Thursday, May 23, 2013

Acrackolypse. Robpocolypse. What-The-FUCK-o-lypse. I passed out.

        I title this picture, "Working hard? Or Hardly workin'?"

What the eff is happening?
Really, people...what the fuck...
I just had to sit back, breathe and really focus on the fracas (sp? get it) that is going on right now in Toronto.
BECAUSE I just cannot believe that the place that my favourite city in the world has come to is being less than $60,000.00 dollars from the $200,000 needed to buy a video from a drug dealer in the hopes that it can prove that Rob Ford smoked crack.
After some thought we collectively realized that THIS is the very best idea we can come up with right now to get him the fuck out of office.
We are fucking desperate, people of the world. (Yes, I am flattering myself that people of the world read this blog, sue me.)
THIS is where the Mayor Of Toronto has brought us.
We are basically collecting our candy money, piggy back stash, Saturday night booze fund, saving-up-for-a-boob-job-mattress-cash and paper route savings to give to someone who sells get a mayor out of office.
We are at a loss...and it saddens me...and freaks me out.
And it makes me mad because it has made me care about politics.
YES! I know!!!
What the fuck?
I mean, nothing else  has worked so far ... this BOOB, Ford has continually mocked the office of mayor of the city of Toronto...not caring if he flies by an open street car door (potentially murderous) ...and EVEN having the gaul to call the TTC to complain about the streetcar driver who had reprimanded him...he was seen driving while talking on his cell and then giving the finger to one of his constituents for calling him out on it...there he was again, pictured driving his big gas guzzler while reading... raising money on Mayorial letterhead for his Football team...the same football team that he fetched an IN USE TTC CITY bus for one day, forcing a load of passengers off the bus in the middle of a pick up his fucking football team...I could go on and just BOGGLES my mind.
AND, SIDEBAR, why is it when we, regular little old people, do something wrong we break the law...but when someone in politics does something wrong (Hello Senate!! Ray Brazeau, Pamela Wallin, Mike Duffy) they break the RULES?
(I  wish you could have seen my husband explaining the Senate to me...remember, please, I am not an idiot...I just hate politics...and me just sitting there after with my mouth open...then finally screaming out, "WHAT!?!? WHY, for the love of god...WHY!?!?!?")
Fucking politics.
THIS shit is why I hate it so....
At this point, and I know this won't be a surprise to some...but I am not nor have I ever been a fan of that boob,  Rob Ford.
I left Toronto when he got elected.
Okay, I had already moved when he was elected...but what is honesty?

"Lying about easily disproven things would become a Ford trademark."
- New York Magazine

When he got into the mayor's office you could have knocked me over with a feather...I thought, "How could someone so obviously ignorant and disdainful of people unlike himself...non-white...

"Those Oriental people work like dogs ... they sleep beside their machines,'' he said. "The Oriental people, they're slowly taking over ... they're hard, hard workers."-
Rob Ford, 2008, City Council Meeting.

 “If you are not doing needles and you are not gay, you wouldn’t get AIDS probably, that’s bottom line." When it was pointed out to him that a growing number of women were being infected with AIDS, Ford replied, "Maybe they are sleeping with bi-sexual men."
- Rob Ford, 2006, City Council riding people...

"If a bicyclist get killed, at the end of the day, it is their own fault."
- Rob Ford, City Council, 2007

...the homeless...

Ford suggested that instead of having a "public meeting" about locating a homeless shelter in his district, "Why don't we have a public lynching?"
- Rob Ford, 2002, City Council

....How could a person like this get into the Mayor's office of the City of Toronto. How!?!?"

The red part is downtown Toronto.
The blue parts are the suburban 905ers.
Two absolutely different types of places to live in with one hundred thousand (I may exaggerate but who REALLY cares at this point) challenges when it comes to what the constituents need and what the places require from a mayor/city government.
Remember when our 22nd Premier of Ontario, the awesome Conservative Mike Harris (Jesus wept), came up with the most excellent idea to amalgamate six municipalities with TOTALLY different needs into a Megacity.
What a smartie pants.
This was the beginning of our doom as this non-political gal sees it.
Like when Michael Jackson truly went mad after he got hit in the head with a laser beam while filming that Pepsi commercial.
(Recycled joke...unsure if it really makes the point...but it makes sense to are welcome)
We all saw the writing on the wall of what this Cirque D' Kooka  was going to be like when that awesome renaissance man, Don Cherry, called Torontonians who ride bikes, "Left wing commie pinkos" at the event where Rob Ford was sworn in.
(What is it with these men and bicycles? Did the never learn to ride one? Did they not get one as a child at Christmas? What in the fuck HAPPPENED here?!?!?)
And, after one premature ejaculation of an attempt to get him out of office...remember the court room drama/conflict of interest case in which he admitted...actually, his defence was he was too ignorant to know what was going on....

Ford testified he never read the MCIA or a City of Toronto councillor orientation handbook which included a section on conflicts of interest. Also, he did not attend City Council training sessions that covered conflicts of interest.The mayoralty oath of office includes a pledge to "disclose conflicts of interest", and when asked by Ruby if he understood the words, Ford said: "No."
- Wiki-fucking-pedia,

...when we thought it was over...the media reported it was over...yet, weeks later the boob still was at City Hall...grinning like a sweaty, mean girl who just called you fat....and got away with it.
He is such a bad example...he is everything we were told WOULD not happen to the mean, bully kid later in life.
We were told by our parents to BE patient....these mean kids would get their comeuppance.
Well, most of downtown Toronto is saying, "Where is the Gravy Train's karma!?!When is the 'come around' part, huh???"
We have been patient...done everything right...written our government, signed petitions, gone to City Hall to say our piece, written blogs, complained to ombudsmen...and STILL  here we are.
When I look at it in this light, maybe the Crackstarter campaign doesn't seem so Kooka...I mean, when even staunch Ford Supporter, mean and nasty column writer and all round horrible person Christie Blatchford admits that Ford needs to step gotta know that we, Toronto, are at the end of our rope and staring down Queen West with bloodshot eyes watching for the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.
You know what I am getting crap joke at a time.
What the fuck is going on...and please wake me when this shit is over.
Jesus Wept.
Lord and Taylor.
AND I passed out.

P.S. And JUST as I am about to go to sleep on May 23rd, the night I wrote this...and I see this... 

And this....

Oh...and, the topper... this is tomorrow's, May 24th, Toronto Sun Headline...THEN I truly passed out. Enough already...

UPDATE: AS of 8:43am on May 24th the Crackstarter Campaign was less that $40,000 away from the $200, 000 goal, a dude donated $10,000 if he could get the IPHONE it was all taped on and no one can find the Drug Dealers. How could these drug dealers just up and disappear....uh...oh wait THEY ARE DRUG DEALERS.
AND, now everyone thinks that the Ford camp bought the video...

1 comment:

Michelle Giardine said...

There WILL be an Act 3 for Rob. We just have to wait for it.I share your frustration. Wealth buys itself time.