Thursday, April 14, 2011

Moose Jaw, The Plane and The Beaver....

So, I went to Moose Jaw.

I didn’t know WHAT to expect...first of all, I couldn’t believe that they would bring my show ALL THE WAY THERE for one night.

I was nervous and wondered if this was all a ploy to get me to Saskatchawan and kidnap me...I don’t know why...theses things just occur to me.

Two things, this is the tallest building in Moose Jaw.

Main Street Moose Jaw.

Second thing, I bought this purse at the Pharmasave on Main Street.

Cooch and my new bag...that I bought at the Moose Jaw Pharmasave

What an amazing time I had...what a gorgeous theatre, what lovely people...I sent an email to Steve Patterson (Patterson is a Moose Jaw native) and he rallied his folks, Kathy and Bob, who rallied a bunch of other folks, Marianne Woods and Kelly Handerek made their ways up from Regina...laughs were had, dresses were spun in (you know!), notes were belted and CD’s were sold.

Oh look at me and Cooch...

Thank you Graham (who worked at the Royal Alex when I was but a pup in Les Mis), the General Manager of the Moose Jaw Cultural Centre for bringing me out there!

Though it was a great time and all that is not why I write now.

Chris Tsujiuchi ( my accompanist) and I flew on the lovely but frugal Air Canada (not even a fucking meal anymore? REALLY?). Chris hasn’t flown a ton and the flight out was so lovely. We were chattin and I was all bragging (I wasn’t quite aware of it at the time, really) about how much I have flown...Oh, so many times. I am an old hat...hundreds, darling....hundreds.

So, on the way back, I manage to score a row by myself (the plane is smaller, two rows on each side) and I pull out my book and settle in. About an hour and a half into the flight I decide to watch “Black Swan” but the plane begins to bump around a smidge (a smidge) and it makes me feel a bit be honest, from the 20 minutes I saw that Natalie Portman is working WAY TOO HARD...but that is just I turn it off.

The seat belt light goes on and the bumping gets...well...bumpier.

Lord have mercy.

The captain is all, “Ladies and Gentlemen we have a weather front from here to Toronto, so we apologize for the turbulance...buckle up bitches”....wait...there is still and hour of flight left....AND THE PLANE JUMPS TO THE LEFT AND THE RIGHT....LIKE THE FUCKING HOKEY the FUCKING SKY!!!!

Why, my friends, WHY when the screaming starts...why doesn’t the magnitude of the “turbulance” get addressed? Hmm? Huh? WHY!?!?!? FOR AN HOUR! We are bumping around so much I know that it is now TOO LATE to have a gravol...I put in my earphones and find a classical station and grip the seat like it is the last place I will ever sit. Which, after a half an hour , I believe it will be.

I can’t even get up to find Cooch (which is what I call Chris)...I know he is behind me, scared out of his shit...listening to India Arie...because he assumes he is also going to die and since India is his fave...he should go down listening to her.

Then I begin to search for an air sickness bag....just in case...cause let me tell you what people...I could feel my Tim Horton’s BLT wanting to make a entrance.

The whole time...even though there is, as I mentioned earlier, one in that front cabin says a word. Which just makes me believe that the end is near. There is no sign of a flight attendant, either.

You feel so fucking helpless and small...yes, I just got philosphical...whatever...I was going to die.

I managed to talk myself out of hurling....barely...because there was a throw up convention going on around me...and I am a joiner...I had my music up to 11.

When I see Toronto through the window I feel such a great amount of relief...I almost pee.

We land...I am still filled with my BLT...but when I grab my bag and walk off I give the pilot the hairiest eyeball I can manage....past the stink of throw, I am gagging right now.

So, lucky to be alive....telling Cooch the whole way out of the terminal that flying to Europe will be better. (!)

What a trip.

And after all that...I realized that it is never too soon to sing live....nice transition, bitches, huh?

Maggie Cassella has opened up a new venue, The Flying Beaver Pubaret, and her Good Friday entertainment canceled! WHAT?!?!? She asked me...and I thought...Easter Weekend...a holiday....WHY NOT!!!

So, as you may have heard, I am putting the GOOD back in GOOD FRIDAY, people.

It is a lovely, intimate room and I am singing for ONE NIGHT ONLY!

I think that tickets are selling really well, so here in the info, book is a week AWAY!

Friday April 22nd, $15 advance and $20 at the door.

The Flying Beaver Pubaret

488 Parliament Street (North of Carlton)

Showtime: 8pm

Dinner available before, during, and after the show

Dinner reservations recommended.

647.347.6567 for info.

Pubaret opens at 4pm.

I am singing a bunch of new stuff...things I have had on list TO DO list for a while!

It has been too long...I miss all of your guys!

I got some stories to tell....TV show, traveling, UK debut, back to the Fringe, I have moved to the country....SO MUCH!!!!

Here is the link to online tickets and the FB event!

Online tickets at

FB Page Event!

Come on DOWN!!!!!

Jesus called....he will be there!

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