Wednesday, March 10, 2010

You have got to be kidding me, people.

I wanted Sandra to win...I never kept it a secret...I crowed it out loud... and when she did I screamed and screamed.
I wish I was her friend...we could drink beers together...just like that beer drinking, pizza eating scene from “Miss Congeniality”.
I have not seen “Precious”...let us not forget that it is based on “Push a novel by Sapphire”...way to go Sapphire's literary agent...hard to say but way to get your shit out there!!!
So, as I said, I have not seen “Precious” but it seems that the world agrees that Gabourey Sidibe is wonderful in it...and maybe she should have won the Oscar...maybe yes, maybe no.
BUT as of this morning they were both actresses were featured in the Crazy Olympics that appeared on my and your computers and in our newspapers.
Everyday, for my fancy news, I go to the Globe and Mail...and sometimes I read Lynn Crosbie...she is sometimes mean, sometimes caustic...but I find some of her articles interesting...and her columnist photo is that of a rock and roll band groupie...which I always find intriguing.
Today, Lynn Crosbie had an article entitled “Sandra Bullock snags a sweetheart deal”...
I got worried...and then as I read it I found that I had every right to be.
Horrible and mean...and written like a person who woke up in the middle of the night after a bottle of wine and wanted to really bitch about the girl who was more popular than her in highschool.
I am not saying she was...that is just how it seems.
She refers to people like myself...the lovers of the following paragraph...

“most tabloid gossip involved her rapacious appetite for appalling junk food like Marshmallow Fluff and raw cookie dough, which made her still more endearing, especially to the lonely girls, eating jumbo boxes of Dots in the dark.”

I guess all of us girls (and some boys, I am sure) are obese, single, depressed, closet be ridiculed for our stupidity.

And Lynn must have a very long and focused hate on for Sandy to recall this...

“And then, in 1995, at the height of her fame and shortly after the (fiscally disappointing) The Net, David Spade, the evil little oracle, did a bit on Saturday Night Live about her. Sean Penn was the guest, and Spade asked him if he had seen “the talking pig movie yet.
Babe had just come out, and Penn said “No.”
“What, you haven’t see The Net?”

Who remembers that??? Who???
And then...just in case you thought she was mincing her words...there was so much more but this...this was the highlight...

“Bullock’s weakness was one bad film, an obvious nose job and status as a single woman, which makes all stars sexually suspect — even the queer, hyphenated Meredith Baxter-Birney knew this."

Can’t you just see the Mean Girl standing there...”Well, she got a fucking nose job...bitch.” And the queer comment...I leave that for you to make your own decisions on...but it ain’t good.
Bitter, petty and mean. That is how is all sounds. And, most sadly, disappointing.
So,Lynn, if that is what you were going for....congrats.
And if that wasn’t enough, then I went to the Star...and there was a bookmarked article with this title.
“Is moment in spotlight over for Precious star Sidibe?”
I hoped to not ever see this sentiment...but knew that the society we live in would not be able to resist.
Since she is big, and she didn’t win the Oscar... like that woman from Gilbert Grape and Hairspray...she was finished.
I cannot even.
And the reason these stereotypes are perpetuated?
People like Howard Stern...who, incidentally, was prominently featured in this article...are you ready?...this isn’t for the faint of heart...

“Stern made the comments on his Sirius Satellite Radio Monday, calling Sidibe “the most enormous fat black chick I’ve ever seen.”
“It’s just ludicrous because everybody is pretending she is part of show business and she’s never going to be in another movie. She really should have got the best actress award because she’s never going to have another ... what movie is she going to be in?”
“It’s so sad, you just want to say to her, ‘Listen honey, now that you’ve got a little money in the bank, go get yourself thin, you’re going to die,’” said Stern, known for his wilting, profanity-laced diatribes."

Wow. I know he is an asshole but this takes it. He is the sort who wishes all women would work out and not eat so they could stay in porn films, where they belong.

That is all that needs be said about Stern.
But, the sentiment is everywhere...fat is a one trick after you have done your “fat” role and gotten your accolades you better get on the treadmill.

Now, here is where I get mad...did anyone say that to Paul Giamatti after “Sideways”, or Phillip Seymour Hoffman after...well, anything that he has been nominated for?
Some leading men are large, bald, not especially handsome..... and celebrated.
Some of the biggest box office sellers are Seth Rogan, Jack Black and that younger, funnier guy who looks like Seth Rogan...and Will Ferrell.
John Travolta and Alec Baldwin lose and gain weight like the changing of the seasons and they get bigger parts....funnily enough.
"Where is the female version of that" Glenn Sumi said on twitter a couple of weeks ago...I ask the same thing...oh ya...we have to allow it first.
We have to open our fucking minds.
Yes, I am a big girl...I have been a smaller girl...I will be a smaller girl...and probably a bigger girl again...but that is not how I describe myself...I have NEVER let that limit what I can do...the world might do that to me...but I will never do that to myself.
Can’t we get past this...can we get past being embarrassed because we enjoy or are entertained by something that is supposedly “low brow” or “chick flicks” or “chick lit”...can we allow all people to be artists? Can we at least let them try?
And can women stop bashing each other?
AND DID ANYONE MENTION ANYTHING about men at the Oscars? How they looked, why they did or didn’t Steve Martin has had OBVIOUS (there you go Lynn) facial surgery? I don’t give a shit...but have they?
No, let us focus on the nice and the large.
Goodness gracious, jesus wept.

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