiful...I mean, jesus wept.
The poor producer who was interviewing us couldn't get a word in edgewise.
We had a great house tonight...one lady in particular who had the best laugh...in the second row.
I love looking at all the girlfriends who have gotten their group together to come to the show...there is nothing like a group of chicks...they love hard and hold a grudge until the world ceases to spin.
We are interesting creatures.
Four thoughts and things to end off.....
1. There is a TV show on TLC called "DC Cupcakes"...it is on right after "Say Yes To The Dress" (LOVE SAY YES!!!!) and the women who run the cupcake shop remind of the characters that Ana Gasteyer and Molly Shannon played on Delicious Dish...do you know what I mean? These women make me wanna slap them...I cannot help it.
2. While walking the dogs tonight a huge stretch Hummer went by with a girl hanging out the window screaming out "It's My Birthday!"...do you think her girlfriend is holding her hair as we speak, while she throws up in a bathroom?
3. Mary Walsh, on opening night, told me while I was in the limo twittering that "You can either be with your phone or here with me..." I chose Mary....but my phone was very sad.
4. There is still a fly that will not EFFING LEAVE US ALONE onstage...I hate it I hate it I hate it
OH! And hello to Dawn and Wayne who take care of us backstage....they mentioned that they felt a little put out that I had not written about them...WELL HELLO YOU TWO!!! See you in about 12 hours.

Opening, Mystery Donation and Sleep over!!! WORLD DOMINATION !!!

I woke this morning with a 120 pound dog in my bed and Louise and Joe on my couch.
How in the eff???
Yesterday was great...all roller-coaster emotions... “what to wear?” thoughts...the standard opening day “hope I don’t humiliate myself” freak out accompanied by an upset stomach. Everything on track.
We had a small but mighty audience of people for the matinee...but after my Victor Garber freak out it was for the best...
I forgot to tell you all that I have gotten a lot of new followers on twitter!! Thanks you guys! I will do my best to make the “World Domination Tour” interesting to read about! It has already been a bit of a panic so far so ones hopes are up!!!
I also got a couple lovely letters that were sent to me through my website http://www.sharronmatthews.com/ (see what I did there? I am a media whore)
This one was from a lovely lady named Amanda....

“After discovering your blog I felt compelled to write. My boyfriend and I were in the fourth row for the opening night of "Love Loss" and absolutely loved it. You were all brilliant... ( Amanda says something nice here about me that I think would be just bragging on my part and I endeavor to remain as ego free....as I can.) I then googled you (apologies for the ignorance) and discovered your blog, to which I'm now addicted. I'm also going back over my life in clothing terms (having not had a marriage, divorce, birth or major operation to refer to), and am wondering what the hell I wore before the age of 20 apart from a school uniform!!

Thanks for a great show and blog. I look forward to reading about the rest of the run (although I feel like I'm missing out by not being there for every performance).

Amanda”

Thanks be to YOU Amanda!!

After the matinee I received about one million emails (I know...I exaggerate...we all know this by now) about various things...but there were a number asking for the donation info for my tour...one from Cody...he is in ‘Rock of Ages’...he had a merchandising suggestion....

“Also..."Sharron Matthews World Domination Tour" Jock Straps? too much? or should I say too little?”

Interesting thought, thank you Cody!!!
I also received and anonymous donation for $500.00 yesterday....with a lovely, very personal message attached.
You know who you are, and I thank you.
I love a mystery.

I only need...$4923.00!!!
I can do this!!!
Here is donor info, just in case you feel moved to join the ‘Sharron Matthews Superstar: World Domination Tour 2010 ARMY!!!’

To donate you can either call Buddies in Bad Times Theatre ( my charitable trustee) at #416 975 8555 during box office hours (noon to 5:00pm, Tuesday to Saturday) and donate by Credit Card ( Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can go there (address below) during box office hours and donate by cash, debit or credit in person (again, Telling the person you speak to that it is for Sharron Matthews Superstar) OR you can mail a cheque to
Buddies in Bad Times Theatre
12 ALEXANDER ST
Toronto, Ontario M4Y 1B4
*Please make the cheque out to Buddies in Bad Times with Sharron Matthew Superstar in the memo line, and we will promptly send a tax receipt.*

I would appreciate any help I can get!!!

After a very quick (sorry big and little dog) visit home and an outfit grab I was back at the theatre and getting ready for the opening...there were flowers and presents...and excitement...and an achy tummy...and nerves that the audience would hate me...oh lord...artists are messy.

