I am very sad.

Very sad.

For some reason I feel like a bit of a fraud...I felt this same way when dear Chris Skinner died.

I am sad for someone that I didn’t know well...for people that I didn’t know well.

Chris and I had spent some time together and had JUST planned a coffee date...that crucial next step when two adult people are trying to become friends...when he was murdered. His murderers are still at large a year and a half later.

I was so low after I heard the news but I felt like a voyeur...and felt like I should not be allowed to feel so sad.

It is a strange feeling.

Today is the memorial for Gina Wilkinson...who I met three times.

The last time was at a party and she was wearing that fabulous orange, fluffy coat that is in all the pictures of her online...she was so very sassy.

I was very starstruck by her...I saw her first in a very steamy episodic called “Bliss”...she was very sexy in it...and so strong.

When I saw “Born Yesterday” at Shaw...I was bowled over...what a fabulous production...and I remember thinking, “The director of this show is a master”....Gina Wilkinson...in what was her first foray onto the big stages as a director (You can correct me if I am wrong about this statement, I can take it)....WHAT A FREAKING JOB SHE DID!

It was all I could do at the party to not make a total ass of myself when I finally got the courage to go up and speak to her and compliment her on her work. She seemed surprised and she flushed with...well, whatever she was feeling...and she seemed grateful. Then we spoke for a while. I enjoyed our converstation very much...I don’t know what it was about but all I could think was...I loved her in the naughty TV show...and as a director....she seemed like a woman who was not afraid to try something new...in fact wanted it....but I really don’t know that for sure.

I didn’t know her very well.

Neil Munro, who Gina took over “Born Yesterday” from, died almost two years ago. He was in his early 60’s.

Peter Donaldson, a fantastic actor, died this month. He was in his late 50’s.

Goldie Semple, who I watched fall in love with my husband in “Night Music” a number of times...and NEVER minded...died last year...let us not tell her age...a lady, after all....but too young.

Paul Quarrington, Al Kozlik.....all gone...

I knew some better than others and some not at all.

Some I knew simply from seeing their names in articles, programs or hearing them spoken by friends. Some I spent a small amount of time with....but all changed the face of Canadian theatre and the arts...I know it is a very dramatic statement to make...but if we can’t make a dramatic statement in this business...I don’t know where we can.

And now they are all gone too young...far too young.

Does it make us all go to a place of wondering how much time we have left?

It makes me think about it.

There is so much I want to do.

It makes me look at the relationships in my life...which ones do I want to pay more attention to....which ones have faded...did I tell George I love him enough today?...should I repair some of the jihads in my life?

This isn’t about me....but it makes me think about my life.

There was a beautiful article in the Toronto Star today, written by Sarah Hampson...not about Gina’s career but her relationship with her new husband, Tom Rooney...and I read it and it dropped into my heart like a heavy weight...filling it with joy and sadness...here is my favourite part of the piece.

“Life didn’t always bring happiness to Gina, but she had the innate ability to make her own happiness,” Mr. Rooney continues. He pauses in reflection. “She was not a type,” he says. “She was Gina Wilkinson.”

Should we all be so lucky to have someone speak about us this way.

We gotta live.

Live hard.

I wish the families of all these dear people love and peace.

I wish all of these fantastic people...I wish them love and peace.

Party Girl on ITUNES

All is quiet on the western front...whatever the eff that means.
I am in the thick of shooting my SUPER SECRET TV SHOW....good wardrobe, good people...and I have not been fired yet!!! AWESOME....and I had a chance to wear my FUN FUR jacket from Songs For A New World...thank to producer of Songs, Jason Knight, for letting me walk away with it...he knows me too well...
Since I can't describe my SUPER SECRET TV SHOW to you...because it is secret...I was waiting for other awesome news to share with you...there is SO MUCH coming down the pike this year...but all needs to be finalized and I have become a bit superstitious in my older 40ish type of self.
None of that made sense.
Anyway...you all know what I mean.
Sorry if I am a bit distracted but I am on hold with that cold bitch, Mother Nature, right now...the "on hold" music is the song "Windy" ...she is such a bitch...she will probably wait for me to hang up...as you all well know, she and I share a very precarious relationship...BUT SINCE IT IS MINUS 30 DEGREES today I thought I would call the express my distaste.
We shall see where this gets me.
There is some exciting news...my CD "Party Girl" is now on ITUNES!!! IT IS!!!
So, spell my name correctly...not that I think any of you are stupid....I just have a lot more letters in my name than is usual...and ask FOR PARTY GIRL!!!
And BUY AWAY!!!
Here (thanks to Blair Francey and his cyber ways) is the link!!!
http://itunes.apple.com/ca/album/party-girl/id415127244
I hope you all are well!!!
I miss you....
I don't know when we will all see each other again....GOD, that was filled with melancholy...see what the effing Mother Nature does to me....

