Day 7 and the night it had to end!!! AND ENDED BIG!!!

I am sitting in front of gate 52 at the Newark airport.
I am looking am looking at a plane that is going to Portugal and am intrigued.
And then I think of this....

What a last day....
We woke late after I discovered a “running around NY late at night celebrating opening night” injury... just a scrape...but for the life of me I have NO idea where I got it.

Gross, right?
No matter what I do for the rest of my life...and my plan is to do as many more cool things as the universe allows...nothing will ever top my first night at Joe’s....

The last one was taking a drink after I ate the shrimp....these photos were taken by John Maher....thank you JOHN!!!
I had my second night work cut out for me people.
We started the day meeting Sara Farb, Mickey G and James Levesque for brunch.

It was very nice except for the child who seemed to be tempting the fates standing behind me in his booth with his maple syrup covered hands dangerously close to my naturally curly and naturally red hair.

We went back and slept a couple hours.
My thoughts were full of challenge and nerves...the night had been the best of my life...how could this be better....what do you think the answer is?
It won’t....it will be different.
That is what I kept breathing in and out.
I got there early and really sat in that dressing room...and I thought...I am at the freaking ublic theatre...in an awesome dressing room...with my name on the door...and I am the only person here....breathe it in.

I got into a whole new FC outfit and got ready to do my thing...Wayne was equally as unsure of what was to come....
The audience was...PACKED.
PACKED!!!

There were some Showboater’s; Richie McCall, Michael Scott, Brigid Brady...and National touring Les Mis-ers; Nettie Harrington, Jason Reiff...
And there was freaking SANDRA CALDWELL AND TERESA TOVA AND GILLIAN TOOKE...and for the record Gillian was in her “Sharron’s Army” TSHIRT!
The fantastic Grant Ramsay and Tim Hughes...Gail Hakala and her mom Elizabeth...Erika Santilana...Sam Strasfeld....the beautiful Sara Farb and the famous Jeigh Madjus....Carly freakin’ Street....Elenna Mosoff...SO MANY!
Bruce DEAN was there!
I know I am missing a ton of people...but it was staggering...then there was a ton of people that the lovely John Austin from up in TO sent...and then there were a BUNCH of people that I didn’t know...at all....
And Barbra...she had come the night before...and she brought 4 people back with her!
It WAS A FREAK SHOW of fabulousness....and there was my sweet sweet George...god I love him...he has the video camera...and the camera...what the eff would I do without him?
It was a great show.
Second nights are challenging, let us be honest....but it still went swimmingly.
I got a great response...I exited to a standing O...I say it again....that sounds conceited..but I wanna honour what happened..and I exited to one of the waitresses screaming that I “KILLED IT!”

And when I came back to the dressing room I saw this....

Life will never be the same....wow...Wayne...that

is a rack.
What an amazing night.
What an amazing journey people.
I think the most gratifying moment I had...there were many, do not get me wrong...but when I came into Joe’s the second night and saw the same bar staff and they said “YEAH!!! You are back!!! You are our favourite.”
They see a lot of things...and that made me smile...and they wanted to give me drinks after...
I always think if you really wanna get a true feeling of how it went...sit with the bar staff.
I ended up with them for a while.
Then I felt...spent...thrilled...a bit bereft that it was over...I feel a lot of things.
I did have the dream that someone would see my show and PUT ME THE EFF ON BROADWAY!
You know I did.
But WAIT A MINUTE I played two nights...two grand nights at Joe’s Pub. I met so many people...a bunch of reviewers...came....I really felt a part of the community!
And, thank god, they got me.
And had my dear Canadians with my all the way....
After the show Derrick, Wayne, George and I walked out the front doors and I made us all stop and think and then we took these pics of our first outting to the Public Theater as participating artists....yah.

I feel so weepy.
Not at all like I thought I would.
We went to get a bite as I had had nothing since the beginning of the night....RAY’S PIZZA BYOTCHES!!! One of my fave things....
And then D, W and G and I met Carly, Teresa, Gillian, Elenna and had the worse glass of wine I have ever tasted...but it was still sweet.

