To the freezing cold cold cold effing cold beach...to think...and freeze...but mostly to think...
I always feel a lot of pressure on this day to make a resolution... to look over the past year...to see what I learned...mull over what I did...the shit and the gold...if I was lucky enough to strike some gold... usually I can mine something from 364 days...and THEN to try to come up with an idea for the new year... to try it improve...to figure out how to start anew...oh my lord... THE PRESSURE, PEOPLE!
OH, and to come up with a theme...that started in 2009, really...the theme thing...examples:
2009 - The Year of “I’m Not Fucking Around”
2010 - The Year of World Domination
2011 - The Year of Awesome
2012 - The Year of GOLD
2013 - The Year of Possibility
Now, after the first four themed years...so strong in title and intention...one might think that the ‘Year of Possibility’ is not the most excellent or specific theme...but after wracking my brains for days...knowing I was not going to tour in 2013 but would spend a lot of the year laying some foundations for the years to come...it seemed perfect...and terrifying.
Yah...Possibility is scary...and fabulous...but scary...
Who knows what the fuck will happen...but I wanted to remain open.
And I tried to remain open for the whole year...challenging to say the very least.
Now, this would be the place where I would list my achievements in the “Year of Possibility”...but fuck that.
I did some awesome stuff that I truly enjoyed and I did some things that didn’t go as planned but were learning experiences...and I did some stuff that scared the effing shit out of me and I did some stuff just for the fucking fun of it.
ALL SUCCESSES in my book.
Now, What Constitutes A Success, you may ask?
Well, I decided THAT during the ‘Year of Gold’ one afternoon while I was standing onstage in Scotland, bowing at the end of one of my promotional shows in the famous Spiegeltent in George Square.
It came to me quietly...like they say in those songs...it didn’t hit me upside the head like a trumpet...as they say in other songs...but as I waved at the audience, looking up into the lights, feeling particularly triumphant...because after 3 years at the Edinburgh Fringe I felt like I had finally mastered my 10 minute promo set...which is no easy feat...it took me about 50 promo gigs to do this...this thought floated into my head...
"Sharron, if you wish it, there isn’t just ‘Success and Failure...but Success and Successes That Did Not Go As Planned But Are Something to Learn From.”
...and I wandered offstage into mucky outside area that was the backstage, lined with picnic tables at which were seated: an acrobat dressed up as a swan, a stand up comedian who smelled like he just left the pub moments before (After being thoroughly bathed in Guiness...It was noon...but who am I to judge?), a saucy Russian magician who spoke no english and a dude who wrapped his head in elastic bands...and said, “Huh.”
And I know I have heard the above statement and the following statement in a hundred different ways over a hundred times before...but true realization comes when it comes, right?
Failure is simply not to try.
So, I went with that...when the universe...or your innermost soul sends you a message like that...an amazingly wonderful message...who are we to not listen?
So...ALL that being said...2013 was filled with successes of varying degrees.
AND today...I decided something else.
Now, I am just gonna go with this for me, I am not trying to ram it down your throat...but if you feel it might help your cause...please, by all means...go ahead.
I WILL not make resolutions...or wipe the slate clean and start anew in 2014.
You know what? I think that starting anew is too much pressure and quite possibly bullshit...and most importantly, it does not bring into the mix all of the work you have done thus far to get here...all of your ‘Successes That Did Not Go As Planned But Are Something to Learn From.’
THAT work in our life is some important.
Basically, I would never have gotten to (what I believe is) my very best 10 minute promo set without the other 50 tries.
So...I continue on into 2014 ...and try to improve...and evolve...and remain open...and scare myself...and have fun...and other fancy things.
Theme for the year? There are a couple of contenders...I still like my theme....but I will not make a final decision yet.
BUT I will say this...I have a “Do These Songs” folder on my ITUNES...and I just went to look at it and this year there were 30 songs in that folder...and I did 28 of them.
Happy New Year to All! Let us roll on into 2014!