Michael Rubinoff gave a very moving heartfelt speech to us...all in our curlers and flip flops...before the show...I have never heard anything like it.
WTG.

It was amazing.
I looked into the house and there were all my people....my Shelley (with a glass of champagne in her hand) , Sasha, Susan, Peter, Nada, Grant, Sara, Michael...so many friendly faces...it was a great show, we thought.
A solid show.

And then we got changed...I am going fast here to get through it all...and got into a limo...which is, oddly, never graceful...and went to the party.

Pictures.

This is me and Hubert...our social media MAN!!!

Speeches.
Champagne.
Faces on Cakes!!!

Holy crap my face is on that cake...if that ain’t World Domination I don’t know what is.
I had a couple glassed of wine...when I heard myself talking to people and beginning my sentences with “ I just wanna say....” I knew that I had drank enough and it was time to go home.
For the record here...I just want to say...Paula Brancati’s parents are so good looking almost passed out.
I was, of course, one of the last to leave...Rubinoff wanted to go for chinese...but this gal has gotta walk her dogs...so Sara, Michael and I stumbled to Pizza Pizza...classy...and had a slice.
Then I got in walked the dogs and was peaceful...ahh...a job done!
At 1:30am my cell rang...it was Joe Matheson...Louise’s husband...they had locked themselves out of their house...could they sleep on the couch.
There they were in their party wear...at the door...the dogs were so happy to see them...Joe and Louise are the only other people that can walk our monster dogs...that they all love each other...
I do love a sleep over.
It was with a vision of Joe and Louise lying foot to foot on my couch (I offered my bed but they would have none of it) that I laughed myself to sleep...and I guess I invited to big dog on the bed...at some point.
What a freakin’ night.
And we got for effing stars in the Toronto Star.
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment/theatre/article/838752--love-loss-and-what-i-wore-awesome-women-funny-stories
Yeah!
WE miss Karen Carpenter already.
The only thing missing.
George.

Amost opening! Victor Garber! Paula and I switch characters...so many things.

Holy effing day.
At the risk of sounding...this is for my friend and director Karen Carpenter...lordy...this is one of the best years of my life.
I read that line back and almost got rid of it...because it does sound truly lordy...but it is true...
MY whole “World Domination 2010” started as a tongue in cheek title with a very hopeful intent.
It is July....and in the last 7 months I have raised $24,000.00 dollars so far for my Toronto/New York/Edinburgh tour, enjoyed amazing support; both financial, emotional and spiritual, from countless friends and acquaintances, I went to New York and experienced an amazing week of promotion, education and cabaret and then did my New York debut at Joe’s Pub, I have hosted amazing and fun events, sung at openings and special occasions...and others have seemed to also get caught up with the whole idea and are celebrating it as well...and that is just what I can remember right now at midnight!!
And in 3 weeks I go to Edinburgh...
BUT before then I have been handed this gift...I know I have gone on about it on my blog...but ‘Love Loss and What I Wore’ is one of the best experiences I have ever had.
It really is.
Oh, I gush and I have not even had a drink.
Today we had our last rehearsal with our amazing director Karen Carpenter...I will miss her very much...and I have not said this in....GOD...years...I will miss rehearsing...that just made me pass out.
There is one scene that has been bothering her (Karen) between Paula and I...so, in the spirit of the show and the rehearsal time...we switched characters.
OH.
That made me poop my pants tonight.
Before the show, in our dressing room...yes, we all share a dressing room, we were talking about actors and celebrities who you idolize and then you meet them and you find out they are...how you say...not all you hoped.
And I said to Andrea, “Oh, your friend Victor Garber! He is someone I always admired and when I met him on the Music Man set he was such a LOVELY man!”
Andrea says, “He is probably coming to the show...do you wanna know when he is coming?”
Me say, “NO!!!”
So, we do our Rock and Roll entrance...which is very cool...and the first person I see?
Victor Garber.
And then I see Andrea’s sister waving like mad at her.

Awesome
So, I proceed to shit my pants.
It was a challenging show...it was very live...and I was a bit mumble mouthed...I was very nervous...did I mention that?
As we got closer to the scene that we had switched I began to poop more and more...not really...just figuratively...I think I need to clarify that...the scene in question was at the end of the show...of course.
It went so well.
It could not have gone better.
Paula is such a lovely actress...I am lucky to be acting with her!
Thank you Karen!
When the show was over the producer, Michael Rubinoff, asked us to stay around and get pics with Victor and Marilyn Dennis who was there...they were so kind...both of them...so was Andrea’s sister Marcia and her friends...they loved it.
They really did.
Victor was so kind that I actually cried a bit.
I am such a lord.
I truly have “What the eff am I doing here and how did I get here moments every day!!”
Chatting with Mary and watching her work a story, seeing Andrea talk to Karen and work out a laugh, watching Louise draw herself for all to see, doing a scene with Paula....man.
Thank you to the UNIVERSE!!!
Tomorrow night is opening!
I am sure I will be nervous...but I can’t wait...I really can’t wait.

