Tuesday, March 31, 2009
When we took the sweet Cassie girl, our three month roommate from the Toronto Humane Society, back to that very same place for a blood test, the people who work there ( they are quite amazing in their love for animals) saw us and know we are suckers for a sad puppy..... we really are... is that a bad thing?
So, when Trey, he is and animal investigator on Animal Housecall with Ann Rohmer on CP24, when Trey told us he had a dog he wanted us to see, I resisted for about 2 and a half seconds...why not... what harm could it do... we left sweet Cassie with Laura up front and off we went.
Trey told us that Tyson, that was the pups name, was brought in the day before by someone who was moving to the states... now... I try not to judge, what do I know?.... but still... so we walk up to his little shelter pen and we can't see him, he has managed to shove his entire 110 pound frame under a 6 inch high pallet....yes.. he weighs 110 pounds.... and Trey calls his name over and over... he doesn't move until about the 10th call and then the biggest, widest eyes come up... he is terrified.
OH MY GOD... I want him... that is all I can think.... please let me take him now.....
But we decide to have a night to think about it....
I can't stop thinking about him... even as the sweet Cassie girl is laying with her head in my lap....I worry that she might be unhappy... and she has had a hard life... but what if she has a friend to spend her time with... what if... oh lord.
We have only ever had one dog a a time.
Otto we had for 15 years and every once in a while we would entertain the thought and then we would decide against it.
I miss you Otto.
And then the lovely Cassie... but if we were gonna get another one... maybe now was the time.
Who the fuck do we think we are?
Oh, so many thoughts I had...
And I was terrified.
What if it goes badly... what if she bites his face off....
Well, let's have them meet....
When they met at the Humane Society ... it was like the two of them looking into a fun house mirror.... he looks like her.. she like him.... he looks like he ate her and then gained 20 pounds... he peed and she growled and then they both wagged their tails... everyone at the pound was satisfied.
I was still terrified.
It is a life changing decision.
We have to figure out how to introduce them... how to walk them....
So, he gets his balls chopped off the day they meet and we decide to take him.. sorry dude.
And we wait another couple days for him to heal..... looking at his picture on George's IPHONE every couple of minutes.
Cassie knows something is up... she gets all shakey and not eat-ie.
Oh god... let this work out.
So, the day we can go get him, we put her in the truck, because we decide the first thing we need to do is take them on a walk to get them all 'pack aquainted'.
Thanks to the people who work at the Toronto Humane Society for all of the the literature and the words of wisdom.... they were very helpful and kind.
We walk the two of them.... okay... we are dragged by the two of them around a couple blocks... we decide to go to Petsmart.....
We get Tyson...have I mentioned that he weighs 110 pounds, into the back of the truck... where WE decide he will ride... Cassie growls and jumps into the front seat.. that seems alright....
I ride in the back seat trying to block an entrance from Tyson over the back.
Well, the car starts moving and Tyson basically walks over me... over me .... to get to her.. he really wants to be her friend... she wants to remain an orphan, clearly....
I spend the whole drive to Eglinton pulling him back with all my strength and making sure he doesn't bust his sutures... and she is growling.
Maybe I should have driven.
Cassie pulls me all over the store and has forgotten every good manner she ever possessed.
Tyson pees....EVERYWHERE... we pick him a bed and a collar the size of Afganastan.
And a bag of food that weighs the same as him.
We get them back in the car... I am all questioning every instinct I have ever had... I am freaking the fuck out.
I drive and George has a running commentary with Tyson about how he isn't getting past him... he better just rest .... don't even think about it... Oh and Tyson's drool is EVERYWHERE...
he is a nervous drooler.
WE are both covered in it....and his hair... and .... I don't know how to say this... but I will just say it... his Lipstick is huge... do you know what I mean?
His penis... is just fucking HUGE.... and all out and pink... and though they neutered him... because he is 4... he still has a big hairy ballsack.
And Cassie is just staring at me like I have wrecked her whole life...
So, we get them home... it is quite a lot of figuring... and we have decided that the best plan of attack is to put him in the kitchen till his wound heals... it is where Otto spent all of his alone time... so, we know it works.. it is bigger then a kennel... which unsurprisingly we could not find in his size... the kennel that is.....not his ballsack or penis....and she will be outside of the kitchen with us as usual.
Which seems a bit unfair to me... but the literature and the Dog Whisperer on Youtube says it is just fine.
There is alot of growling and crying while we all try and figure shit out... Tyson decided to lick me.... sweet... which turns into humping... not soo sweet... and then he claws my face and rips my shirt... it is all 'The Accused' but different... and I start to cry.
George looks like he is about to die.
Sharron, pull it, the fuck, together, I say to me
Alright... we should go for a walk.
