Well, I guess that trip to Scotland was lucky.....

There we are.....in Stirling Castle... in our thrones...in Scotland....which worked out well... since it was announced today that George will be playing Rob Roy in David Warracks' new musical 'Rob Roy' that is touring to Chicago and then back here to Toronto!
And I will also be in it...yes I will... I am making a appearance on the musical theatre stage!
Here is the article......

Rob Roy's legend lives on with new musical

JEFF VINNICK FOR THE TORONTO STAR

Len Cariou, shown here near is Vancouver home Sept. 30, 2008, is pegged to direct 'Rob Roy,' slated to play the Elgin Theatre in March 2009.

Nov 26, 2008 04:30 AM

Richard Ouzounian

theatre critic

One of the greatest heroes of Scottish history is the subject of a new Canadian musical opening this winter in a major production scheduled to play Chicago and Toronto.

Rob Roy, with book, music and lyrics by David Warrack, will open at the Elgin Theatre on March 23, following a six-week run at Chicago's Arie Crown Theatre, beginning Feb. 3.

The show will be directed by Tony Award-winning actor Len Cariou. The Canadian actor was last seen locally as the embattled ex-president in Frost/Nixon for the Canadian Stage Company.

Robert Roy MacGregor was a famous outlaw who fought against English tyrrany and became an almost mythical figure to the people of Scotland before his death in 1734.

He was immortalized by Sir Walter Scott in his 1817 novel and has been the subject of numerous plays, operas and films, the most recent being the 1995 movie starring Liam Neeson.

Warrack's epic musical will feature a cast of 24 and an orchestra of 10, with George Masswohl in the title role.

Other prominent cast members include Torontonians David Dunbar, Sharron Matthews, Mark Harapiak, Elizabeth Beeler, Cory O'Brien, Ian Deakin and Stephanie Roth.

The project has been in gestation for some time; Warrack took an earlier, smaller one-act version to the Edinburgh Festival in 2006 where it received favourable reviews.

"The world is always ready to hear the story of a heroic individual," Warrack told the Star, "and the troubled times we're in right now call for it more than ever."

A CD of the score as well as a songbook were released in 2007.

Eight of the original cast members featured on the recording are continuing in this production.

Rob Roy is being produced by Prydwyn Productions with Bernie Abrams and Hugh Cameron serving as executive producers, and Mitchell Schmieding as the Chicago associate

Well, there you have it!!
It is very exciting... George played the role two years ago at the famed Edinburgh Festival to great acclaim... it has taken two years of steady, back breaking work ... with a CD and a music book produced...... to get this musical on its feet but David Warrack did it.
I applaud him.
I sat in on a couple of backers auditions and I was so enthralled by David's pitch and his heartfelt belief in his project... I think it is very exciting that such a big Canadian written musical is going to be produced in Chicago.
George was at the big press conference down in Chicago at the Arie Crown and he was surprised by the amount of reporters and newspapers who showed up.
He said it was packed.....imagine.. a press conference for a musical...Packed.... ahhh....
I will be playing Annabelle, the narrator and I will step in and out of a few different characters as I help to tell the story.
And Len Cariou... I mean really!!!
George worked with him on 'Showboat' many years ago.. and learned some choice new ....expressions... shall we say .. from him on the golf course.....
Len is a fabulous actor.. the original Sweeney Todd... and Fredrich in Night Music to name just a few things... has a long and fabulous movie and stage career and I am very excited....... and just a bit scared.... always good to be a bit scared... to work with him...
He and David have been working very hard to get this all online.
So, That means....yes my friends... with the schedule that is Rob Roy ... This Sharron's Christmas Party will be my last for a while... sigh....
So, get your tickets now for the Friday December 12th (Teresa Pavlined and Ian Simpson) or Saturday December 13th (Jean Stilwel with Patti Loach, and Sarah Strange) .....
@ Tallulah's Cabaret...Buddies in Bad Times Theatre.... because...
A: Christmas is ALWAYS my fave show!
B: Who knows when I will do it again?
So....call 416 975 8555 for tickets...the last show was packed!!!
And here is another little number from Sharron's Birthday Party...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj9QO8zpa0Y

Let us all celebrate Christmas and get into the season in style!!!
I love Christmas!!!

Broadway, Party,.....Other thoughts and bits... Rumours!!!!

Oh my people....what a couple of days....I am all tired and excited....and WINTER!!!....and then I passed out....
The Broadway Show went super good...I was very pleased and the audience was lovely...I love Buddies in Bad Times....my booker was there and it will start to be sold and sent around to theatres all over...that is my hope!!!
There are rumours people....rumours... yes... I do have another job possibly in the offing....but I am just waiting for the final word... I don't like to pop anything before its time... I don't like to jinx....but it is a good one!!!
Ah back on the stage with other people and things...it could be fancy.
So, now that Broadway is done... it is time for my annual Christmas Show... it really is one of my faves... and this year will be extra special...one of dear friends from college is coming up from San Francisco to do the show... and fabulous girl who I first met while doing 'Songs For A New World' will be coming...A fabulous TV star and producer, writer and actress... all in one... and an Opera Diva and her fantastic accompanist ..... you will pee your pants....and laugh... and feel christmas-ie... isn't it times.......I do love it when people bring their groups and alll.....
Anyhow...here is the line up.....