The only thing missing?
Georgie.

Day off...WHERE THE EFF WERE YOU and I look like and asshole.

I didn't sleep till 4:00am and then I was up at 9:00am to go and get my new natural hair colour rootified. It is my hair colour. I bought it....it is mine.
That is the way to begin a day off! It was great to see my hair Guru, Bill....for many reasons...he is funny, he is handsome, he tells a good joke...he won't give me bangs no matter how hard I ask...that is a sad part actually...he also saw the show on Sunday night so I made him tell me all the parts he liked best...I sure he was exhausted by me...but he humours me.
Then back home to pick up the big dog and off we went to the vet...the little dog was more than a little upset because they are never apart.
Walking the big dog without the little dog is like having a compass where the true north is effed up.
Basically he walks like he is drunk and has ADD.
And I look like an asshole.
When we got to the door of the vet he remembered where we were and he laid down all of his 120 pounds and dug in.
It took my nurse friend and I a while to get him in and on the scale...the scale part I can understand...who wants that? I told him I wouldn't tell anyone and he sat down on it but left his right ass off the scale...like mother like puppy.
Then he began to drool whatever it is that his body manufacters. It is a liquid that flows out of his jowls...it is like something you could have fixed the Titanic with...if it gets on your clothes...forget it...change your outfit.
And he begins to cry...breaks you heart.
When he is nervous he sits down and slides back into George and myself...and since George wasn't there...There I sat with my legs in the air...he had backed into them...and whenever I tired to put them on the floor he backed in farther.
See...look like an asshole.
But if it makes him feel better...
Then they call his name...OH just before they called his name a very serious vet came out staring at a chart and then looked around intently around the waiting room and said "Fluffy"...for some reason that cracked me up....so they called Tyson's name and I walked to the vet holding Tyson's chart...and Tyson walks...out the door of the clinic...just turned and put his two big paws in the air and leaned...that was all it took.
When we finally got him in the room I was covered in hair and drool and he had broken one of my flip flops.
So, they took him in the back and gave him a local...can you IMAGINE if they put that big dog under and took care of him...two people had to hug him really hard...but they took are of him.
Now I have 2 bottles of millions of pills and Tyson has a limp and a pink bandage...they thought he could pull it off.

I didn't cut off his head on purpose...this was a picture of his sweet monster feet...yes...I have one thousand pictures of these dogs...like this one...

He is lying on her and she is trying not to kill him.
So, that took up a good deal of the day as well as Fundraising for the trip to Edinburgh!!For those of you just joining the "Sharron Matthews Superstar:World Domination Tour Train" check out www.sharronmatthews.com for tour details...or check out this video and it will tell you all you need to know!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04MUh3OgC3E
I have raised $24,000.00 on my own!! I am only just under $5500.00 away and I DO believe that I can do this in the next three weeks!!
Do you have an extra $25.00?
Email me at me@sharronmatthews.com and I will tell you how to get it to me!
I sent off to some fancy foundations last week...I am casting my net WIDE!!!
I was running around the city like a ....I am too sleepy still to come up with an analogy. I was running to the bank....running donation cheques to Buddies...because I got some cheques after the shows last week...thank you again Liz and Joan!

Late last night one of my Tweeple...yes, I said it...tweeted that our production photos for LOVE LOSS were up....I was very excited!!!

LOVE IT!!!
Back to rehearsal today and then a show tonight!
Opening is tomorrow!

Week One of Love LOSS DONE!!! Week 30 of World Domination begins TOMORROW!!!

Look at these women!!! JUST LOOK!!!
I cannot believe that it was on TUESDAY of this past week that we all sat down around a table and read thru the script...I met Paula, Mary and Andrea that day...and it feels like we have known each other a year...in the good way.
Today was amazing but started in a less than stellar way....I was tired...though it has been an amazing week we have been burning the midnight oil at LOVE LOSS. And I have also been taking care of ...

