I had my first night off....in 5 years. I have nothing to learn. Nothing to sell. Nothing to worry over....well, not right now anyway....and I am giving myself this month to recuperate after...alright...5 years of overwork.
I know that sounds excessive, what a surprise...but George ran to Hamilton to do something and insisted I stay at home with the traumatized dogs...they had a hard day that required 3....count 'em three baths. Sigh...god bless their souls...I do love them...so I sit in the quiet of my home....the dogs asleep...well, the Big Dog had to take a Benadryl so he is all drugged sleeping...but we just threw out their beds...don't worry Patty Zee...this occured after they stayed at your house...so we decided to be wishful and buy them one BIG bed...during said purchase both dogs were being groomed at Petsmart and we ran into one handsome Loach son named Will....who shook my hand with such conviction that had to nod and think "that is one fine handshake"....I love running into nice people.
Anyhow...so...I got soil....soil that I have been planning to get for...you guessed it...5 years. This poor plant has been soldiering through my false promises of replanting for these long years...and tonight while we were at Home Depot getting wood pieces to prop up the bed that the 120 pound flea machine broke....(actually we think he ate a mouse because he had fur in his poop....George said " Oh no...now they are gonna call him 'Old Fur in the Dung Masswohl'...I don't think they will, actually, but I love that George thinks they will..whoever they are) ....so yah, Tyson broke the bed...again... and while he and Cassie were getting conditioned and moisturized at Petsmart ( we went to the pros) we were at the HD getting wood I walked with determination into the garden section and got a huge bag of soil...because that is the only kind you can get....and lugged it around the store like a kid with a teddy bear.

Then after George dropped me off I cleaned the kitchen...as good as therapy...and I put on Julain Molnar's CD, it is called Lullabies for a Sleepless World...and got my plant

( swear to god it looks ALMOST EXACTLY LIKE THIS!)
and the clay pot I have been saving since we moved in here...and while listening to Julain sing ...(it is a fabulous CD...you need to get it....I will find out how you can) I repotted that beautiful plant...it was as good as doing a show...as writing...it made me want to call my sister....book a lunch with Thom....kiss my husband....it made me so happy.
And as I looked over at Tyson and Cassie on the one big bed...(Cassie laid in the middle of it and I had to push her over and make room for the Big Dog)

Wishful thinking?

I poured myself the teeniest glass of wine and sat down to write for the simple joy of it...I thought I should read...or watch TV...or something...while the couch covered in anti-flea juice dries...but no...it is so peaceful...I light a candle...for the first time in forever I light a candle...I had to look for the matches for 10 minutes and blow dust off the candle....and I picked one of my favourite CD's to compliment Julains'....the Patty's ( Zentilli and Loach)....one with a y and one with an i..."Pull Me Through" is their Cd and it is equally awesome...and I just felt so happy and melancholy ...in a good way...you know when melancholy is so satisfying and soul filling?...I listen to Patty and Patti...and cry a little...and smile and look at my plant....and am gaylordy happy.

Yes. I Read it.

Yes, people, yes....I read it.
So, I am sweeping the floor...with vigor.
I have a fabulous show to go do today in a couple of hours.
But...since I have been a self producer for the last many years I had to get into the horrible...horrible...awful....fucked up habit of reading my reviews....because I have to use them if they are good... but then live with them if they are bad.
When I did Les Miserables on tour in the US it was humbling....we opened in a new town every week. So, I got the moms of Little Cosette and Little Eponine to read them for me...if they were good they would tell me....if not...well, there were no words spoken...and in this blissful silence and ignorance I lived until we were in Amarillo, Texas...one of the Moms said I got a great review in the Amarillo Armadillo....I don't think that is what the paper is called ...just for my storytelling purposes...I picked it up..."The weakest performer is....( oh god don't let it be..) Sharron Matthews." Then that mom and I had a little chat about the difference between a good review for me and a good review for little Maggie, her daughter.
The very next week I got a rave in both the Washington Post and Washington Times ....same show...same costume...same me. It made me a bit wiser ...but NO DOUBT my people...it still hurts.
Hurts bad.
It is hard as an actor to try and figure out the right thing to do...do we read them?... so we know why everyone around you is all of a sudden hushed, or not looking you in the eye....or uncharacteristically quiet the day after opening? Or do we just say " I DON'T READ REVIEWS!!!" and hope that no spoilers come out from your third grade friend on Facebook?
I don't know...I chose my own road...usually I cannot stop myself...it changes with every show really.
But now as I focus on branching out in the world with my shows and all... every thing little nive word helps, right?
RIGHT?
Breathe.
So, I woke this fine morning to look at my Toronto Star online....when I saw the title of the review I should have stopped there....but no....macabre fascination drew me on...
"When Sharron Matthews starts narrating in a style totally devoid of all personality...."
Oh my.
Breathe.
That hit a chord in me and I suddenly remembered the other stinker that I got from the same paper...and in the spirit of saving my soul...I began a search online....google rocks the shit....ah yes...here it is...from 2002....broke my heart it did.....
"Sharon Matthews tackles the other major role of the Narrator with mixed success. Her Rosie O'Donnell presence pays diminishing returns as the evening goes on..."
Hmm....maybe it is not me...there is only one R after all.
Narrating seems to be a sticking point for me.
Either too much or too little it seems.
I remember that review...it hurt my feelings....for days...hurt bad.
It also made me feel fat....and WHO NEEDS THAT, RIGHT?!!?!?
Ah well...I breathe...I call Thom Allison who tells me I am pretty...I sweep the floor...and I move on...
The opening night of "Handmaiden" was a night for the memory books...it took me right back to the other opening night..."Martin Guerre" at Canstage...where we had to come back onstage for a third bow dressed in our street clothes because the audience would not leave.
During the Prologue of "Handmaiden" all that I could think of was the faces that I was seeing... Jim Betts, Derrick Chua, Vincent DeTourdenett...actors young and old....Canadians supporting Canadian musical theatre...it was an important night.
Leslie Arden rocks.
She is a Canadian treasure.
I feel very lucky to work with her again.
Also, LKTYP rocks!
And I think the show also is pretty damned fine.
Julain Molnar, Karen Wood, Susan Henley, George Masswohl, Regan Thiel, Tracy Michialidis, Andrew Stelmack, Jonathan Tan, and Larry Mannel tell a great story and will surely make you laugh!
As does my 6 year old friend Ella.
But...as a kicker I will take this part of todays review for my PR package...
"live-wire who electrifies the cabaret scene "
Nice.

