I saw ghosts and friezes....and my dear friend Tober!

Now...I read a book a couple years ago....cannot remember it's title.....actually it was a paperback of some kind that was..... fine....probably all crime and punishment.....but it went in depth about the National Portrait Gallery in Edinburgh.....when my mother-in-law mentioned it when we got here I got all excited and fussed up....we got everyone in a cab....5 of us including Deborah ..... our gracious hostess.....and went....
OH!!!!
First we went to see the Royal Yacht Britannia...it is moored in Edinburgh...kinda attached to a mall really....but I think...."The Queen is all posh!!! I wanna see where that chick lived!"....I say things like 'posh' and 'rubbish' now....just like Madonna...
OH!!!!
Now ...SIDEBAR!!!
I have decided to put three Scottish phrases into my daily vernacular .....
#1. Wee.....they all say it....they all love it!!! Why not me!!!
#2. EMMM....that is what they say here instead of um.
#3. Daft...... LOVE IT!!! So much classier....that stupid or retarded!
Now...where the eff.....oh ya...
THE BRITANNIA!!!
So, we got Ma into a wheelchair and took her around...now, here are a few words about the yacht...
First.....why so plain...I swear to god there was a chair that I had in my backyard growing up that was on the Lido deck.....
Second....The Queen and Prince Phillip have the tiniest single beds I have EVER seen!
You're the QUEEN!!!
Give Sleep Country a call!!
Third....The honeymoon suite bed was small and all I could think of was Charles taking Diana's virginity and scarring her for life!!!
So, that being said.....still pretty cool...oh to be so rich!!
So, after that we get into another cab and go to the Portrait Gallery.
Loved it!!
We couldn't take pics inside of the portraits but you could take pics of the friezes that were in the rotunda ....that was two big words at once!!!.....and they were lovely...the one at the top.....this one....


Look at the Scottish dudes!!!
Then the family went back to Bonnyrigg and George and I stayed in town because I wanted to go on a......
GHOST WALK.....
wooooooo.....
I picked the 'City of the Dead' tour....it was the only one that got access to the Greyfriars Churchyard at night!
Why would we do this on purpose, you ask?
I like a little scare!
And since it was so good George and I fortified ourselves with whiskey...to keep warm and all!
We were the oldest people on the tour by, like, 15 years.
All backpackers.....the guide started off chatting about torture....that is when my tummy started to go all iffy....
Torture is a gross business.
Then the 10 of us marched into the graveyard.....why would ANYONE
go into a a graveyard at night?
As we marched around I was looking for an actor who would scare the shit outta us.
When we got into the Masoleum .....yes...we went into a fricken masoleum...and they separated all of the men and women...so I ended up holding the hand of a girl from Wales named Roslyn....I was a bit scared shitless.
Then an actor jumped out and I screamed like a girl!
Oh wait.
I am a girl.
SOO!
The next day George and I rented a car with a couple destinations in mind.
I have a list left of all the places I wanted to visit......and we had one day.....and then we were to go to the home of our dear friend Tober.
So, ( play crazy banjo music here!) we rented a car.
We drove to Stirling.
And in two hours we....
Went to Bannockburn to see the field and the Robert the Bruce Statue!!!


Stirling Castle.




And then George and I climbed a big fricken hill!!
Straight up!!!
To see the William Wallace Monument!!!
Really George wanted to see the sword and I just want to see....
everything......


See that part to the right....the round part....circular staircase....
ALL THE WAY UP!!!!
We go to the second floor, see the sword...
And get the eff out!!

Oh.....so tired!!!
We did so much more....
But Graham Norton is on BBC 1....and I am afraid he is gonna say something dirty!!!
What will Auntie Pat say?

Arran....Edinburgh...Roslynn.....and the Pleurusy

Oh....it was like the Lord of the Rings.....it was like.....us on another ferry....to magical island of Arran......which .....Scottish people do not hate me please....in Ireland....it is called 'Scotland in minature' and that it is....but we were two hours early for the ferry....after being so late to the other one we tried to show off how early we could get somewhere....but I have to say my friends...when we got to the ferry dock...I got a bit worried...I was used to being at a bit huge ferry with tons of cars and people....there was no one....and the road just drove into the effing sea....I was thinking about how we had to back onto the last ferry....check this shit out...

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Scary.....and the rain....it was right Scottish...I decided to stay outside...due to my motion sickness....ness.....but it was like driving into a fairy land....we got across and they....my dear family .....took me to see a castle post haste.....it is an obsession....this is Lochranza Castle.....it was raining like hell....


Cloanaig is where we took the ferry from.........Lochranza is where we ended up....and it is on the whiskey coast....which makes me think of distilleries and pirates.....and this sheep.....

Now....this sheep was in field with about 100 other sheep.....but this one had decided to stand under a tree ..... to be protected from the rain......smart sheep....it looks like he is saying something.....like maybe..."Sharron, what is it with you and the castles.....and thank you for no' liking lamb!!!!"
We met old friends and neighbours of Auntie Pat from Airdrie.....Eunice, Bill,and their sons Alastair, Gordon and Gordon's wife Lynn....lovely people!! And Thanks to them it was easier for George to drive around this bendy island.....we just followed them.
Arran is gorgeous.
It is one of the most magical places I have ever seen.
We came in rain and bluster and left later that day in sun and loveliness on another ferry from Brodick....here was the sunset....

