Dreams come true...in many different ways

I am sitting at the table in my university flat that I share with the awesome group that is Team Jesus...and I am filled with melancholy.

This has been a challenging ride, my friends.

One of the hardest yet.

One of the most rewarding.

Here is (in the true spirit of my media whoring ways) what the reviewers have said...(and I really get used to whoring myself even more than usual over here...it is a epidemic.....people will tell you how many stars they got from the Scotsman before you learn their names...as a self producer, I appreciate and admire this)

The Scotsman named Jesus Thinks I'm Funny "Best of the Fest" along with 15 other performances and said "She owns the stage and anyone who dares look her way" and gave me 4 Stars (they love the stars here...FYI-this was my most prized possession from this visit here....people will fucking do many untoward AND NASTY things to get a Scotsman reviewer in. )

The Skinny (love that they are called The Skinny) called the show "A brilliant piece of comedy cabaret" and gave 5 stars.

Hairline claimed the show is "a ballsy, chaotic, foul mouthed version of Glee.", which, oddly enough, was what Three Weeks said last year...love it....and gave 4 Stars...

(Sidebar...I asked the audience who wrote Beth (by Kiss) and a youngster yelled out "Glee" and I had a child, passed out and changed into a panther....I watched Season 3 of True Blood while I've been here...that would explain the panther reference)

This year Three Weeks said "Not only is Sharron Matthews a superstar, she is a force of nature." NATURE PEOPLE!!! And they gave me 4 Stars.

And One4Review handed me a plump 5 Stars...first review of the fest..."This is pure entertainment at it's best. Fabulous!" (Yes, there was an exclamation after 'fabulous'...I didn't add it.)

I did about one million personal appearances and two Best of the Fest shows...and feel promo/publicity sated.

It was amazing and fabulous to perform with the people that I did these Fest shows with...amazing.

All these things I did through a haze of antibiotics and lozenges...suffering from a throat infection ...BUT knowing I would be well soon...believing it! My last week I would be FREE AND FUCKING CLEAR !!!

And then... to top off the whole experience off...today, my last show at the Edfringe 2011... I am sick as a dog.

Again.

I have ANOTHER throat infection.

After a full run of anti-freakin-biotics for the first one.

What the fuck.

I was well for about 3 days in the middle.

Then during my second show this week...I felt the tickle in my throat....my heart sank.

I have been soldiering along...I had to cancel a couple shows...which was really hard to do...but that is life, yes?

I went to the Royal Infirmary for a second time and the doctor said (after recognizing me from a promotional appearance I did earlier...fancy and odd) how lucky I was to get two throat infections...huh...I mentioned that I didn't think luck is the word I'd use....unless you put SUPER CRAPPY in front of it.

So, I have been sick for two weeks of my four...which has been a bit spiritually draining...as lordy as that sounds...but I think you get it.

I rest all day and don't talk ...and then warm up for a couple hours on and off...and then do the show...then come home and go to bed.

As I said...it has been a challenge.

But things have been going so well in SO MANY ways...I just haven't had a chance to see any other work, to participate in an symposiums...I know I know...I am very blessed to be here...it is just disappointing on that front.

When I have been able to do the shows I have had packed to sold out houses...the word of mouth and the promo has been killer...so when I had to cancel... it was just....arg.

No one said it would be easy, yes?

I got myself here...and the situation is what it is...and I made the very best of it...I remind myself constantly that life isn't always perfect situations...it is what you do with what you have been given...but still...challenging.

(Pause here for reflection ....and to do the LAST show...and to go on an adventure...and to be in my room in Edinburgh...with everything packed up and ready to go...and I realize that I have not finished this blog...do I finish it or bury it? Do I just not mention the part of the journey that was really fucking hard this year?)

So, last night, we had a sold out house plus 10 people that we shoved in the back...and, of course, because it is the last show and I got two seconds of voice...there is a really verbal, loud, asshole of a heckler...who I dispatch as quickly as possible...but then about 10 minutes later he reemerges and he says something so awful and unkind...I realize for the first time that I might have to eject his ass...and tell him so...and the audience claps...but I decide to give him some rules if he wants to stay...I see a couple people looking nervous...and I mention to them that this guy...and I point my finger into his face...is nothing...I have worked in bars all my life ...this is nothing...and then the guy becomes quiet...he agrees to the rules...and the show continues...huh...but I have my eye on that motherfucker.

With all the challenges...It is a great show....a really fine night...I am a bit hoarse but I do the very best I can...and I manage to enjoy myself...believe it or not...and at the end this guy...the fucking heckler says "You're a Superstar"...and I stop all sound and say "What the fuck did you just say?"....he says it again...and I look at the audience and say..."They always crawl to me at the end."...big applause...but you know what? It could a gone either way...it really could have...but I was willing to see it through...whatever the ending...this place is a TRIP!!!

I went to the dressing room and had a cry...and then did a TV interview.

Lord.

What a life.

Thank you for it...I really do....but what the fuck...all because I told the world that you think I'm funny...you gotta put me through the ringer....well, you know what Jesus?...WORTH IT!!!

Instead of going out after, Chris (who now has my cholera) Chloe, Rob, Simon (Rob's partner) and I...basically Team Jesus sans Anjali (who has ridden my vocal fader like a Nascar driver...WTG Anjali!) come back to the flat and have fizzy vitamin C's and Chinese take out and go to bed early....because I am not done, bitches.

I have 5 days off to brush off the dust and REALLY rest and then... I TAKE MY SHIT TO LONDON!!!

At this point I would love to heartily thank Team Jesus...Rob who produced the show and made sure every seat was full every night....Chloe who was on the mile along side him every day...flyering like a mofo...Anjali who teched the eff out of the show...and to my dear Cooch, who took care of my ass. He played like a son of a bitch and made me chicken noodle soup. Team Jesus rocked...and I thank them...now we will french kiss LONDON!!!

If you wanna come I would love to have you!!!

My London debut....and I am ready people...primed....and stoked.

After all this practice and rest I will be like a fucking race horse at the starting gate....I can feel it.

