Tuesday, March 31, 2009

What the Fuck.


When we took the sweet Cassie girl, our three month roommate from the Toronto Humane Society, back to that very same place for a blood test, the people who work there ( they are quite amazing in their love for animals) saw us and know we are suckers for a sad puppy..... we really are... is that a bad thing?
So, when Trey, he is and animal investigator on Animal Housecall with Ann Rohmer on CP24, when Trey told us he had a dog he wanted us to see, I resisted for about 2 and a half seconds...why not... what harm could it do... we left sweet Cassie with Laura up front and off we went.
Trey told us that Tyson, that was the pups name, was brought in the day before by someone who was moving to the states... now... I try not to judge, what do I know?.... but still... so we walk up to his little shelter pen and we can't see him, he has managed to shove his entire 110 pound frame under a 6 inch high pallet....yes.. he weighs 110 pounds.... and Trey calls his name over and over... he doesn't move until about the 10th call and then the biggest, widest eyes come up... he is terrified.
OH MY GOD... I want him... that is all I can think.... please let me take him now.....
But we decide to have a night to think about it....
I can't stop thinking about him... even as the sweet Cassie girl is laying with her head in my lap....I worry that she might be unhappy... and she has had a hard life... but what if she has a friend to spend her time with... what if... oh lord.
We have only ever had one dog a a time.
Otto we had for 15 years and every once in a while we would entertain the thought and then we would decide against it.
I miss you Otto.
And then the lovely Cassie... but if we were gonna get another one... maybe now was the time.
Who the fuck do we think we are?
Oh, so many thoughts I had...
And I was terrified.
What if it goes badly... what if she bites his face off....
Well, let's have them meet....
When they met at the Humane Society ... it was like the two of them looking into a fun house mirror.... he looks like her.. she like him.... he looks like he ate her and then gained 20 pounds... he peed and she growled and then they both wagged their tails... everyone at the pound was satisfied.
I was still terrified.
It is a life changing decision.
We have to figure out how to introduce them... how to walk them....
So, he gets his balls chopped off the day they meet and we decide to take him.. sorry dude.
And we wait another couple days for him to heal..... looking at his picture on George's IPHONE every couple of minutes.
Cassie knows something is up... she gets all shakey and not eat-ie.
Oh god... let this work out.
So, the day we can go get him, we put her in the truck, because we decide the first thing we need to do is take them on a walk to get them all 'pack aquainted'.
Thanks to the people who work at the Toronto Humane Society for all of the the literature and the words of wisdom.... they were very helpful and kind.
We walk the two of them.... okay... we are dragged by the two of them around a couple blocks... we decide to go to Petsmart.....
Holy fuck.
We get Tyson...have I mentioned that he weighs 110 pounds, into the back of the truck... where WE decide he will ride... Cassie growls and jumps into the front seat.. that seems alright....
I ride in the back seat trying to block an entrance from Tyson over the back.
Well, the car starts moving and Tyson basically walks over me... over me .... to get to her.. he really wants to be her friend... she wants to remain an orphan, clearly....
I spend the whole drive to Eglinton pulling him back with all my strength and making sure he doesn't bust his sutures... and she is growling.
Maybe I should have driven.
Petsmart experience.
Cassie pulls me all over the store and has forgotten every good manner she ever possessed.
Tyson pees....EVERYWHERE... we pick him a bed and a collar the size of Afganastan.
And a bag of food that weighs the same as him.
We get them back in the car... I am all questioning every instinct I have ever had... I am freaking the fuck out.
I drive and George has a running commentary with Tyson about how he isn't getting past him... he better just rest .... don't even think about it... Oh and Tyson's drool is EVERYWHERE...
he is a nervous drooler.
WE are both covered in it....and his hair... and .... I don't know how to say this... but I will just say it... his Lipstick is huge... do you know what I mean?
His penis... is just fucking HUGE.... and all out and pink... and though they neutered him... because he is 4... he still has a big hairy ballsack.
Oh dear.
And Cassie is just staring at me like I have wrecked her whole life...
So, we get them home... it is quite a lot of figuring... and we have decided that the best plan of attack is to put him in the kitchen till his wound heals... it is where Otto spent all of his alone time... so, we know it works.. it is bigger then a kennel... which unsurprisingly we could not find in his size... the kennel that is.....not his ballsack or penis....and she will be outside of the kitchen with us as usual.
Which seems a bit unfair to me... but the literature and the Dog Whisperer on Youtube says it is just fine.



There is alot of growling and crying while we all try and figure shit out... Tyson decided to lick me.... sweet... which turns into humping... not soo sweet... and then he claws my face and rips my shirt... it is all 'The Accused' but different... and I start to cry.
Yup.
George looks like he is about to die.
Sharron, pull it, the fuck, together, I say to me
Alright... we should go for a walk.
Hmmmmm.... that went alright.....they both pull like a freight train but we are correcting them as much as we can.



The devil eyes are totally appropriate.
We take them both out alone... her for ball playing and him for ball healing to give them time alone in the house.
And then to bed....
We are so afraid that he will know down that babygate.... which really is like a piece of paper to him... he just respects the boundry... that we bring her bed in our room and close the door... and all goes well till the first cry ... at about 6:20am... which really, for a first night, is not too bad... we ignore it for aobut 30 minutes and them George tells Tyson to go back to sleep.
And after about 20 more minutes he does.
Sigh.
I am so fucking tired.
But this morning....George took Tyson out... and then our plan is to walk them both.. when I let Cassie out of the room she runs right to George and sits in front of him... right beside the Tyson... I think he is substantial enough to have a 'the' before his name.....and there is calm... no growling... no crying.. just calm.
And I get my coat on as soon as possible so this doesn't get wrecked.
Maybe... just maybe lord... this will work out?

1 comment:

Tober said...

I laughed and laughed and then had a little tear!!! I'm going to be gripped EVERY DAY to this story. God bless..... T xxx