Rob Ford's Crack and WHAT THE FUCK IS THE SENATE?! Sharron Gets Political. WHAT?

Oh, my god...I got so mad about politics last night after watching the news...imagine, me watching the news...and then watching Mary Walsh on the Youtube talking about the Senate...that I had to say something...and you all know that I don't know much about the politics...BUT I think I know about bull crap...and people, WE ARE SURROUNDED!!!

1.The Continuing Story of the BOOB Mayor Rob Ford and his Half Wit Brother, Doug: A Tale of "CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS EFFER IS STILL MAYOR OF A WORLD CLASS CITY?

What an embarrassment. 

I just watched Mayor Rob Ford  at a news conference, BARELY able to read his speech about the Casino deal THANKFULLY dying... it was like a 14 year old sweating and stumbling through his debate opener, and then his idiot brother rebutted (is that a word?) said, "The Premier has been undecisive..." 

Has he? 

What IS that exactly? 

Between this idiocy, the fridge magnet debacle...ug, did you read about that?...and remember THESE things...he flipped of a woman while driving his car and talking on his cell phone...WHO HAS THAT MANY HANDS!?!? He was pictured READING while driving....

LORD!...he was in court for SO MANY THINGS... using his Mayorship to raise funds for his football team...then he drove his car past a TTC streetcar while the doors were open and then called the cops because the driver yelled at him...OH and when he called 911 when the TERRIFYING Mary Walsh stood on his lawn to ask him a few questions...he spent thousands of dollars to take away the bike lanes on Jarvis that the city had JUST put in two years before...to LESS expense...HE has got SOMETHING against bikes, I tell you...SO MANY THINGS TOO MANY TO COUNT...these are just the things that bug ME!!! 

2. And in the file of "WHAT IS THE SENATE, EXACTLY? WAIT, YOU are KIDDING ME!"...

...THEN, I read about this Duffy deal thingie...

"The once-treasured party fundraiser and bon vivant become a serious political liability this week after word leaked that Harper’s chief of staff, Nigel Wright, wrote a personal cheque for $90,000 to Duffy to cover repayment of improperly claimed living expenses."-The Toronto Star. 

http://www.thestar.com/news/canada/2013/05/16/senator_mike_duffy_claimed_expenses_while_campaigning_for_conservatives_in_2011.html

Um, isn't that guy the idiot from that TV show...how did he get to be in government?

Huh.

The Senate...the Senate...what did Mary say about the Senate?

http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/04/02/22-minutes-mike-duffy-ambush_n_2999588.html 

WHAT the FUCK.

AND, I always say I don't know jack about politics...but I just looked into 'the Canadian senate'...and it seems to be a weird place where, if you have been in the good graces of a PM...even if you have ZERO political experience...you can go and get paid up to $90,000.00 a year for doing nothing...and can NEVER get kicked out...no matter what you might do...or what laws you might break...so...with my limited understanding...it seems to be basically like an awesomer, political 'Hotel California'.
Hey Senate!
How the eff do I get in? 

3.AND in conclusion! Let us not forget the losing of 3.1 Billion Dollars in the washing machine, or something... 

CAN WE ALL RECALL THAT THE CONSERVATIVE GOVERNMENT, UNDER THE GUIDANCE OF STEPHEN I-DO-WHATEVER-I WANT HARPER, LOST 3.1 BILLION DOLLARS. 

I would like to say WAY TO GO all of you Conservative voters. You have done some fine work.
 

OH! I forgot...AND then there is the crack thing...and when I first read it on twitter last night I thought they had caught Rob Ford walking around with plumber butt...which seemed pretty much right up his alley.

BULL CRAP!!

 

Abercrombie and Fitch & Teen Prostitute Barbie.

Do you know what?
I can't even give one load (!) of energy to the Abercrombie and Fitch thing.
Except this.
I hate that effing store.
I have always hated that effing store.
Since the dawn of time they have designed their "WOMEN'S" clothes with teen prostitutes or teen barbie...prostitutes...in mind.
Their large size sweatshirt would fit a four year old...or teen prostitute barbie.
I have never nor will I ever aspire to be teen prostitute barbie.
So, I shop elsewhere.
What the-fuck ever.


