Friday, May 16, 2014
Grey's Anatomy is effing over. Cristina is gone. What more is there to live for? (Too Far?)
Grey's Anatomy is over.
For the year.
It could take forever to come back on.
And if you love Grey's, YOU know how that goes.
WHY IT TAKE SO LONG TO COME BACK ON EVERY YEAR!?!?
WHY I STILL LOVE IT SO MUCH!?!?
SPOILER ALERT!! If you have not watched or are waiting to watch the finale till you have some alone time, kleenex, a glass of diet coke, bottle of wine and a bowl of kettle corn DO NOT READ FARTHER.
So, how do we feel about the Cristina Yang ending?
I felt, meh.
I mean, I am glad that they didn't kill her in the weird, red herring, terrorist-not-terrorist explosion at the mall where she MIGHT have needed to go to get a universal plug for her IPHONE now that she is going to Zurich. (Um...really...please...we deserve better than the universal plug thing, Shonda...don't hate me, Shonda...it is just because I love this show so much that I speak my mind...now that I have your attention....lord...what if I did have her attention...Um, do you have room for a sassy red-headed doctor? I don't know many medical terms but I can learn....here is my resume shot just in case....
AND, just in case the world has gone crazy and you...you, Shonda, have actually come to my page to see what a 45-ish year old Canadian cabaret/actress/singer/producer/writer gal has to say about your wonderful WONDERFUL WONDERFUL show and don't hate her about the universal plug statement...your show which she could quite possibly could be on...here is my IMDB page link...
I mean, Just FYI. End of bracket.)
Where was I?
Oh yes...the universal plug thing?
At least they didn't make us think she was dead for too long. AND, OH!! They also let her (Yang) do the Meredith voice over....what...it was like an alternate universe. I was all fucked up for a while.
Anyhow, in the end she (Yang) took poor Shane with her to Zurich. Do you think that actor...who is he? Let me look him up on IMDB (my link above, FYI)...Gaius Charles (fancy name)...Do you think Gaius Charles aka Shane got invited into Shonda's office and was all like..."Either this is good news...or Shit!!! Shit shit shit...I am gonna lose my awesome GIG!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT! Maybe she has room for me on Scandal...SHIT SHIT SHIT!"
And, here is the rub, this is just the truth.
I am gonna say it.
The Meredith/Cristina dance off song did not match the dancing.
THERE IT IS. I said it.
I wanted a better song. More musical closure.
THAT WAS LAME.
So, here we are, people ... what is gonna happen now?
1. I hope Debbie Allen is on more.
She is from Fame.
2. What is gonna happen with Bailey and Karev and the board seat? (I really don't care about this.)
3. Meredith and McDreamy. She stay. He go to Washington. Because...best line ever..."He isn't the sun. You are." UM. AWESOME!!! (I wish I lived in their house...their fake TV house even.) WHAT WILL HAPPEN?
4. New doctor. Webber's daughter. Meredith's sister. THAT Ellis Grey was A PIECE of work, huh?? A PIECE! HOw is THIS gonna work out!?!?
5. Will Cristina just get to wear awesome dresses in Zurich with done-up hair because she is fancy now? Will we ever know!?!?
6. That Kepner is annoying. I mean, really. AND she gets more screen time then Debbie Allen, who was on Fame.
7. HOW long will I have to wait to find out. Huh. How long?
So, while you wait for Grey's to come back on...riddle me this...( you will soon find out that I am using "riddle me this, wrong...and also, you should know, that while I was watching Grey's and writing this blog I should have been working on the following...)
We are getting closer to WORLD PRIDE in Toronto.
It is gonna be CRAZY! You know it is. Grindr will crash, sun tan lotion will run out, booze will flow like stupidity runs out of Rob Ford's mouth. ( I could not help myself.)
Now, of the all the World Pride events you could attend...and there all one million...yes, Melissa Ethridge is coming...and Tegan And Sara... but what about two home town personalities collaborating FOR THE FIRST TIME... desperate for excitement and excited to draw on each other's talents.
(I am going to now talk about us in the third person...kinda as if we could afford a publicist)
They got all their promo arranged, their venues booked, their respective websites changed...with the grand hope that they could work together...because, you see, they don't really know each other at all.
(Mostly Gavin wanted Sharron's administration and touring abilities...and Sharron wanted to ride the coat tails of Gavin's Canadian TV fame)
And they were just hopeful that they could write together.
And, not most important but it would be helpful, that they would actually like each other!
WELCOME TO CANADA!
AND Welcome to Gavin Crawford and Sharron Matthews are VICIOUS BITCHES!!
Saying what they wanna say!
Finally...the CBC? The Mirvishes? No one is safe!!!
Gavin is singing songs!
Sharron is doing sketches!!
What will ensue?
Maybe stories about Elaine Stritch...starring Sharron and Elaine-friggen-Stritch! Nasty gossiping about anyone and everyone...and the audience is invited to join in! Songs from Little Shop of Horrors, Mame, Guys and Dolls and songs made famous by Janet Jackson, Whitney Houston and her aunt Thelma. Gavin with a baby bjorn! Sharron in a wig! Will he do Rufus? Will she sing a Medley?
People will just have to come to find out!
(We are also doing a photo shoot this weekend...so there will be an excellent vicious photo to follow!)
What do you say, People!?
I hope you think so!
YOU BETTER BOOK YOU EFFING TICKETS NOW!!!!
TWO NIGHTS of fabulous, PEOPLE!!
The First at SECOND CITY on June 22nd at 10:00pm!
The Second at Buddies in Bad Times on June 26th at 8:00pm
Oh, Grey's....oh, Gavin.
Oh, BROTHER!!! GET your tickets. Who knows WHAT THE EFF WILL ENSUE!!