IT IS NOT DONE!
We were supposed to meet Grant and Tim at Marie’s but after sitting with the wait staff at Joe’s it was a bit late...we were late...and we missed them...I gotta text GRANT!!!
DO NOT HATE ME!!!
Marie’s Crisis Cafe is one of my fave places in NY.

It was pretty empty.
But there was a great player and an older lady ...and after ALL of us sat around the banquet the lady started to sing “Everything Must Change”...it was stirring and thought provoking...and just perfect...a perfect NY moment...and there I was with all of these wonderful friends...
We asked her to sing again...and she did...
Then the man behind the piano, who was fabulous by the by, chatted with us and asked Wayne and I if we would like to do a tune...I HAVE NEVER seen another piano player, who was not working at the Cafe...behind the piano...it was magic....and we did the one song that I had to cut both shows due to time constraints (read: I talked too much in my show) “Hanging By a Thread”....it was awesome...Wayne and I played Joe’s AND Marie’s in one night...

What a way to almost end our night.
ALMOST THERE!!
I made everyone come with me, it is 3:00 am not, to Manitus, a 24 hour restaurant in the village and we ate and laughed.

That, by the way, is George's new photo pose.
God, I laughed while I was in NY.
I felt the goodwill and support of my friends....the thrill of victory and the wood burning moments of working it out.
The melancholy of a job finished.
Oh my god...I sound all freaking Farley Mowat right now.
I have NEVER worked harder in my life.
I am spent.
I am.......
At the end of the night Carly, George and I watched the sun come up on Broadway....just like from The Producers.
So NY!

Here is what was Twittered during my show last night from the management at Joe’s Pub......
@JoesPubNYC
Sharron Matthews covers Bohemian Rhapsody and somehow this was surprising in a set of great surprises


And this is from Magda Katz, a reviewer from Broadwayafterdark.comwho came Saturday night...

The Canadian cabaret artist Sharron Matthews made her New York City appearance last Saturday night at Joe’s pub. What a debut it was. Sharron took the stage wearing a pink tutu like halter prom dress With 60’s style white heels. She is a is a full-figured lady with an amazingfull-sized voice. She is a pinchof Ethel Merman and Bette Midler. Her show is deliciously campy and her interpretation of a song is unique and wonderful. Sharron Matthews’s personality and talent really shines as she sails through some of the contemporary hits of the 80’s. When she combines Shirley Bassey’s “Diamonds Are Forever” with Madonna’s “Material Girl” she is able to recreate the original sound of both artists. Her voice is so great that she leaves her audience wanting to hear more. Joe’s Pubhad a full house full of adoring fans that knew her from Canadian Cabaret. She turned the room into a private party. I felt as if she had a personal relationship to everyone in the audience. Sharron is one of thoserare performers that comes along once in a while and gets notices in a downtown club and builds a loyal following a la Bette Midler.

Holy Crapbags!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! YAY!!!

My Cabaret Debut in NY!!! REally!!!

What do you say?
WHAT THE EFF do you say?
How do I describe it without totally sounding....hm.
First of all....I could not be more tired and am going back to sleep asap!!!
But I wanted to get it out there....
Last night was...without a doubt...one of the most amazing nights of my life...
When we got to Joe's for the soundcheck I was nervous...not over the top...but a bit nervous...okay...I was a bit "my bowels feel untrustworthy...". That is just honesty folks.
Then we saw the awesome...and I do mean awesome...dressing room....

The walls are covered with very lovely drawings and pictures of people who played the Pub.
Judy Collins, John Lithgow, Carly Simon....and this one right beside my chair...