I mean ....really.
It was just lovely.
Then we made our way back to Glasgow.....for two days.
Now, George has been sick now for almost 10 days.....I wished him to go to the doctor but there was no place or time....he managed so well doing all the driving....this was the day....the day we came back to Glasgow that I started to feel ill.....
But we powered forward!!!
We went to the Glasgow Cathedral....... founded by St. Mungo....doesn't that rock.....there are so many statues around Scotland.....they are everywhere....you almost stop looking but this one was right outside Glasgow Cathedral......

Hhheeeeee hhahhaaa.....gotta love the university students.....but the Cathedral was so lovely.....we did a double decker tour to find the places we wanted to go and the Cathedral was on the top of the list......
Here are three things you need to know about me.....maybe not need....but it might help for the future of our blogging affair....
1. Love a castle
2. Love an old church
3. Love a cemetary
There you have it....weird, weird, weird.......
Here is the Cathedral......



PS....George takes all the awesome pics....I just take the average ones.......
Then after a couple fab days in Glasgow.....we got into a big ole cab and drove to Bonnyrigg.....right outside of Edinburgh.....to visit and stay with George's cousin Deb....she has been gracious enough to host us for a week!!
A WEEK!!!!!
But, since our ill fated ferry incident...we have been early everywhere....so we beat Deb there....and waited with out luggage.....



Here is ma..... with the luggage!!! God bless.....
Deb has been serving us and washing for us....she gave up here bed for us.....THANKS TO YOU!!!!
She took us to Roslynn Chapel today....you can say whatever you want.....I read the effing Da Vinci Code.... I know what it is due to that ..... I have read alot about it since then.....but I start with Dan Brown's book.... not the crappy movie with that Tom Hanks....that dude can do anything!!!! Oh to be a dude....
As we drove in I was all excited.... and filled with antibiotics....we went to the doctor today.....George and I have matching pill bottles....we have plerusy....... but I could not wait to see it!!
Like everything else I have seen here....GORGEous.......and tiny....it is overwhelming with its explosive carvings...that is the only way to describe them....the carvings reach out and look like teeth...the chapel was built in the 1400's and it took 50 years..... never had I seen anything like it....you cannot take pics inside ....



It was so overstimulating inside.....I didn't know where to look....but was I standing over the holy grail.....ark of the covenant....the embalmed head of jesus....no lie... that is a rumor......who knows....but I was there!!!
Oh.... and we went to the Edinburgh castle........but I gotta go for mince and tatties.....
Here is a shot of the biggest castle I have ever seen.....Mary, Queen of Scotts.......ALRIGHT!!!
I am coming!!!!!

Sharron in Tarbert and with Sheep...oh and Robert the Bruce!

After Kilmartin, I felt a bit sleepy but since I was in the front seat of the car I felt that it was my responsiblity to stay awake with George....so I fell asleep...of course......Ma woke me saying, “Sharron, look!” I turned and there in the middle of green, GREEN, ( I use two greens because... it was really green) field and a bunch of white and black sheep was a circle of about 12 standing stones....my mouth just dropped open and I stared....I mean, they were in the middle of someones’ cow field....no one but me really giving them a second look.
I got very excited.
What is it with people and the stones and witchery and heeland magic?
We sooo want it to be true.
Don’t we?
So, here we are in Tarbert at a pink hotel......when two ‘bear’ type males walked into the dining room during dinner and winked at me...I knew it was a gay friendly hotel....PINK...ah! It is very nice and homey and overlooks the bay....
Whenever we get somewhere I always think that I can’t like a place better than the last but I am always proven wrong.
I love this little town.



It also contains Tarbert Castle, home of....ready for it?....Robert the Bruce....you all can pretend you know that from a history lesson or a fancy book....but I know it is because most of you watched Braveheart...with that anti-semetic Mel Gibson....I still love that movie though he is an ass....Mel not Bruce....remember Robert the Bruce was portrayed by that dishy Angus Macfayden....I don’t know why his career never took off...he did the Braveheart movie and then then next thing I saw him in was the ‘Ya Ya Sisterhood’ movie with Sandra Bullock...who I love...judge me as you will.....I wonder if Angus thinks that Gerrard Bulter got his career........maybe there was only room for one scottish dude....Gerrard is scottish, right?....or is he Irish?
Did you know that the Scottish descended from the Irish in about 300AD???
REALLY!!!
WHAT THE EFF WAS I TALKING ABOUT???!!!
Oh ya...Tarbert Castle...very cool...it stands over the town like a sentinel....a bit of a ruin but it has a proud flag of Scotland flying over it...and I COULD not wait to get up there to it!
Castles and Standing Stones....
LOVE THEM!
Now, I haven’t mentioned that my hubby George has been sick since we arrived...he got the plerusy from the hacking dude who sat beside me on the plane.....we sat down and the dude started to cough and I turned to George with a pursed mouth.
But I haven’t got sick yet.....just poor Georgie....he seemed to be getting better but this morn he woke in our pink hotel with a look of sick.
I was so sad for him....I want him to feel better....I also want to climb around the hills....George was hacking and saying “No...I am fine...really...hack ...hack...cough... cough!”
Right.
I thought that since we don’t have to drive anywhere today it was the perfect day to have him lay in and sleep .... so I collected my morning duties from he and the ladies at breakfast....the sausage was square and flat....yum.....I was to go to the chemist...the chemist....and get cold stuff for Georgie and kleenex for Auntie Pat.... she’s not sick...just always prepared!....and the Cut n’ Crew to see if I could get Auntie Pat an appointment for a wash and style...many jobs....but I happily did them all!
And while I walked through the town with my paper sack of stuff I stared at the castle up on the hill....the city is surrounded by hills....mountains....the Scottish call them bens.....I wanted to see that damned castle....I asked George if he minded if I went....as he lay in bed looking like death....handsome...but still death warmed.....he said I should go....so I put on my new hiking shoes...that I am convinced I got too big.... my fleecy and my hat, shoved my ipod and my camera in my pockets....oh and I always take my passport just in case I need to be indentified.....somber but practical....that is me....and I walked to the info centre to find out....info.
The lady with the spiky hair.....burgandy....she was very nice....not like the chemist.....anyhow....I asked her how to get to the castle and she directed me to the staircase just past the dental surgeon’s office. And I use the word stairs loosely. The were rocks arranged together that ascend....but it has that old-timey feel....it should have been my first clue as to the journey that would follow.
I made it up to the ruins of the castle....