GET YOUR TICKETS NOW!!!

The room is smaller...and the tix are selling....Friday Sept 2nd at 10:00pm and Sunday Sept 4th at 7:00pm...and that is it!!!!

Who knows when I will be back?

Go to www.climarproductions.com for info and tix and stuff!!!

This morning...thanks to the FINE people at VisitScotland...Chris and I went on a van tour...Rabbie's Tour...to the Highlands...to the Loch's...to a Whiskey Distillery...though we were knackered...we couldn't wait...and it was FABULOUS!!! The driver and guide, Barney, was fabulous...the tour was very personal and so engaging...a lot of stops and all very different...but never too many....really really fabulous.

And my fave part was, on the way back, Barney pulled off and said "This is not a scheduled stop but we are running on time and there is a farmer's field here with some standing stones in it..."

I have always wanted to see and touch the standing stones...and never have.

Lord.

They are 5000 years old and no one knows why they are there or what they are for...they just are.

I am taking it is a life lesson...okay...I am gonna get lordy...we don't know why it is hard sometimes...it just is...and you deal ...and live....and move on...and celebrate your victories and live through the rest.

LORDY!!!

Here are some pics of our fabu day.

Tomorrow?

LONDON. bitches!!!

Me and Tour Banana

We are on a Grade 9 trip... apparently.

Hermitage Waterfall

Hermitage Waterfall

We are in front of the Stream that we wanted in the picture....

Loch Tay

Chris at the Dewar's Distillery

Chris finds a straight...of course.

OKAY!!! GEORGE!!! FETCHE LA VACHE!!! This is where they filmed "Monty Python's Holy Grail"...I know I spelled the french cow thing wrong...evs.

Standing Stones.

Standing Stones.

A dream come true...

Thank you, Jack Layton

It is 9:30am in Edinburgh...4:30am back home...and I can't sleep.

Until the wee hours last night, I read everything there was to read...looked at all the videos...poured over and lurked on hundreds of Facebook pages, I am sure, in an effort to feel like I was in Toronto...with all my countrymen mourning the death of Jack Layton.

I have heard my George, when he tells me a story about a man or woman in politics that he admires (who works tirelessly with his/her country in mind...not his/er own political gain), use the phrase " he was/is a true son or daughter" of the country.

I don't think there would be many people in Canada who didn't agree that Jack Layton was a true son of Canada.

I saw the news of Mr. Layton's death on Twitter yesterday, and called George on Facetime immediately to talk to him about it...he didn't even know yet...the internet is a powerful thing.

I just could not...still can not believe he is gone.

I was always proud to say, when I lived in East York for 13 years, that I lived in his riding.

I had the great honour of casting a vote for him MANY times...and bragged about it.

Though I am NOT AT ALL a political beast I have talked with George about Jack a lot and I wondered and worried, aloud, if he had the grit and hard side that is needed to be a Prime Minister...then one day I decided maybe he didn't need to be like all the other politicians...he could just be the way he was...and maybe be Prime Minister...what a concept.

He seemed to remain himself through all of his battles, political and otherwise...he didn't change or shape himself to fit the picture of what a politician was...he just continued to be himself...I remember him talking about peace keeping at a time when it was not popular.

He was REALLY changing our country...really.

With heart.

When was the last time you could say that about someone that had worked their way so high in our country's political scheme?

I thought about Trudeau...though I was very young when he was in power...you knew he truly gave a shit about all the Canadians...not just the ones in his party or who voted him in. He gave a shit about the whole country.

And then Jack Layton penned that glorious letter.

Though this may not be a popular statement and I hope to live to be one hundred, I believe there is a sort of grace in having the knowledge that your time is coming...to tell everyone you love them, to tie up lose ends, to really take in your life...

He used part of his time to take us all, Canada, in his loving hands and tell us it will be alright...well, I thank you so much for that time you spent on us...and made us believe that we can carry on...that we need to continue with his legacy...his fight...his quest to make Canada a better place for all.

And I hesitate to write about this here...but it was actually what spurred me to write about Mr. Layton...so I guess I can thank her for one thing...for making me try to turn a negative into a positive.

Christie Blatchford, columnist for the National Post, in horrible taste, wrote an article just hours after his death judging our WHOLE COUNTRY for mourning him in such a public way. I am sure you will now go and read this article...and I encourage it...and then I ask you to have a think about whether you will continue to read her work.

And then I encourage you to read Mr. Layton's letter to us.

Dear Christie Blatchford, Thank you for showing us who you truly are. Now we will take you at your word and believe you. I will never read your published works again. Signed, Sharron Matthews

When I was in my 30's and living "on the Danforth" in Toronto I used to go to Niko's on the corner of Monarch Park and Danforth for their fabu greek food. One day I was sitting by myself eating my greek salad and I looked at the table in the corner...and there was NDP party member for the government of Ontario, Marilyn Churley and sitting with her was Jack Layton.

I got so excited.

Remember...I know nothing of politics and could care less and till now I would only get this excited when seeing Michael Jackson.

They saw my excitement (anyone who knows me would not be surprised by this) and came over and chatted with me for a few minutes before going back to their meals.

I ran home and told George...so excited.

Now, you could say they were just being political animals...maybe so...but I was just a gal sitting alone...and it made me feel like he cared about what I thought...and I loved that.

And meeting him in person was one of the things that made me think..."Why can't he just be Jack and be Prime Minister?"

One person at a time.

Thank you Jack for teaching me this...you gotta change the world one person at a time.

Rest in peace.

This is Peter Tabuns, Marilyn Churley and Jack Layton.

Edinburgh...21 Days...Sublime to the Ridiculous...oh and back to Sublime

This has been a ride, so far, my people.

I don’t know what I expected...but I have learned...when I come to the Edinburgh Fringe...just to arrive with “An empty cup, girl” (Fabu Canadian Music Man -Yes, that is his official title- Orin Issacs, told me that this was the best way to start every week of Canada Sings...no expectations...but with preparation).

You can prepare as much as you want, but you really never know what this place is gonna throw at you.

