"It is a Sausage Convention" at RUSH last night!

First of all....have you ever seen a happier man in your whole life.

Standing beside my man watching him THRILL through EVERY song that came on....PRICELESS. WORTHE EVERY PENNY FOREVER!!!

Second of all...I have NEVER seen so many STRAIGHT MEN in one place in my entire life. It was a bit weird for me...I didn't know how to conduct myself...

Third of all...I put myself in a line up to get into the orchestra (they call it the FLOOR in concert land...so strange this world)...into the orchestra of the theatre (auditorium)... at least I thought it was that line up...it was the line up for the...wait for it...MEN'S washroom...LINE UP!!! The men's rooms were all packed to overflowing.....that is how many guys were there...and it was sold out...it was, in George's words...a sausage convention. Almost, every time I walked by a group of dudes I would hear them say "There's a girl."....a girl....giggle...me...a girl. LOVE IT.

Fourth of all...George ran out of beer and I said I would go get him some and how much did he want...I put in my ear plugs...yes, I know...and as I walked away I saw about 10 guys nodding to George with awe and respect...

Fifth of all...Though RUSH is amazing...they really are...Geddy Lee, the lead singer commented that because they were so old they had to take an intermission...well, of course they did...it is the theatre, people...George went in search of the Men's room with the shortest line (it still amazes me) and I pulled out my KOBO and sat down... a gentleman in a Maple Leaf's cap and a t shirt that said "Don't Ask....I Divorced the Bitch" said,

"You brought your book to RUSH?"...incredulously....and I said, "Well, it is intermission and I don't know any of you people and my phone has no reception...do you have a better idea?"...He just shook his head and laughed at me in my face...and I bit back "It is a wonder that you aren't married"....or maybe "So, you do well with girls?"... or" You play the best air guitar and drums I have ever seen...that is gonna get you laid!!!" ....oh, so many thoughts....

Sixth of All...I loved watching that band. There is just three of them and they make the most amazing noise I have heard...symphonic. They played like motherfuckers...and that

Getty Lee...he was amazing.....

Geddy Lee had some tight pants on for a 60 year old dude to be running around in. And HE could move...I guess that is from many years of wearing too tight pants...stuffed with a banana....George will be mad when he reads that...but a joke is a joke.

That being said...they are fucking virtuosos....did I spell that right...fuck it...you know what I mean.

Seventh of All...My show at the Flying Beaver on Friday is SOLD OUT!!! I love that, I have to say. So, a second show has been added on Saturday and I have been told that it is selling very well. I would love to see you all...so please book in advance...you can come and have a nice dinner as well...get right sloshed. Don't heckle me though...you know what happens to hecklers....So,call the Pubaret (647.347.6567) for tickets...or go here for online tickets https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/170991

Rush, bitches.

I am going to see RUSH tonight.

At Copps in Hamilton.

With George...and my people.

Just before Valentines Day (okay, don't tell George but it was Valentines Day) I was on set ...I love saying that...you can judge the fuck out of me...that never gets old...I was on set and trying to figure out what to get George...when George showed up...parking the cube van that held all of our belongings because he was moving our entire home to Stratford from Toronto...on Valentines Day. He showed up ON SET and gave me a beautiful necklace...from where? FASHION CRIMES...322 1/2 Queen West. (You can never promote enough).

I felt so happy and a bit like a tool.

George is so great at the suprises...you know what I a super good at? Cleaning, organizing and making sure he always has soap and toothpaste and socks. That is what I am good at.

So, talking with Andrew, Darcy and Eric (Camera, Audio and Intern Fabulous) I was trying to figure out how I could get the best gift ever. I knew that if I focused I could achieve this thing. THEN I REMEMBERED!!!

I was in Hamilton at the time shooting "Canada Sings" at that morning on the way to breakfast I had seen the poster outside Copps Coliseum for RUSH...and they were playing one of their albums in it's entirety...2011 or something like that.

Now, I am a RUSH fan...not a super fan or anything...but because of George's deep love of this band...I learned very quickly to love them as well.

He loves that Neil (drummer) is from St. Catharines and insists that since Neil writes all the lyrics that "Lakeside Park" is about Port Dalhousie.

We went to a film opening of a Johnny Depp movie once..I was looking at Johnny Depp when Getty Lee walked by him on the red carpet and George was gone...running after him to take a picture on his phone...and he proclaimed that "You're the star, man,"

George loves RUSH and has never seen them live.

SUPER AWESOME GIFT FROM HEAVEN!

So, Andrew told me about a great website called www.stubhub.com ...they get you great seats at a number of different prices and they are trusted and true.

Yes, sometimes the tickets are more than face value...but we are all adults here..right?

So, I got...for the first time in mine and George's adult life....floor seats.

They cost a million dollars.

I have never spent money like that on tickets...and I am NOT bragging...it is just ...it seemed worth it.

We went into hawk ( I have spelled that wrong)...but we are GOING TONIGHT!

George is working in the Hammer (Hamilton to those not in the know) right now and went to the local concert T store to get us Tshirts....we are doing this up right...

I am excited.

I hope George doesn't pass out.

On another note...as a slutty blog writer (and I mean that I am using this blog to sell myself as a musician you dirty minded bitches) my show this Friday night at The Flying Beaver Pubaret is a few tickets from being sold out. So Maggie Cassella asked me to do Saturday Night the 23rd...after having a check in with my musicians I am ready to go.

I am excited about these shows...it is has been a long time since I just sang for the love of it (LORDY, I KNOW!) but I have two of my fave players, Cooch (Chris Tsujiuchi) and Drake (Jamie Drake...not that other DRake) and we are gonna jam it up. I have some new stuff and some stuff I have not done in many, many years. Pink, Blue October, Prince, Duran Duran, Gaga, Back Street Boys...so many artists...too many to name!!!

And I will have had a mammogram, been to a RUSH concert, to London, England, shot a TV show and been to Deep River and Moose Jaw...and moved to the Country...I have a story to tell, people.

So, If you want the last couple Friday tickets GET ON IT!

OR/AND book it up for Saturday....

My agent just bought through the online site and it worked like a charm!

I hope you can come out...as I said before..I am putting the GOOD back in Good Friday and then, now....I am putting the...um...fucking awesomeness back in Easter Weekend...so show up on Friday or the day before Jesus rose...or something (he gets my humour, by the way...he isn't offended...he told me).

Jesus will be there as far as I know.

Here is the info again!

The Flying Beaver Pubaret @ 488 Parliament Street

Shows at 8:00pm on Friday April 22nd and Saturday April 23rd

TIX: $15advance/$20 door

Showtime: 8pm

Dinner available before, during, and after the show

Reservations recommended.

647.347.6567 for info

Pubaret opens at 4pm

Stay and dance to our live DJ after the show!

You can call or order online...here

https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/170991

I hope we can look meaningfully into each others eyes.

Love

Sharron

Country Strong and Boobs.

So, I had a few alarming things happen in the last couple days.

#1 I had my first mammogram EVER yesterday. I heard a lot of ladies say it is now way better than it was before. Well, “before” must have been fucking terrible. Because that was pretty shitty. First, let me say that the mammogram is a tool used to detect irregularites in the breast...the boob...I know this. It is an early warning tool. For that I am grateful...BUT can’t they find another way to check our boobs? Huh? The groping, the pulling, the squeezing. I was kinda like writing a grant application for the Canada Council. NO WAIT!!! That is worse....the grant writing, that is.

#2 I had above said Mammogram because I have my first physical in 4 years...I know!!! I KNOW!!! But I went....let me SAY THIS?!?!? When you are 42 years old, your physical takes Eighty THOUSAND HOURS!!! AND let us frank, I had a finger in every place there was to put one...lord. I took off my clothes more times than a noon hour stripper at Jilly’s.

#3 When I am alone at home for the day, sometimes I love to watch movies that George will never EVER want to watch with me. The choice today was between Tangled and...wait for it...Country Strong. STOP JUDGING ME! You know some of you were wondering about it.

Well, wonder no more.

That movie has more holes in it than...a cheese grater, a siv, a salad spinner, a hooker’s nylons, my voice after belting for 7 days straight (I, for some reason, dedicate that to Shawn Wright)....LORD LOVE US ALL!!!

Okay...I am gonna write this down for all to see....WHAT THE FUCK MADE GWYNETH PALTROW SUDDENLY DECIDE THAT SHE WAS A FUCKING RECORDING ARTIST? She was autotuned within an inch of sanity. I think of all the country divas out there who watched that movie...and then got really mad after. She has...and I hope I am not spoiling this for you...a concert segment at the end where she is dancing...on my sweet lord...she is changing dresses, giving the performance of a life time....and at the end she says “That is how it is done, sweetheart.”

Really.

Is it?

I am not so sure it is.

Ug...the uncomfortable scenes...the stories that don’t make sense...the bird...the fucking bird...oh, lord...and there is some stinky acting.

LORD!

Sorry...I am always hopeful for a musical movie...but my god...as a bonus, the secondary female and the secondary dude are good singers.

I can only think that Faith Hill watched that movie, that her hubby was in and said “ You gotta be fucking kidding me...”

WAIT!

Did you ever see the youtube vid where Faith Hill is doing a concert and yells at some coug in the audience who grabbed Tim McGraw’s balls....oh god...google it!

Anyhow.

I just had to get that out.

And on the flip side...the tickets to my show on Friday are going fast. I am only doing one, no matter what, so get your tickets in advance people!

Cooch and I rehearsed yesterday...oh lord...I am excited....new stuff...new stuff....and I called the fabu Jamie Drake! He will come to percuss...

I am so looking forward to see you all....

What fun we will have....

Here is the info again!

Online tickets at https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/170991

FB Page Event!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=146357842097245

Happy Weekend, All!!!

The sun is coming out right now!