....whether it is a ruin or not....it is always impressive.....the historians think that it was built by Alexander I or II during the 300’s.....the effing 300’s...and then The Bruce put on extentions...he renovated...I just laughed outloud... I am pathetic....but I wandered around the castle, which is really just the tower that is left over of the castle keep, to take a pic from every angle as I wanted to really show George my journey....my adventures he calls them.... I just think it....I found myself down the hill in the braken...which I discovered today are really just like thick brown ferns....I always pictured braken as a thorny plant.....and as I put up my camera to take this picture.
....I heard a rumble behind me...I turned very quickly.....to see a freakin’ dear run by.....it stopped and looked at me...and I tried very slowly to raise my camera but it mistook my camera for a gun or some such thing and took off.
So.... I decided that I wanted to hike the bens...I was on my own and I was gonna do it anyway... the spiky haired lady told me at the shop the only thing that I had to fear in the woods was the sheep.....alrightie!
So, I looked at the flyer she gave me and I planned a short 45 minute walk.....but the adventurer in me....said “Come oh Sharron!!! Go for the 2 hours......”. I wish that was true... I really just didn’t read the flyer well enough and took a wrong turn....now let me mention right here.... I didn’t see another living soul on the whole hike.... and I hike it was... right till the bitter end... and I was out for about 2 1/2 hours....REALLY!!!
First of all.....it was all uphill at the beginning...


.....I know... no surprise.. but what we term as a hike uphill in Hamilton Ontario and what the Scottish folk term as a hike uphill....two very different things... let me tell you, now.
But I was brave....I was a warrior.
I had to keep pretending to look at crap from my pocket so that I could stop and take a breath the first 15 minutes....maybe, Sharron, a look at the map may have been a help....but I kept taking pictures of the view...that would only really appeal to me, I think.
The path in the beginning was all grass and.....bogs.... in my new too big shoes... though comfy....
But I was jumping over puddles and feeling all forest-ie.
Very soon I felt a little closed in...



...... the big view stopped and I was into the thick of the forest....I looked at the clock on my ipod after about 25 minutes...hm....I am pretty good with directions....north, west and all that .....that makes me all cocky with maps....I would have known if the path had turned itself back in the direction of the castle and town....so...I pull out the map.....hmm.....I see a marker and it has a white top....I see that means I am on the two hour walk path.....probably.... it go a bit sketchy.....hmmm....TWO Hours... into the highlands... alone......sounds very brave... and warrior like....
I will do it....of course, according to the ampe I might be on a 5 hour walk....but I will figure that out after the first hour....right?
So, as I continue further and further into the mountains all the inner scary movie voice start having a dialogue....
‘SSSHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....maybe you are going the wrong way.... and you haven’t seen anyone since you began......’ Well....so what....it is October.....not too many people on vacation.
‘SHHHAARRROONNN....what if someone is following you on this path..’
Shut it!!!
‘SSSSHHHHAAARRROOONNNN.....what if you fall and break one of your weak ankles?...’


Why did you have to bring that up??? Not only are you the scary voice but you are bad for my self confidence.
‘SSSHHHHAAARRROOOONNNN....be afraid...’
Alright!!!!
I am a grown woman who has gone on MANY hikes and been away from home....I have my puffer.... I have money and my passport in case, again, my body need to be identified .....SHUT UP........I am strong...and I have no water or food.....THERE ARE 100 STREAMS TO DRINK FROM ASSHOLE.......no cell phone...not that you would get a signal.....PLEASE......HEY I HAVE MY IPOD......that is good as a physical instrument to defend yourself with....what are you gonna do ..... make them listen to Avril Lavigne?
That voice is so witty.
I pulled out my ipod...charged, thank god.
And I put in an ear phone....just one the right one in case I am going to be attacked.......and push play......Girlicious’ hit ‘Like Me’ starts blaring....suck it scary voice....and my scary voice is lulled by the slutty girls singing.
I find myself happy again....and I have been walking for 40 minutes....and it seems that the path is turning slowly back... that makes me feel better....but it is rollercoastering....as soon as I start going down....I feel happy and sad....because I know it is going back up.
Somewhere in this time period I step in a bog.....a real bog....the path has been wet and my shoes are waterproof to a point....the point is a bog.
I am not wet up to both of my knees.....but perversely this makes me feel very woodsy and adventurous....and wet.
By the time I reach an hour and fifteen minutes....I start to worry....I don’t know where I am....I feel that the path should have really turned....the sky is stormy and I pull the map and in the bottome corner it comments on how the weather turns fast in the burns......so take the appropriate supplies....and read the map, ass.
I see where I might be if I am on the 2 hour walk.....and where I would be if I am on the five hour walk.
I try to picture the phone call to George.....”Can you come pick me up in Clacken....”
Isn’t that a great name.....just about that time I come out at a place where it is clear to me that I am on the right walk....thank god....and I see it turn into a hard dirt path...eff you bogs...and there is a very old foundation for a house of some kind....


