Bruce Dow joins me at the Pubaret on Friday night!!

Oh my sweetness & Light!
LOOK who is coming to join me on Friday the 26th of April at the Flying Beaver Pubaret for "Fun and Casual"!!! 
BRUCE DOW!!!
 


He is just back from Washington, DC where he played Nick Bottom in the Dream at the Shakespeare Company. Fancy.

 And, of course, he spent some time on Broadway last year as King Herod in Jesus Christ Superstar...AND he was also on Broadway in Jane Eyre and The Music Man. Fancy times 4, people.

I have known Bruce forever and we did a little gig this past weekend and over quarter chicken dinners...fuck I love the Chalet...I asked him if he wanted to come down and sing, laugh and chat with me.
He said, yes.
Lord all mighty...how awesome!
SO!!!
Come on down...get your TICKETS NOW!!! 


FRIDAY, APRIL 26th -9pm
Tix $20 advance/$25 door
Available at the Pubaret or online at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/373597
Dinner available before, during, and after the show.
Dinner patrons get priority seating.
E-mail Heather@pubaret.com or call 647.347.6567 for rezzos.
www.pubaret.com   

Gutted by the Kiwanis. In a good way.

When I was asked to adjudicate at the Stratford Kiwanis Festival, I found myself a bit at a loss.

NOT as to whether or not I would do it or not...FOR SURE I would do it...because I love working with the young people...I miss teaching at Sheridan...it was some of the most inspiring and enriching work I have ever done...the loss was that I had no idea what the bleep happened at the Kiwanis Festival.

You see, people, when I was growing up I didn't even know there was such a place or festival. I didn't start singing till I was about 13 years old and then I was in the musicals at school. The Kiwanis Festival wasn't even on my radar.

For any foreign readers who have no bleeping idea what I am talking about this festival celebrates music, dance and all arts by hosting a performance competitions for the young people....all across Canada. It is amazing, really.

I was asked to adjudicate pop performance.

I LOVES the pop music, people!!  

AND I loves the young perfromers.

There were performers from 8 to 18.

And they ALL blew me away...with their talent, their hard work and their bravery. 

What an amazing two days.

There were so many wonderful performers...but there was a girl...she was 11.

She got up and sat at the piano...and turned to the audience and said, "My name is Ella Nafziger and I am going to sing 'Hallelujah' by Cohen"...and then she shredded the piano and she sang with the art, style and confidence of a 40 year old.  

BUT with the youthful soul of a child.

It was one of the most amazing things I have ever seen.

And when I got up to give her the most promising performer award at the end of the show...I could not stop my silly self from tearing up. 

Again, there were  many wonderful performers, and I was lucky to see them all...but this...wow.

Thanks to Kiwanis Stratford for asking me.

I was thrilled and honoured.

This is me and Ella!

I like the first picture, though out of focus, because she is smiling.

 

   

Shredded the piano, people...shredded.

And, if you will allow me to highjack my own blog, it is with this wonderful inspiration that I will hit the stage at Maggie and Heather's Pubaret again next Friday. I am not sure how many more of these I will be able to do because I have a lot of different projects coming up...but I love these nights...they are all fun...and the stories...and I never really know what is gonna happen...which I think is just great for the soul. 

Just singing...and laughing...lordy, I know...but true.

I will have a wonderful guest...I wish Ella could do it...but she is 11, after all...but they will be wonderful, just the same! TBA.

And Cooch will be there...ah, good times!

So, please come and be a part of next Friday's show!

 

 

Dear Peter Jackson, Why no lady dwarf warriors? AND Gollum of the Fire Detectors.

Dear Peter Jackson, 
Last night, very late I watched your movie "The Hobbit". 
To be honest, it was against my better judgement and because there was nothing else to watch. And I LOVED it so very much. Especially the part, about 10 minutes till then end, when an actual fireball from the guts of Mordor...that is what it is called, right? ...exploded outside my window. 
I shit you not. 

(Go to the * below if you wish to hear THAT tale. )

I just now watched the last 10 minutes. Thanks for a lovely film. I really dug it.

One question. 
Where are the lady warrior dwarves? 
Okay...one more.
Why the lady dwarves gotta get things with buckets and make dwarf dinners?  I know lady warrior dwarves don't exist in the, let's just be frank here, slightly misogynistic Tolkien tomes, yes...I used  "misogynist" and "tome" in the same sentence. BUT since he was creating a totally new world why can't YOU make some of the dwarves ladies, ass kickers, too? 
Well, there is that Galadriel but sometimes she stands and just looks pretty while not moving her mouth but you can hear her words. 
AND she is not really a literal ass kicker...sort of a metaphysical one...and she is an elf.

Huh.  

Anyhow, I am with the talent agency ETM here in Canada...I would like to come to New Zealand, put on some armour and KICK SOME ASS!!!

Again, awesome movie...just a bit of constructive criticism.
I hope you don't mind.
I never mind when people give ME constructive criticism. 
(Opposite DAY.) 

Best,

Sharron Matthews

www.sharronmatthews.com 

(Just in case you wanna check out my website, Mr. Jackson.)