A new venue...what comes with that? A lot of technical issues (mic broke on the third night...when an important VIP was present...did the first 20 minutes sans mic...and didn’t trust it for the rest of the night...mike stands are effed...bought our own) and the inevitable figuring out of how everyone’s show runs and how to get the audience in and out....on time. And 3 times in the Carlton Hotel, where the cabaret bar is...the fire alarm has gone off and we have had to evacuate...putting EVERYONE behind.

I have had a couple of really big challenges this year, as well...

Firstly, after running the show once in front of the fringe audience...the show didn’t seem right...it seemed ALMOST right...but not quite there...and I decided that instead of feeling that way for the whole run, I would work on it...change it...find the right way to tell my story...well, that took about 4 nights of performing (and days of rehearsing) to figure out...there is NOTHING like fixing your show in front of a paying international audience to give you hives.

But I REALLY wanted it to be right.

And when it was FINALLY right...boy, it was an awesome feeling! But the feelings getting there...very, very hard...it laid me low for a couple days...but I kept working and doing the personal apprearances and promo gigs...and....lordily...believing...what else are you gonna do?

But I got it...I figured it! I did...and fuck, it was worth the work to get there. (Still makes me a bit pukey to think of putting in a new section every night for 4 nights till I got it right...pukey, people)

Then, I woke up the 6th day...with a sinus infection.

Lord.

I went straight to the Royal Infirmary...and they gave me some antibiotics...but I was still singing on a sick throat for a couple days...AND one night in the show I felt like I had been dunked in a pool of water. Fever...no fever...fever.

So, I have lived like a bit of a monk to make sure I can sing my shows and my PA gigs.

So, only A FEW challenges.

AND we waited for the ever important reviews.

And it was taking FOREVER.

People will not come unless they know about your reviews...they just won’t.

And all anyone wants is a good Scotsman review...it is the most important paper. I couldn’t even get them to come out to see my show last year...AT ALL!!

I told my producer not to tell me when or if they were coming.

And they came...one of my “I am putting in a new part” nights.

And he didn’t tell me....god bless his soul.

So, then next day, a bit bummed about the lack of reviews and about my sick body, I asked Cooch to come with me to look for a pair of high heels for the show...and after we found them....

Aren’t they gorgeous?

...we were sitting and eating Subway sandwiches....yes, a Subway sandwiches...and I get a call from my producer asking me if I can be at a photo shoot in full make up and costume...in one hour...for the Scotsman.

They won’t tell him what the review is going to say...but they ask for me to come to the photoshoot anyway.

Lord.

I strapped on my high heels and hit the streets of Edinburgh.

Fun...but what the fuck was the review going to say?

I did my best to forget about it...impossible...and did the show.

The next morning I could hear my producer, Rob, pacing in front of my bedroom door...yes, we all share very clean and nice student accomidations, my friends...so he was just next door...and when I got up he was standing in front of my door holding this...

My legs could not hold me.

And it was a 4 Star review...from the Scotsman...my show was named one of the “Best of the Fest”...asked to perform at special afternoon show featuring other artists with given the same distinction...holy fuck .

My producer all but exploded with happiness...I was just amazed...and shocked.

Then things started to happen.

Other great reviews, promoters coming out, big audiences....a show that is hitting a joyous stride, for me, anyhow.

Yes, I am tired people....exhausted, even.

But I am feeling good...in my spirit and my heart.

And yesterday, I taped my show.

And for this occasion, all the people I knew who were coming to Scotland were actually present and in the audience...Mike Bickerton, John Austin, Chris Lorway, Rachel Neuberger, Anne Barnshaw, my cousins Deb and David...and a sold out audience...it was glorious. Lord, the time Cooch and I had. It was magic.

I cried like a baby after, alone, as I got changed.

I just felt like I had come over a mountain.

I love the challenge of coming here...but make no fucking mistake...it is a challenge.

And then we Canadians danced...meeting up with the young and talented Shawn Hitchens and the dishy, Clyde Wagner....and went to as many gay bars as we could.

One bar was called “CCBlooms”...after Bette Midler’s character in Beaches...Cooch didn’t know what it meant...lord...but WE DANCED!!!

I had such a great fucking time...and tonight...I sleep....and tomorrow...I start again.

6 more shows...who knows what they hold?

I do know one thing though...I am NEVER going anywhere without George again.

Never...I think our time apart rule will be three hours...until he gets really sick of me...and then it will be 6...but that is it!

Gods the GAY BARS were FUN!! SEE?!?!??

(Thanks to Cooch, John, Bicks and Clyde Wagner for the pics!!!)

My appearence on chat show "Edinburgh Tonight" with Joe Simmons and Lorraine Chase....and accompanied by the handsome Chris Tsujiuchi

Subtle differences between Canada and Scotland

I have a sinus infection.

Glamourous.

Have had to cancel some promotion appearances..,but still am experiencing packed houses thanks to Team Jesus on the Mile, people.

OH! And last night after my audience was brought in there were 8 people who said they wanted tickets...our box office said I was sold out...and then a melee began. With fists and all.

It made me feel not scared...but super fancy.

Okay...

So I couple of days ago, at the start of the sinus thingie, I went to the Royal Infirmary and got some drugs...here is where I experienced one of the many subtle differences between Canada and Scotland.

When one gets an antibiotic in Canada we are told, "Take with food and Do not drink alcohol "

When one gets and antibiotic in Scotland you are told, "Take an hour before meals and (my fave part) try not to have more than one or two drinks."

You gotta love the Scots.

Cooch's Video Diary of Edinburgh Part One!

Thanks to Chris for making this...it is fun as hell!!!

Sharron and Cooch, Day 6 Edfringe. Dirty. But only our clothes!!

Promo Gigs, Blister, Canada Sings, Margaret Cho wants to shop and first 5 Star review!

Oh my lord, people!

What a THREE, yes, read only THREE, days it has been so far!

After the first PACKED preview I went home and changed a medley into a mashup! I did...like magic...Jesus magic.

