Toddlers and Tiaras...is it the end of the world...?

Or is it just me.

I have watched a few shows lately that have made me peer outside the door to see if the four horsemen...that's what it is right? Four horsemen? To see if they are taking a ride down my street.

One show that I watched for 10 minutes, and crapped over, was a show that they call, "Dance Moms"...for the record...all of these Dance Moms should be ashamed of themselves. Fighting amongst each other...bitching at their kids...putting them in bad circumstances...living out their own dreams of grandeur...yah, I said it...grandeur through their kid...it is gross. And I turned it off...thankfully.

I HATE they shows where Moms are being shitty to their kids.

But then...every once in a while I am trolling through the TV online guide and I see an ad for Toddlers and Tiaras and I feel my interest being peaked...and though my mind screams, "No!!!"...my remote finger says, "Oh hells yes!!". Which sounds dirty...but it is not.

And there I am...watching Moms put their daughters in outfits like this...

The Mom dressed her daughter...as a hooker...and after she said ( the mother did)...."I might have made a bad decision"....DO YA THINK!?!?!?
She is dressed as a hooker...okay, it is a hooker with a heart of gold and all....but still...I wonder what Julia Roberts thinks of playing that role now.
Huh.
Anyhow...I am all warm and cozy in my house in Stratford thinking..."Well, how bad can it be this week...."

I would like to write out a direct quote from one of the mothers on the show right now...I have paused it...and I would like to inform you that this statment was made as mostly a voice over while the father is shaving the 3 year old's eyebrows...the kid looks terrified...


"We want to start her out young, teaching her not that she needs make up and hair to be pretty but you're ultimately going to get married and have kids and so I think pagents are one way to teach her to dress well and do those things that her husband needs. Because, you know, I mean that is a need a man has in his life. And I want my girls to give that to their husband like I want to give it to my husband."

I would like to pause here while I peer out my front window again...
Nothing.
Huh.


Lady...you are kooka.
This is the same woman that said to the camera...while gluing eyelashes onto her daughter...again, a 3 year old daughter...and got some glue in her eye and the kid just howled..."You can love pagents AND you can love Jesus"...I wonder if Jesus likes false eyelashes and boob enhancers...for 3 year olds.

I gotta turn it off...I can't support this...these bitches are crazy..

Just 3 more minutes...I am going to hell...or maybe heaven...I hope Jesus is dressed like a drag queen.