I effing hate Tyra......

It is like a car accident that I can't stop watching.....

I cannot stop myself from pressing the record button on the PVR.

America's Next Top Model goes against everything I believe to be good in this world but it is TV crack.

I taped the two hour opener ....for George, to be completely honest......and sat there and watched the whole thing.

I just love how they take it so seriously.....like it is important ....like.....university or dinner or something.

One girl...named Evita...I shit you not....left her two children at home, while her soldier husband is in Iraq to pursue this dream...." I had the American dream of the soldier, the model and the two children...." Evita proclaims...

Did I miss that dream?

Did they forget to tell the world that one?

OH YA!!!>>>>>>

And they made the girls, who's ages begin at 18, take off their clothes for their first photo shoot!~!~~!!

It was like Coco in Fame....the movie, people, not the TV show.

I just kept shaking my head and pinching George ( I cannot pinch myself as my skin is tender) to see if I was truly in La La Land.

And you guys know I love a drag queen as much as the next cabaret singer but.....

Miss J?

Pulease.

Get a life Miss J.

I love it when he starts a shot in pants and then ten seconds later he is in a skirt or better yet......he just takes off his pants and straps on 6 inch heels.

"Super Queen!

Able to shed clothes, swirl , strut down a runway and put down 10 people in the bat of a false eyelash!"

And the blond headed bitchy guy?

Whatever.

He wore a shirt last night that was rejected at some point by a twelve year old at La Senza Girl.

And then there is the cake.

Tyra friken Banks.

Her Momma musta put her in a little glass case and then let her grow up.

Her personality just screams spoiled brat.

My favourite thing....the thing that makes George laugh because it drives me insane....at the end of the show when she does her whole

" I have 10 beautiful girls in front of me....."

speech...she can't say

" America's Next Top Model"

without starting in a normal voice and then dropping down to a barely heard whisper by then end.

EVERY YIME SHE SAYS IT!

I can just hear her acting coach telling her people will think she is serious if she does that.

And, I am not done, she has a face that she puts on when she is trying to be sincere.

She squints her eyes and effects a half smile.

IT DRIVES ME INSANE!!!

I can't wait till next week.