This was the line up for Day 2

1. Go to the Mile for two hours to meet the people and hand out flyers. (Success)

2. Go to Edinburgh Tonight and do a promo spot (Successful, I think)

3. Look at the Festival Pull Out section in the Scotsman (Auntie Pat told me it is Scotland's most fancy paper.) and look at the article that I WROTE about cabaret...here is the link!!!

http://www.edinburgh-festivals.com/viewpreview.aspx?id=2477

It was so fancy...that I freaked out...it is in the middle...the very middle!!! (SUPER SUCCESS)

4. Do my show...oh yes, there is that! (Gonna stop rating all the activities here)

5. And then I did a midnight promo gig that turned into me going on at 3:00amish...I sang Bohemian Rhapsody and there was a drunk woman in the front row who just made my life very special...she was like a gift. I just kept pausing and looking at her...shaking my head...and then continuing on.

The thing I really love about these promo gigs is that you meet artists that you have never met before...see them do there thing...and then you do your thing...and word of mouth happens...maybe a cross promotion. Everyone is quite supportive here. You have to be.

For the record, on Day 2, I got up about 9:00am and made it to be at 4:00am.

So, when I woke up the morning of Day Three....me tired. It is rainy. I feel a bit sicky.

It stresses me out...because the list for Day Three is....

1. Gotta pick up some stuff for the show at Princes Mall. (Fake Uggs so I don't have sock lines when I change at my venue into my heels....judge me if you will, bitches.)

2. Gotta do a promo at "The New Town" which is a benefit for Waverly Centre....fabu Gay Bar...filled with dishy Gays. LOVE. (This promo is at 6:30pm....so we ram ourselves into the car to make it for my ....

3. 8:05pm Show that the Space....I hear there is a reviewer going to be there...no time for dinner/fuel....suck it up Matthews.

4. 8:10pm....my stomach tells me that I need to eat....while I am onstage...I spend a couple seconds of silence negotiating with my stomach.

"I will give you a couple pieces of pizza later if you just SUCK IT UP for an hour, stomach".

"Alright....but don't go off on a rant...I will make you forget the rest of the show, Rest of Sharron"

"Fair enough, Stomach...may I continue?"

"Please do"

5. Finish the show....it went amazingly...thank god...

6. Sell a couple CD's and while I do a young and beautliful blond girl comes up to me...keep in mind that some of my show is about how I learn to accept myself the way I am...she gives me a little squeezy ball...that I think people use to calm themselves...and she barely speaks english...she says, very haltingly that she would like me to keep this...because she used to hate the way she looked in the mirror...and that this squeezy ball always helped. It has clearly been well loved...I am humbled...what a lovely thing. If I wasn't so fucking tired I woulda had a cry...here it is...

But I couldn't cry because I had to go to....

7. Promo gig at 10:00pm at the Udderbelly 2...a Musical Comedy Night...I was interested to see what I was gonna see...OH it bears or does it bare...I never get that right...anyway...I gotta tell you...because I have spent a lot of time walking I managed to get a blister...that has turned into some kind of war wound...so now...I a trying to not limp around in my high heels...or my frye boots...so I put on my rain coat...still raining...and we shove ourselves into Rob's (fabu producer) car and off we go...Rob tends not to believe what the GPS is telling us so we get a bit lost...and there are three yelling accents in the car....Welsh...North London....Etobicokian...and me with my hands over my ears. WE make it. Get rockstar parking. And in we go.

There are a lot of duo comedy acts here...and there are 4 of them in this show...it is an interesting gig.

More really nice people...my fave are the hosts "Horse and Louis" who are doing a free gig (there are a ton of them) at Laughing Horse - ESpionage. I will be going.

8. We go to a pizza place. WE get a pizza... I tell my stomach it is on it's way. Then I fall into a mouth open coma/sleep.

Holy fuck doodles.

So, today, I am taking it easy....writing to all of you who might wanna read!

Also today...I woke to two very awesome pieces of internet info.

Our friend, Michael Hughes...decided to write Margaret Cho on the Twitter...Cho is here in Edinburgh, doing her show and looking for a shopping mate...

So, I woke to my email telling me that Margaret Cho wrote me on Twitter...what the fuck....

I have written her back...we shall see what develops...I am gonna try and get her to my show!!!

AND I got my first 5 STAR (they love the stars over here...it seems to matter more than the content of the review...I heard someone exclaim yesterday "It reads like a five!") review today!!!

YAY!!!

Here it is....

One4Review

5 stars

*****

7th August show.

Sharron is the only person I’ve seen who personally welcomes every audience member as they come in to their show. She is incredibly affable and sets everyone at ease, it’s almost like she’s welcoming you into her home.

This sets up an all-too-quick hour of fabulous singing and anecdotes. Sharron has a huge vocal range and covers all styles and genres, sometimes in the same phrase. Yet it’s not over-used – her voice is beautiful, honest and sometimes deeply emotional and a joy to listen to.

She has the whole audience in tears of laughter one second, then in complete silence for the next song. Absolutely delightful. Add to that the spot-on musicianship of Chris Tsujiuchi who is clearly enjoying himself on piano – this is pure entertainment at it’s best. Fabulous! - Alan

Here is a link to the review proper....

http://one4review.wordpress.com/2011/08/08/sharron-matthews-superstar-jesus-thinks-im-funny/

I want to take this moment to thank Rob and Chloe, Rob's assistant, for working so hard all day to fill the houses. And they are filled, people. Packed.

And Chris...he is so fabu to have along...so fabu...and a true supporter...onstage and off...and he plays like a dream.

I couldn't be happier...I am going to take a nap right now!!!

The only thing missing?

George.

OH!!!!

And DON'T Forget!

This WEdnesday at 9:00pm Canada SINGS is on for the second week....

Just Energetics vs. Toronto Fire Fighters.....

OOHHH.....Christian and I worked with the Just Energetics...a super eclectic, talented and diverse team. Super positive problem solvers...and all round good people! Hard working people!!! GO JUST ENERGETICS!!!

Here they are!!!