Friday December 12th
Ian Simpson ( Friend from San Fran...oh ya and the US Mamma Mia Tour and Shaw....and Stratford)
Teresa Pavlinek ( Star Actress, Producer and Writer)

Saturday December 13th
Sarah Strange ( Awesome Singer I knew from SFNW)
Jean Stillwell with Patti Loach ( Opera Diva ..she was just starring in War and Peace with COC... and Piano Diva)
It is gonna be effed... it will be so good...

And accompanied by one of my fave players and people
WAYNE GWILLAM!!!!!!
So....it will be ... as usual... at Buddies in Bad Times...Tallulah's Cabaret....8:00pm....call ahead to book...last time was PACKED!!!!
416 975 8555.....

And check out some of my 40th Birthday Party... Party.....
with more to come....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKIM6D35y_c

Prop 8.....

What I know about politics could fit on the back of a matchbook.....I try to read about issues....but I am all anal and virgo-ie.... If I can't see the whole picture....If I don't know the whole story....I don't feel qualified to speak on it or vote on it......I have to know EVERYTHING.....and because I find politics boring.....like REALLY boring.....I cannot be bothered...
Like....when Stephen Harper got re-elected just after he called what I do for a living...A LUXURY....I just was mad and then sad and then felt like there was no way I could effect change...I changed my vote from my NDP party to Liberal because I just didn't want that ass in power again...but then I had to weigh the option of Dion....who I have never understood or thought had any backbone..... in power....it was a hard choice.
Again... I don't know all the issues...I looked around a bit on the interweb and read a paper....
I DON'T Know!!!
But I do know that Stephen Harper helps perpetuate the stereotype of whining, entitled artists.....In the 2000's...I mean really.
But I have to say.... and I don't know why I am a tad embarrassed to admit it....
But I was all over the US race....WHO WASN'T?!
It was a fine, fine piece of theatre...that I thought I knew the end to.....BUT I didn't....they surprised me....I thought we would get all excited and then John McCain would end up in power because...that is the way it goes....but NO!!!!
Yeah!!!
I watched the debates....and I watched the net....very exciting stuff.
And when Obama got up to do his speech....I cried....ya wanna know when?
When he said 'gay and straight'....now I consider myself
'straight but not narrow''....I love the gay community... I work and do some of my shows in the gay community and I feel welcome.
When I saw something about Prop 8 on facebook the next day I had no idea what anyone was talking about....when I got curious and looked into it...I was floored...I COULD NOT believe it....but when I found out where it was...I was surprised and not.....
California has long been a republican stronghold..... all the rich people live there....the Reagans lived....and live there... that kinda says it all for me.
Now....the voted to take down the law that said yes to gay marriage .....
I just don't get it.
There are always kids who have something special on the playground that want to keep it for themselves...but when you got to class...didn't the teacher always say....'You can keep that if you have enough for everyone."
Isn't that what the supreme court justices of California were saying when they passed a law for gay marriage?
The people in charge were saying ' If some can have it....yet some are not allowed it... that is not fair..'
They were changing the laws to make it fair.
And then some people decided that they wanted to keep love, happiness, partnership for themselves.
'You can't have it.'
Why.
Why ?
Who does it hurt?
The church?
God is love.
He made people in his image.
He is one figure...
Maybe God is Bi.
He would want his people to be married.
The world changes....and we must change with it.
I just don't understand why people have to keep things that are beautiful....that should be shared to themselves.
It is selfish and old timey.......and not very christian, I must say.
STEP INTO THE PRESENT, CALIFORNIA!

Do you think.......

Okay...so one of my guilty pleasures.....like REALLY Guilty???
The View.... I tape it.....oh I guess ...PVR it everyday.....I have one thing to ask you guilty pleasure brothers and sisters....
Do you think Joy Behar and Elisabeth (HATE HER) Hasselback have been acting unusually mean and then pretend nice to each other...if you watch... and I know you do....Joy cannot even talk to Elisabeth really.... she doesn't even look down to that end of the table.....
And Sherry Shepard..... fuck... don't get me started....
Thank god for Whoopi....
Just a thought.....
Scroll down for the link to the Trailer for
SHARRON'S BIG BROADWAY SHOW!!!
It is below on the next post....
bye y'all!

Sharron's Big Broadway Show!

So, my loves....
I am doing a NEW....I said....NEW show that I wrote for one night at Buddies....could not be more excited or crapping y shorts more!
I am tired of telling about it....trying to describe it in words....
SO....
Being the Queen of all Internett Media....
I made a....
TRAILER!!!!
Check this out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EgajqfdmCXU

And the show is
November 18th.....TUESDAY .... @ 8:00pm at Buddies in Bad Times

Call 416 975 8555 for TICKETS!!!

Webshow 14 Part Two...Brent, Scotland....Carrots!

So, You guys.... I rambled.....and ate carrots....and posted videos of Scotland....and alll......and it didn't fit on here!!!
So go here on Youtube!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8otHjOczfgk

I hope that you enjoy!
And if you do.... subscribe to my videos....so you never miss ONE!!!!
More later,
Shar

Bumper for the upcoming shows....and then....

You have waited and written ..... and here it is ....
But first .... watch the ' What's Goin' On ? ' trailer below for upcomings stuff......
Then just scroll down!!!!
BELOW!!!!

Sharron's Webshow Episode 14 Part 1

It has been soooo long but here is Episode 14.....Part One....
so many things....
so many places...so many people!
Keep your eyes open for Part Two!