Um....yah. Wowie!!!
I mean, really.
And then I started to get...flowers!
The Blackman sisters....all the way in London England sent a beautiful bouquet....and then it turned out that my sweet doggies, Cassie and Tyson sent us flowers...I think that they must have had a hard time talking on the phone...because the note said they were from Cathy and Tyson. The humans who are loving them up while we are here must be giving them a lot of leeway.
Then into the room.
It truly is fabulous....truly....it is the best mix of the Gladstone and Tallulah's....and there is an AMAZING sound and lighting crew (Kevin and Jeff)....
At dinner George and Derrick insisted that I eat...I ate a little and then I felt all pukey.
Back to the theatre....show time came so bloody fast...SOOO fast....
After describing my gig to Helena the stage manager, it was pretty much time to go...donning my sweet, pink, FC dress with a flower on it as big as my head...and putting on a pair of high heels that a drag queen would say "Damn girl, those are high!" to...I went out to say hi to everyone...that is one of my fave parts...there were tons of people I didn't know...old and young...who had read about it on the Joe's site or from their mailing list of 150, 000....staggering, I know.
It was an amazing house.....
Constance and Sasha came down from TO, as did, Bradley, Devon Tullock (already there, but that counts!)...the same can be said for Leah Oster, Jennifer Stewart, Angela Wright, Michael Gianfrancesco, James Levesque... Paul and Chris came down from Montreal!!!
And then there were all the NY people I have known...Kim Lindsay, Dathan Williams and his partner Parker, Lorna Hampson, Tyley Ross, Eric Robertson and his wife Linda, John Maher, Shane Bland and his wife Dale, Lexie Gallant, Whitney Webster, Pete Kaiser!!
This list goes on!
And my dear PR dude Don invited a lot of folks....and there were, as I said, a ton of new people....it was packed!
And then I got the sign that it was time...and I started.
And I felt it right from the first moment....it was gonna be a great night.
They were with me at every turn...Wayne was flawless.
People were eating through the whole show and a guy right in front had a shrimp salad...so I had a piece of shrimp...during the show...and washed it down with his whole drink.
And he smiled throughout!
I ran a bit long so I had to cut 2 songs...I fucking talk too much...and let the audience pick the last song...
When I bowed...it was like that very first cabaret I did at J.J.'s on church street....I am gonna say it...it is gonna sound conceited...but I wanna say it and share it with you all...judge me if you will...but know that it comes from celebrating all the hard work beforehand ....I got two standing ovations.
On my NY cabaret debut...at Joe's Pub.
It was just so special....and we went out to celebrate after!!
Don't worry...I don't work tonight until 9:30pm...I am good.....
I love you guys!!!!!
Thanks to George, Wayne, Derrick and Donald for making the night happen!

Day 4 and Day 5 ....and "It's Today"!!!

“BLAH BLAH...hats out....blah blah....hands up.....blah blah curtain....IT’S TODAY”....sing that to the tune of “It’s Today” from Mame....do you know that song? Clearly I do not.
I can’t believe it...and I can at the same time...all the planning and here it is..although, I gotta say after all of the work that I have been doing this week it just seems like a continuation...which is a good thing.
I took Thursday off....I mean, I worked on the computer like a motherfucker...but I didn’t do any promo!
I went down to Soho, nope that is not it...Chelsea....not that either....OH NYU district....er something....basically I got off a Union Square and sweated around the...square lookin’ for my gal Elenna!!!
She is down here interning at a theatre...WAIT!!! theatER company and we met at a super nice restaurant called “Republic”...you kinda have to sit at long tables with other people....I don’t take to that, people.
But the food and the COMPANY was fabu.
Then! I thought...okay...I am here..I am not going out tonight to sing...should I? Would I?
I picked up my purse and off I went to TKTS...the line was short and the guy at the booth was surly!
I had a lot of suggestions from all of you but John from Toronto really was adamant about Sherrie Renee Scott in “Everyday Rapture”....so I said “One for Everyday Rapture , please” the dude in the booth scowled. He said he had an EXCELLENTticket for $63.00....that sounded very expensive...he scowled...I asked if her had any crappy tickets that were cheaper....he scowled. I left.
I really wanted to see it...so I started to motor across Times Square and ran into, none other than, Gail Hakala....she is down here with her mother...and I told her that we would run into each other...it is a small big world.
Anyhow...after our chat I went to the theatre where “Rapture” was playing and asked the nice gentleman in that booth it he had rush seats....he could not have been kinder and I walked away with a not so awesome....but still I had one....seat for the show for $21.50, suck that scowlie.
I went next door to have a bite and in the middle of my egg salad sandwich I looked up and there was freaking Ben Vereen...I gasped and smiled and he winked at me...AT ME!!!
What a great day this was!
I really enjoyed the show...it was a great story and the music was gravy...she “took a good part” as my mom would say. I really was inspired.
And then Ben Vereen walked out of the theatre behind me....I shit you not...I wanted to ask for a picture...but I was too shy...TOO SHY!!
And I went up to Amsterdam and W 80th and met Sara Farb for a drinkie...it is like Canada in NY!!!
Then yesterday Wayne and Derrick arrived...we metted....we rehearsed ( yes, we set up that pic...eff!) in a room that Joe’s helped me find across from their theatre...and Wayne and I went out for dinner...(As you can tell, I will be speeding thru yesterday as I need to sleep more and Georgie just arrived after taking the Megabus and I want to hug him.)