Last Day in London.

I can’t believe that I am on the plane back to Toronto.

But, before I forget, I would like to record some of the more important thoughts that have occured to me during my stay in jolly old England.

The Queen must hate that she lives right downtown.

Only a straight British guy can get away with saying he needs to go “Wee Wee”.

It is so much easier to buy a pair of fabulous boots when the numbers say they cost 78.15....pounds...still easier.

In the UK can you buy an Egg Mayo at the M&S right beside the H&M....which is near the V&A. From this I learned that British are a bit lazy with the words...though they love to invent nicknames for everything.

You can fill one hundred days with things to do and still not have seen everything...or learned to fucking look to the right when you are crossing the bloody street. (How I didn’t get smooshed by a LORRY is beyond me)

The painters from olden times really liked to paint Jesus and stuff like that.

If there is an empty corner in London....Scotland as well...they like to plunk down a statue of a guy on a horse....any old guy...I saw a bust of a guy who invented the drainage system...but in his defense, I am sure he changed the smell of London.

The Queen likes to put her initials EVERYWHERE.

Deep, I know.

Yesterday I got up early and went to ... the National Gallery....

I couldn't resist one more picture of Trafalgar Square as I walked into the Gallery.....

I wanted to see that painting of Lady Jane Grey...it is gorgeous and HUGE.

I love that all the museums and galleries in London are free.

I was wandering around looking very swiftly at as many paintings as possible....I turned a corner and saw this....

Now, any person who loves “Sunday in the Park With George” will, I think, be excited to see any of Seurat’s paintings...but I actually gasped.

There was a big bench in front of the formidable sized painting...he liked ‘em big...there were also a number of quite small studies that he did for the “La Grande Jatte” painting.

I sat myself down and just studied it...thinking of all of the times I have seen it in books or heard his work sung about....his technique described.

Then I thought how lucky I was to be introduced to art through musical theatre...art is so...holy crap, I hope I am using this word correctly....symbiotic...I would probably not have know anything about Seurat if not for Sondheim...I began to appreciate art because of that show.

I saw Schindler’s List, then read the book.

I read Of Mice and Men in school and then saw George play Lenny, years later.

I love the song “Starry Starry Night” and Jonnie Monro’s song “Who I Am”...and yesterday as I stood in front of the painting of the sunflowers in the National Gallery...I knew Van Gogh’s story.

Art is symbiotic.

I have looked the word up...I might be using it wrong...but I think you all get what I mean.

And just amazing.

Lord...too fancy.

So, after, I saw a bunch of paintings of Jesus...so MANY...I ran out and went to Covent Garden. I could not find a fucking shoe store for a whole week in London...REALLY??? So, I googled the fuck out of LONDON SHOES SUPERCOOL...and ended up in this wonderful little outdoor mall...there were at least 20 shoestores...I found these on sale...I wanted to buy a pair of boots to celebrate the beginning of my super secret TV series...which starts shooting next Monday...AHH!!!

These boots screamed SPECIAL !

And LONDON!!

And SHARRON!!!

I thought so anyway...so much so that I wore them out of the frigging store.

I then ran down to the London Eye...remember, I have been walking for TWO days straight...so I I stopped at M&S and got an Egg Mayo, which I spilled on my shirt...so I went to H&M and got a sweater...and continued on to the Jubilee Bridge.

This is the view I couldn’t resist on the bridge.

Then I went to the Eye...this is it!