:)

* SO!

Last night, at 2:15am, while Spring Ice Storm 2013 raged outside my windows, I was about 10 minutes away from the end of the aforementioned watching of "The Hobbit" WHEN there was a violent explostion outside and all the power went out. The dogs began to howl and I ran to my back door. When I looked out back the power lines AND the tree they were near was on fucking fire.
Like from "Lord of the Rings" but not a movie and 100 feet from my fucking house.
I got my land line...dead, goofus.
I picked up my cell...what was the emergency number again?
Oh ya, 911.  Goofus.
"What is your emergency?"
I tell her the entire story...including that I was watching "The Hobbit" because you are nothing as a storyteller if you don't include ALL the facts.
Then I stood there, in the dark, with the dogs howling...and watched the tree and lines spark and burn...holy lord.
I see the hydro and fire department show up...and proceed to dial the number of one, Ron Kennell, who lives a few houses from me...I KNOW it is about 2:20am now...but he had sent me an email about 45 minutes before...I WAS FREAKING OUT, OKAY!?!?
George is away, so I am by my lonesome.
He was very kind...it was about this time I see a flood light beaming through my window...the dogs are now barking even louder...and I realize that there is neither the time nor the light to pen them up properly so I go out the front door and close it JUST SHORT of locking myself out (somewhere, the universe said, "Lord, let's give this poor woman a fucking break...don't let her lock herself outside. Thank you, Universe...it is appreciated...but can you please tell Mother Nature...just while you are up there...to SUCK MY ASS!?!?) so I am holding the door and looking at two 18 year old police men. 
Really.
Swear to god.
And I ask them if they located the power line that started the fire.
Opie: "Did you call 911, mam?"
Me: "Uh, ya." (I am all over excited...this bears mentioning)
Opie: "What is your name and your date of birth?"
Pause.
Me: "YOU are cheeky."
This is about the time that they started to treat me like I was drunk.
Me: "I called in the electrical fire."
Opie 2: "Oh, is there anyone in your house who needs help?"
Pause.
Me: "No, just a bunch of riled up dogs...who have licsences."
I smile.
Pause.        
Opie: "So, everything is okay, mam?"
Me: "Yes...everything but the electrical fire that is happening in my backyard."
Weird, right?
They leave.
I am all afronted that they thought I was drunk.
I look out back...the fire is out...the hydro people are there...we need to go to bed...so I try take the dogs out back and they won't go...WOULD YOU?
So, I touch Tyson's ruff (the fur around his neck) and try to lead him out back...this is enough to make him go anywhere...and we both put feet on the deck and promptly fell on out asses...I gots bruises and TDog seems to have sprained his ankle. 
Mutherfucker.
So, I manage to get Tyson upstairs...he lets me 'sort of' carry him. Let me add, if you don't know already,  that he is 120 pounds.

  
Yup.
So, I get us, Cassie, TDog and myself tucked in.
I take a sleeping pill...yes...I do...and I am NOT ashamed.
I convince myself, again, that I am NOT afraid of the dark.

And the beeping begins.
So loud in the absolute quiet.
Gollum.
Gollum of the Fire Detectors.
Sporadic and piercing and bothersome as fuck.
"Come, my precious, come and dig around in maybe-live wires...come and tell me a riddle of the mysterious beeping...come and...well, you get the picture..."
Ah, parallels. 
Well, they ARE all hard wired...so...huh...
What to do?
Ask Facebook...it is 3:00am and a bunch of people are up...of course. 
I love Facebook.
In case you didn't guess that already.
I tell Facebook my tale...much like I am doing right now but with more spelling mistakes and auto corrects because it is on my IPHONE and the fucking keypad is bullshit. 
It just is, people.  
Michael wanted to know if the cops were hot.
Tober, in the UK, suggested that we all eat cake. (perfect)
Well wishes from Anne Marie in Scotland.   
My pal Karen, from down the street offered to run down some ear plugs. GOD bless her. She also sent me her number so we could chat...which we did.
A lot of fire alarm advice...which was wonderful...
Then, I googled the shit out of it.
And THEN, in the pitch black, I went down to the basement, got the ladder and Macgiver'd the SHIT out of that alarm.

    
   
I know it is a small thing...but...I could not have been more proud.
I fell into a drug induced sleep.
And woke to the other two alarms beeping.
Mutherfucker.
Ah well.
Thanks to all for you support.
What a night!
It is amazing the people who will come to your rescue at 3:00am.
From all over the world.
I am a very lucky, crazy, NOT DRUNK gal.
Oh...and this was one of my fave lines in the Facebook thread about the explosion/911 call/cop visit/dog injury/detector MacGiver times:

  

Well, thank you to Sharon Heldt...for sending a NEW PERSON my way! 
HELLO ANNE COOPER!!!
I promptly replied to this (and some other responses to the thread)

YOU really do, right?

:)

See, Peter Jackson, aren't you at least a BIT intrigued.
www.youtube.com/SharronPartyGirl    

GOOD DAY TO ALL!!! ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz......