Sunday, August 28, 2011

Dreams come many different ways

I am sitting at the table in my university flat that I share with the awesome group that is Team Jesus...and I am filled with melancholy.

This has been a challenging ride, my friends.

One of the hardest yet.

One of the most rewarding.

Here is (in the true spirit of my media whoring ways) what the reviewers have said...(and I really get used to whoring myself even more than usual over is a epidemic.....people will tell you how many stars they got from the Scotsman before you learn their a self producer, I appreciate and admire this)

The Scotsman named Jesus Thinks I'm Funny "Best of the Fest" along with 15 other performances and said "She owns the stage and anyone who dares look her way" and gave me 4 Stars (they love the stars here...FYI-this was my most prized possession from this visit here....people will fucking do many untoward AND NASTY things to get a Scotsman reviewer in. )

The Skinny (love that they are called The Skinny) called the show "A brilliant piece of comedy cabaret" and gave 5 stars.

Hairline claimed the show is "a ballsy, chaotic, foul mouthed version of Glee.", which, oddly enough, was what Three Weeks said last it....and gave 4 Stars...

(Sidebar...I asked the audience who wrote Beth (by Kiss) and a youngster yelled out "Glee" and I had a child, passed out and changed into a panther....I watched Season 3 of True Blood while I've been here...that would explain the panther reference)

This year Three Weeks said "Not only is Sharron Matthews a superstar, she is a force of nature." NATURE PEOPLE!!! And they gave me 4 Stars.

And One4Review handed me a plump 5 Stars...first review of the fest..."This is pure entertainment at it's best. Fabulous!" (Yes, there was an exclamation after 'fabulous'...I didn't add it.)

I did about one million personal appearances and two Best of the Fest shows...and feel promo/publicity sated.

It was amazing and fabulous to perform with the people that I did these Fest shows with...amazing.

All these things I did through a haze of antibiotics and lozenges...suffering from a throat infection ...BUT knowing I would be well soon...believing it! My last week I would be FREE AND FUCKING CLEAR !!!

And then... to top off the whole experience, my last show at the Edfringe 2011... I am sick as a dog.


I have ANOTHER throat infection.

After a full run of anti-freakin-biotics for the first one.

What the fuck.

I was well for about 3 days in the middle.

Then during my second show this week...I felt the tickle in my heart sank.

I have been soldiering along...I had to cancel a couple shows...which was really hard to do...but that is life, yes?

I went to the Royal Infirmary for a second time and the doctor said (after recognizing me from a promotional appearance I did earlier...fancy and odd) how lucky I was to get two throat infections...huh...I mentioned that I didn't think luck is the word I'd use....unless you put SUPER CRAPPY in front of it.

So, I have been sick for two weeks of my four...which has been a bit spiritually lordy as that sounds...but I think you get it.

I rest all day and don't talk ...and then warm up for a couple hours on and off...and then do the show...then come home and go to bed.

As I has been a challenge.

But things have been going so well in SO MANY ways...I just haven't had a chance to see any other work, to participate in an symposiums...I know I know...I am very blessed to be is just disappointing on that front.

When I have been able to do the shows I have had packed to sold out houses...the word of mouth and the promo has been when I had to cancel... it was just....arg.

No one said it would be easy, yes?

I got myself here...and the situation is what it is...and I made the very best of it...I remind myself constantly that life isn't always perfect is what you do with what you have been given...but still...challenging.

(Pause here for reflection ....and to do the LAST show...and to go on an adventure...and to be in my room in Edinburgh...with everything packed up and ready to go...and I realize that I have not finished this I finish it or bury it? Do I just not mention the part of the journey that was really fucking hard this year?)

So, last night, we had a sold out house plus 10 people that we shoved in the back...and, of course, because it is the last show and I got two seconds of voice...there is a really verbal, loud, asshole of a heckler...who I dispatch as quickly as possible...but then about 10 minutes later he reemerges and he says something so awful and unkind...I realize for the first time that I might have to eject his ass...and tell him so...and the audience claps...but I decide to give him some rules if he wants to stay...I see a couple people looking nervous...and I mention to them that this guy...and I point my finger into his nothing...I have worked in bars all my life ...this is nothing...and then the guy becomes quiet...he agrees to the rules...and the show continues...huh...but I have my eye on that motherfucker.

With all the challenges...It is a great show....a really fine night...I am a bit hoarse but I do the very best I can...and I manage to enjoy myself...believe it or not...and at the end this guy...the fucking heckler says "You're a Superstar"...and I stop all sound and say "What the fuck did you just say?"....he says it again...and I look at the audience and say..."They always crawl to me at the end."...big applause...but you know what? It could a gone either really could have...but I was willing to see it through...whatever the ending...this place is a TRIP!!!

I went to the dressing room and had a cry...and then did a TV interview.


What a life.

Thank you for it...I really do....but what the fuck...all because I told the world that you think I'm gotta put me through the ringer....well, you know what Jesus?...WORTH IT!!!

Instead of going out after, Chris (who now has my cholera) Chloe, Rob, Simon (Rob's partner) and I...basically Team Jesus sans Anjali (who has ridden my vocal fader like a Nascar driver...WTG Anjali!) come back to the flat and have fizzy vitamin C's and Chinese take out and go to bed early....because I am not done, bitches.

I have 5 days off to brush off the dust and REALLY rest and then... I TAKE MY SHIT TO LONDON!!!

At this point I would love to heartily thank Team Jesus...Rob who produced the show and made sure every seat was full every night....Chloe who was on the mile along side him every day...flyering like a mofo...Anjali who teched the eff out of the show...and to my dear Cooch, who took care of my ass. He played like a son of a bitch and made me chicken noodle soup. Team Jesus rocked...and I thank we will french kiss LONDON!!!

If you wanna come I would love to have you!!!

My London debut....and I am ready people...primed....and stoked.

After all this practice and rest I will be like a fucking race horse at the starting gate....I can feel it.


The room is smaller...and the tix are selling....Friday Sept 2nd at 10:00pm and Sunday Sept 4th at 7:00pm...and that is it!!!!

Who knows when I will be back?

Go to for info and tix and stuff!!!

This morning...thanks to the FINE people at VisitScotland...Chris and I went on a van tour...Rabbie's the the Loch' a Whiskey Distillery...though we were knackered...we couldn't wait...and it was FABULOUS!!! The driver and guide, Barney, was fabulous...the tour was very personal and so engaging...a lot of stops and all very different...but never too many....really really fabulous.

And my fave part was, on the way back, Barney pulled off and said "This is not a scheduled stop but we are running on time and there is a farmer's field here with some standing stones in it..."

I have always wanted to see and touch the standing stones...and never have.


They are 5000 years old and no one knows why they are there or what they are for...they just are.

I am taking it is a life lesson...okay...I am gonna get lordy...we don't know why it is hard just is...and you deal ...and live....and move on...and celebrate your victories and live through the rest.


Here are some pics of our fabu day.


LONDON. bitches!!!

Me and Tour Banana

We are on a Grade 9 trip... apparently.

Hermitage Waterfall

Hermitage Waterfall

We are in front of the Stream that we wanted in the picture....

Loch Tay

Chris at the Dewar's Distillery

Chris finds a straight...of course.

OKAY!!! GEORGE!!! FETCHE LA VACHE!!! This is where they filmed "Monty Python's Holy Grail"...I know I spelled the french cow thing wrong...evs.

Standing Stones.

Standing Stones.

A dream come true...

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