Moose Jaw, The Plane and The Beaver....

So, I went to Moose Jaw.

I didn’t know WHAT to expect...first of all, I couldn’t believe that they would bring my show ALL THE WAY THERE for one night.

I was nervous and wondered if this was all a ploy to get me to Saskatchawan and kidnap me...I don’t know why...theses things just occur to me.

Two things, this is the tallest building in Moose Jaw.

Main Street Moose Jaw.

Second thing, I bought this purse at the Pharmasave on Main Street.

Cooch and my new bag...that I bought at the Moose Jaw Pharmasave

What an amazing time I had...what a gorgeous theatre, what lovely people...I sent an email to Steve Patterson (Patterson is a Moose Jaw native) and he rallied his folks, Kathy and Bob, who rallied a bunch of other folks, Marianne Woods and Kelly Handerek made their ways up from Regina...laughs were had, dresses were spun in (you know!), notes were belted and CD’s were sold.

Oh look at me and Cooch...

Thank you Graham (who worked at the Royal Alex when I was but a pup in Les Mis), the General Manager of the Moose Jaw Cultural Centre for bringing me out there!

Though it was a great time and all that is not why I write now.

Chris Tsujiuchi ( my accompanist) and I flew on the lovely but frugal Air Canada (not even a fucking meal anymore? REALLY?). Chris hasn’t flown a ton and the flight out was so lovely. We were chattin and I was all bragging (I wasn’t quite aware of it at the time, really) about how much I have flown...Oh, so many times. I am an old hat...hundreds, darling....hundreds.

So, on the way back, I manage to score a row by myself (the plane is smaller, two rows on each side) and I pull out my book and settle in. About an hour and a half into the flight I decide to watch “Black Swan” but the plane begins to bump around a smidge (a smidge) and it makes me feel a bit sickie....to be honest, from the 20 minutes I saw that Natalie Portman is working WAY TOO HARD...but that is just me...so I turn it off.

The seat belt light goes on and the bumping gets...well...bumpier.

Lord have mercy.

The captain is all, “Ladies and Gentlemen we have a weather front from here to Toronto, so we apologize for the turbulance...buckle up bitches”....wait...there is still and hour of flight left....AND THE PLANE JUMPS TO THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT....LIKE THE FUCKING HOKEY POKEY....in the FUCKING SKY!!!!

Why, my friends, WHY when the screaming starts...why doesn’t the magnitude of the “turbulance” get addressed? Hmm? Huh? WHY!?!?!? FOR AN HOUR! We are bumping around so much I know that it is now TOO LATE to have a gravol...I put in my earphones and find a classical station and grip the seat like it is the last place I will ever sit. Which, after a half an hour , I believe it will be.

I can’t even get up to find Cooch (which is what I call Chris)...I know he is behind me, scared out of his shit...listening to India Arie...because he assumes he is also going to die and since India is his fave...he should go down listening to her.

Then I begin to search for an air sickness bag....just in case...cause let me tell you what people...I could feel my Tim Horton’s BLT wanting to make a entrance.

The whole time...even though there is, as I mentioned earlier, screaming...no one in that front cabin says a word. Which just makes me believe that the end is near. There is no sign of a flight attendant, either.

You feel so fucking helpless and small...yes, I just got philosphical...whatever...I was going to die.

I managed to talk myself out of hurling....barely...because there was a throw up convention going on around me...and I am a joiner...I had my music up to 11.

When I see Toronto through the window I feel such a great amount of relief...I almost pee.

We land...I am still filled with my BLT...but when I grab my bag and walk off I give the pilot the hairiest eyeball I can manage....past the stink of throw up....ug, I am gagging right now.

So, lucky to be alive....telling Cooch the whole way out of the terminal that flying to Europe will be better. (!)

What a trip.

And after all that...I realized that it is never too soon to sing live....nice transition, bitches, huh?

Maggie Cassella has opened up a new venue, The Flying Beaver Pubaret, and her Good Friday entertainment canceled! WHAT?!?!? She asked me...and I thought...Easter Weekend...a holiday....WHY NOT!!!

So, as you may have heard, I am putting the GOOD back in GOOD FRIDAY, people.

It is a lovely, intimate room and I am singing for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

I think that tickets are selling really well, so here in the info, book early....it is a week AWAY!

Friday April 22nd, $15 advance and $20 at the door.

The Flying Beaver Pubaret

488 Parliament Street (North of Carlton)

Showtime: 8pm

Dinner available before, during, and after the show

Dinner reservations recommended.

647.347.6567 for info.

Pubaret opens at 4pm.

I am singing a bunch of new stuff...things I have had on list TO DO list for a while!

It has been too long...I miss all of your guys!

I got some stories to tell....TV show, traveling, UK debut, back to the Fringe, I have moved to the country....SO MUCH!!!!

Here is the link to online tickets and the FB event!

Online tickets at https://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/170991

FB Page Event!

http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=146357842097245

Come on DOWN!!!!!

Jesus called....he will be there!