I am back...all in one piece from my "Smash and Grab Tour 2009" into the heart of the Maritimes!
My accompanist for the tour, my navigator for the drive....my person who made me laugh more than a couple of times...and who shocked me with some revelations from the internet...Wayne Gwillim ladies and gents
Both Georgetown and Pictou were amazing. The audiences dug the show...and we were treated so well...the food, the rooms....I left both theatres with a gift...in Georgetown it was a beautiful sea glass necklace from a local artist and in Pictou it was a print of a woman who was born in Pictou in the early 1900's who went to Broadway and became one of their biggest stars.
How lovely and I thank you!!
Here are some of the moments that made it a one of a kind "Sharron" experience.....
1. Wayne was surprised about being the navigator as well as the pianist...but rose to the occasion without telling me to eff off...after driving away from the PEI airport for 15 minutes informed me that we were going in the absolutely WRONG direction.
2. We walked into the Georgetown Inn...GORGEOUS...and they showed us the first room...beautiful...I took that one...and then when we saw the second one and it was even more gorgeous...we both went silent and Wayne looked at me and said "Do you want this one?" and I know I should have said "No"....but I said "YES!!!"...he also took that very well.
3. The morning after the fabu show in Georgetown at the Kings Playhouse...which was attended by the beautiful Julain Molnar, the lovely Glenda Landry and one of my Sheridan students parents plus a bunch of her students...nice...the morning after that show, we sat down for breakfast at the Inn...which was served family style around a big table...which was already filled with people...Wayne and I sat beside an older couple...she looked pinched and he looked long sufffering....she looked up from her paper as I put my ass in the seat and and said "Oh here are the entertainers" and not in the kind of adoring voice that I enjoy but judg-ie....and I wished I could get back up right then. She was all "it must be hard to be a performer and have to take whatever you can get" and "your voice is very big...you must lose it all the time" and she finally conceded " you were funny"....and then she could not get enough of Wayne THANK GOD and wanted to talk to him about his classical piano training. She clearly was the kind of person who equated what I did to Hooking...and not rug hooking...
The rest of the people at the table looked so happy she was talking to us...and her husband asked me a couple of kind questions...and every time he finished a question he got a facial tick...it must be hard to be married to that lady...before I knew it Wayne and I are justifying our careers and listing out resumes....but when the chef brought Wayne and I our special Eggs Benny with LOBSTER....she asked why it wasn't on the menu...the chef said he made it special for us...and I turned and smiled at her...and barely kept myself from saying ..."I am just a lowly entertainer...I take whatever I can get...and today it is the lobster that was meant for your dinner, LADY!"
4. Beautiful drive to Wood Islands...the ferry dock...navigator was from heaven and told me some fine stories to keep me amused...when we got to the dock I went in search of tea...we went into the cafeteria and stepped back into the 70's, I swear to god...and I went to ask the attendant a question...she turned her head from the black and white old timey TV and gave Wayne and I a look that would have peeled paint...we didn't even stop... we continued to walk on by....she clearly didn't want to be disturbed...we both knew it...and when she got up she had the biggest preggers belly I have ever seen...she forced a smile in her face that was so chilling ... by then I was so afraid I just asked where the bathroom was.
5. When we drove into Pictou, I told Wayne that we were staying at a place that seemed to be....seemed to be...a motor hotel from the picture I had seen on the interweb...and as we drove into the city...after missing it the first time on the 'rotary' and having to drive all the way to Truro it seemed before we found a turn around...there was a big, horrible yellow sign stating
M O T E L.... and I started chanting...'let that not be it, let that not be it'...guess what? That was it.
But it turned out to be just great.
6. I asked the guy on voice box at the Tim Hortons on the highway for honey in my tea....the box went silent as if he had turned on mute and said some thing horrible about me.
7. Wayne was obsessed with us not wasting any of the food that we had bought or been given. He sat in the Halifax airport and MADE himself eat the rest of Chicken we had bought in Pictou...it was a sight to behold.
8.Just to cap the whole tour off.....a beautiful experience peppered with little things that make you go...hmm....in the security line at the airport, a blond woman...all cougared out with a crochet vest on...what?...was about 10 people behind us and telling everyone that she was late for her flight and would they let her in...she was all giggly and trying to play on her fading beauty...yes, I had NO mercy...by the time I was in the front I heard her...I had not looked at her on PURPOSE...I heard her ask me to let her in...I so wanted to say NO! But I said "Yes" in a voice that made it clear that the real answer was "EFF OFF!"...she went through... and as she went by me...the smell of liquor was so huge it almost knocked me out....and I turned to Wayne and said "Holy Booze Batman" in a loud voice....and Wayne said in the same tone..." I hope they have a booze detector there"....the line up laughed and then the rest of the security experience was watching her take off everything that wasn't tied down...all fall over-ie ....and drunk....it was quite a sight to behold.
And that was our trip out east...minus descriptions of the fabu shows....the Maritimes were the best....the people, the shows, the towns, the theatres...THANK YOU!!!!
And weird people and experiences...I thank you as well!!!!!