(The following was added after much mulling over.)

WAIT!!! Do you know WHAT ELSE?
DO NOT let anyone tell you that you can't have whatever dream you are dreaming based on your size, your looks or any other 'flaw' that they perceive.
That, my friends, IS BULLSHIT!
Dream BIG ALL YOU FABULOUSLY DIFFERENT people.
We WILL not let people put us in a box or BABY IN THE CORNER.
NEVER.
NOW GO OUT THERE AND DO SOME SHIT!! xoxoxoxo

FYI: This is the guy, Mike Jefferies, who doesn't like ugly fat people...I mean, really...jesus wept.)
(Douche)

‏

And No One Came. But we still Happened.

I woke up with a hell of a headache and an I-Ate-Too-Much-Wendy's-Late-At-Night racing heartbeat...and a mix of joy, sadness, and Did-I-Swallow-A-Bag-Of-Cottonballs in my soul...I don't know if it's good or bad...but I know I love it so...I'm a little bit country...wha? Where the fuck? 

Lord. 

This girl was NOT born to drink. 

Surprisingly. 

I have wrestled with whether I was gonna write this or not since 8:00pm last night.

And a mighty match it was...

BUT, in the end, I decided I would... in the interest of science... experimenting... the arts in Canada... the fucking Maple Leafs... Survivor finale... and Mother's Day...and Donny and Marie...I don't know why Donny and Marie...you can ask the bottle of Pinot Grigio that I drank last night...the liver wants what it wants, people.

The bane of this last few months in Toronto for me has been finding a balance. A balance of how to fill houses when you are doing more than one project a month...wait...more than one project in three months...it is a problem/thing/conundrum (SP? I don't effing care...you know what I mean) that never goes away...I have written about it numerous times...and it still boggles my mind...I have commiserated with artists from Rick Miller to Maggie Cassella....Brendan Healy to Louise Pitre...from across the ocean to right here at home...it is the mathematical equation that NO one can quite figure out...shows get amazing reviews...killer word of mouth and then? 40% houses.

It can make one want to quit it all...sell everything...and go to Tofino...and live off the land...as long as there is an outlet for my hair straightener...a girl has to have limits. 

I mean, I am not a fucking barbarian.

I have had great houses this year...I have been very lucky...I have done A LOT of projects so I am very thankful...and I have worked hard on getting bums in seats...as I am sure anyone on my email list, my FB friends, the people who FOLLOW me (this is a term that freaks me out) on Twitter will attest to the fact that I am out there...there is a constant worry about over saturation.... sigh... worry... sigh... tension... sigh...saturation...and when people come, great happiness occurs AND  then the tiny brain worm of "What about next time?" when the curtain comes down.

It is just the truth.

Can you tell what I am leading up to?

I don't actually know if you can.

I love the idea of The Happening. 

I surely do.

ALL these different artists...telling stories a different way...meeting each other in the dressing room and exchanging ideas...pondering new collaborations...it is very exciting to me.

And the first one in March was light in the audience... BUT they were mighty and appreciative and the performers were stellar.

And May...well, the artists I had lined up were so amazing and interesting....

AND we were the Critic's Pic in the Now Magazine....

And when my dear George, ever the bearer of bad news to me (AND GOOD NEWS...but when there is bad news to be told everyone makes him do it  because...let's face it...he has made it throught 20 years with me so he has to have some tricks up his sleeve)  came to the dressing room at 7:55pm to tell me that NO ONE was in the audience...I just about shit.

No one.

On the night of the Leafs thing...the Survivor Finale...and Mother's Day...no one came out to see this amazing night of music and laughter.

Lord...the embarrassment...the horror...the sadness...the shock...it was like when I rented "Hostel" on Rogers-On-Demand....the horror...I couldn't look away.