there is nothing about it on the map....but it is very cool....I use the word cool because there are no exact words for how ......cool it really is... I feel excited and like I discovered something.....and like it was worth it to be a bit afraid....so I track off the path and walk through the braken into the building....


and the sun comes out....no shit.
I feel very satisfied.
I start to walk up the path as ‘The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald’ begins to play.
The ipod has been a lovely companion....and I have also been talking to my dearly departed dog Otto who would have LOVED this walk.... to keep my spirits up.
It is all uphill but I am so thrilled that I know where I am and that I am on the right walk....and I have been very brave...and discovered and ancient foundation.....I still haven’t seen another person....AT ALL.....what if I travelled back in time....like Brigadoon?!!
That would be awesome and scary.
So, I continue back uphill for 20 minuted till I come to an unclear fork in the road ....and it is still so hilly that I can’t see the town either way.....I make a judgement call .... and as I walk for 15 minutes till I come to a rise.....inside I am chanting in rythmn with every step...... “Please be Tarbert....please be Tarbert....”
I am a bit filled with the worry because the sky has gotten black again.....what if it rains and I have to go under a tree?? What if George thinks I am dead??
Oh here is a thing....what if I think good thoughts???!!!
As I come to a rise I peer over I see.......


Tarbert!!!!
.....and I yell so loud, I scare myself and trip over a rock and almost break my right weak ankle.
I am bounding down the side of the mountain with such a feeling of self satisfaction!!!
I am super awesome......
When I get near the castle the first human I see is this effing huge black and white dog....he sees me and starts to bound for me..... and someone screams...... “SHEAS!”....which I have since found out mens sit...or stop....in gaelic....and I think a monster scottich dude is coming over the hill.....an it turns out being the tinest wizened man I have ever seen....on a cellphone....and he hooks up his dog and turns a suspicious eye my way as he passes....but eff him....even he can’t spoil my high!!!!
I made it.....
Alone....
Who cares if I got chased off the grounds by some over friendly black sheep....

Sharron in Kilmartin and the Stones

So, after the four of us miss the Ferry from Mull to Oban....oh my god...don't ask....they tell us, after we yell and scream for a while....and get called Americans...... that there is a smaller ferry coming for 5 cars....WHAT!?? So we end up on this amazing crossing on this teeny fairy......that was actually my first instint on the spelling of Ferry.....hehehe....and the sun is all shining.....George spies a seal... Auntie Pat and Ma are happy and have their shades on like movie stars.....

We drive down the coast of Loch Fyne and I find myself in this little quaint fishing town in western Scotland....near the Isle of Bute.... I don’t care how juvenille it sounds....that words sounds like....looks like...Butt....and reminds me of a movie that I saw at my friend Thom’s house called ‘Lust in the Dust’ starring Tab Hunter, Divine and Lainie Kazan......in which you see the last two’s stunt asses... if you don’t know what I mean.... or believe it, watch the movie. I digressed....man...Tarbert is a town from Ma and Auntie Pat’s youth....travelling with them has been a treat...going on a trip somewhere is all well and good but going with people who know the area...who grew up in it is a fine thing...places you never might go....histories you never would have known....after hearing so many pearls of wisdom from them for 5 days it was a wonder that one day I turned and asked about a castle and Auntie Pat looked at me and said....’Oh, I don’t know!’....I guess I ask alot of questions....we stopped in a town called Kilmartin....a place their Uncle Angus and Auntie Kate lived a full life...going to their greater rewards at the amazing ages of 93 and 96, respectively. Their is a churchyard in the tiny town of Kilmartin that houses ‘standing stones’. From what I gather... after reading about them for years and chatting with Auntie and Ma...that ‘standing-stones’ are stones that were fashioned and placed in the ground hundreds of years ago....and no one....NO ONE....knows why...I think the wicans think they do....I am sure the druids might know....but no one is admitting to it. They are so...ancient...and being around them gives me a great excitement....I want to know the secrets...I want to find a clue...one stands like a watcher in the cemetary at Kilmartin... which houses alot of medival gravestones...

...which I thought were ‘standing stones’ and got a bit confused ...I mean they were very cool...don’t get me wrong...some of them had warriors and celtic inscriptions on them and them but they just didn’t seem mystic enough..and then ....camera in hand....I turned around and there was stone rising from the ground in front of me with a .....was it?.....yes, it was... a face....like the faces I have seen in pictures of the self same stones in books and magazines of the stones on Easter Island.... a big idol....it stopped me in my tracks. It is the only one that I have no picture of. I guess I had stood looking at it for such a length of time I had worn my camera battery out....or had I? HOOOOOOOOO!

No, really, it was very moving and cool. We found Uncle Angus’s and Auntie Katie’s shared plot....with their lovely stone...Auntie Pat told me that Angus died some years before Katie .... when Katie passed someone played a bagpipe song that had been written for her during her lifetime, and carried her from her home, where she died, across the road to her resting place. I don’t know why this story affected me so....but it made my eyes water, as it did Auntie Pat...and we sat silent for a moment in the small hotel where we were eating our lunch... she...Haggis.... me....Egg Mayo....like Egg Salad but heavy on the mayo.... Anyhow....when George and I found their headstone...I took a picture of it...


which is probably all kinds of bad luck...or weird...but I didn’t even think of it..... and then I turned right around to photograph their view......it was a gorgeous view. They lived a long life, in the place they loved and went into the ground together to look out over the fields.....

Should we all be so lucky.