THESE GUYS....And I love them but they are huge and need a lot of walking and ball playing...oh, and hugging and loving...so I want to make sure that since G is away that they get all they need.
Well, the big dog ran after the ball and came back...with blood all over him...he ripped out...not all the way...one of his claws...fuck. Fuck.
I have to be at the show in an hour...and I have to first aid this pupper.
Frazzled by the time I got to work.
AND...I am sad to say...that my "eff off" five inch Calvin Klein rock and roll heels that I wear in the show had to be kiboshed...I have lost a bit of feeling in a my foot from one of the straps...I AM ONLY SITTING FOR EFF'S sake!!!
I even had a moment this morning where I considered still wearing them...I am just sick.
It was a sad sad moment.
Wayne, my friend in wardrobe, had to take them away.
Sigh.
They set me up with another pair of great shoes...of course.
This aft's show was great!
And then after going home to check on the Big Dog in his cone...A very big cone...every time he barks it is so loud he scares the shit outta himself.
Rode my bike up Sherbourne back to work...I shake my fist at the incline on that hill...and then give it the finger.
The show was one hour early...we are all getting ready...but where was Mary?
At about 6:45pm Melissa Thompson, our stand by, jumps into the room and starts talking about the show with a bit of a wild eyed look...but of course TOTALLY in control...and says that they can't find Mary...it seems that there has been a miscommunication...and Mary thinks the show is at 8:00pm ...WHAT THE EFF????
I hear Melissa going over stuff in the hall with Karen BUT Andrea has no doubt that Mary will show up...
Which she does!!!
She gets herself together in RECORD time!!!
I shit you not...and we have a GREAT show!!! Our best yet, I think!
And we are awarded a standing ovation...to finish the week...again...I cannot believe that WE JUST MET....i love this job.
I do.
I look so forward to the rest of the run...
And at the end of the show I got another cheque from a dear friend...thanks LiZ!!!!
Only $5650.00 to go...I CAN DO THIS!!!!
Come to the show...I really think you will like it!!! And I don't even have a take of the door...I must love it!

Saturday at LOVE LOSS! Week 29 of World Domination.....Camels and Pigs and Flies.

In my true moments of Divadom I have the strangest thoughts...and I just wanna be honest.
Before I get there, yesterday was excellent...and interesting.
We had a lovely, vocal audience yesterday afternoon...and there was a woman who laughed...
Her laugh was like...was like..Bea Arthur mixed with the spitting sound a camel makes...I know that is very specific...but it is what comes to mind when I stop and think about it...and I had an hour and half to hear and think about it...she LOVED the show...and let me be clear, I LOVED HER LAUGH...and I love that she loved the show...but as I became more and more aware of her laugh...it made me laugh...and we are all a bit tired from the week so therefore....giddy.
I had to pull my shit together.
Then last night...I know this sounds petty and small...but there was a fly...who made itself known quite early...as the lights came up on each one of us it (the fly) would say "Oh that looks like a good place to hover...and land..and hover...and land...on heads, scripts, hands..." If it could speak and wasn't a thing based from maggots and poo that is what it's inner monologue would be. Is it an organism?....I don't fucking know.
Anyhow...we all watched it...and I am sure that the audience did too...right before one of my monologues it landed on my stand and I swatted at it like a crazy person...and then breathed, smiled and did my thing.
An hour an a half with a fly can be a long time...but during Andrea's Purse monologue it really went at her...and she swatted it with a smooth chop and it fell...dead as a freakin' doornail to the floor...I hope Peta doesn't read this and judge us. It is poo and maggot.
At one point though, during the Fly Incident 2010, all I could think of was "God, they need to get rid of all the flies in this theatre. Why haven't they done that?" Diva...how the fuck are they gonna do that? They are freakin' flies....back off the diva box, Matthews....that way lies madness...

I was gonna put up the image of a fly...but when I looked at them they were so gross I couldn't do it...so here is the image of a pig flying...which has nothing to do with anything...but it is my blog so who gives an eff.

Yesterday, I found out that a dear friends Grama died.
She lived to be 100 years old.
100 years.
What a life.
And she had a family who loved and took care of her...
I wonder what her stories were....
I wonder...