Then I went out...again!
Short FORM IT!!!
I took a million dollar cab ride to the Metropolitan Room.
Fucker got lost 2 times and took me to the wrong address.
I sang at the Metrojam...small but lovely crowd...
Don and I (did I mention that my PR dude is the ABSOLUTE best...he is a dear man) get in a cab and go to the Laurie Beechman Theater.
THERE IS WAYNE waiting for us in a tie.
He is cute!
The crowd seems a little small...and I gotta say it...a tad surly....but I get asked up and I sing with Wayne and I feel great about what I did...the gentleman who runs the night, Brandon, it very complimentary and I see that Sara and Derrick have arrived and I feel good about it ALL!

Then I hear a young, entitled and soul killing drunkie making fun of my card, and my title...mocking me ... saying “Oh come see my show, because I think I am fabulous”....I feel a litte curfuffled...I let it bug me for a while...and then I think...why can I not be fabulous?
A Superstar?
Suck it loser!!!!
Then we leave to go to another place and we stop out front to talk to these lovely gentlemen....

Wayne is flirting.
I cockblock him and steal him away.
We go to Mama's...and see this wonderful man named George be fabulous and outrageous...

Look closely...those aren’t his.
I begin to fade.
I sing my tune with Wayne...who is, by the way, having the best time...THE BEST!!!
I cannot even write down here what time it is....
And I get my ass in a cab.
Sleep...
I am now going back to it!
Tonight at 7:00pm!!!
I am excited.
I really am.

Day 2 ish and Day 3....Holy....I saw EVERYTHING....