Scotland....Oban and Tobermory

There is the first and the real Oban Inn!!!
We have been here....Scotland for almost 5 full days and I cannot even believe how beautiful it is.... it is everything I dreamt of.... and more!!!
Gay as that sounds... it is true.
After our awesome place in Glasgow, we hopped into a rental van... the only vehicle big enough to fit my luggage ....oh ya and the other small pieces that the other three people have....it is not that I have alot.......it is just huge....but I sometimes need to have choices.
We drove along some long and windy roads....after about a half hour of winding I took half a gravol.....after another half hour....I took the other half....I am all sensitive to the motion.....
So, I was trying to look at the beautiful views through a drug induced haze...and keep one eye on sweet Georgie's driving...god bless him all on the other side of the road on the skinniest highway.... and I use that word loosely.....I have ever seen!!!
It is so rugged!!!
And mysterious....
We finally drove into Oban...we were staying overnight there before taking the ferry to Craignure on the Isle of Mull early the next morn.
We got to the Hotel......I fell asleep with my clothes on for 3 hours....I still got the jetlag...then we had an awesome meal....again... ( the food is great and thanks to Ma and Auntie Pat we are eating at some lovely places)....
And then we went out to find a place to drink.....
An old dude named Billy, who I could not really understand...who kissed me on the cheek twice...took us to a bar and led us to one side... the lounge side... and told us that I ....being a woman... did not want to go to the bar side because that was where men went....to do men things...
WHAT?!
REALLY?!
I laughed....he didn't ... he was serious.
What year is this?!
Anyhow...that place was kinda ass-ie...so we went to walk the sea wall and ended up at the Oban Inn.....
After living in Niagara it seemed like a good fit....what a great place ....it was founded in....

1790!!!!
For real....we don't even get that in our very new country....anyhow... we met some great people there....Scottish....British....Polish.....I even met a seaman.....seaMan.....who told me that when he didn't live on a ship he just buggered about....then he looked worried... and then he tried to tell me what 'buggered about' meant.... I told him "I got it"!
We drank.
We slept.
We awoke and got on the ferry....and due to the fact that we were going on the rough, open ocean.....another gravol....so I have been mostly drugged up, asleep or full of wine for most of the trip.
And that, my friends, is what I call a vacation.
But I have to tell you... all the I have really dreamt about is the scottish countryside.
And when we got onto the ferry I was pretty sure that was where I was headed!

We got off the Ferry and the sign posted said to be careful of the single lane highways...for 'both ways' traveling cars....on the wrong side.....well...the wrong side to us.
Awesome!
It was a fine drive in.....the country side was so green and then brakenish....again, very rugged...we drove into the seaside town of Tobermory....
Oh
my
god....
First of all... due to where it lies in the gulf stream there are palm trees...
Yup...
And flowers blooming...
In October...
It is about 11 degrees...
It is very magical.
And the harbour looks like it belongs in the Barbados.....
It is all contradictions....
Our hotel....The Western Isles Hotel....overlooks the harbour from a hill... the picture overhead is from our room window....the air is so clear....and the sun is out!!!
Today we went into my very first Scottish castle....I was so excited when I got out of the car I had to use my puffer....
It is called Duart Castle...


It was built in 1350....I mean, really.....it was fabulous.....my fave parts....the battlements...it was all old timey.....then George and I went and walked down to the water and through all the craggy rocks that surrounded the castle....I can almost feel what it was like to see a ship approaching to lay siege.....take out puffer and use it here....
Isn't it all Scotland-ie?
The castle is the home of the Clan Maclean.
One of the chiefs....in the 18th Century.....decided he didn't like his wife.....so he put her out on a rock that would sink as the tide came in.... in full view from a small window in the castle.....oddly one of her kinsman sailed by and picked her up.....her family... the untrustworthy Campbells....didn't kill him right away... they murdered him 30 years later.....keep your eyes on those Campbells.
Duart Castle = Awesome.
I also wanted to go on a walk through the forest....so we went on a hike to Torosay Castle....a newer less interesting castle....and decided to take a short cut back.... basically there was a sign with an arrow that pointed into the middle of a cowfield....
I was feeling very adventurous.....but I stood at the gate with trepidation.....
as the cows are highland cows....heeland coos.....and they have horns.....
But we trudged up the hill.....and were followed by about 40 young students...we made it very clear that we weren't sure where we were going...but they followed anyway.....I tried to give the cows a wide berth.....but when we got to the top of the hill it became clear that the gate and path we wanted to proceed through was occupied.......

Don't they look a little bit scary?
I mean....the horns and all.
But I felt very brave....the brown one smelled my hand....so I went over the fence....
I really did....
The students stood behind us waiting to see what we would do ............
I heard a german voice say "Well, the American is going over!"
As I swung my leg over and tried not to fall 'ass over tea kettle' into a cowpie I yelled out a phrase I have used at least twenty times since I got here....
" No...I am Canadian!"
Not that I don't like my American cousins...but my nationality is a source of pride and distinction!
George just look stunned that I decided to go over....he said that we hadn't really decided what our course of action would be.....but sometimes a girl has gotta go here own way.....I was on an adventure....
with cows.
oh...I am sorry....
coos.
They seemed interested in me.....I just wanted to get up the fricken hill....
All 40 of those students followed.....
Some in highheel boots....
Ah the young.....
I had fricken hiking shoes on and I had to be careful.....then because I was all Norma Rae and filled with P and V....I forged forward.....George told me to turn around....slowly....
they were all following me... not the students....the coos.
Um.
So, we made our way away from the beasts and back onto the path....I was so fricken proud... I felt like I had been on the greatest adventure EVER!!!
I don't get out much.
Now, this what I learned today.