It was everything I have always been afraid of.

And it...Happened.   

No loud noise...no trumpets...there won't be trumpets...just a dull drop in the gut.  

Huh.

What do you say?

Everyone had rehearsed... made the trip... did the soundcheck... put on their glad rags... and there we were.

Standing at the bar...looking a bit shell shocked...everyone was great about it... but, again, I couldn't help but feel responsible...  Lord.

That is when Jason White, who was playing the piano for the awesome Van Abrahams said, "Well a Happening is where a bunch of artists get together and perform for each other...and jam...we should do that..."

Huh.

So, we did...and it was quite magical...a lot of people who weren't scheduled to perform got up and did their thing...Jazz who is a wonderful Hip Hop artist (and happens to run the tech in the Cabaret space) got up and jammed to a beat that Cooch laid down...yes, I said hip things there... Helene, who is the wife of Patricia in Crackpuppy got up and sang Danny Boy... Michael who runs Statlers... who DID show up, cried a tear as she sang... Cooch sang Georgia, holding a beer in his hand while Jason improvised on piano...and Wendy sang Bacharach and told a story about how much she loved the old time variety shows...Van sang from the show 'Songs of Freedom' that he had written... Crackpuppy tore the place down...and then...because I had been drinking a wee bit...I got up with them and screamed notes I don't usually scream as we all sang "Should I Stay or Should I Go"...there was laughter...joy...the dry ice machine was pumping...and we appreciated each other's talent.

We talked about the time the Barenaked Ladies first performed in LA to a totally empty room...about the documentary that showed Jann Arden handing out her own flyers on a corner in NYC for her show...about people in Edinburgh performing with 3 people in the audience...with one of those three people being a reviewer.

I still felt a little sad in my heart...I still do ... BUT we made the best of a bad situation...and we laughed it off with true Canadian style.

And I drank a lot of Pinot Grigio.

Huh.

I don't know the future of this event that I truly believe in. 

But I will not let it weigh my soul down for too long.

I hesitate (or don't, really...you all know me) to say I have one more gig this month...yup...I do...and it is one of my fave gigs in town...I sit and sing...and tell stories...and, in honour of Betty Buckley reminding me how much I love musical theatre I will be trotting out some musical theatre tunes...but after that...THAT IS IT for a while.  

This girl has OBVIOUSLY gotta take a moment, people.

WAIT!!! Don't feel bad for me all you wonderful readers...I can take it...it will pass...I do believe in the talent and our audiences in Canada...and that we seem to be totally thrilled that our hockey team is doing something special in their category OR whatever...and that we all REALLY love Survivor (I do...) and our mothers. These are all good things...

I thank the fabu talent that came out last night from the bottom of my heart...and thank them for sharing it like we were being all artsy like at the Burning Man or something.

And Shelley, who we would never ask to do stand up in a room with 10 people in it...who's dear husband ran over to pick her up on a commercial during the sporting event...WE LOVE YOU!! Thank you for showing us your monkey...underwear!!

Here is a link to the tickets for my gig on May 31st at the Flying Beaver Pubaret...my long time friend and cabaret mentor, Mark Cassius will be guesting.

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/373597
 

Oh, the fun we will have.

No matter who comes.

:)

Well, people, I have to go and find my car....

Here are some shots from last night's AWESOME Happening.....

 

Cooch!!!

Crackpuppy!!!

Helene

Jazz!!

Van and Jason!!!

Wendy!!!

 

 

  

 

  

  

 

 

The Seven Stages with Betty Buckley

Last night, I had the good fortune to go the Richmond Hill Centre for the Performing Arts and see concert/cabaret legend, Betty Buckley.

Of course, I grew up watching her on 'Eight is Enough' and then as the sympathetic-yet-then-cut-in-half-by-a-riser teacher in Carrie (when I was finally allowed to watch it). So, it was to my amazement that much later I found out she could sing...as Grizabella in Cats and then in so many other musicals...and, most importantly to me, as a cabaret/concert artist.

