Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dog vs Cone

I won't put a picture up here of Tyson in his cone. I think it would be bad for his self esteem. It is almost a year since the tragic viewing of 'Marley and Me'. The viewing in which George turned to me halfway through and said quietly, in the PACKED theatre, "This dog isn't going to die is it?" Oh lord. Then we got out two monster dogs. It was like seeing " A Baby Story" on TLC....which is horrifying by the way...I had it on in the background last week, totally by accident....and when they got to the birth I had to sit down as I thought I would pass out....SO, it is like seeing "A Baby Story" and then deciding it is time to have kids. But this has been a great year with them...a learning year. A year of surprises. Who knew that after three months Cassie could bark...and it is a old man bark at that. Who knew that after eight months Tyson could be totally enthralled by a beam of light from a laser or flashlight. Who knew that two dogs pass fleas faster than a whore with the clap. So, many things....too little time. it is our first Christmas with them...and sadly, the Big Dog is in a cone...the biggest cone I have ever seen....for those of you who don't have dogs and have no idea of what I speak...when dogs itch or lick themselves raw the vet puts a device resembling a megaphone on the dogs heads so they can't reach the affected bits. The dogs all look "special needs". After the fleas he got all infected and needed "THE CONE". God bless his little soul. Anyhow....somehow...with said cone....he locked himself in the bathroom. We had no idea how he did it...all we knew was when we got home the little girl was lying sweetly on her bed....gloating, no doubt...and he was no where to be found. Then George saw the that the bathroom door was closed. When he opened it...Tyson had decided after he locked himself in to hunker down...he ate the garbage and two bars of soap. Dove. Maybe the two fucking quarters of moisturizing cream will help his skin. He had bubbles in the corners of his mouth. You can't help but laugh. He also decided that the blue disco ball on the Christmas tree looked yummy. So the next day his poo was sequins and dental floss. If I had a nickle......

1 comment:

Kevin said...


Your story had me funny! My beagle Lucy would die b4 she would wear a cone! She is far too modest!
Tyson, sounds like quite the adventurous type haha...maybe he's "gay" afterall he ate the disco ball off the tree!!! Haha
Hugs Kevin