Week Two: Stratford Garbage Tags and Tebow...with a bit of Beyonce

So, I had to get up at 9:30am...suck it, judgers...I got home late...and I don't have kids...and I am on a workation...vayworktion...you know what I mean...9:30am is effing early...I had to get up because we have a lot of garbage (because we were away so long I forgot what day garbage day was...I wonder if that is like Maggie Smith's character from Downton Abbey not knowing what a weekend was...I have never watched the show...that is the only reference I know...but it sounds like a new "Golden Girls" as far as I can tell.).
In Stratford you need garbage tags to get said garbage picked up.
Did I have garbage tags...no.
So, I hop in the car (in my pajamas...like the people I always judge) and get to the store and ask for 10...so I don't have to go back again for a while.
The lady behind the counter smiles nervously and tells me that she can only sell me 5.
I guess the look on my face was enough because her eyes widened and she very quickly added, "But I'll sell you ten!!! I'll sell you ten!!!"
Why the fuck would the City of Stratford decide that we are so crazy that we should only be allowed to be responsible for 5 garbage tags at a time...what are we gonna do? Trade them for meth?
Anyway.

Here are some things that I can't believe we give a shit about today.

1. Did Beyonce fake her pregnancy and have a baby via surrogate?!
Who gives a shit? So what if she wanted to pretend that she was pregnant? So what if she was pregnant? So what if we all knew she would name her baby something crazy and stupidly silly? It is her ( and by "her" I mean her stage parents') life.  The thing I am still mad about is how thoughless it was to drop that beautiful bedazzled mike on the ground after she sang "Love On Top" as some awards show and then rubbed her belly!! What a beautiful mic. Forget the kid, I want that mic!!

2. Who the fuck is Tebow? (I know the picture above is someone else with his head added...but it made me laugh). And why does everyone call him Jesus? Who gives a shit? And then I found out...through the google...that he was a football player and I just rolled my eyes. It is football, people. Fucking football. And people judge me for thinking Prince is Jesus...he is way more fucking versatile and talented than Tebow...at least from what I can tell on the google.