First Preview Day at Edfringe 2011...same hair, exploding music stand and "HOW CAN YOU NOT KNOW STYX!

So after taking a long a beautiful walk around Arthur's seat today....

(I got over the show whilst I power walk...really...do some of my best work here, people) so, after the walk i began to crap my pants...and this is usual people...no need for alarm...ask George. Poor husband man.

This is the moment when I don't feel like I have prepared enough...and it makes me sick in the tummy...but I did my best to take care of that by going to my fave bargain store on Nicholson Street (Wayne and Derrick will know it) called Edinburgh Bargain...I got a stool last year (for my show...not poo) last year that took me 4 hours to assemble.

This year I just got a light bulb and a big salad bowl.

But it filled the hole.

I went to the mile for 2 hours today and chatted with people and handed out flyers...oh the people I met!!!

From EVERYWHERE!!!

Team Jesus worked their collective asses off today.

Rob and Chloe went to the mile at 11:00am and stayed until just before the show with a small break...god bless...Chloe all being awesome on the IPAD (with the fabu viewing pack made my none other that kilt maker extraordinaire, Robert Pel....the IPAD is stocked with my vids...a lot of people commented on it. (GREAT idea George).

And by showtime...I felt great...who knew how many we would have.

But, thanks to TEAM JESUS, it was packed!!! PACKED!!!

It is always weird to load in for the first time...because it is all so new and you really have a VERY SPECIFIC period of time to get it all together...and it was a bit of chaos...but it went really smoothly...so any awesome people!!! Cousin's Deb and Paul were there...my cousins by marriage...so lovely and supportive...and a bunch of people from "I Love You, Your Perfect..." playing here at the fringe with my Edinburgh buddy on the old FB, Alan Gibson...and a great number of people I have never met before.....love it.

Highlights...during a very tense medley moment...and yes, these do exist...Chris' music stand exploded...it was amazing, really.

And during my highschool medley it became clear that the audience had never heard of Styx or Kiss....WHAT?!?!?

I did this research last year...but I can't believe that they didn't know KISS!! STYX!!!

Gotta do a think on that tomorrow.

But I sold a bunch of Cd's and it went super awesome...I am excited to run this show.

And I had Indian food and too much wine...and met a woman with the same hair style...she was 20...suck it young people...I can rock it too!!!

BED!!!

Thanks to Team Jesus!!!

Another day and another ....day.

Night all!

Junk Notes vs. Zooperstars & Sharron v.s Being a Million Miles Away

Lord.

I didn't think I would watch it.

It is 2:00am in the morning in Scotland...and I am doing my tech tomorrow for my show at the Edinburgh Fringe (for all of you who may have not been playing along so far) and I need sleep.

So, about 1:00am I knock on the door of my piano player, Chris and say, "You need to call your young friends who are tech savvy and help me set up a TV to Skype to Scotland date.

He jumped to, god bless him.

We worked on it for 25 minutes before a former student of mine from Sheridan College agreed to do it...for 2 free coachings for his 3rd year Pop Critique. I offered...I think he might have done it without...but you gotta make it worth someone's while, right?

Worth it.

Worth it.

I was so red in the face when it started...I sat with my stage show producer, Rob and Chris, the aforementioned...yes, I said it...piano player and friend...I felt so far away...but skype is freaky...it brought me right to Canada.

Now, you all have to know that the coaches have seen almost no footage from the show.

We don't even really know how the other coaching team works...or what they are like on camera...how they run their rehearsals..nothing.

We only really know our team and our rehearsal days...except the sneak peek...which goes by in a nanosecond and you can only see the tape once....ONCE, I tell you!!!

This is high pressure stuff, people!!!

Christian, my trusty partner and friend, and I never knew what to expect....I was so happy to see all these people from Got Junk audition...they were all from different parts of the company and some of them barely knew each other.

The worked their tales off....EVERY ONE of them.

And they had some mad natural skills...and the number was tailor made for them.

Christian and I came up with the concept, and picked the songs together...I do the arrangements and he the choreo.

I love working with him...he is talented man...and super kind.

I am so bleeping tired but I am so happy that I got to see it.

I am glad that I met and worked with all these fab people!!!

Graham and his man UGGS...and his beautiful children.

Tim and his quiet way...and fabu talent.

Erin and her tenacity....so proud of her...she is inspiring.

All the Junk Notes....Andrew, Jeff, Chantel, Zara, Sheila, Scott, Lisa, Yoro...I LOVE YOU GUYS and I COULD NOT BE PROUDER!!!

But this lassie ( booooo bad cultural reference) has got to let her sleeping pill kick in and go to bed!!!

I can't wait to see what next week holds...

Congrats to Kelly and Scott and the Zooperstars!!! Great work you guys!!!

I am watching you, Kelly and Scott.

Thanks to Insight, Global...the fabulous crew and every person we worked with every day....it was really the dream job to end all dream jobs.

CANADA SINGS ROCKS!!!

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Scotland and Canada Sings!

Made it...I fucking made it.

Made it...I fucking made it.

So, I lay in the bed at Rob and Simon's flat in Blackheath, just outside of London proper...near Greenwich (posh...and not spice, people).

Rob is my producer on this weird and wild, second time back to Crazytown, EdFringe adventure....(please remember as I go farther in this blog that I have had a melatonin and an allergy pill...two words...awe some.)

I am filled with an odd sense of calm as well as accomplishment.

I made it to the first leg of my journey.

Just getting here is half the battle...the raising of the funds, the writing of the show, the producing of the previews, the conversing across the ocean on many types of devices, the decisions, the arranging (not to mention the million other things I cannot think of right now...due to the drugs) are all time consuming.

Really, I feel happy as shit that I made it this far.

Chris is very excited and it has filled me with excitement, as well.

When we got on the plane we found ourselves side by each...shoved into seats the size of a barbie chairs.

But that is a charter...and I sure was happy for the price (thank you, Pablo)...but Chris is a big, tall guy....this was bullshit.

