Grease-ie

I got chills....they're judge-e-fying....and I'm losing control ......cause the performing they're providing...is........well.....hmm.......I am unsure how I feel!
Kinda nonplussed, really
Grease...Who Is The One That I Want?
First of all....that ONJ ....she got some work done, eh? Not judgin'....just stating fact....one day someone may say that about me....and I hope that it won't be true...I hope to grow old gracefully........please dear god...give me strength.
That makes me sound one hundred years old......
So....
If you watch the show....read on.. if not and it you already feel the judgement of me starting.....go look at Playbill or People on-line.........

The Danny's
They Don't seem to have alot to choose from here.

Wholesome Danny ( these catch names kill me, really)
Derek...can't remember what he sang but was impressed that he started the show and didn't totally shit his pants on live TV...will probably get my vote tonight
Hot Danny
Austin...okay guys ....he looks like a living characature of Harry Connick Jr.....am I wrong??? And he didn't put his arms down once and he stalked the stage like a Chippendale's dancer....someone called me during the show and commented that this is the kinda dude that travels through Toronto in a touring company and thinks he is hot shit...to which I laughed and then ......agreed a bit!
Second Chance Danny
Matt....they ( read David Ian) loved him in the Academy but he couldn't sing....guess what...still can't.....oooh baby......while he sang the last note of Pretty Woman I covered my eyes........sidebar....those poor two people that they brought back....they all but called them Loser Danny and Sandy.....
Slacker Danny
Max....he is my favourite.....wait!!!!!! I am gonna vote for him.....George thinks he isn't right.......he thinks he is Doody.....the character Doody ....not poop......he needs an image consultant......
Boy Band Danny
Jason......he was in Altar Boys.....so Austin should shut up about being the only one to have experience.....Just shut it, Austin!.....sadly, I find him boring. Yup....that's alI I have to say.
Bellhop Danny
Kevin....isn't it nice when the only thing that they ( read Billy Bush) can find interesting about you is that you carry peoples luggage? All I could think while he was singing the lyrics " But I'm as blue as a boy could be." was if you are so blue then STOP SMILING for shitsakes!!!!
Ambitious Danny
Chad......okay....alot to say here....he reminded me of Donny Osmond....had a bad outfit ...but I liked him until right at the end of Signed, Sealed, Delivered he just spazzed right out...I looked at it a couple times ......it was just....ah well....his hairline is not right for Danny.

The Sandy's
Now this, my friends, is anyone's game....some of these girls are just awesome but whoever is doing their clothes should be shot.........bridesmaid dresses in all colours and then two slutty short ensembles with Peter-Pan-Get-Away-Boots.....and if you are old enough to know what that means and you are still reading this.....you are my peeps.

Emotional Sandy
Ashley A.......the A stands for....."AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I shoulda quit while I looked alright" ........She cried through the whole Academy week........she looks the part to the Nth degree but cannot....I repeat...cannot sing...and she is carrying more baggage then Bellhop Danny. Oh dear.....she was the one that they brought back because they ( read David Ian) just could not accept that she so looked the part but couldn't sing. Helloooo.
Serious Sandy
Kate ....lo----o-----ve her!!!! She sang All By Myself and just cranked the shit outta it....she isn't as pretty as some....but I like her.....she is kinda gritty!
Baby Sandy
Allie....spent her whole song trying to get over her bad outfit....she wore 5 inch heels and fell during the song....and then at the end of the show when they show the best parts of performances over again....guess which part they showed???? I think she was fine.....too distracted.
Smalltown Sandy
Laura....truly bad outfit number two......but I kinda liked her she is pretty.... and sang well....but general note....please people....put down your arms............
wow......I really am glad that I am so perfect that I can critique all these people........I pause here to search my soul.....should I continue???
Yes.
Spiritual Sandy
Kathleen ....I joked just before they nicknamed her that she was going to be called Jesus' Sandy......I wasn't far wrong......I though it was ironic that they gave her a song that she had to sing the word Hell 8 times in.....she was good........sings good...pretty....a bit milk toast.....but who knows?
Ballerina Sandy
Ashley S......the S stands for......I am SOOOOO gonna be Sandy.......she blew that kiss at the end...ug...but I think the job is between her and.....
Rock Chick Sandy
Julianna.....she ain't very rocky but I think that they are runnin' outta names........George noticed that she had a bat in the stage left cave for the whole song...and due to the fact that she has large nostrils.....oh....better her than me...I like her too.....she has a great look and I think she sings pretty.........
Who knows???

