Thursday, November 11, 2010

Lake SHORE?!?!? What the eff????

Oh. my. god.

So, I, like any other pop culture/ reality show lover (judge me if you will, I don’t give a poop) was very interested in the phenom that was “Jersey Shore”...anyone that would nickname themselves “The Situation” must be good for at least a couple watches....okay maybe one. Of course, I found myself a bit intrigued by the small, drunk, orange, boofie haired, potty mouthed Snookie. But it wore out...not for my friend Wayne...but there you go.
I am up early this morn and turn on Aretha (my computer) and there is an article in the paper about a show called “Lake Shore” heart begins to be is about young people, 20 somethings, in Etobicoke...I think...they didn’t really specify WHERE the lakeshore is...maybe it is Clarkson ( I am gonna stop myself from rhyming off all the stops on the GO train).
It seems to be important that they are all of different ethnicities...I got this list from The Star... I have added some of own thoughts in italics....

Sibel Atlug (“The Turk”)
Age: 23 Modus operandi: Bossy and controversial Quote: “People love to hate me.” (Can’t wait.)

Karolina Czaja (“The Pole”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Self-proclaimed heartbreaker Quote: “My strength is loyalty.” (The first time I read this I thought she had nicknamed herself “The Pope”...I find that the fact that she is loyal and a self proclaimed heartbreaker a bit at odds with each other...non? Girls are so fickle.)

Joey Violin (“The Italian”)
Age: 21 Modus operandi: Happy-go-lucky, shies away from conflict Quote: “Number 1 wop, baby. That’s what it’s all about.” ( oh my...his name smells of mobster....doesn’t you think they made it up? I didn’t know there was a number one....what he said...good to know....)

Anni Mei Nguyen (“The Vietnamese”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Sales rep by day and go-go dancer by night Quote: “I’m very animated. I’m very cartoony.” (This is so many is brain is is almost like wanting to be either a brain surgeon or a cheerleader when you grow up....but not. And I love that she seems to think“Cartoony” is a giggly compliment to herself)

Tommy “Hollywood” Lis (“The Czech”)
Modus operandi: Serial dater Quote: “Everyday is a Saturday night.” (Who fucking gives themselves a middle name...someone I know went to school with a girl who walked up to them one day and said that she wanted everyone to call her “Crackers”...even got it on a Tshirt...was Rex Smith on the front of that Tshirt...was that girl me? NO!)

Salem Moussallam (“The Lebanese”) Age: 24 Modus operandi: Fashionista Quote: “On my free time, I like to go shopping.” (Bored)

Robyn Perza (“The Jew”) Age: 20 Modus operandi: Loud and blunt Quote: “I’m my own boss.” (Again, bored....loud and blunt are my two favourite things..oh wait....)

Arber Daci (“The Albanian”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Always at the clubs Quote: “I’m always downtown: Friday, Saturday, Thursday maybe, Sunday possibly.” (Oh ya, I met this guy on my vacation in Cuba...he vomitted on the beach and then tried to kiss me and feel my boob....I was 22 at the time, of course...don’t we all know this guy?)

So that is the line up....and this is the kind of TV we can expect.... this “The Turk” person was quoted in The Star as saying....

“I’m not racist because I hate everybody equally. Especially Jewish people,”

Can you still say that?

Could you EVER SAY THAT?
And it is going to be on TV.
I remember watching my first episode of American Gladiator many years ago and thinking “Oh lord, the end of the world is coming.....”
And here we are...

Now, you all know I love my TV...and I love Survivor ... Hoarders ... Say Yes to The Dress....any number of reality, this is a bit hypocritical, I know...but I do think the low budget, crappier copy of Jersey Shore is a BAD BAD IDEA.

Remember when you could turn on a TV show and know right away if it was Canadian or not?
Well, looking at this picture for the show takes us back about one million years...
move over HOBO!

Here are my thoughts....

A: Why are they in their bikinis in a pool? This is freakin’ is cold more than half of the year....not super cold...but not open toed shoe weather for cripes sake. (I think I am gonna work ‘for cripes sake’ back into my life...I love it.)

B: Do you see the girl with her legs around the guys neck...have some self respect, lady.

C: Couldn’t they have found a better font for the titles? There is the freakin’ interweb now....fabulous FONTS FOR EVERYONE!!!! It is like a font from my grade 6 science project about frogs...I had to do a project about frogs because I passed out everytime we dissected them and missed the dissection part. Harsh....but not as HARSH AS THIS FONT!

D: Not that I watched too many or two...but it looks like they are trying to re create the ENTIRE Jersey Shore cast...That girl in the upper right corner looks like ‘J Wow’...yes, that is her name...and the girl in the middle with the blue bathing suit looks like shades of Snookie...all the guys look like ‘The Situation’ is like when they would recast big musicals here in Canada partially based on if you fit the predecessors’ costume and shoes.

E: Who took this mother? On our old Kodak with the flash that turned when you used it...was that only twenty years ago? Technology is scary....but NOT AS SCARY AS THIS PICTURE.

So, it will be sexist ...racist ...slutty ...stereotypical ...moronic ...and setting an example for our young people.


J Wow.

There is an trailer....I hesitate to put the link up...I am walking away and watering my plants and thinking about it.....

Alright...I am gonna put it up...with RESERVATION!!! You will crap.

Oh lord.
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

Can you fucking believe is American Gladiator all over again.

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