I pulled aside the high functioning and clearly not-having-any-of-it stewardess queen...and asked her, ever so kindly, if she would mind if Chris moved to the empty seat in the middle...which clearly had more leg room...i didn't have much hope...but you an only ask, right?

Well, she looked pinched and said....well, let me see what I can do....(read, go fuck yourself, ginger).

But then a couple minutes later she came by and whispered, "I am not going to ask you to pay for this, but I don't want to make the people who had to mad....so just go along....( LOUDER) So, I will move your friend here and then I will grab your money when I come through for duty free." Wink.

Well, my belief in humanity and the kindness of high functioning agressives has been restored.

Thank you, Jesus.

The flight was lovely.

The border was pleasant.

The pick up lovely (thank you, Simon).

And then I fell asleep in my clothes for three hours.

Chris and I will make our way to Edinburgh tomorrow...and I am very excited.

I have a huge line up of things to do...but in a way that I hope is not filled with hubris...I feel like I am going somewhere I know...that I fit in...that I know some of the ropes...and the people.

I am very excited. Did I mention that?

That all being said...I was filled with happiness today...and part of it was thankfulness to all the people who helped to get me here last year...the inroads that we made are priceless...to Derrick Chua and Wayne Gwillim, who I will miss this year.

Fucking busking.

To the donors this year...THANK YOU!!!

To the donors last year...THANK YOU!!!

I am excited to see what this years adventure holds...wait...the melatonin is really kicking in....gotta go.

Love

Y'all.

Shar

Oh ya...this year I bought a proper rain coat!

Jesus Thinks I'm Funny Teaser!

Pirate/Bootleg of Final Jesus Encore...

One of my Lovelies in the audience took this pirate vid of my encore at Buddies on July 24th...my final preview!!
LOVE IT!!! SPREAD THE SUPERSTAR WORD!!! MG SUPERSTAR!!! You know who you are!

Jesus Use Me. WHAT?

I made it home...in 3 and half hours...

The subtitle to this should be..."Will I really have another vodka cooler?"

Don't high school girls drink vodka coolers?

And then I remember the day I was sent sides for an audition and I thought I was auditioning for the teenager...and it ended up that I was called for the "young" mom.

I was 21.

How embarrassing was that?

See what happens when I have Vodka Coolers?

I am a bit giddy/maudlin right now...which is an interesting mix...oddly enough.

I decided to come back to Stratford to get some work done...George is fancy-shakespearing it at the park so he couldn't come back with me.

Oh, I didn't capitalize the s in shakespeare to honour the person who walked up to me when I hosted the Doras and said, whilst...yes, I said it... whilst looking down their nose at me...that it was the Stratford Shakespeare Festival...not the Stratford Festival.

Well.

It was just rehearsal for eff's sake.

This same person accepted an award two years ago at the Doras...and walked away from the mic pontificating "Aren't we professional actors....can't we speak properly without a mic?"...whilst looking down his nose...at all of us.

Well.

Hm...will I have another vodka cooler?

Anyway, it is dark and here I sit....

Do you know how long it took me to rotate this picture?....wow.

Anyhow, it took three and half hours to get here.

The traffic stopped on the 427 for fucks sake...which is a 10 minute walk from my TO sublet for those of you who are not from TO....I went off road, bitches...I navigated with my blackberry and the compass on my car...because I am fancy that way....yes, it took a long time...but it was a gorgeous drive.

I am presently on my back deck....like in the above picture...but it is quite dark now.

Anyhow, I wrote this so I could show you this...

My friend, Lori...in Belgium...fancy...sent this album cover to me.

Oh my god...I would love to mash this with something.

But!!!

My show is finished.

And I am a week away from my two previews at Buddies...will you come?

I talk about Jesus...Lady Gaga...Michael Jackson...a 7 foot drag queen...Jesus...the captain of the football team from highschool (before I was a 'young' mom...that sounds wrong...) and so many more.

I am really excited and quite proud of the show I am gonna do...and I would love you all to see it first!

So, if you got time next weekend...come down and I will polish off my heels and my foul language...

The fun we will have....

Where is that last cooler...

SHARRON'S Summer Webisode PART ONE

SHARRON's Summer Webisode PART TWO!!!

Dear World, I met Donny Osmond.

Can you take it?

That is me, DONNY OSMOND, and Maureen Riley.

I love the first pic because Maureen is gazing ever so lovingly at him...

Maureen and I had planned to meet for drinks last night a while ago...and then when I got offered tickets to the show I wondered if she would like to come...maybe she would not be into it.

Here is our email exchange....

Dear Maureen,

Holy poo.

I hope this excites you as much as me...but my friend offered me AWESOME tickets to the fricken'

Donny and Marie opening tomorrow night!!! Wanna meet me at the Four Seasons Opera thingie place at 7:25pm tomorrow night ?

(There is also a party after...we might meet them...)

Shar xoxo

Sent from my crackberry.

Sharron,

Ummmmmmm. Yes please!!!! This is effing awesome.

Done and done.

See you there.

Thanks!!

M

Sent from C3PO ...

I loved most of all that her email came to me from C3PO.

So, we met out front of the fabulous Four Seasons Opera Place...I have never been in there before and TOTALLY love that the first thing that I am seeing there is DONNY AND FREAKIN' MARIE!!!

Maureen was dressed as a fashionable girl about town, of course, and I was dressed like Susan Anton in the 70's....look it up if you will.

We were both very excited.

Got my AWESOME tickets, from my dear friend Grant, and was in line behind Marilyn Dennis...in my head I went all high status for a second and wanted to remind about when I met her last year at "love, loss and what I wore" and try to get my ass on her TV show to promote MY TV show and Buddies previews of my UK show (Which is on July 23rd and 24th...don't forget...here is the link for online tickets... http://www.ticketweb.ca/sn l/Search.action?query=sharron+matthews+superstar

or call $16 975 8555...see what I did there?) but I didn't want to make a big ass of myself just before the show and have to suffer through the shame for the entire show.

Maureen and I got to our seats and met a lot of peeps from the business... Sean Tasson from the St. Lawrence, Kevin Levesque (the fabulous Miss Conception), Paul Bellini, Kelly Cameron from Broadwayworld.com...so many people...