WE had an Audience!!! Day 4 of Love Loss and Week 29 of World Domination

I mean...look at that picture...I am gonna get one of us all together...we actually had a photo shoot yesterday but THIS is the best place.
This is our tiny, laughter filled, chocolate covered dressing room. It has pink flowers and towels and black dresses and high heel shoes every where.
And I actually feel like I have known these fabulous women for a long time...not 4 DAYS!!!
4 Days!!!
Yesterday we all came in a bit discombobulated...I know that I have spelled that wrong...HOW DO YOU SPELL THAT??!?!?
Everyone had had a morning...we were all some tired...dealing with life outside of long rehearsal days...but we had a media call.
Let me just say right here...I HATE media calls...they are bad for my self esteem...that is the freakin' truth.
And I think...and I am not fishing for compliments...who the frick is gonna wanna talk to me when there is Louise, Andrea, Paula and Mary...NOT FISHING!! SWEAR TO GOD!!
I know their careers are huge...and that I am trying to work mine towards some kind of hugeness...why else would I try and dominate THE WORLD, right?
So, we did part of the play and then we went around in a circle...there was the CBC, the CITYTV, The Classical 96, OMNI....so many...I did a couple...but I always assume it is out of pity...I KNOW!!! SAD!!! WE are so effed...artists are.
We did a LOVE LOSS portrait!!! YAY!! And then a picture with Delia Ephron...beside me...me...me.
It is the simple joys, people.
Funny thing is...I never felt too weird in the media call...these women are confidence boosters...we really are all trying to look out for one another...really...
That Paula, who I did a couple interviews with, is so well spoken...she is just the loveliest young lady...she is 21.
Yes, 21...and we both know the "Baby Got Back"...which I brought in for Andrea today on my IPOD.
We did a run...it went fine...but we really do need an audience!!
We all, all 5 of us and Karen our director, went to dinner at Wish on Charles street...we sat on comfy couches and laughed.
YES, we do a lot of laughing.
And then it was time...all of our weird before show freak outs arose...I wasn't too nervous...but don't get me wrong...I was NERVOUS!!!
The NY Company of LOVE LOSS has very kindly sent down a bunch of cupcakes...beautiful gourmet cupcakes for us...and I went and stood with the young Ned Loach...our wonderful company manager...and we tried to pick a cupcake for me to have after the show...I picked some raspberry cream cheese confection...and I put it at my place and told the ladies that if I got nervous onstage I would think of that cupcake waiting for me.
My relationship with food is interesting and tumultuous.
We stood backstage and got into a circle...and then our cue music began...by a band called...ironically... CAKE...and we entered.
What a fabulous night...I learned so much...it was amazing to have an audience...they reacted unpredictably and predictably....and they made US laugh...and there were parts when I heard peels of joyous solo laughter and gasps of surprise.
I have done many shows and written about them...but there is nothing quite like this.
I feel compelled to write about the whole deal because it is a very singular experience...the short rehearsal, the material, the format, the women involved. It is very....special.
When we bowed I was relieved and excited and thinking and ....OH SO MANY THINGS!
I can't believe that I get to do this for three weeks....you gotta come...you just gotta come...
And as one of my friends, who came to see the show, left last night...they pressed a paper into my hand..."It is a note for you"....it was $500.00 for my trip to Edinburgh!!!
Thank you JOAN!!!
AGAIN!
Only $5750.00 to GO!!!
I KNOW I CAN DO THIS!!!

Day 3 LOVE LOSS....Costumes, stools, fancy things...I feel like a princess...