I can't get enough.....I was takin' notes......I think I take my blog too seriously.....wait....soul search????
NOPE!

New Card!!!

Do You Like it???

Wanna see the back???

Who peed in my ?????

So, I wake up and read my blog from last night and ....I sound angry.........hmmmmmm....sometimes funny sounds angry........sometimes.....TRYING to be funny sounds angry.
No matter.
:)
Okay....it is fricken ( I am trying to clean it up for the younguns) cold.
I got up to go to the chiro at 8:00am.....who the hell do I think that I am gettin' up that early....and it made me want to kill myself just a bit....not alot...but enough.
;)
Alright........Oprah has lost the common touch....I was watching one of the 12 episodes of her program that I had let build up on my PVR...I watched them all.....it was alot of self righteousness at once.
Anyway....she was talking to some people who went on her Debt Diet and they were talking about selling their cars and counting ther pennies and she's nodding along.....does she think that we live in caves??.....we know what kinda money she has....she is filthy, stinking, wretched rich....then she has the nerve to say, " I don't have any money to give you guys, don't look at me"...now let me think.......?
I love it when she has experts on and asks their opinion on a subject that they spent 20 years or more studying....and then gives her opinion at the end of it all to wrap it up.....Thanks Oprah.
See....no common touch.
:) !!!!!
Well, I am off to my M & M Meats callback.
Oooohhhh.
I hope I don't suck it up.

Till Death.....

Good day on set!!!
Love that .....was NOT humiliated or made to feel stupid....that is sad that that makes it a good day on set.
No, no, no.....when I got there I saw that it was a director and a producer that I had worked with before and I was doing my scene with Linda Kash...who is the only woman that I do TV with anymore....it seems.....and I ain't complaining baby!!!!!
WE had a great day...even though I almost froze my ta ta's off.
Cold....holy shitty poop!
And we were in my hometown...the Hammer....that always make me feel that I have the home court advantage...whatever the fuck that means.
Tomorrow I go back in for a callback for 5 M & M Meat commercial spots and I would be lying if I didn't tell you... I WANT 'Em......but friends...if I never mention them again after this day...please don't ask...it means that I didn't get it and wish to never speak of it again!!!

Sharron's Party NOT on Strike

Sharron's Party is NOT...i repeat....NOT on Strike!!!

We are too fabulous to ever do anything like that....

REALLY!

It is just about 2 weeks away and we just finished our new card and I could not be more excited about it. I am gonna send it out tomorrow and if you find yourself not on my email list ....just drop a line here and I will include you.

It hs been busy with home and life things...which is good...

but now it is time to work!

OKAY.....Ce Ce ....Beauty and The Geek....what a bitch....I thought that she might just be stupid and cute at the beginning but now......

BITCH!!!!

She doesn't deserve Nate.

And one other thing...how stupid do you have to be to not know how to work a walkie-talkie...and then not be able to figure it out....

for 15 minutes...

wow....that is some kinda dumb.

I love that show...

Now..I am totally into

"You're The One That I Want"

I thought it was gonna be stupid but I cannot stop myself....

the weird Harry Connick looking guy is ....hmmm....what is he....very New York.

I like Max and Ashley to win...please Bob.

And maybe one other thing....

I hate

HATE

American Idol right now...

those three really think that they are something special...

and they are just warm poop in a dixie cup...remember that saying?

It isn't right to make fun of people's looks.....

and it ya wanna make fun of someone's mental state...

look no farther than the Ewok in the middle....

Is that making fun of her too hard....

oh wait.....

I DON'T CARE!!

They are just fucking mean.

When will Lost start?

Sharron....where are you?

Alright...

I come and I go...

It is busy then it's not.....

I write every cay when I clean my colon and then when I go away.

Fickle?

Non?

After the cleanse I went into such a euphoric state.....yes...that was where my euphoria was........that I just went into hibernation.

I have also been doing commercial auditions up the yin yang...cause that is what we ACTRA people can do...

I have to say that I am more than a bit nervous about the industry...there was a huge article in the paper today about how we are wrecking it for everyone and making them lose jobs....it is in the Star.....but we have issues that are important..it just comes at a very bad time...I want to work, too.