Things that make me ....

So, someone sent me something this morning...I do enjoy receiving the interesting info and emails that get sent to me as people are picking up on my penchant (yeah, I said it...penchant...someone says it in 'The Princess and the Handmaiden' ...the show I am in tech for right now and I like to recycle good words...ever increasing my word potential past swears and cusses...though I love those...this is the longest brackets ever) on my PENCHANT for the exciting, infuriating and funny...
Someone sent me a link to a website that extolls the virtues of two people in the entertainment business who have moved from Toronto to New York in the last 10 years.
They have enjoyed, and worked for, amazing success in NY.
That was not the reason the link was sent to me.
It was sent because they have commented on their blog about the debacle, craziness and sadness that surrounds the Garth Drabinsky trial...
Which I have also commented on...he employed me for 4 years on and off...and helped to create some of the biggest breaks I had in my early twenties. I don't think that stealing is right but...he was a titan here...and he loved theatre.
This blog wrote pretty much the same thing....again, not the reason the link was sent.
The thing that my email-er...is that a word?...took umbrage at....umbrage to....using a new word is hard....anyhow...the thing that pissed my emailer off....see the cusses work just as well....was the following comment about Garth and theatre in Toronto...
"Quite simply, Toronto theatre was not as good before...and certainly has not been as good since..."
Hmm.
It sat it their craw enough that they finally sent it to me...and now it has been crawling around inside my head. (See what I did there?)
And it made me think.
I am all thinking...
"Yes, theatre in Toronto has been beat around something fierce in the last few years...."
"Big theatre in Toronto has gone the way of popular juke box musicals...but who am I to judge what people like?"
Then I got mad.
Then my ever favourite listing started.
1. Toronto NEVER had a big contemporary musical theatre scene until Garth it is true but he has left a legacy here... he spurred young people to come out of schools and from across the country and to create exciting companies like Acting Up Stage (the musical theatre company run by Mitchell Marcus that not only produces theatre and cabaret, but teaches young people about contemporary musical theatre), the new Ghostlight Productions that had the idea to produce TWO contemporary musicals in rep and use one to sell the other! People are self producing their stuff ALL OVER the place...instead of waiting to be cast or produced....Garth helped create a city of self promoters and producers.
In TORONTO!
2. Scriptlab...spearheaded by the ever patriotic Jim Betts has been giving young writers and composers (and older) a place to meet, work and feature their pieces for a long while. Also giving young performers a place to do the same....and all learn. Jim Betts also produced a music book and an accompanying CD of Canadian Musical Theatre songs called Field of Stars...people now more than EVER come into auditions with Canadian content...it is funny...people used to ask for a Canadian monologue but could never really ask for a Canadian song...now they can.
In TORONTO!
3. Some of the best new young composers are working there shit out here with help and support from companies like Canstage, Acting Up, Scriptlab, Sheridan College, The Stratford and Shaw Festivals....Reza Jacobs, Jonathon Monro and Zachary Florence to name a few...
4. Independant Toronto producers like Derrick Chua and Micheal Rubinoff continue to find new and interesting projects to do...they both support our community and proudly travel our Canadian message abroad as they both branch out into the world at large. (I don't quite know what our message is....but you get the gyst.) There are many more new and upcoming Toronto producers out there doing there thing and starting their journey's !
5.The Toronto Fringe Festival ...Drowsy Chaperone.... The most exciting Toronto export since....well, you can't count Showboat...not Canadian...Ragtime...not Canadian....and DC won TONY's BABY! And started at the freakin' Toronto Fringe Festival! My Lesbian Jewish Wiccan Wedding ....musical also started at Toronto Fringe Festival and transfered to the Mirvish season...we NEVER had independantly produced Canadian musicals making such a splash EVER!!!
IN TORONTO ...and then the world.
And my friends.... that is just a few things that I can come up with!!!
Maybe you can help me think of more....
Me wonders...do these NY/Toronto transports even KNOW what is going on in our scene...well, maybe they should come and see!!
There is some great, inspiring, inspired, innovative, creative, audacious, hilarious, moving Canadian stuff being done up here...In TORONTO!!!
Please add to my list!
Support our Canadian Musical Scene!