There is nothing that can compare to being treated like a princess.
LOVE LOSS DAY 3
In the show we all sit in a line up along the front of the stage...the 5 of us...for an hour and a half...but during rehearsal...it is all day.
And Karen keeps bringing us things...better binders for our scripts...better and fancier chairs for our butts...little boxes for our Calvin Klein (my Calvin Klein...yes.) eff off high heels to perch on...little. special water bottles for tea or water during the show...
I watch the fancy people on movie sets get treated this way...and here I am...I hope this doesn't spoil me for the real life (read: it already has.).
Yesterday we ran the show all the way thru...I really think it is something else...the stories are funny, surprising, and moving...and so very familiar.
What happened yesterday...oh! Louise was shooting "Star Portraits" yesterday so the lovely Melissa stepped in to read Gingy for a while.
I forgot to mention that Delia Ephron came the day before yesterday...it is always great to get to the bottom of the story with the person who wrote it.
She is a freakin' Ephron...it is pretty cool.
Again...to risk sounding like a total lord...it really is quite a magical experience.
With this year's whole World Domination theme I am alternately stunned and gratified to be doing this piece...I read a number of scenes with Andrea and I remember watching her in Melonville (remember Melonville with Johnie LaRue and Lola Heatherton?) with that amazing SCTV cast on my crappy black and white TV growing up.
And Mary...Mary who burned all Stephen Harper's sweater vests on the beach and caught a horrible conservative backlash for it...we talked about that yesterday...also yesterday Mary was staring mine and Paula's way...Paula and I are in the stage left end of the line up...we were taking a break...and Mary had her glasses on so it was hard to see her eyes in the glare of the lights.
It bears mentioning here that earlier Mary and I were talking about how we need to get our roots touched up before opening....onward.
She was staring down mine and Paula's way and said..."Oh! I can really see how that dark outline makes your face look square and you DON'T have a square face...." I turned and looked at Paula...and thought "Her face isn't square at all."...and when I turned back I caught the end of Mary saying "....we really do need to get our roots done..."
And I yelled "OH, YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT ME!!!"
She looked stricken...and I started to laugh and laugh...not even pretend laugh...the "to cover up embarrassment laugh"...NO it was a true gut laugh...it was like when a sister, who feels so comfortable with you, tells you something about yourself.
Mary said to tell you here that she tried very hard to make it all better and that she didn't mean it badly. It was a brilliant moment....really.
There is something amazing about 5 women all hanging around together...the stories that they tell, that you hear, the things you say...and the chocolate that is getting eaten.
I KNOW!!!
I sound all lordy.
But as of yesterday....Andrea still focused on the Butt Song, Mary and I need our roots done, Louise learned to draw ( you gotta come see), and Paula...she freakin' got the slammin-est outfit...
Yes....slammin-est...I am trying to stay current with the young people.
Today!
Media!
Pictures!
And, of all things....and audience.

Week 29 WD! Day 2 of Love Loss! And I need to do a re post!!!

I am sitting in front of my computer in my robe.
I should be walking the dogs...eating breakfast...getting my shit together...but I wanted to blog.
The ladies I work with...who are AMAZING by the way...cannot understand what I spend my time doing on here in Facebook and twitter...and while we sat onstage for about 11 hours yesterday we talked and laughed about the interweb...I told them that I was "on the line"....Mary found this quite funny.
They don't get the time spent....and sometime NEITHER DO I!!!
P.S. It bears being mentioned that Andrea and I (yes, I sit beside Andrea...how will I ever get a laugh of my own...how?) spent a good deal of the time they were setting lights talking about reality shows like "Hoarders, SYTYCD and Intervention"...oh god...I love reality TV...and then another part of the time was spent with Paula (who I also sit beside...what a lovely young woman...and talented) teaching Andrea "Baby Got Back" by Sir Mix A Lot.
Really.
Every story we told after running a monologue or scene for lights was followed by Karen Carpenter, our fabu director, coming onstage and participating in whatever chat the monologue or scene inspired...we laughed and indeed, many times, we cried.
And It is amazing to look down the line and see Louise...so gorgeous and well spoken, and sure...sitting and the end telling "Gingy's" amazing story...I can't believe I am finally working with her.
I am lordy for this experience.
SO!
At one point I tried to explain to them the affect the internet has had on my career...but everytime I talked about it....it came up a sounding wrong...I just couldn't describe it properly...so after being reminded of one of my blogs yesterday, by a friend...I have decided to repost it...it changed my life a bit...it also really goes with the some of the stuff I am doing in LOVE LOSS....
I gotta go...I am gonna be LATE!!! HERE I COME LADIES!!!

Last Night Someone Called Me FAT!!