My Dear Friend Tober, my last days in the land of the Scots....and....

Can you see the scottish flag in the upper left hand corner of the pic?

That is the view out of the lovely guestroom we stayed in at my dear friend Tober's house in Freuchie......pronounced frew-key....why the hyphen?... that is the way the Encyclopedia people do it!!!
After out big fast morning in Stirling we got into our rental car....which really.....frankly.....seemed like a popcan with wheels....and rode through the country to Fife....and in Fife....Freuchie...where the dear Tober resides.....when he is not in London.
England.
Not Ontario.
Tober, George and I did 'Martin Guerre' at Canstage back in the day.....and he has lived all over the world doing many fabulous projects....singing, acting and writing....and just recently he was in the Trevor Nunn production of 'Gone With The Wind' over in London.....he said ti was quite the experience!
The cast was excellent and the piece was challenging....some loved it...some hated it....what else is new?
But I haven't seen Tober in about 8 years...so I was so thrilled that he and his family invited us to their country estate......and an estate it is.....



That is Georgie and myself in our 'outdoor' outifts....I wore them for the whole effing trip!!! Anyhow....Tober and his mom and dad.....Vera and Tober....that is his dads name.....well....not really his name...it is his nickname and Tobers' real name.....ahhh....Vera and Tober just call their son Toby and everything is easier! They were sooo lovely to us and they fed us and stoked up the fire and gave us drinks......it was so cozy.
And they have a killer cat named Munch....like the painter.....that cat came in with a mouse during dinner and ate the whole thing.....godbless it.
They gave us the most sumptuous room to sleep in...and sleep we did...like a log!!!


It was so great to see Tober...Toby....he is one of those friends who you don't see forever and when you do it is just like before....that is a gift. Thanks to his family and to Tober....for such a great visit!!!


I was sad leaving Freuchie....as they were so lovely and I only get to see Tober every few years....but I still has so much to see and time was running out my friends....
So, we wave to the Reillys' ( Tobers' last name. course) and got into our popcan and drove back to Edinburgh....my sweet George thought that we could fit Holyrood Palace in.....and scope out our climb of Authur's Seat....have I mentioned that the big bang of our vacation was going to be climbing the big hill in middle of Edinburgh called Arthur's Seat......

Yup....that is it....may not seem like much....but after two people have spent the last few weeks eating their ways across the highlands....well....it is daunting....
But I was mentioning Holyrood Palace....it is the residence of the Queen when she is in Edinburgh....the Queen of effing England....her real place, man.!!!
I was so fucking excited!!!!


That is a ....thingie outside of the castle....now you cannot take pictures inside it....don't know why...but this palace is one of my faves....is it because she still lives there....royalty that is....or is it because Mary Queen of Scots also lived there at one time?...and they show you her rooms and all....and a place where her gay, italian secretary got stabbed.....56 times...those old timey people meant business.....when they killed you...they made sure you were dead...somewhere along our travels there was a painting of the execution of Mary Queen of Scots...and it showed the first try at slicing her head off.....yeah....it was still almost attached....uggg.....and yet...there was a woman named Maggie Blake who was hung for her crimes...in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh many years ago...and they rolled her body down the street and decided to stop at a pub along the way...those Scots get thirsty....and when they came outta the pub...she was sitting up in her coffin....I guess they didn't hang her enough....and you couldn't execute someone twice .... at that time...that is why they began to say "hung from the neck till you are dead"....
Anyhow....death aside....loved Holyrood....very well taken care of and a great mix of old and new....makes me want to see Versaillies.....but the best part for me...always the ruins...was Holyrood Chapel.....



I just love the RUINS!!!!
What a packed couple of days...wait....packed vacation....now....there is only one day left to do a couple of things I really want to do....George and I want to climb the seat....which really isn't something I am excited about doing....I don't really like climbing...I like hiking.....I have a different idea of that that is....remember!!!...but I wanna do it.....and I still wanna go on the double decker bus tour....can we fit it all in???

I saw ghosts and friezes....and my dear friend Tober!

Now...I read a book a couple years ago....cannot remember it's title.....actually it was a paperback of some kind that was..... fine....probably all crime and punishment.....but it went in depth about the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh.....when my mother-in-law mentioned it when we got here I got all excited and fussed up....we got everyone in a cab....5 of us including Deborah ..... our gracious hostess.....and went....
OH!!!!
First we went to see the Royal Yacht Britannia...it is moored in Edinburgh...kinda attached to a mall really....but I think...."The Queen is all posh!!! I wanna see where that chick lived!"....I say things like 'posh' and 'rubbish' now....just like Madonna...
OH!!!!
Now ...SIDEBAR!!!
I have decided to put three Scottish phrases into my daily vernacular .....
#1. Wee.....they all say it....they all love it!!! Why not me!!!
#2. EMMM....that is what they say here instead of um.
#3. Daft...... LOVE IT!!! So much classier....that stupid or retarded!
Now...where the eff.....oh ya...
THE BRITANNIA!!!
So, we got Ma into a wheelchair and took her around...now, here are a few words about the yacht...
First.....why so plain...I swear to god there was a chair that I had in my backyard growing up that was on the Lido deck.....
Second....The Queen and Prince Phillip have the tiniest single beds I have EVER seen!
You're the QUEEN!!!
Give Sleep Country a call!!
Third....The honeymoon suite bed was small and all I could think of was Charles taking Diana's virginity and scarring her for life!!!
So, that being said.....still pretty cool...oh to be so rich!!
So, after that we get into another cab and go to the Portrait Gallery.
Loved it!!
We couldn't take pics inside of the portraits but you could take pics of the friezes that were in the rotunda ....that was two big words at once!!!.....and they were lovely...the one at the top.....this one....


