Sunday, January 12, 2014

And then, I almost punched the guy on the exercise bike beside me in the throat....

So, in regards to what I said earlier this year about seeing people at the gym...who were new, or returning or whatever...I would like to put something out there.
I was on the bike today at the gym...like I have been hundreds, maybe thousands of times...and halfway thru my 40 minute cardio (the time I had been on the bike bears mentioning for later)...at about the 20 minute mark...which is halfway for those of us, like myself, who like to live in Obviousland (instead of OBLIVIOUSLAND, where many seem to live...but, I digress ) HALFWAY through the workout, a guy got on the bike beside me. I had my earphones on watching a movie with that guy from Grimm in it...the movie was clearly shot in TO...David Keely was in it...Shawn Byfield was in it... it was about disco... BUT, I DIGRESS... again, I had my earphones on... but you know how or when someone is trying to get your attention just by being physically OBVIOUS (not oblivious...or, upon further relection, maybe he was, actually)...he was all looking at my screen...looking at me...trying to make eye contact again and again. And I like to keep in my zone and not strike up new friendships while on the "random" setting on the exercise bike...because those fucking hills sneak up on you.
And I was enjoying my disco movie...and  my workout.
When I was done I took out my earphones and wiped down my machine...and  Obvious Guy says, with a lot of voice projection, "Fun, huh?"
Oh, it bears being said here that Obvious Guy looks like Ned Flanders from the Simpsons.
I say, "Sometimes." and I smile and begin to walk away...and for another few sweet seconds he and I are in a land where we are equal and just commiserating, me mostly against my will, about a hard workout.
He laughs, "Well, don't worry...it gets easier."
I stop, turn back and look at him.
He is barely pedalling on his bike.
I look away.
I decide to contain myself.
It is a decision I now regret.
What a gross assumption to make.   
AND let my soap box, freak out begin.
To assume that it is my (OR ANYONE'S) first day at the gym is very condescending.
Very.
And, quite frankly, idiotic and rude...and that kind of remark, no matter how well intended...although I cannot figure out how it could be well intended... is designed to make someone feel less than.
It is like you have looked me over from head to toe, without my consent, and found me wanting...and out of my element.
And this pisses me off to no end. 
If you have never been overweight you may not know this feeling...but I can guarantee if you have...you have felt it, and it pissed you off.
It is along the lines of, "Good for you."
Or, "Keep at it."
All said with a smile... still making the statement no less condescending.
Yes, if you can believe it, people YOU DON'T KNOW like to lean into your workout and give you that kind of encouragement...and when I wrote on my Facebook page earlier about new years gym kindness...some people said that they like to encourage people THEY DON'T KNOW who are or seem to be new to gym with words, without being prompted...and I never said anything back then...but I will say here and now, that usually NEVER works out.  
If you need to encourage people with words, without being asked BY THIS PERSON for an opinion or that kind of support, I believe (and all of you may not...I know...but this is my blog...so) you have looked someone over and judged (however kindly it may be meant or feel) them out of their element.
Here is where I would like to say, on behalf some of the overweight people at the gym,  just let people be.
Let them fit in and be normal.
That would be the very best thing you could do in my humble opinion.
If they ask for help and you feel like giving it...by all means help out!!
BUT PLEASE DON'T OFFER YOUR OPINION WITHOUT BEING ASKED. IT IS THE KIND OF THING THAT MIGHT KEEP SOMEONE NEW FROM COMING BACK.
OR IT IS THE KIND OF THING THAT MIGHT CAUSE SOMEONE RETURNING TO WANT TO PUNCH YOU IN THE THROAT.
Too harsh?
I am just so fussed up.
I wish I had said something...and I didn't because I thought I was either A: going to say something I would regret or B: follow that thought by either punching the person in the throat  or almost break my soul by trying not to punch them in the throat.
Now, I am not a violent person...not really...but well, there you go.
Sharron's Moral of the Story: (this is not everyone's moral...some of you may feel different...but again, it my blog...so...)  Let people be. Live and let live. Help when asked if you can...and if you feel yourself wanting to say, "Keep it up." or "Good for You." or "It gets easier." to someone YOU HAVE NEVER met...hold your tongue...and think about what made you think you could say that TO SOMEONE YOU HAVE EVER MET...or why you think this person YOU HAVE NEVER MET needs your help. 
But that is just me.
So, if you see me...and feel these feelings...and you read my moral. Please be advised.
And then, if all else fails...thanks to my pal Morleen on Facebook, there is this...

 
Have a good day all!
   

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