Maureen and I both decided that if they sang a " A Little Country, A Little Bit Rock and Roll" we would shit our pants.

The lights went down and the young and talented Jeff Madden came was introduced by Aubrey Dan to sing the anthem...I love that...he sang it like a bird, of course.

And then the count down to the show started...we all participated ( you know how I love the participation) and the curtains opened and there they were at the top of a sparky staircase...in sparkly clothes.

DONNY AND MARIE.

It bears mentioning here that I watched every episode of their TV show.

Saw every show that they did at the CNE, as well as the Osmond Brothers.

I owned their barbie dolls.

I loved Donny and Marie...well, mostly Donny...but Marie as well.

These people put on a show...VEGAS STYLE!!!

There was lots of shiny things...dancers...projections...high heels...purple outfits...

One of my fave things was a mash up that Marie did of "Walk This Way" by Aerosmith into "Boots are Made For Walkin"...while playing a specially made glittery guitar with a big silver M on the front..and she wore a sparkly ( love the sparkles) cowboy hat...and then she had minions come onstage after and change her shoes while she talked...and give her water...she guzzled the whole bottle (I have done this same thing...cabaret shit is universal...and I love it.) and then threw the empty bottle in the wings and said, "You thought that mormons couldn't drink."....oh Marie...now, I love you even more.

The best part was...they sang their ASSES OFF!!!

There really did...I was throughly charmed, impressed and won over...not that it was a long journey...I do love them.

She did the first solo set and his was in the second act...he did "Close Every Door"...he sang "Go Away Little Girl" and "Puppy Love"...and the cougs in the front rows were freaking...and so were the cougs that were sitting in our two seats...I heard someone singing along near me when I realized it was Maureen.

He also did a rocking, singing and dancer version of the Osmond's "Crazyhorse" and a lovely ballad he wrote for his son.

He was also awesome AND personable AND sang the shit out of everything.

Then they sat on stools and sang all of their duets..."I'm Leavin' It All Up To You"..."Make The World Go Away" ....and others...it needs to be said here that I never really thought about how weird these songs were to be sung by a brother and sister until this moment....I had a moment of pondering and then I remembered...IT WAS FREAKING DONNY AND MARIE!!! WHO FUCKING CARES!?!?!?

I was thoroughly, musical, entertainment....ly....spent at the end....SPENT I TELL YOU!!!

Maureen and I did not shit our pants when they sand "Little Bit Country..." but we ALMOST did.

And they closed their show with the song that they sang at the end of their TV show...and we both held hands and cried.

Amy, from Flip Publicity, who was sitting behind us said that we were a very entertaining part of the evening...your're welcome, I say.

Maureen and I dragged our asses (and our free posters) across the street to the Hilton for the party...because Maureen was getting her pic with Donny....I was shy and unsure...yes, I was...you guys don't know EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!!!

Anyways...we waited with Avery Saltzman (founder of the Harold Green Jewish Theatre) and his fabu partner Kevin...Avery...that ass...told me that I wasn't writing on my blog enough...so here it is you son-of-a-bitch...and while my back was turned Donny walked in the room and Avery disappeared...he and Donny had done "Joseph" together...and Avery is trying to book Donny for a fundraiser...so I didn't mind.

And then Maureen grabbed my hand and said..."We are getting our picture"....side note....please look in any publicity stills from the party...Maureen is cagily wandering around in the back of ALL OF THEM...and then she put herself in front of him and said "Can you please do a shot with us?"...He, of course, says yes, because he is a lovely guy...a really lovely guy...and I begin to stammer and make an ass of myself...but I don't care...I got my fucking picture with Donny Osmond....thanks, Maureen!!!

Go and see this show...it is so much fun...I have never given so many standing ovations in one night.

THANKS DONNY AND MARIE!!

And Maureen!!!

How mad the "How to Spot A Dud at the Fringe Festival" article in the STar made me..

.

This article (below) was posted on the Toronto Star Online today.

I am actually copying it onto this page because it has become VERY HARD to find it now at the Toronto Star Online...I hope it is because the paper is embarrassed.

It is like the writer is encouraging patrons and audience members to NOT come to the theatre...to not be adventurous or have independent thought when choosing a play or musical to see at the festival...to only go to pieces that are endorsed by critics...to not take a chance on something different...to basically go against the whole spirit of what the festival is.

It is ALSO like the writer is turning artists away from trying something new, exciting, dangerous or inde-freakin-pendent.

Have any of us had the good luck to stumble on a show that was unexpectedly interesting or found a show that featured a performer who was amazing in a piece that was may not...by accident?

I have added my thoughts to the article below each part...my thoughts are in italics.

How to spot the duds at the Fringe festival

By Bruce DeMara Entertainment Reporter

Jul 02, 2011

1. Avoid dramaturgy. References in the program attesting that the production has been “dramaturged” are almost always a bad sign. Dramaturgy is the process of having an author’s original work savagely dissected by fellow artists and reinterpreted in ways that make it a contradictory, irretrievable mess. Fringe productions should be fresh, spontaneous feats of derring-do. If you have to dramaturge the darn thing, do it post-Fringe. Dramaturgy often means turgid drama.

SM: Seeing the word Dramaturgy might mean that the playwright went to a professional dramaturg, of which Toronto has many fabulous examples ...Iris Turcott, Stephen Colella, Mary Francis Moore...for help to make their show tighter, more concise, have a better flow...for many reasons.

I also didn't know that the definition of Dramaturgy was "having an author's original work savagely dissected by fellow artists, etc..." I think professional dramaturgs would disagree.