Sometimes you gotta walk off the path.....not knowing where you are going.....sometimes you step in cow shit......sometimes you gotta walk with cows....coos......but if you trust yourself....you will find after a fashion that you are going the right way.
And it will all be worth it!
And you will feel awesome.

First Day in Scotland... Glasgow!

Okay.... I am gonna give this a try.... for all of those who say I cannot live without the camera....eff you!!!
And maybe it is a bit true...but I am so excited about being in Scotland....I didn't even say anything remotely nteresting but who gives and eff?
'Cause I am in Scotland, BABY!!!
The accents make me giggle and George has finally found a bathtub that is his size... which is ironice because everyone here is so short... really.
They are teeny....I am a bit of a giant!
If this can digitally cross the ocean.... consider my mind blown!

Sherida, Scotland and Webshow!!!

Oh my lord!!

I am so effing tired!!!! The things that I have done.... the things I have seen .... the places I have been... I wish I had the time to do a webshow .... I have not had enough time to pee... okay... maybe I have had time to pee....but I am getting ready to move back home to my place in Toronto... for a day.. then George and I go on a trip... we never go anywhere... unless we are working there!!! We are going to .... SCOTLAND!!!! Can you effing take it??? I cannot .... I am just so excited and ....well...due to the vacation and the length of time we are going I ahve to get all my shit in order.... SORRY AUNTIE PAT.... OH Ya.... by the way.... I am going to Scotland with Auntie Pat...what if I swear....we are going for a long time....odds are.... I will swear....Oh ya....here she is....
Isn't she purdy?
I love her... we are going with her and her sister, my mother-in-law....they are taking us for our birthdays... isn't that awesome?
If it was up to us ... we'd be going to Pickering to Cactus Jack's for a Bloomin' Onion and a Singapore Sling... maybe I am overstating due to the fact that I had a wine or two....
Oh... I am a bit drunkie!!!
Anyhow...
I went to see Janet Jackson with one of my best girls ...Vicki.... we had such and effing great time!!!!!
Thank god we went here......she all sickie poo-poo!
Get better Janet!
That chick is 42 years old....
She danced and sang her ass off......
There were people around us who were all young as hell and singing along with her....
I am thinking
"How the eff do they know her???!"
Then the next night I went to
Statlers for a Sheridan College Class of ...
Wait for it....
1989 Reunion......
OH lord.....
What a night.... what a great bunch of people......
We sang and laughed and drank....

Here is a pic of myself and standing beside me...
Michelle....we shared a room when we were the all - white version of 'Ain't Misbehavin'.....
yes....I said it....
and next to her the fantastic Michael....and next to her my love Sherry Lee!!!
We shared a cottage the size of a matchbook for a summer when were in the Sheridan Style....
Oh... I wore alot of blue eyeshadow and a white fake leather bustier....I mean really....
My hair was so high I could barely fit in a car....
Oh those were the days.....
So.... I am going to do a show in Orangeville for Firefighters...ah life is soooo damned tough....
And then the next day I am at the Canwest Cabaret Series at the Young Centre.......
I am sharing a bill with some great performers including Leslie Arden....how great will that be???
It is Sunday at 3:00pm.....it is the Musical Theatre Salon.
And then my peeps.....
SCOTLAND!!!!
Ah!!!!
After that I have a couple of awesome gigs in November.....
On November the 7th I return to the site of my first big deal show.....
The Toronto Centre...
Which was the Ford Centre...
And the Yonge Centre.....
But ..... again... now.... the Young Centre!!!
I was walking around there today and remembering how young I was when I started rehearsal in 1993 for Showboat.....with Hal fricken Prince....
What an experience that was!
They asked me to come up there and so I am!!
It will be an eclectic night and I am so glad to return to North York...a little older... a little wiser... and with a way better wardrobe!!
There will Music Theatre and maybe a pop song or two!!!
I am calling it
'Uptown Girl'
Here at the deets!!!

	Friday November 7th 8:15pm - 10:30pm
	Toronto Centre for the Arts, Studio Theatre
	5040 Yonge Street
	Toronto, ON Call 416 872 1111!!!!! And then my dears a couple weeks later I go back to one of my favorite place to do a whole new show!!! A Broadway show.... Holy Crow!! One night only I am trying it out! Think of it as out of town....yet in town previews!!! It is going to be Sharron's Big Broadway Show!!! Tuesday November 18th @ Buddies in Bad Times!!! 7:30pm Doors and 8:00pm show Tickets are $20.00 and if you have student ID they are $15.00 It is the story of girl named Sharron who starts in the stripping in the chorus of Guys And Dolls and ends up dancing in the streets with John Travolta.... How the eff did that happen? Well, check it out.....
	Google MapQuest Microsoft Yahoo

Until then my friends....
I am off.... to do some shows and then have a vacation...
I will be thinking of all of you!!
Luv
Shar