It is huge and has a great view...I was meeting Blair, who is recently arrived in London himself for a 6 month stay...well, the freaking EYE was closed and I could not find Blair...due to no internet or cell phone I thought I might have missed him...so after 20 minutes I started to walk east on the South Bank...a bit of a ways for a gal carrying two pairs of boots...yes, I got another pair...suck it people...

I walked by the National Theatre....

St. Pauls Cathedral...I took this picture not having ANY idea what the place was...I thought it looked boarded up!

Then I realized I had time to only do one thing....the Tate Modern.....

Or Shakespeare’s Globe....

And I decided to go to the Globe.

And there was a good reason.

Yesterday, in the morning, I opened up my internet before I left the flat, and saw that Peter Donaldson had died. I didn’t know him well, had only met him a few times. But, as a gal who is not huge viewer of shows without songs, I spent a great deal of time listening to Mr. Donaldson speaking the words of Shakespeare...and he always drew me in...I always thought he was a fantastic, gifted and intriguing actor. The real thing. The last show I saw him in was Glengarry Glen Ross...and he was superb.

A number of years ago I saw him play...oh lord, Sharron...Malvolio in Twelth Night...is that right? He stood there in those yellow stockings with the black garters...I remember that. I remember him.

I thought if I had the chance to see Shakespeare’s theatre...that it might be a lovely thing....

It was gorgeous....it has no roof...of course...but it was still surprising.

I know it isn’t the original...but it doesn’t matter...it was there...and the stage was empty...I kept waiting for actors to walk onstage....

This was written, three times, in the stone out front of the visitors entrance.

Here it is....

RIP Peter Donaldson and, not forgeting, Gina Wilkinson and Graham Harley (who I didn’t know BUT LOVED on Slings and Arrows)...may we all live inspired because of you.

I then had the pleasure of running a great distance across the bridge...with my bags of boots...to meet the Blackman sisters, Karen and Gillian...friends and constant supporters of theatre everywhere.

They lived in Toronto and loved to London.

We had dinner, along with Gillian’s fiance Jacob, on a boat on the Thames.

What a lovely time we had...I had been walking around and seeing things for two days by myself...so I had a great deal to say...which, I guess, is no different that usual.

It was just a lovely moment in time...friends see each other in a whole new country.

THEN, after our lovely dinner, I met Blair...I felt horrible not finding him and he came back to Central London AGAIN and we walked around the gay village ( I think it is called something different there) with Blair trying to find a place to drink following his GPS...after a bit of time I stopped the cutest couple, who called me ‘darling’ I asked them where “The Yard” was.

After making our way there Blair and I sat outside and chatted and drank wine...another lovely moment in time...

I had to mind the time...Blair walked me to the train...through a really questionable alley...and I got on the train.

While I rode back to Blackheath I was struck over and over again about how we have to live...to take chances...to live as if we have all the time in the world but no time at all.

There are the Blackman Sisters who decided to move to London...no jobs...Blair who managed to take his job with him....Gina, Peter...

We gotta live.

Hard.

I would like to send my DEEPEST thanks my hosts, Simon, Rob and Chloe...who cared for me like I was family.

I have never felt more welcome.

My whole experiment of depending upon the kindness of strangers really broke my fear of travelling alone.

The people of London were wonderful and helpful...what an amazing city!Though one must be careful and not reckless...we also can’t be afraid to do something alone...the world will take care of us.

Does that sound just lordy and pollyanna-ish?

I don’t care!

It is true.

I have four more hours on this flight.

I am gonna close my eyes and dream of home.

Always the best place to be.

The place to dream of my next adventure.

Thanks for reading all.

And thanks to London and all of it’s fabulous people.

London Sightseeing...the kindness of strangers..and the top of my head...

So, I woke up early...okay...I was tired...I woke at 10:00am and got my shit together!

One of my dear hosts, Rob, had written down a plan for me (based on the things I told him I wanted to see) and a way to execute it...I use the word execute lightly after the things I have seen today.

And Simon, one of my other dear hosts, drove me to the O2...a huge stadium...which also is near the pier for the Thames Clipper...a water bus...a very lovely, fast water bus...that you can drink on....not that I did.