2. Even decent shows can be a downer if they’re in a crappy venue. So imagine you’re leafing through the program when a show grabs your interest: Low Riders, a semi-autographical musical featuring a troupe of transsexual ex-biker “little people.” Your finger hastily scrolls down to check times and venues and — argh! — it’s at Theatre Passe Muraille’s Backspace (an airless box up a long flight of stairs) or the Factory Theatre Studio (down some stairs, then up some more to another uninspired space) or the Helen Gardiner Phelan Playhouse (hard to spot from the street, even more stairs, a few odd turns and a so-so theatre if you’re lucky enough to find it). Other venues can be even less promising. The Ladies Polar Room at the College Street United Church? Venues in church basement settings often feature ancient living-room furniture with broken springs as seating.

SM: At the Edinburgh Fringe last year there were fabulous and INVENTIVE shows in a VW Van, a public toilet and a swimming pool. I have attended fabulous, intimate pieces at both the TPM backspace and the Factory Theatre Studio space. It is the Fringe...not the freaking Winter Garden. We have a limited number of spaces in Toronto. If someone would like to help the theatres get funding to build more, I am sure we would be all for it...but we are creative and work with what we got. That is why we are artists.

3. “Minimalist” production values. No set, no lighting, no costumes. Just two actors on a bare stage, morphing between characters with baffling rapidity. Three steps stage left (or right, it doesn’t matter) apparently denotes a scene change. A change in facial expression, voice or body language would help. Or how about putting on a hat or using a prop to indicate you’ve gone from playing a 7-year-old girl to an ancient Phoenician god? We love theatre but we’re not mind readers.

SM: I find this highly offensive. Maybe the artist cannot afford a set, lights, costumes or props...maybe the artist is new to the business and does not have the contacts to outsource these things...that is what the fringe is for...for the audience to use their imaginations. For artists who might have no other chance to have their shows produced in a space like the Tarragon or TPM. Also, does the writer realize that there are very tight change overs between shows...and artists cannot afford the time to put up a complicated set...sometimes it is 10 minutes. And "change in facial expression"?...Please.

4. Overly ambitious productions. A program that promises an “eclectic multimedia blend of theatre, dance, music, puppetry, visual art and feminist dub poetry” is sending out multiple warning signs.

SM: Our artistic options are getting smaller and smaller. I WISH I could write my dance, theatre, multi media, puppet piece with some feminist stuff in it...that would be fucking awesome.

5. Cheap sets, i.e. those made of Styrofoam, cardboard, etc. Sure, Fringe productions are cheap, dirt cheap. But, with the odd exception, a set that appears to be constructed of material from a discount art supply store or from the detritus of an overturned garbage can is rarely a promising sign.

SM: Again, as with #3, I find this highly offensive. How do you know what an artist can afford...or what we can do with an overturned garbage can? Haven't you seen "Stomp"?

6. One name everywhere. Writer/director/producer/actor/lighting and costume designer. If one name is ubiquitous throughout the program, someone is usually spreading themselves very thin, too thin for the result to be enjoyable. Steer clear.

SM: Maybe they could use a dramaturg.

7. A variation of No. 6. Two names everywhere. Or three. Two or three co-writers, co-stars, co-directors, co-producers, etc. will often result in much backstage back-stabbing and in-fighting for creative control. Tension is so often the fuel that makes live theatre crackle with energy. Just not this kind of tension.

SM: What the eff does this mean? This just sounds stupid. And this is a stupid, gross generalization. It isn't like people are cutting each others throats backstage...this isn't "Showgirls".

8. Flyers. Whether you’re standing in line or lounging at the Fringe Club behind Honest Ed’s, strangers will try to force you to take promotional material for upcoming shows. It may be as humble as an uneven square of plain white paper with blurry lettering or as slick as multi-coloured laminated cardboard. (Your pockets, purse or backpack will soon be stuffed with them. They will seem to multiple like rabbits.) It gets tricky because sometimes the cheapest promo material turns out to be for the best shows and the fanciest ones are for the biggest duds. Look for excerpted reviews, e.g., “Best of Edinburgh Fringe 2010.” And ask around. Fellow theatre lovers are great at sharing both hot picks and train wrecks.

SM: Yes, we must only go to shows that are suggested by reviewers or claimed to be "Best of...".

How the fuck else do you expect to artists to sell their shows? With ads in papers? With billboards. Everyone knows they will get a flyer at the fringe.

This article seems to mock the very spirit of the amazing Toronto Fringe Festival.

I think Bruce DeMara owes an apology to the Toronto Fringe.

I, with the generous help of many donors, took my show to the mother of all Fringe's last year...the Edinburgh Fringe. I spent an amazing three weeks there and was very proud to trumpet how fantastic our Toronto Fringe was and is.

I saw many shows...the best were the ones that were independent...not promoted by a large producer... had a crappy space (I saw one performer who did her show with a full band on a stage the size of a postage stamp and had duct work right over her head)...had no set...could only afford to bring themselves...was written, produced and performed by the same artist.

Please, Toronto Fringe audience members, pay no attention to this article and be brave and make bold choices about what you are gonna see.

I bet you will be pleasantly surprised.

The Toronto Fringe runs July 6 to 17. Info at fringetoronto.com

Postscript (P.S. I have never officially written a postscript before so please excuse if this is not appropriately fancy)

I have received many emails and comments about this post...which always makes me happy...mostly because it means someone is actually reading my shit. Also because it means that people give a shit about the arts.

I received such an email from a writer from the newspaper in which the offending article occurred. This writer has supported me greatly whenever I have asked for a boost (and it has always been greatly appreciated). I feel it would be only right to do the same kindness. The writers at this newspaper are not allowed to comment on each others articles but this writer wanted me to know that they had nothing to do with the writing of this article, and actually spent a great deal of time opposing it. This same writer felt quite embarrassed that it appeared at all.

Mostly, I am very happy that all of our thoughts about this article have not gone unnoticed and maybe, next time, it will not be written at all. Let us go to these features instead that take about the great things to expect from the fringe.

http://www.toronto.com/article/691255--10-freakiest-shows-of-the-2011-toronto-fringe-festival

http://www.nowtoronto.com/guides/fringe/2011/story.cfm?content=181546

http://www.nowtoronto.com/guides/fringe/2011/story.cfm?content=181543

http://www.nowtoronto.com/guides/fringe/2011/story.cfm?content=181542