Butterflies, Brent Carver and Amnesty

How pretty is that picture?
George took it on our little 14th wedding anniversary break to Niagara FAlls.
It is so strange that when you grow up next to one of the natural wonders of the world you forget that it is a big deal....
I don't think I even mentioned what an awesome time George and had on our break...it was just the bees knees.
But we went to the Butterfly Conservatory ..... even thought it sounded a little gaylordy....
it was awesome....
they were flying around everywhere...
I was afraid of stepping on one....I uploaded George's entire cycle of pics onto my facebook page... checks it out!
This one is my fave though.... some loud American woman had a jacket with flowers embroidered on the back and was bellyaching about how she could not get a decent picture of the the blue butterflies...she was so effing loud... and then two landed on the flowers embroidered on the BACK of her jacket.... I found it to be poetic justice.
But what a whirlwind of a month peeps...
I was gonna do a video blog....but I am so effing tired....and I look like I have been rolled over by a truck.
So I chose this instead.....
My 40th Birthday party... that I was having SOOO much fun at I didn't take pictures...Not Sharron's Party... but the party my Georgie planned for me at one of my fave places....The Keg Mansion on Jarvis....I am all old school....and not at all fancy.... and I love steak....a whole bunch of my favorite people got together... and not alot of them knew each other...it was like a dream that had your grade 4 teacher in it and the guy you sat beside when you worked at the Toronto Fim Festival.....BUT Better!
I got such lovely gifts....Michael G ... my friend who designed 'Wizard' at LYKTP gave me a copy of my costume sketch....a woman on the board of LYKTP bought the original...I know it happens but it feels weird....but Michael drew me a whole new one...with notes and all... it is one of the nicest gifts I have ever gotten....
And Bill....my hair guru....got me hair... Fire engine red extentions.... I asked him to dye a couple pieces a the pack of my hair fire engine red... he said no... he does that... and then went and found me and alternative....it was very sweet!
Anyhow....some of my dearest friends were there....it was a small group... I just had a great time.
And then there was Sharron's Party... oh my lord...
The costumes...
The performances...
The surprises....
I will put some live bits up soon... it has been busy!
But suffice it to say this weekend was a huge hit!!
Jeigh Madjus was stellar....he got two job offers...
Ed Sahely asked awesome questions....
And made me laugh... and pee a bit...
Keith will be sad that I didn't pee for him...
Or is it on him...
I ain't sure....
But I may take Keith's advice and bitchslap someone today...
The Maria girls...
Jayme and Marisa were just... so lovely and poised...
They saved my buttocks....
Keep your eyes out for them.....
And well.......

Can you believe that?
I was so nervous during that interview... I still can't believe he came....
Brent Carver....
On Sharron's Party....
What a dream.....
He sang Ten Cents A Dance... one of the first things I ever saw him sing.....one of the things that made me get into cabaret....
and then he sang
Take This Waltz by Leonard Cohen....
Oh....my ...goodness....
Grant Ramsay....my friend and publicist kept pinching me... I said ' I know he is here!!'
It was just not to be believed.
And I felt on fire with the excitement of it all!
Thank you Brent Carver.... oh, and Jeremy Clay... my awesome photo dude....
Check out jclayphoto.com!
And then I drove back to Niagara on the Lake the same night....
TIRED!
And yesterday....
George and I hosted the Amnesty Concert at Shaw in the Royal George....
FANCY!!!
Thom sang Infinite Joy ....oh he good!!!
And Ken James Stewart and Jackie Thair did that awesome Oscar award winning song from Once....Fallen Joy.....or Falling Down.....one or the other... they were excellent... the Done Me Wrongs...it was just a fab night with dramatic readings....Jenny Phipps and William Vickers.. and Peter Millard has and alter ego as a crazy prop comedian professor...
Oh... and I had to fill some time during a set up... so I got a dude in the front row to take mine and George's pic...but I took a pic with him first....

This is him.... his name is..... Jim???? I think..... then we turned around and got a pic of us.....


Not bad, eh?
We clean up nice.....
What a time it was....
Now I feel like a fricken head cold....
TOOO Much....
Next up?
Sharron's Big Broadway Show on November 18th....
One night only peeps.....I have written it and I wanna see how it all goes....
And before that?
Scotland!!!
yes... I am going with George and his Mom... and the ever vigilant Auntie Pat....
I CANNOT wait!
But first ... I work... and then I sleep... and then I get up and work more......

First 40th at Buddies

I am just sitting in my young friends Sara's apartment... which is actually Patricia's apartment... she is away in Little Shop Of Horrors in Edmonton....

Which is far away....

She called this morn and we had a conference call just like we were at a slumber party... and I don't care what anyone says...you are never too old for a good old slumber party.

I am tired but well rested... how can that be?

Well....it is!!!!

I just realized that I am in this apartment with no keys...

And no food...

Sara asked what kind of food I liked and said..

" Oh no don't buy anything for me... I will bring food."

Did I?

I am so effing hungry... and I can see food out the window but I can't get to it.

This is what it must have been like to be on Survivor....

or not.

This is a true New York style apartment the way the light shines throught the windows and it is surrounded by alot of really quaint 6 floor walk ups....

Oh....

I had such a great time last night, you guys...

It feels great to be 40 and surrounded by such awesome supporters and friends.

I just feel.... so happy about that.

Keith Cole camed dressed... in the EXACT same outfit as me...

really....

Fashion Crimes thought it was a great idea...

Thanks to Fashion Crimes... they are just the best....

And they gave me one of my favourite dresses... for my birthday....

I love them...

So will you...

fashioncrimes.ca...

You HAVE to check them out!

Anyhow...

Rachael McCaig... played the guitar in a million dollar looking outfit... hot... and sang dirty and funny dittys....thanks Girl.

And those two girls...

Marisa McIntyre

and

Jayme Armstrong....

What troopers ....

One was doing interviews all day in Waterloo

and the other had a Jersey Boys dance call about 2 hours beforehand...

They came and told fab stories about their experience and left the audience gasping and laughing...

They told it all....

You shoulda been there.

I had a great night....

Tonight is gonna be something else all together...