Look at the Scottish dudes!!!
Then the family went back to Bonnyrigg and George and I stayed in town because I wanted to go on a......
GHOST WALK.....
wooooooo.....
I picked the 'City of the Dead' tour....it was the only one that got access to the Greyfriars Churchyard at night!
Why would we do this on purpose, you ask?
I like a little scare!
And since it was so good George and I fortified ourselves with whiskey...to keep warm and all!
We were the oldest people on the tour by, like, 15 years.
All backpackers.....the guide started off chatting about torture....that is when my tummy started to go all iffy....
Torture is a gross business.
Then the 10 of us marched into the graveyard.....why would ANYONE
go into a a graveyard at night?
As we marched around I was looking for an actor who would scare the shit outta us.
When we got into the Masoleum .....yes...we went into a fricken masoleum...and they separated all of the men and women...so I ended up holding the hand of a girl from Wales named Roslyn....I was a bit scared shitless.
Then an actor jumped out and I screamed like a girl!
Oh wait.
I am a girl.
SOO!
The next day George and I rented a car with a couple destinations in mind.
I have a list left of all the places I wanted to visit......and we had one day.....and then we were to go to the home of our dear friend Tober.
So, ( play crazy banjo music here!) we rented a car.
We drove to Stirling.
And in two hours we....
Went to Bannockburn to see the field and the Robert the Bruce Statue!!!


Stirling Castle.




And then George and I climbed a big fricken hill!!
Straight up!!!
To see the William Wallace Monument!!!
Really George wanted to see the sword and I just want to see....
everything......


See that part to the right....the round part....circular staircase....
ALL THE WAY UP!!!!
We go to the second floor, see the sword...
And get the eff out!!

Oh.....so tired!!!
We did so much more....
But Graham Norton is on BBC 1....and I am afraid he is gonna say something dirty!!!
What will Auntie Pat say?

Arran....Edinburgh...Roslynn.....and the Pleurusy

Oh....it was like the Lord of the Rings.....it was like.....us on another ferry....to magical island of Arran......which .....Scottish people do not hate me please....in Ireland....it is called 'Scotland in minature' and that it is....but we were two hours early for the ferry....after being so late to the other one we tried to show off how early we could get somewhere....but I have to say my friends...when we got to the ferry dock...I got a bit worried...I was used to being at a bit huge ferry with tons of cars and people....there was no one....and the road just drove into the effing sea....I was thinking about how we had to back onto the last ferry....check this shit out...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scary.....and the rain....it was right Scottish...I decided to stay outside...due to my motion sickness....ness.....but it was like driving into a fairy land....we got across and they....my dear family .....took me to see a castle post haste.....it is an obsession....this is Lochranza Castle.....it was raining like hell....


Cloanaig is where we took the ferry from.........Lochranza is where we ended up....and it is on the whiskey coast....which makes me think of distilleries and pirates.....and this sheep.....

Now....this sheep was in field with about 100 other sheep.....but this one had decided to stand under a tree ..... to be protected from the rain......smart sheep....it looks like he is saying something.....like maybe..."Sharron, what is it with you and the castles.....and thank you for no' liking lamb!!!!"
We met old friends and neighbours of Auntie Pat from Airdrie.....Eunice, Bill,and their sons Alastair, Gordon and Gordon's wife Lynn....lovely people!! And Thanks to them it was easier for George to drive around this bendy island.....we just followed them.
Arran is gorgeous.
It is one of the most magical places I have ever seen.
We came in rain and bluster and left later that day in sun and loveliness on another ferry from Brodick....here was the sunset....

I mean ....really.
It was just lovely.
Then we made our way back to Glasgow.....for two days.
Now, George has been sick now for almost 10 days.....I wished him to go to the doctor but there was no place or time....he managed so well doing all the driving....this was the day....the day we came back to Glasgow that I started to feel ill.....
But we powered forward!!!
We went to the Glasgow Cathedral....... founded by St. Mungo....doesn't that rock.....there are so many statues around Scotland.....they are everywhere....you almost stop looking but this one was right outside Glasgow Cathedral......

Hhheeeeee hhahhaaa.....gotta love the university students.....but the Cathedral was so lovely.....we did a double decker tour to find the places we wanted to go and the Cathedral was on the top of the list......
Here are three things you need to know about me.....maybe not need....but it might help for the future of our blogging affair....
1. Love a castle
2. Love an old church
3. Love a cemetary
There you have it....weird, weird, weird.......
Here is the Cathedral......



PS....George takes all the awesome pics....I just take the average ones.......
Then after a couple fab days in Glasgow.....we got into a big ole cab and drove to Bonnyrigg.....right outside of Edinburgh.....to visit and stay with George's cousin Deb....she has been gracious enough to host us for a week!!
A WEEK!!!!!
But, since our ill fated ferry incident...we have been early everywhere....so we beat Deb there....and waited with out luggage.....