Hmmmmm.... that went alright.....they both pull like a freight train but we are correcting them as much as we can.
The devil eyes are totally appropriate.
We take them both out alone... her for ball playing and him for ball healing to give them time alone in the house.
And then to bed....
We are so afraid that he will know down that babygate.... which really is like a piece of paper to him... he just respects the boundry... that we bring her bed in our room and close the door... and all goes well till the first cry ... at about 6:20am... which really, for a first night, is not too bad... we ignore it for aobut 30 minutes and them George tells Tyson to go back to sleep.
And after about 20 more minutes he does.
I am so fucking tired.
But this morning....George took Tyson out... and then our plan is to walk them both.. when I let Cassie out of the room she runs right to George and sits in front of him... right beside the Tyson... I think he is substantial enough to have a 'the' before his name.....and there is calm... no growling... no crying.. just calm.
And I get my coat on as soon as possible so this doesn't get wrecked.
Maybe... just maybe lord... this will work out?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
My blog was effing broken FOR A WHOLE MONTH!!! And I, clearly, have SOOO much to say! I hope all four of you are well....I am so happy that it was almost spring yesterday.... I put on my party outfit.... different than the Sharron's Party outfit of my Fashion Crimes togs..... fashioncrimes.ca ....but my white trash, St. Patricks Day party outfit....jeans, green sweater, shoes that were comfortable for wandering around the streets in a stupor of alcohol, my down vest with all of the pockets so I don't have to carry a purse and some advil.... preemptive !!!! Oh lord... I have never really been a St Paddy's fan but last night... have you ever seen so many green foam top hats?.... but last night I had a great time... George and I went to Buddies... where we have been alot lately.. I think they are gonna put in a cot in one of the dressing rooms for me... they were celebrating St. Patricia's Day... Patricia being the awesome Bar Manager at Buddies for many years...and it was fun!
Clinton Walker was there... looking all fab and irish.... Sky Gilbert was there in his Highschool Musical half top... which I LOVE! WE had a great time.... I had a shot of whiskey and a shot of Bailey's... I don't know who the eff I turned into in the last little while... but all of a sudden I am power drinking....not all the time.... but when I do....someone has video of me after 'Sing Out Louise" juggling two water bottles.... yes, I know.... Only two... I am not a circus performer for fucks sake....on Alexander Street... and note to them... you know you are... if it ends up on the Youtube I will kill you.
SING OUT LOUISE!
Oh what a night! I am so pleased and proud of the fabulous benefit that happened at Buddies on March 9th.... these performers were turning it out! If we had been in NY the place would have been SOLD OUT!! But we still had an excellent crowd of very loud and proud people.... here are some thoughts...
Patricia Zentilli belted an F ....almost made me fall down a set of stairs......
George Masswohl made everyone laugh and cry... he was soo good.....
Damien Atkins and Andrew Kushiner.... created a pop medley accapela... it contained something from the Opera Lakme and Single Ladies by Beyonce... just to name two of th 25 songs that were in it....
Jenni Burke said Fuck about 100 times... in a song..
And that was just a few highlights... I started to write more but I was afraid that I would be here all the live long day.....
Thanks to all who came out to the show.... and to the fabulous performers and players who gave of their time.... what a night!
Yes, it is true.... I have two Parties In March, April and May.... and then my 'Big Gay Party' in June and then I am calling it a day... actually I am calling it many years.
It is time to move my work forward.. I like to be the one who knows when to finish something and I think it is time.... I love the Party... I have worked my ass off on it... and I have written, marketed, sold it, put up all the posters... you name it I did it...and I want to do something new! I am excited for the next shows... new material... I really enjoy working with Lily Ling.. she is young and she has a really great energy... and I love that all of the songs I bring to her she looks at and says ....What is this song?... She will be playing for the show for the next four months... baring some exciting gig that might come up!!
And I will have an opener for the shows.. a young person who will do a short set from 7:30pm till 7:45pm.... and this month it is Michael Hughes... he is a VERY talented young man... and the guests are some of my old faves, some of my new faves, and young people who I have been scouting around for.....
I am doing all new material.... I am very excited... it will be an awesome 4 month series!!!!
Come on out.....
March 27th and 28th... a Friday and Saturday
on the Friday... Alicia Toner and Shoshana Sperling and Saturday ....A trio from Randolf, Kevin, Jordie and Sarite and Ryan Kelly! ... check out the listing for the next four months on my website....
In other news.... the workouts are harrowing... I know!!! But effective... I have lost 10.5 inches... yes... you read right.... I am proud as punch!
Thom Allison's show was AWESOME at Buddies... oh my lord that was some good storytelling and good work! his mind never ceases to amaze me!
I wish I could afford tickets to Britney.