I am doing a TV show next week, they signed a waver with ACTRA, and I am playing, what? A secretary... I am getting good at those.

It is called `Till Death Do Us Part`and it is about spouses who kill each other...black comedy I hope...I don`t know...I haven`t had time to read the script.

Gonna work on some projects today .....ho hum...

nothing exciting....haven`t even watched my `` Beauty and the Geek`` on tape yet..

DAY 10!!!!!

I did it!!!

I did it!!!!

I almost cannot believe it myself!

DAY 10!!!!

Of the master cleanse!!!

Last night I dreamt of really, really salty hickory sticks...which was one of my passions growing up...that and turkish delight....who knew?

Yesterday George and I went and met our friend....****... ( maybe they don't want you to know who they are) for lunch,

oh sorry,

tea at Starbanks.....yes, that is what I called it....he is also on the cleanse, that is why they remain nameless....those of us on it have been getting flack from some......so what did we talk about for an hour??

Our ....hmmm....how do I put it....let me think...

poo.

It becomes very interesting when you are doing this...and I have to say it is one of the reasons I am looking forward to being off of it.....I want other interests.

So, I count down the hours...now we go into the two day wean..( hehehe...I said wean)..which is liquids the first day, raw fruit, soup and salad the second day and then back to biz as usual.

George and I eat pretty well and plan tonotgorge ourselves..it kinda beats the whole purpose.

OH YA!

For those of you who wanna see there is a new bit of

"The Party"

on youtube....

it is the sing-a-long!!!

GLORIA~~~!

It was one of my faves...you may even see yourself ...and if you do...please celebrate and be not pissed that you are on youtube!

Did you watch Beauty and the Geek last night!!

Oh my god....I love that show!!!

The blondes are taking over!!

I just noticed that I like to use alot of exclamation marks!

Good for me!!!

Day 8

I didn't write on Day 7 because I was trying to pretend I wasn't on the cleanse and lead a normal life....but then after I did a voice-over job...thank you, jesus.....I walked over to the Eaton's Centre to ONLY window shop (that was for George...I bought a t-shirt for 7.99 @ Old Navy...that doesn't count as shopping) and half way through the mall got so wiped that I had to sit down. Then I drank some of my " lemonade" and felt some better.....

Now, don't let anyone tell you otherwise....this Master Cleanse is hard!

All these friends were like

" Oh, it's the best I've ever felt !"

.....and.......

" Oh, I was totally euphoric!"

I have one question for them....

WHERE IS MY FREAKIN' EUPHORIA?

HUH?

Hmmmm....anyway...I went, a little light-headed and, yes, a bit angry, to my friend and hair guru, Bill's place for my

"Every 4 months"

haircut...it should really be every 3 months but I always wait too long...then in a moment of frustration cut my own bangs and then Bill is frustrated with me.....anyway....I go to Bill's house and he gives me a fabu haircut....how did I ever live without him?

He also makes me laugh like a son-of-a-bitch.

We all need that when we are starved and a bit angry.

So, I have to go back a bit.... but during the voice-over I am chatting wih the other actors and I find out that I am on strike.

Hmm.

I am on strike?

Do I feel any different?

For those of the four of you reading who might not know..... Actra, the Film and TV Union, is trying to ratify and agreement with the producers that will include the new aspects of our business.....internet and residuals....the second is nothing new but we did need a better agreement for that.

Oh...I just bored myself...I used ratification in a sentence.....

anyway...so the long and short of it is...

I am on strike.

Maybe I should ge a Norma Rae outfit.

We actors don't ever need work in January.

Do we?

Eek.

Now....on another note.....our friend Lisa was telling me that she had been trolling some of the more upscale gossip pages so I went to see some of them.....ooohhh....gossipy.......

Well, I have my own personal gossip person, bet you didn't know that....we shall call him.....

"Georgerina"

and he has a couple big celebrity couple predictions of his own for 2007...

are you ready?

After watching Brangelina and then living through her real life break-up with Vince Vaughn ......poor, poor Jennifer couldn't take it anymore and has run straight into the arms of....

Chris Rock!

HUH? Huh?

Who knew?

And that skanky, not so bright Jessica Simpson has been seen with that music guy John Mayer but it really is a cover for her affair with.....