Here is ma..... with the luggage!!! God bless.....
Deb has been serving us and washing for us....she gave up here bed for us.....THANKS TO YOU!!!!
She took us to Roslynn Chapel today....you can say whatever you want.....I read the effing Da Vinci Code.... I know what it is due to that ..... I have read alot about it since then.....but I start with Dan Brown's book.... not the crappy movie with that Tom Hanks....that dude can do anything!!!! Oh to be a dude....
As we drove in I was all excited.... and filled with antibiotics....we went to the doctor today.....George and I have matching pill bottles....we have plerusy....... but I could not wait to see it!!
Like everything else I have seen here....GORGEous.......and tiny....it is overwhelming with its explosive carvings...that is the only way to describe them....the carvings reach out and look like teeth...the chapel was built in the 1400's and it took 50 years..... never had I seen anything like it....you cannot take pics inside ....



It was so overstimulating inside.....I didn't know where to look....but was I standing over the holy grail.....ark of the covenant....the embalmed head of jesus....no lie... that is a rumor......who knows....but I was there!!!
Oh.... and we went to the Edinburgh castle........but I gotta go for mince and tatties.....
Here is a shot of the biggest castle I have ever seen.....Mary, Queen of Scotts.......ALRIGHT!!!
I am coming!!!!!

Sharron in Tarbert and with Sheep...oh and Robert the Bruce!

After Kilmartin, I felt a bit sleepy but since I was in the front seat of the car I felt that it was my responsiblity to stay awake with George....so I fell asleep...of course......Ma woke me saying, “Sharron, look!” I turned and there in the middle of green, GREEN, ( I use two greens because... it was really green) field and a bunch of white and black sheep was a circle of about 12 standing stones....my mouth just dropped open and I stared....I mean, they were in the middle of someones’ cow field....no one but me really giving them a second look.
I got very excited.
What is it with people and the stones and witchery and heeland magic?
We sooo want it to be true.
Don’t we?
So, here we are in Tarbert at a pink hotel......when two ‘bear’ type males walked into the dining room during dinner and winked at me...I knew it was a gay friendly hotel....PINK...ah! It is very nice and homey and overlooks the bay....
Whenever we get somewhere I always think that I can’t like a place better than the last but I am always proven wrong.
I love this little town.



It also contains Tarbert Castle, home of....ready for it?....Robert the Bruce....you all can pretend you know that from a history lesson or a fancy book....but I know it is because most of you watched Braveheart...with that anti-semetic Mel Gibson....I still love that movie though he is an ass....Mel not Bruce....remember Robert the Bruce was portrayed by that dishy Angus Macfayden....I don’t know why his career never took off...he did the Braveheart movie and then then next thing I saw him in was the ‘Ya Ya Sisterhood’ movie with Sandra Bullock...who I love...judge me as you will.....I wonder if Angus thinks that Gerrard Bulter got his career........maybe there was only room for one scottish dude....Gerrard is scottish, right?....or is he Irish?
Did you know that the Scottish descended from the Irish in about 300AD???
REALLY!!!
WHAT THE EFF WAS I TALKING ABOUT???!!!
Oh ya...Tarbert Castle...very cool...it stands over the town like a sentinel....a bit of a ruin but it has a proud flag of Scotland flying over it...and I COULD not wait to get up there to it!
Castles and Standing Stones....
LOVE THEM!
Now, I haven’t mentioned that my hubby George has been sick since we arrived...he got the plerusy from the hacking dude who sat beside me on the plane.....we sat down and the dude started to cough and I turned to George with a pursed mouth.
But I haven’t got sick yet.....just poor Georgie....he seemed to be getting better but this morn he woke in our pink hotel with a look of sick.
I was so sad for him....I want him to feel better....I also want to climb around the hills....George was hacking and saying “No...I am fine...really...hack ...hack...cough... cough!”
Right.
I thought that since we don’t have to drive anywhere today it was the perfect day to have him lay in and sleep .... so I collected my morning duties from he and the ladies at breakfast....the sausage was square and flat....yum.....I was to go to the chemist...the chemist....and get cold stuff for Georgie and kleenex for Auntie Pat.... she’s not sick...just always prepared!....and the Cut n’ Crew to see if I could get Auntie Pat an appointment for a wash and style...many jobs....but I happily did them all!
And while I walked through the town with my paper sack of stuff I stared at the castle up on the hill....the city is surrounded by hills....mountains....the Scottish call them bens.....I wanted to see that damned castle....I asked George if he minded if I went....as he lay in bed looking like death....handsome...but still death warmed.....he said I should go....so I put on my new hiking shoes...that I am convinced I got too big.... my fleecy and my hat, shoved my ipod and my camera in my pockets....oh and I always take my passport just in case I need to be indentified.....somber but practical....that is me....and I walked to the info centre to find out....info.
The lady with the spiky hair.....burgandy....she was very nice....not like the chemist.....anyhow....I asked her how to get to the castle and she directed me to the staircase just past the dental surgeon’s office. And I use the word stairs loosely. The were rocks arranged together that ascend....but it has that old-timey feel....it should have been my first clue as to the journey that would follow.
I made it up to the ruins of the castle....