George's Food Quest. Reactions by Sharron.

Heard in the Matthews-Masswohl kitchen this morning.....
Masswohl "Are you really tasting that....or are you just making tasting sounds behind me?"
Matthews "(lip smacking sounds cease)"

Saturday, Laptop and Aretha!

Hey All of you people.....How are you this fine Saturday morning?
I am better than I could be...let me tell YOU what!!
It is a miracle that this effing computer....the one I love more than my first knock off walkman...is even WORKING!
What a day I had...I was rehearsing the musical theatre...and ya know when you just have a day when you CANNOT find a character, a singing voice or talent....well, all those things just eluded me and I was fucking mad and George was trying to calm my high maintenance ass down on the way home....I had some errands to run and stuff to do and lines to learn....world to save....ya know...just the basics...and George said " You go an take a half hour by yourself and I will do all these things for you..."
Well, who could ask for anything more...but I still felt like maybe I should go with him to help with the things and all but he insisted I stay home.
So, I was in my quiet home...now termite free and floor refinished...I made a cup of tea and went and sat down and my trusted and loved computer ( how can you tell I am rehearsing a fairytale....wow...it is early for me...I almost spelled that ferry) put the tea down and powered up...went straight to facebook to lurk...and then picked up my tea..which had some condensation on the bottom of the cup...it stuck to the table and then as my hand slipped free...it turned and splashed ALL OVER MY PURPLE LAPTOP THAT I LOVE MORE THAN IS APPROPRIATE!
Never a over reactor I started screaming and crying and turning it upside down and looking for a cloth and wiping at it....then, still crying, I ran to find the hair dryer...it was all dry...on the outside...and it WOULD NOT turn on.
George was so happy when he got home.
Now, not only could I not find a character, a voice or talent AND my entire business was filled with decaffinated green tea.
What would happen?
We went to Patty Zee's house for dinner....lucky her, right? And she googled the problem and told me to resist temptation and NOT turn it on for a whole day.
I did it...I waited...I didn't want to turn it on at all....because the longer I waited the longer there was still hope for a happy ending ( again, fairytale...now I almost spelled THAT word tail).
But after rehearsing yesterday...a day where I ALMOST found a purpose, a voice and my lines...I went home...and stood in front of it....and looked at George...who was clearly looking pinched...and I put my pointing finger...you may call it index...but I use that finger more for pointing than indexing, hence the title...I put my pointing finger on the magic button...and it made the special MAC sound....the fancy WAH....and I almost fainted...there seems to be only one small glitch, I may have fried the battery, because the screen goes of when it is unplugged...but I can get that fixed.
Someone likes me...not enough to not have it happen in the first place...but they like me a bit, at least...I will take it...maybe they are opposed to my potty mouth.
Fuck it.

After I made my computer work I went to see Aretha Franklin with a group of WONDERFUL and slightly naughty ladies..yup I said it ...these are ladies who frequented Sharron's Party and have become friends....which is lucky because one of them got squirted in the face with Shoshana's breast milk at the Party...nuff said...one of these wonderful ladies had bought me a ticktet to go with them...how fantastic and just....well, just plain nice.
Aretha was amazing...I didn't know she could still sing like that... had a couple of fave moments....
1. Just before she came onstage....a stage that was filled with a tuxedo'd 20 piece band with back up singers...a tall young man brought her leopard print slouch purse onstage and put it under the piano...the grand piano...then I remembered that she always gets paid in cash before a show...once her whole entourage was at a theatre waiting on the buses...the theatre owner told her he had a cheque and she got back on the bus and went home...the same guy came out after her encore and picked up said purse.
2. She sang "As if We'd Never Said Goodbye" from Sunset Boulevard...it was Amazing!!!
3. She sang the CRAP OUTTA "THINK"....
4. She was wearing a watch with her million dollar dress....
5. She had a host of people onstage who saw to her EVERY move...
6. Those ladies and I danced through the whole show....much to the chagrin of those around us.
SHE IS THE EFFING QUEEN OF SOUL!
I cried...I could not believe I was there...I thank you Lady....I won't put her name down here...but I thank you from the bottom of my heart!!!