Chow Yun Fat!

He was in LA and just couldn't get over how hot she was....the rest.... as they say.........is Herstory.....

But ( and this is for Lisa) Georgerina might just be makin' it up!

You Tube her......And Day 6

Wowie....I am on youtube......it feels like a dream......

It is very exciting, really, no joke......There are three on there now...James just put on the TV Songologue that I lovingly call

" All In the Finale"

Hmm...ahaha...snort.

I am also retooling the webpage with the fabu help and work of my awesome Webguy, Rob.....

That is alot of oneself to take.

So, tonight....

I wasn't gonna watch it but now that it is getting close.....

I find that I cannot wait.....

"You're The One That I Want "

premieres tonight at 8:00pm and I would be a huge liar if I didn't say I couldn't be more excited to see what kinda mess that is gonna be.

What do you guys think?

George and I are having a challenging time filling some of the not- eatin- time.

But I finally beat his ass at Scrabble last night and then we watched

" An Inconvinent Truth"

Amazing and Scary....said Sharron......

Wait....are we getting boring.....I have nothing fun to say.....

Wait....is the Cleanse stealing my sense of humour and mischief???

Ug......

Day 5

Angry again...
Sigh.......
Then went out for a walk and felt better.....been out late the last two nights and I don't think you are meant to do that on the cleanse......THE CLEANSE.......I will not be beaten by a cleanse.....but oh could I eat....last night I dreamt that .......I met a Gallalean..........whoever gets that ....

A) Understands that I am a bad speller and has made allowances.....
B) Is a musical theatre gaylord and I love you

So, last night I dreamt of one of my favourite childhood treats....are your ready to really read about a girl from Hamilton.....the meat and potatoes capital of Canada.....

Favorite Childhood Treat of Sharron>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Wonder Bread
&
Butter
&
Corn from the Can ( hopefully from the , ho-ho-ho, Green Giant)~!!!!!!!!!

I haven't had it in years and it is all that I want to eat right now.....it is as good as it sounds.....mmmmm......How did I ever get to be overweight as a child??? I ask you?
But I perservere......spelled right...who knows......but you get my drift.
Last night I went over to my Diva, Patrick's house, and we played Celebrity...I love games but I especially love that game!!!!!! There were a few others....one of the funniest ladies around....Lisa ....she is the blond woman from the Ikea commercial ...ya know...."Start the car!!!".... and her equally recognizable husband Matthew.....you know the Pepsi commercial ......the guy with the really tight jeans....they are the couple around town...funny, funny funny.....and James...Diva's partner.......also funny....and Weezy and Rob......I don't want to leave them out...also funny and Weezy is from across the pond so she says things like "bollocks" and means it!!!! And sounds awesome sayin' it!
We played for 4 hours.....it was some serious playing .
Patrick did a charade that looked like he was trying to act out.... eating baby.....with ears ....and shitting it out........it ended up being Winnie the Pooh......hmmm....We laughed our asses off.
Literally, because the others weren't on the cleanse and were eating and as we breathed George and I ate away at our precious, precious calories....sigh.
Love the celebrity.
So, I am on Youtube.....yup.....put in my name and see what comes up babies!!!
And then tell your friends.......
Only 5 more days....I am almost over the hump.......

Day 4....

Feelin' Good, babies....maybe a little too focused on food a few times a day....I mean how long has it really been since I had a bowl of Chef Boyardee ( I use capital letter cause he is a chef) ravioli ????? As of 4:00am this morning, too fucking long.....but I am feelin' good...just like that Micheal Buble...he sang that song, right?

So, two nights ago, in our quest for culture, George and I watched the two hour season opener of.....Beauty and the Geek.....I poo pooed it....Georgie got hooked on it last year when he was in Halifax.....how dare he!! I watched it with him, much like how I went to see Borat......against my better judgement....then after 10 minutes I was hooked...thank god I will never try crack or meth...I clearly have a highly addictive personality.....I couldn't stop watching....I LOVE IT!!! George may think that it makes up for Borat ....but it doesn't.

No...it does not.

We sit and eagerly await the rest of the TV season to start because we can't really go out anywhere....how do you meet friends for coffee when you can't drink it.....my publicist, friend and show maven Grant and I are meeting tomorrow and he was all flummoxed ( I pick two m's for that word) about what to do.....