I had never seen her live.

I wondered what the heck it would be like.

It were Magical, actually.

And a workshop in concert performance and song interpretation.

I went through the seven stages (is that how many there are?) of cabaret emotions and thoughts while I watched her:

- the 'oh, she performs with a stand with her words on it...huh' stage

- then the 'who gives a fuck that she performs with a stand with her words on it' stage

- the 'wow, that voice is huge as hell' stage

- then the 'her arrangements are fucking killer' stage

- the 'huh...I really love musical theatre songs' stage

- the 'what will happen and is happening to musical theatre in Canada' stage

- the 'who would want to do anything but stand with a mic and perform wonderful songs that you pick and not have to wear a costume and say the same lines over and over' stage

 - the 'well, Sharron, maybe that is not for you but it is for many other talented people who love the eff out of it' stage

- the 'she just yelled out "FASTER" to her player and then continued to snap her fingers for a full minute so he got the point' stage

- the 'her pianist is John McD and he has won a grammy and an emmy...and he is getting snapped at' stage

- the 'I guess he doesn't seem to mind because she is Betty EFFing Buckley' stage

- the 'I think he still might mind' stage

 

- the 'that was an awkward introduction to Garth Drabinsky sitting in the audience and no one knows quite what to do' stage      

AND all the while I went through the aforementioned stages I was going through the 'I just cried through her brilliantly simple rendition of 'Venice' by William Finn...her amazing version of 'I've Grown Accustomed to Her Face' and the 'Hey There' from Pajama Game* was bliss' and she just sang the holy hell out of all those men's songs from Sweeney Todd' stages  

I think that is more than seven stages...BUT, you see, I had a lot of thinking going on.

I went from inspired to unsure then thrilled and moved.

She sure can tell a story...a wonderful story...which is my fave thing...and she can make you laugh and then cry...and there is a very old school/lady of the stage grandiosity about her (that is a word, right?) in the way she moves and gives the audience over to the pianist...and then takes you back like you were just on loan for a minute.

And at then end, after singing songs from the American Broadway Songbook for almost two hours, when the audience screamed out "SING MEMORIES!!!!" (LORD...and I was cringing for her...and for the audience...huh) she complied with much grace without any fuss at all...and sang the effing crap out of it...really...it was something to behold.

Lessone learned...it was very Maya Angelou, who said "If someone asks you to sing...sing"...I am paraphrasing, I know.

Why would you not want to sing the song that people hope you will sing?

They loved the rest of the concert...the audience...but it was the icing on the cake.

How wonderful.

Thanks to the Richmond Hill Centre for The Performing Arts for bringing her!

You should really check out their new season coming up...they are an amazing and forward thinking arts facility...so many amazing artists have played there...they brought Patti LuPone up last year...and this year Linda Eder is coming and Sandra Bernhard...here is their new season! GO!!!

http://www.rhcentre.ca/

  

AND don't forget that this weekend is THE HAPPENING at Buddies in Bad Times. 

Sunday May 12th at 8:00pm come and be amazed by the diverse talent that Canada has to offer...and maybe perform yourself in one of the 2 wild card slots...it was be an evening of MAD variety.

We are a CRITIC's Pic in the Now MAGAZINE people!!! HERE is the link!

http://www.nowtoronto.com/stage/listings/listing.cfm?listingid=104260&subsection&category&criticspicks&date1&date2&locationId=0

Here is the link to the Facebook Event Page:

http://www.facebook.com/events/155967364577775/?ref=ts&fref=ts

Here is the Buddies Page:

http://buddiesinbadtimes.com/event/the-happening-a-mad-night-of-variety/

 

COME on out and PASS IT ON!!
GO SEE SOME theatre PEOPLE!! 
 

 

 

Here is Betty with Michael G, Peter Phoa and me with some weird wench hip.

     * I wrote earlier in the day that 'Hey There' was from Pal Joey. My pal Lisa called and corrected me. There you go...what the eff do I know?