The O2 seems a bit alien to me...

It has a number of quills sticking out of it...the thing I love about it? Musical comedians play there...solo artists....WHAT?!?! LOVES!!!

The Clipper is awesome...it stops everywhere you might wanna go!

And I sat beside a child who had honey on their hands and wanted to touch my hair....WHY DOES THAT HAPPEN TO ME ALL THE TIME?!?!?!

Anyhow...here is where it took off from...very London-ish, I thought!

That sculpture on the left was very interesting I thought...again...it was the beginning of the day...I was excited to take a picture of my croissant...which I deleted.

I was really excited.

I have never been to London before...as I said...and we all know...or some of you do...that I am a history buff and a castle whore...and this place is filled with both...and whores as well....

When this some into view over the bow...oh how my heart beat....

Holy freaking London Bridge...we sang, ad nauseum, when I was a kid about how it was falling down...I never knew why it was falling down...I wanted some answers.

It really is gorgeous. And all gold on top...I became obsessed about getting it in every picture...

Oh ya...this is a good place to tell you I had two themes for my SOLO ADVENTURE today....

1. Depend on the kindness of strangers...I would keep my map in my purse and ask people where everything was.

2. Take pictures of myself with everything...don't ask someone to do it for me...see if I can do it myself...as the yin to #1's yang.

It took me 8 tries to get this picture.

The London Bridge just happens to be beside my number one destination in London....ready...drum roll bitches....

The Tower of London...the imprisoning...the torturing...the executing...the Lion's in the moat ( I swear to god! In olden times the kings kept lions around the moat...oh ya, there was a freaking moat (which now has a skating rink in it...not very olden day-ie)...the CROWN JEWELS....I could never GET ENOUGH about it when I was young...I took picture books out of the Library about it...I studied it...yes, I was a strange child...are you surprised?

I was freaking out that I was actually here...this was my first view....

I was too fucking impatient to wait for the Beefeater/Yeoman Guard to come and give the tour so I bought a audio tour ( I got lost 4 times...it is really quite huge). First of all, let me say...there isn't just one tower...there are one million...

I went on the "Execution and Imprisonment" Tour first...surprised...here are some pictorial highlights.

Traitors Gate...where a barge could fit through the archway...and the Traitors were dragged up the stairs off of the barges...to their imprisonment or exectution.

This is Beauchamp (pronouced Beecham) tower...this is where many prisoners were kept...for years and years...there was one window...that looked over the courtyard where people got executed. There were very intricate carvings in the rooms where people were kept...I didn't get a picture of them...I was quite moved by the beauty of them...some people were kept there waiting daily...for years...for their execution. Rudolf hess even spent time in the Tower.

The courtyard they could see is below....

If you were lucky enough to have the honour of being executed in the courtyard and not out on Tower Hill, (outside of the Tower) where thousands of people would come to witness your death, your body would be taken to the Chapel right behind the tree....Anne Boleyn is buried there...among many others.

It is a gorgeous chapel.

I was moved by two stories...

The story of the two princes, sons of Edward lV, who went missing and were allegedly smothered to death...I remembered the story from when I saw Richard lll at Stratford.

In the early 1660's the bodies of two boys were found under the stairs in the White Tower.

Here.

The second was of Jane Grey...Queen for 9 days...her family made it happen...she was beheaded...she was 16 years old. She is not even recognized as a queen by the line.

There was a copy of this painting in the tower where she was kept...I loved it.

So, this is going on...but here are some of my other fave pics from the Tower of London...

THEN I quickly...SO quickly....because I spent A LOT of time at the SCARY tower...where I also saw the CROWN JEWELS!!! There were shiny...and a bit gaudy...a bit show-off-ie....

I ran to Big Ben....

House of Parliment...

Westminster Abbey...

Downing Street...

The Arches.....

That leads to Buckin'ham Palace!!!!

The RITZ!!!

AND PICA-FREAKIN-DILLY Circus!!!

Oh my lord....I AM SO TIRED!!!!

Tomorrow is MORE!!!

Are you sick of my sightseeing yet???