I am very excited...

And nervous!!

It will be awsome!!!

Who knows how it will go.... that is the exciting part ab0ut it being LIVE!

WORLD DOMINATION!!! Oh ya... and I am turning 40..

I decided purple is a good birthday colour babies....
40?
I had one of those....'am I doing all this work for nothing'... birthday moments with George yesterday.....
'What am I doing?' I asked him.
'Is this worth it?' I say.
He looks me dead in the eye....
'Do you have fun?'.....He continued....
'I know the promo is hard....and you worry how many people will come....but when you get onstage....do you have fun?'
Then the room is quiet as I look through the window.
I am all 'looking through my last 40 years'.... unsure, elated, confused, excited....
Very 'acting-class' of me... I know...
But then I started to work on this little video in order to get people out to the show....
And I out loud laughed at Gavin Crawford and thrilled to the voice of one of my young people Michael Hughes and just shook my head at the singing ability of Donna Lajeunesse and left humbled by the balls and creativity of Jonathan Wilson.......
I even smiled at my own musings... and thought... I look pretty effing good for almost 40!
And I turned to George with a smile on my face
IT IS WORTH IT!
Here it is people....
I had real fun with this one...
I think I am Spielberg....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zhm3VR4DQ5U

Self promotion is....
challenging....
I try to get it out there....
But, not so much that people want to club me...
Ya know...
I have one 40th Birthday pet peeve...
I am gonna say it and then send it soooo that I don't lose my gumption.
I never use this page for ranting... not really...
except for the Maria show....
But, come on!
Let see how this goes...
Maybe I will delete it later....
Well....
It is like Gavin said in the above video.... if you are proud of what you do sometimes... and name something after yourself...people think you uppidy....
I think I spelled that wrong!
He actually says... people think you an asshole...
I have recently had some people tell me that I do too much...
Out of the blue...
'Sharron... too many emails!'
I find it gobsmaking that people walk up and tell me that and don't think that is gonna poop me out a bit... as a self promoter and all.
Maybe they don't care.
Someone actually came to me at an opening and said....
"I can't open a paper without seeing you!"
and said it with some sort of disdain...
A friend... actually.....
I'm...... sorry?
What?!!!
I breathe heavily....
I guess I am me.... loud and proud.
And I believe in what I do!

I love having the awesome guests....
I love singing the pop tunes...
I love talking and singing with an audience....
I LOVE writing the stories....
But, my dears peeps.... if people don't like the promo...
Please just do what I do...

Delete it...
It is one click of the finger....
Just delete it....

And keep all us self promoters happy....in spirit...
There aren't enough of us...
Support our artists who are trying to do something outside of the box of corporation....
And just click it....
Anyhow....
wow... that was a rant for me...
that being said.....

Come out to
Sharron's Party this weekend
September 19th and 20th
and celebrate my 40th Birthday with...
Holy poopies....
Janna Polzin and Brent Carver!!
Jeigh Madjus and Rachael McCaig!!!
and showing up for fun and frivolity...
Ed Sahely and Keith Cole....
I am excited to turn 40 and hope that you can be there for a whole new show!!!

Sharron and George Married September 10th 1994

I don't know... but this pic will only come on side ways...
BUT....The day was just like this.....
blue sky....
few clouds....
My sister and my mom... and EVERYONE left me to sleep that morning... George and I didn't stay together....tradition, what?... he had to share a room with his brother... can you take that.... he asked me just this morning why he had to do that....
But I was all alone, smoking.... oh fuck I loved to smoke...sorry Auntie Pat.... and I looked at all the flowers in my sisters beautiful back yard that goes into a ravine... and felt....
TERRIFIED!
Not because I was getting married.... but because I didn't know where anyone was....had they left me... where the eff were they???
I had never planned on getting married... I was gonna be single and fabulous... all Sex and the City before we even knew what the eff it was....
But here I was...
At one point, after my family finally showed up....
( I had called George on our two-ton cellphone and screeeched that I didn't know where anyone was...he walked around and found them... gotta love him... and he still married me....)
I went and got my hair done... just like on the Wedding Shows....I was wearing black tights and a denim top... and a flowered hair piece.....smoking a cigarette....oh my lord.....the white trashedness of it all....
I put on the big white dress..... that I decided I needed one day....
I got into a white.... yes, white limo.....and off I went....
I got very nervous just before I walked down the aisle...
But then I saw him....
And even though we weren't instructed to....I grabbed his hand... and I looked into his eyes...
I knew everything was gonna be....
Fine.
As long as we were a team....
We would do fine.

Britney SPEARS!!! OH MY GOD!!!

OH my lord you guys!!!
She is gonna try it again.....
I mean.... Oops.... she is gonna do it again!!!!
Without the oops!!!
Now, we all know how I love a little Brit!!!
She is awesome and trashy and messy but I can't stop watching her and rooting for her.....because I love her ....and because she is a source of alot of my material!!
After that horrible MVA debacle.... was it two years ago... or was it just last year?.......she has pulled up here thigh-highs and decided to give it another go!!
That is moxie and I wish her the best...
What is it gonna be like?
What is she gonna wear?
How is it gonna be?
Are you all rooting for her like I am???

Doe, Belting and Brent Carver!!!

Here is Webshow 12 Part Two....
If you haven't seen Part One scroll down....
You can watch them without watching the other....
They stand alone.....
Like 'Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer' and 'Rudolf's Shiny New Year'....
ISH.......

The Party, Olympics and The DNC!!

Hey Y'all!!!
Here is Webshow 12... Part 1.... oh how time has flown!