Last night someone called me fat. And not even in English. It has been my life long struggle. My weight. Once someone who was sitting right beside me...who is a good friend... called me the “Luther Vandros of Canadian Musical Theatre”...to which I forced the expected gut laugh.
Yes, I laughed at it...because I was embarrassed. Shouldn’t I seem as if I am fine about it...strong and empowered by it?
But, believe me people, to me, my weight is not a laughing matter...it is something I agonize over on a daily basis. EVERY fucking DAY!
Everything I eat, everything that I wear, circles around where my very sensitive form is at that day.
And yes, it seems more sensitive than others...it does...you can all think what you want about my choices but when I sit beside a 5 foot gal who mows down a steak dinner with a beer and she tells me that her appetite is like this all the time...I know that my body is sensitive.
I joke that I was born to carry milk and farm...that, basically, I was born with the genes of a peasant...this is my latest 'funny quip' about the battle that has raged within me my whole life.
I have never wanted it to define who I am.
So, I don’t usually talk about it.
But I picked a business where it is a central focus.
Funny that.
Being big is obvious.
Sometimes you can’t tell when your friend is a crack head...and crack can make you thin...so maybe you have given your crackhead pal a compliment on their recent weight loss. Who knows how they lost it...they look great...size wise anyhow.
Yes, that is harsh...but that will tell you where I am at today.
Many times I have lost weight just to avoid the snap decisions that the world makes even before you open your mouth...they see you standing there and make assumptions...she is jolly, she is funny, she eats too much, she can take me telling her all of these things...she is an object to be judged simply by her size.
And I am angry that I have lost weight for that reason...but I am not going to lie to you... it was great to level the playing field, even for a while.
The oddest thing I experience at the edge of a large weight loss is that it never seems enough. I don’t know where to stop...
As I have lost weight a number of times I do my best to not listen or confront the opinions and voices that come my way...but it is a futile battle sometimes...equal to the final war scene in that movie “300”.
Here are the comments and here are my standard responses.
“You look so much better.” Than what exactly? A dog, a tree, a couch?
“You have lost a ton.” I didn’t know that I had weighed a metric tonne.
“We were all hoping you would lose the weight” Did you and Canada have a talk about my pants size? I am flattered.
You know how I always know that I have gained a bit too much weight?
In conversations when people are talking about bigger humans someone is just about to say fat...they even get the “f” out if their mouths...and they say overweight, large sized or, my person fave, hefty...like the garbage bag.
I know I have “become socially acceptably thin” when FAT comes back into a conversation.
The above mentioned scale is more trustworthy than any scale or pair of “skinny’ jeans.
Oh god. Why.
Why do I care so much...and why do you?
I feel embarrassed that one of the only things that has made me feel better about my struggle is...Oprah. She has it all...money, fame, power...and she STILL goes up and down. I have even thought “Uh oh, there she goes.”...I know..I am also quite guilty of the judgement.
But the fact that she has ALL of those things and battles anyway gives me a small degree of comfort.
But then there is the horrible Kirsty Alley story...she has become an American car wreck. And she is doing her VERY best to spin it...but it is horrible to watch. For me anyway.
he public cannot get enough.
The world gives you one chance at salvation.
Like a movie or a good book.
You get one chance to make yourself over...to kick the habit...to not be something the world disdains...but GOD help you if you take another drink or gain back that weight.
Shouldn’t they have learned the first time?
Back to Oprah.
I was listening to Portia DeRossi talk about her anorexia.
This was about 5 years ago, before the recent Ellen and Portia interview on Oprah. She was making some awesome observations and then said something like “Well, look at Oprah, she has everything a person can want but all I see is a yo yo dieter....”
That froze me...really...this woman has done so MANY amazing things...and THAT is what you see?
I have been big, I have been small...I hope to be smaller again...but I want it not to be at the cost of...well, of....my big self.
Do you know what I mean?
I have been on a diet for about 35 years and I am pretty pooped out.
But...but I try again...I try not to be embarrassed at dinners when I order a salad...to not think that people shit and think “Uh oh, here she goes.”
So, I am in the middle of another little war...
And I am in the middle of one of the biggest things I have ever done in my life.
I know I am not Oprah, but I think I have done some pretty cool things.
And I think that the “World Domination Tour 2010” is one of the coolest.
I even did a photo shoot this week....I was nervous because I wish I was smaller...but I decided to be fine with where I was...my photographer Tracey Nolan got some great shots...and though I agonized a bit over some of my full body shots...I thought "BE enpowered!!!"
I have worked hard to get where I am...wherever that may be...I have put in a ton (not a metric tonne) of hours.
And now to yesterday...