" Will you just sit and watch me eat?!"

"Yes."

"Hmm."

I think that he is none too happy about it.... don't blame him...I may drool.....I really am having cravings for food I don't eat...often....Mac and Cheese.......Hickory Sticks......Lard......oh god.....with Butter .......slurp....you know that this blog is the only thing that is really keeping me from going off of the cleanse......I will not be beaten.....nor will cave in front of the 4 of you!

On I high note I have only one more person to book for my next block of 4 shows ......very exciting and eclectic guests.....I wonder if I can eat them....

Did I just say that....well, I thought it....that can't be good....

Day 3.....

Day 3 baby!!!!!!

I got over my huge anger of yesterday sometime last night and now.....now my friends......I am on my way .....

I am gonna go all 1o days!!!

LOOK OUT COLON!

George and I just went to see Borat....against my better judgement.....I don't like that Ali G guy.....never have....George really wants me to like him....but I don't....... he is rude and mean...he makes people look stupid...mostly his stupid ass self....but I digress...we went with our friends Ryan and Kerry.....it was shitty....he had a naked fight with a huge, hairy man who had his balls in his mouth....I could go farther and describe it but I won't ...that should be enough... I spent most of the mvoie with my eyes covered so that I didn't have to see him humiliating people......I don't like his ass face....as Corky St. Clair would say.

What have I done???

So...In the interest of starting off my year right I am doing the Master Cleanse........why would I do that??? You are asking I know....well at a Christmas Eve dinner party that I hosted at my house my friend and hair guru Bill told me about it and I know some friends who have been on it.....so I began to think.... a very dangerous thing....thinking......

During my last show and through the Christmas season I had fell a bit off my very well-oiled eating regime that I have been maintaining for about 5 years and when I say fell off ...I mean.....I ate anything that looked like food.....I ate..... and all was good.

But, my friends, I have been crankier than my usual crank so thought when Bill was telling me all about it that it just might be the ticket......

So, George went on the intraweb and did the research.....cause he is all gung ho, too......and he is better at the research.......he said that it looked good to him......he said that it would be a challenge but he thought we were up to it.....god forbid that I should check it out myself.....hmm.

So, on new years day......George and I had some burgers and fries and milkshakes to prime ourselves for the cleanse.....I mean it was just gonna come out in a matter of hours anyway right?? Was that TMI ????

I mean, it is me.....with me is there ever TMI??????

Maybe yes, Maybe no.

And then yesterday morning I woke up and had the first part of a three part plan.

1. 32 ounces of Sea Salt Water.....doesn't that sound refreshing??? Water....with salt......you know what it tastes like???

Blood....not that I am a vampire.....but ya know when you cut your finger and your first instinct is to shove the bloody fingy into your piehole??

THAT is what it tastes like!!!!!

32 ounces......which is about four glasses.... after the first your throat says...."Go fuck yourself.... I am sending this back up!"

I have a bad gag reflex...you do the math.....BUT I did it....you know what happens next?????

After you...finally....get it down....your body says....

"Oh, that is blood....I am gonna send that down south.....as FAST AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE!!"

We were warned by others not to leave the house too fast after the sea salt....weren't they right....it ain't pretty folks.

2. Then, for the rest of the day you drink this mixture of cayenne pepper, lemon juice, maple syrup and water.....yummy.........warm water.....oooohhhh yummier...I waxed and waned nauseous and headachy all the live long day.......and whined.....so I waxed, waned and whined.......that might be the title of my first CD....but then by the evening I felt ......not bad....not good.....but not bad either.....I had high hopes for this morning and I think it would have been okay if we hadn't had......

3. Senna Tea just before bed......ya know what that is???It is nature's little laxitive .....yup.....gentle softener....well, soft ....if soft is gut wrenching cramps at 6:00am......and then you clean out and start the day all over again........ah.....so this morning before the sea salt I had.....

4. A nervous breakdown........why.....WHY AM I DOING THIS???????!!!! I cried and had a fit and blamed George and said I wasn't going to do it anymore! Fuck this........

Then I made George fix me the salty drink and I focused on the Squirrel outside the window and drank the blood..........I mean water....I only lost a bit into the sink....

I will not be beaten by a frinken' cleanse....I am gonna feel better goddamn it...........we shall see....huh??