....whether it is a ruin or not....it is always impressive.....the historians think that it was built by Alexander I or II during the 300’s.....the effing 300’s...and then The Bruce put on extentions...he renovated...I just laughed outloud... I am pathetic....but I wandered around the castle, which is really just the tower that is left over of the castle keep, to take a pic from every angle as I wanted to really show George my journey....my adventures he calls them.... I just think it....I found myself down the hill in the braken...which I discovered today are really just like thick brown ferns....I always pictured braken as a thorny plant.....and as I put up my camera to take this picture.
....I heard a rumble behind me...I turned very quickly.....to see a freakin’ dear run by.....it stopped and looked at me...and I tried very slowly to raise my camera but it mistook my camera for a gun or some such thing and took off.
So.... I decided that I wanted to hike the bens...I was on my own and I was gonna do it anyway... the spiky haired lady told me at the shop the only thing that I had to fear in the woods was the sheep.....alrightie!
So, I looked at the flyer she gave me and I planned a short 45 minute walk.....but the adventurer in me....said “Come oh Sharron!!! Go for the 2 hours......”. I wish that was true... I really just didn’t read the flyer well enough and took a wrong turn....now let me mention right here.... I didn’t see another living soul on the whole hike.... and I hike it was... right till the bitter end... and I was out for about 2 1/2 hours....REALLY!!!
First of all.....it was all uphill at the beginning...


.....I know... no surprise.. but what we term as a hike uphill in Hamilton Ontario and what the Scottish folk term as a hike uphill....two very different things... let me tell you, now.
But I was brave....I was a warrior.
I had to keep pretending to look at crap from my pocket so that I could stop and take a breath the first 15 minutes....maybe, Sharron, a look at the map may have been a help....but I kept taking pictures of the view...that would only really appeal to me, I think.
The path in the beginning was all grass and.....bogs.... in my new too big shoes... though comfy....
But I was jumping over puddles and feeling all forest-ie.
Very soon I felt a little closed in...



...... the big view stopped and I was into the thick of the forest....I looked at the clock on my ipod after about 25 minutes...hm....I am pretty good with directions....north, west and all that .....that makes me all cocky with maps....I would have known if the path had turned itself back in the direction of the castle and town....so...I pull out the map.....hmm.....I see a marker and it has a white top....I see that means I am on the two hour walk path.....probably.... it go a bit sketchy.....hmmm....TWO Hours... into the highlands... alone......sounds very brave... and warrior like....
I will do it....of course, according to the ampe I might be on a 5 hour walk....but I will figure that out after the first hour....right?
So, as I continue further and further into the mountains all the inner scary movie voice start having a dialogue....
‘SSSHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....maybe you are going the wrong way.... and you haven’t seen anyone since you began......’ Well....so what....it is October.....not too many people on vacation.
‘SHHHAARRROONNN....what if someone is following you on this path..’
Shut it!!!
‘SSSSHHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....what if you fall and break one of your weak ankles?...’


Why did you have to bring that up??? Not only are you the scary voice but you are bad for my self confidence.
‘SSSHHHHAAARRROOOONNNN....be afraid...’
Alright!!!!
I am a grown woman who has gone on MANY hikes and been away from home....I have my puffer.... I have money and my passport in case, again, my body need to be identified .....SHUT UP........I am strong...and I have no water or food.....THERE ARE 100 STREAMS TO DRINK FROM ASSHOLE.......no cell phone...not that you would get a signal.....PLEASE......HEY I HAVE MY IPOD......that is good as a physical instrument to defend yourself with....what are you gonna do ..... make them listen to Avril Lavigne?
That voice is so witty.
I pulled out my ipod...charged, thank god.
And I put in an ear phone....just one the right one in case I am going to be attacked.......and push play......Girlicious’ hit ‘Like Me’ starts blaring....suck it scary voice....and my scary voice is lulled by the slutty girls singing.
I find myself happy again....and I have been walking for 40 minutes....and it seems that the path is turning slowly back... that makes me feel better....but it is rollercoastering....as soon as I start going down....I feel happy and sad....because I know it is going back up.
Somewhere in this time period I step in a bog.....a real bog....the path has been wet and my shoes are waterproof to a point....the point is a bog.
I am not wet up to both of my knees.....but perversely this makes me feel very woodsy and adventurous....and wet.
By the time I reach an hour and fifteen minutes....I start to worry....I don’t know where I am....I feel that the path should have really turned....the sky is stormy and I pull the map and in the bottome corner it comments on how the weather turns fast in the burns......so take the appropriate supplies....and read the map, ass.
I see where I might be if I am on the 2 hour walk.....and where I would be if I am on the five hour walk.
I try to picture the phone call to George.....”Can you come pick me up in Clacken....”
Isn’t that a great name.....just about that time I come out at a place where it is clear to me that I am on the right walk....thank god....and I see it turn into a hard dirt path...eff you bogs...and there is a very old foundation for a house of some kind....


there is nothing about it on the map....but it is very cool....I use the word cool because there are no exact words for how ......cool it really is... I feel excited and like I discovered something.....and like it was worth it to be a bit afraid....so I track off the path and walk through the braken into the building....


and the sun comes out....no shit.
I feel very satisfied.
I start to walk up the path as ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ begins to play.
The ipod has been a lovely companion....and I have also been talking to my dearly departed dog Otto who would have LOVED this walk.... to keep my spirits up.
It is all uphill but I am so thrilled that I know where I am and that I am on the right walk....and I have been very brave...and discovered and ancient foundation.....I still haven’t seen another person....AT ALL.....what if I travelled back in time....like Brigadoon?!!
That would be awesome and scary.
So, I continue back uphill for 20 minuted till I come to an unclear fork in the road ....and it is still so hilly that I can’t see the town either way.....I make a judgement call .... and as I walk for 15 minutes till I come to a rise.....inside I am chanting in rythmn with every step...... “Please be Tarbert....please be Tarbert....”
I am a bit filled with the worry because the sky has gotten black again.....what if it rains and I have to go under a tree?? What if George thinks I am dead??
Oh here is a thing....what if I think good thoughts???!!!
As I come to a rise I peer over I see.......