Friday March 19th 2010
Yesterday I went to a commercial audition and tried not to feel fat...and came off alright...struggled with thoughts that my agent might not be sending me out as much because I am bigger.
Came home and sent emails to NY and Scotland...realized I had met all of my goals for this date...a date I had on my calendar...Mar 19th...deadline for Edinburgh Fringe Early Registration...I had a venue and had raised enough funds to put a down payment on it, register for the fringe AND buy an ad in the program. And contacted people about a PR person for my NY dates.
I taught commercial pop performance (one of my biggest passions) and watched young people make great discoveries and do hard work and I felt so blessed.
Some of the students I taught previously came in to audition for my big fund raising benefit...I am featuring up and comers who I have worked with...they did some great stuff and humbled me, making me feel grateful to be a part of their journey.
I sat and ate (every bite in watched meticulously but enjoyed thoroughly) with dear friends and laughed.
I went to meet my husband after his show...as I walked into Betty’s a gentlemen who I didn’t know very well, but who I had welcomed into my home said something loudly in Serbian.
I don’t know it you know...but I DON’T speak serbian...or english very well sometimes for that matter...and just moved on.
I order a green tea...not a wine or beer....and this Serbian gentleman saddled over to me and started engaging me in conversation.
I know I had a smile on my face...I was enjoying myself...then he said....
“When I met you I heard you were a singer...and looking at you I thought she has the warmth and size to be a singer...you know rounder...a bigger woman...stronger....(then here I started to hear a screaming sound in my head and my heart started to beat faster so I misses a couple words so you get the gist)...so I yelled “(something in serbian that I AGAIN didn’t understand)”...you know, it means...”It isn’t over till the fat lady sings”...."
You could have knocked me over with a feather. Again...my whole day...which was mostly fabulous...reduced to this.
And, instead of getting mad, which I am happy to do when someone says something horrible and rude to me...I am ashamed to say...I got embarrassed.
I said it was fine.
I went to see my friend who was across the way.
And then I went to the bathroom and cried.
Good lord. Why did I not call him out?
I went home, quickly, and got into the bath....till 4:00 am.
All of these great things and this one asshole felt confident that he could reduce me to one common, rude phrase.
I went over and over it again in my head.
There is nothing funny about it and nothing I want to crack wise about it.
have not gotten over it yet and I am sure I will carry it through my day.
And please don’t feel bad for me...let me wage my war of weight peacefully as I can...and see me...and know that deep inside I totally dig myself...I just have my moments. And I just wanted to publicly say...
Fuck you, you small, small man. Don’t you know who I think I am.

Week 29 of World Domination. First Day of " Love Loss.." Words to learn by...

I woke this morning like it was the first day of school.
I had my outfit hanging on the back of the bedroom door.
I had planned the whole morning beforehand....we didn't start till 1:00pm...which is right fancy, let me tell ya.
Eat breakfast, walk the dogs, go on a bike ride, shower, read the script again (okay, only my parts), get into outfit, onto bike, lock bike at the rehearsal space and pray it doesn't get ripped off and make way to rehearsal room.
I was right nervous...I ain't gonna lie...these are all women who I admire...a lot.
As I walked in a felt a bit heartratetoofast-ie.
4 hours later I was slapping Mary Walsh on the arm and explaining what bleavage is (back cleavage)...and watching Andrea Martin use the "Tex and Edna Boyle" voice and face (WHAT THE FUCK, I almost screamed with joy)...I was pledging my undying love to Paula Brancati (in a scene people) and watching Louise Pitre well up while listening to Mary read a monologue, and then getting a teary eyed myself when Louise read her own.
And the wonderful surprise of the day.... the gorgeous Melissa Thompson is there too! We are lucky to have Melissa as the stand by for ALL the parts in the show.
And there is Karen Carpenter, the director, who I last worked with on Les Miserables US touring company. Les Mis was her last stage management job before she went to the Old Globe Theatre in San Diego to work alongside Jack O'Brien as a director. She has been with Love Loss from the beginning.
I mean, really people....what a freakin' team.
How in the frick did I get here....WAIT!!! I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!!!
We read...we laughed..I got more and more excited about what this show is gonna be.
And then after dinner we all tried our show outfits on...really it was for Karen...but you wouldn't know it...there was a hush in the room before you walked in...and then a sigh...or a cheer...or simply Mary crying out "Well, it isn't my favourite!"...honesty? Fabulous.
It was like we drank wine and talked together all day...without the wine.
I was worried coming in the it would be weird to read the show from scripts...but I take that thought back...it will be quite freeing. And perfect for the piece.
I didn't have any idea what time it was ALL DAY!
I can't tell you the last time I felt that way in rehearsal.
And I was all sad when the day was coming to a close.
Again....I cannot tell you the last time that happened either...
I am all excited.
We are in the space tomorrow at the Panasonic and Delia Ephron will be there...REALLY!?!?!?
And we were talking about the social media and Mary isn't on Twitter and Andrea isn't on Facebook....jesus wept.
I am gonna do my best to remedy that on lunch tomorrow...
Could I name drop ANYMORE?!?!?!
I think not...but it is WORLD DOMINATION WEEK 29...a little name dropping is in order!
When I got home from rehearsal I found a bunch of emails from people who have ideas to help me raise the rest of my $6500.00 for Scotland!!! THANK YOU!!! Keep 'em coming people!!!
I need yer brains!!!
me@sharronmatthews.com!
www.lovelossonstage.ca