Tarbert!!!!
.....and I yell so loud, I scare myself and trip over a rock and almost break my right weak ankle.
I am bounding down the side of the mountain with such a feeling of self satisfaction!!!
I am super awesome......
When I get near the castle the first human I see is this effing huge black and white dog....he sees me and starts to bound for me..... and someone screams...... “SHEAS!”....which I have since found out mens sit...or stop....in gaelic....and I think a monster scottich dude is coming over the hill.....an it turns out being the tinest wizened man I have ever seen....on a cellphone....and he hooks up his dog and turns a suspicious eye my way as he passes....but eff him....even he can’t spoil my high!!!!
I made it.....
Alone....
Who cares if I got chased off the grounds by some over friendly black sheep....

Sharron in Kilmartin and the Stones

So, after the four of us miss the Ferry from Mull to Oban....oh my god...don't ask....they tell us, after we yell and scream for a while....and get called Americans...... that there is a smaller ferry coming for 5 cars....WHAT!?? So we end up on this amazing crossing on this teeny fairy......that was actually my first instint on the spelling of Ferry.....hehehe....and the sun is all shining.....George spies a seal... Auntie Pat and Ma are happy and have their shades on like movie stars.....

We drive down the coast of Loch Fyne and I find myself in this little quaint fishing town in western Scotland....near the Isle of Bute.... I don’t care how juvenille it sounds....that words sounds like....looks like...Butt....and reminds me of a movie that I saw at my friend Thom’s house called ‘Lust in the Dust’ starring Tab Hunter, Divine and Lainie Kazan......in which you see the last two’s stunt asses... if you don’t know what I mean.... or believe it, watch the movie. I digressed....man...Tarbert is a town from Ma and Auntie Pat’s youth....travelling with them has been a treat...going on a trip somewhere is all well and good but going with people who know the area...who grew up in it is a fine thing...places you never might go....histories you never would have known....after hearing so many pearls of wisdom from them for 5 days it was a wonder that one day I turned and asked about a castle and Auntie Pat looked at me and said....’Oh, I don’t know!’....I guess I ask alot of questions....we stopped in a town called Kilmartin....a place their Uncle Angus and Auntie Kate lived a full life...going to their greater rewards at the amazing ages of 93 and 96, respectively. Their is a churchyard in the tiny town of Kilmartin that houses ‘standing stones’. From what I gather... after reading about them for years and chatting with Auntie and Ma...that ‘standing-stones’ are stones that were fashioned and placed in the ground hundreds of years ago....and no one....NO ONE....knows why...I think the wicans think they do....I am sure the druids might know....but no one is admitting to it. They are so...ancient...and being around them gives me a great excitement....I want to know the secrets...I want to find a clue...one stands like a watcher in the cemetary at Kilmartin... which houses alot of medival gravestones...

...which I thought were ‘standing stones’ and got a bit confused ...I mean they were very cool...don’t get me wrong...some of them had warriors and celtic inscriptions on them and them but they just didn’t seem mystic enough..and then ....camera in hand....I turned around and there was stone rising from the ground in front of me with a .....was it?.....yes, it was... a face....like the faces I have seen in pictures of the self same stones in books and magazines of the stones on Easter Island.... a big idol....it stopped me in my tracks. It is the only one that I have no picture of. I guess I had stood looking at it for such a length of time I had worn my camera battery out....or had I? HOOOOOOOOO!

No, really, it was very moving and cool. We found Uncle Angus’s and Auntie Katie’s shared plot....with their lovely stone...Auntie Pat told me that Angus died some years before Katie .... when Katie passed someone played a bagpipe song that had been written for her during her lifetime, and carried her from her home, where she died, across the road to her resting place. I don’t know why this story affected me so....but it made my eyes water, as it did Auntie Pat...and we sat silent for a moment in the small hotel where we were eating our lunch... she...Haggis.... me....Egg Mayo....like Egg Salad but heavy on the mayo.... Anyhow....when George and I found their headstone...I took a picture of it...


which is probably all kinds of bad luck...or weird...but I didn’t even think of it..... and then I turned right around to photograph their view......it was a gorgeous view. They lived a long life, in the place they loved and went into the ground together to look out over the fields.....

Should we all be so lucky.

Scotland....Oban and Tobermory

There is the first and the real Oban Inn!!!
We have been here....Scotland for almost 5 full days and I cannot even believe how beautiful it is.... it is everything I dreamt of.... and more!!!
Gay as that sounds... it is true.
After our awesome place in Glasgow, we hopped into a rental van... the only vehicle big enough to fit my luggage ....oh ya and the other small pieces that the other three people have....it is not that I have alot.......it is just huge....but I sometimes need to have choices.
We drove along some long and windy roads....after about a half hour of winding I took half a gravol.....after another half hour....I took the other half....I am all sensitive to the motion.....
So, I was trying to look at the beautiful views through a drug induced haze...and keep one eye on sweet Georgie's driving...god bless him all on the other side of the road on the skinniest highway.... and I use that word loosely.....I have ever seen!!!
It is so rugged!!!
And mysterious....
We finally drove into Oban...we were staying overnight there before taking the ferry to Craignure on the Isle of Mull early the next morn.
We got to the Hotel......I fell asleep with my clothes on for 3 hours....I still got the jetlag...then we had an awesome meal....again... ( the food is great and thanks to Ma and Auntie Pat we are eating at some lovely places)....
And then we went out to find a place to drink.....
An old dude named Billy, who I could not really understand...who kissed me on the cheek twice...took us to a bar and led us to one side... the lounge side... and told us that I ....being a woman... did not want to go to the bar side because that was where men went....to do men things...
WHAT?!
REALLY?!
I laughed....he didn't ... he was serious.
What year is this?!
Anyhow...that place was kinda ass-ie...so we went to walk the sea wall and ended up at the Oban Inn.....
After living in Niagara it seemed like a good fit....what a great place ....it was founded in....

1790!!!!
For real....we don't even get that in our very new country....anyhow... we met some great people there....Scottish....British....Polish.....I even met a seaman.....seaMan.....who told me that when he didn't live on a ship he just buggered about....then he looked worried... and then he tried to tell me what 'buggered about' meant.... I told him "I got it"!
We drank.
We slept.
We awoke and got on the ferry....and due to the fact that we were going on the rough, open ocean.....another gravol....so I have been mostly drugged up, asleep or full of wine for most of the trip.
And that, my friends, is what I call a vacation.
But I have to tell you... all the I have really dreamt about is the scottish countryside.
And when we got onto the ferry I was pretty sure that was where I was headed!

We got off the Ferry and the sign posted said to be careful of the single lane highways...for 'both ways' traveling cars....on the wrong side.....well...the wrong side to us.
Awesome!
It was a fine drive in.....the country side was so green and then brakenish....again, very rugged...we drove into the seaside town of Tobermory....
Oh
my
god....
First of all... due to where it lies in the gulf stream there are palm trees...
Yup...
And flowers blooming...
In October...
It is about 11 degrees...
It is very magical.
And the harbour looks like it belongs in the Barbados.....
It is all contradictions....
Our hotel....The Western Isles Hotel....overlooks the harbour from a hill... the picture overhead is from our room window....the air is so clear....and the sun is out!!!
Today we went into my very first Scottish castle....I was so excited when I got out of the car I had to use my puffer....
It is called Duart Castle...


It was built in 1350....I mean, really.....it was fabulous.....my fave parts....the battlements...it was all old timey.....then George and I went and walked down to the water and through all the craggy rocks that surrounded the castle....I can almost feel what it was like to see a ship approaching to lay siege.....take out puffer and use it here....
Isn't it all Scotland-ie?
The castle is the home of the Clan Maclean.
One of the chiefs....in the 18th Century.....decided he didn't like his wife.....so he put her out on a rock that would sink as the tide came in.... in full view from a small window in the castle.....oddly one of her kinsman sailed by and picked her up.....her family... the untrustworthy Campbells....didn't kill him right away... they murdered him 30 years later.....keep your eyes on those Campbells.
Duart Castle = Awesome.
I also wanted to go on a walk through the forest....so we went on a hike to Torosay Castle....a newer less interesting castle....and decided to take a short cut back.... basically there was a sign with an arrow that pointed into the middle of a cowfield....
I was feeling very adventurous.....but I stood at the gate with trepidation.....
as the cows are highland cows....heeland coos.....and they have horns.....
But we trudged up the hill.....and were followed by about 40 young students...we made it very clear that we weren't sure where we were going...but they followed anyway.....I tried to give the cows a wide berth.....but when we got to the top of the hill it became clear that the gate and path we wanted to proceed through was occupied.......

Don't they look a little bit scary?
I mean....the horns and all.
But I felt very brave....the brown one smelled my hand....so I went over the fence....
I really did....
The students stood behind us waiting to see what we would do ............
I heard a german voice say "Well, the American is going over!"
As I swung my leg over and tried not to fall 'ass over tea kettle' into a cowpie I yelled out a phrase I have used at least twenty times since I got here....
" No...I am Canadian!"
Not that I don't like my American cousins...but my nationality is a source of pride and distinction!
George just look stunned that I decided to go over....he said that we hadn't really decided what our course of action would be.....but sometimes a girl has gotta go here own way.....I was on an adventure....
with cows.
oh...I am sorry....
coos.
They seemed interested in me.....I just wanted to get up the fricken hill....
All 40 of those students followed.....
Some in highheel boots....
Ah the young.....
I had fricken hiking shoes on and I had to be careful.....then because I was all Norma Rae and filled with P and V....I forged forward.....George told me to turn around....slowly....
they were all following me... not the students....the coos.
Um.
So, we made our way away from the beasts and back onto the path....I was so fricken proud... I felt like I had been on the greatest adventure EVER!!!
I don't get out much.
Now, this what I learned today.

Sometimes you gotta walk off the path.....not knowing where you are going.....sometimes you step in cow shit......sometimes you gotta walk with cows....coos......but if you trust yourself....you will find after a fashion that you are going the right way.
And it will all be worth it!
And you will feel awesome.