I am so fucking tired.
I feel all covered in a film of dirtiness...but ALIVE!!!
There was an 86 year old chorine who sang that tonight at the last piano bar I went to....the Townhouse again...which I find very intriguing ...the mix of people...a bunch of sugar daddies...and Ricola was back...he says he is coming to Joe’s...I hope it is true!
The only other time I have heard the “But Alive” song is the lovely Thom Allison’s compact disc...I think he would have enjoyed Helen’s version.
I fit in all there was of NY today.
Yesterday was a lot of work at the computer...after the VERY late night beforehand and the nodes-making singing (I don’t have nodes...what I do have is a lot of drama in my speechifying) I could not get my shiz together. But I worked... yes, I did... then when I met Don, my PR dude, it was a bit half hearted on my part...and the NY cabaret scene was very quiet last night...but that was alright...I did stop off at Marie’s Crisis Cafe...which has always been a lark for me...a fun thing to do...and the thought of trying to get the attention of the drunken tourists who were there....not all were drunken or tourists...and niether of those things is actually horrible together or separate...but there were a couple messy ones.
I didn’t want to sing...I hate to sing where I have to compete...suck it up Matthews.
So, Franca, the fabu lady playing the piano asked me what I wanted to do...and I said “On My Own” from Les Mis...and I walked up to the loud asses who would not shut up and took their hands and sang the song to them. They had to shut up...and then half way thru I started handing out cards.
Ah, the glamour.
So, I made it an early night because I wanted to be fresh for this great day!!!
This big day.
I had a lot of plans.
I was up early....even though it sounded like someone was building something outside of my window all night...so loud.
But I put on one of my fave Fashion Crimes summer frocks and pearls and off I went to the Times Square Welcome Center.
The fabu Blair Irwin was there with her mother Elizabeth...it was great to have Canadians there....and Blair took my Kodak Easy Shot and took all of the shots there!
The place was already filling up for “Live from Broadway”, Seth Rudetsky’s Sirius show...Julie James, Seth’s producer greeted me and gave me the run down...and Seth came and we chatted about how he was at my VERYFIRST cabaret in Toronto at J.J.’s...he was in town MDing Forever Plaid and ended up at my show...so...ssooooo many years ago..I am so thankful that he had me on.
I then met the headliner guest...Katie Finneran...she is nominated for a Tony for her role in “Promises, Promises”....and she COULD not have been kinder or more encouraging.
Seth did a fun interview!

I sang, with Seth on piano, one of my fave mash ups...as the kids say... “Material Girl/Diamonds are Forever”..and I ended it ....ahem...a BIT dramtically.....

We played “Showdown”, which was a trivia game...she and I were on the same team and there were two tourists from Bowling Green, Kentucky on the other team....and Katie (my new BF) and I were playing for a audience member...I think Beverly was her name....anyway...the competitive side of me just burst to the top....and I knew all the answers....it wasn’t until after that I thought I might have wanted to dial it back a bit...wow...I was just a bit much, maybe....but what the eff!!!I WON!!! Though, admittedly, I cheated a bit...but just a bit.

Thanks Blair for the shot taking!
It was a great time.
Then I went to visit Pete and Jed, my NY agents...they have a big new office...well, not new to them...I haven’t been down in a while. They told me how to get to The Public Theatre where Joe’s Pub is. They are good peeps, Pete and Jed....
I wanted to check out the digs.
I rode the train to a part of the city where I had NO IDEA where I am....it could be soho...it could be Canal Street-ie...I have no idea...but I saw the theatre...and then I saw this.

And then I cried....and got super excited.
And then I saw the room...and GOT EVEN MORE EXCITED!
I met with the publicist, the booker, the tech and the liason...and they could not have been more welcoming...it just washes over me how kind everyone has been here...and that is a young crew....young and hip.
The Joe’s room made me think of Sara Farb...hmm.
Then, full of happiness and with a feeling all is right in the world...I proceeded to get lost and enter 3 wrong subway stations...and put my unlimited pass thru EVERYTIME....holy cow it was hard to find.
I subwayed it to midtown to the Iguana where I had set up a meeting with an interviewer for nitelifeexchange.com, Daryl is his name.
We had a lovely interview...I looked down at my flip flopped feet. (I was carrying my 4 inch heels...yes, 4 inches...what the fuck?....in my purse, like any serious contestant on America’s Next Top Model) My feet looked like I was an orphan in the touring production of Annie...dirty....dirty....

from the hot, sweaty city!
Then I had a whorish foot wash in the Iguana's upscale bathroom...much to a older ladies' chagrin.
I then walked the 10 blocks to Lincoln Centre to meet my dear friends from old time Showboat days, Panchali and Kim....oh lord it was great to see them! It was so nice just take a moment and see friends.
Then I was off to Porno Bingo with Will Clark...that was fun...and this is the corner it is on.

Wonder if I am in the right place!!!YAY!!!

I love it.
Everyone at Pieces was, again people, so kind and welcoming....even though I could not stay very long....I had a blast there! I swore like a sailor there....

Then the evening winded down and we (Don and I...he met me at Pieces) went back to the Townhouse...and I am back where I started...
I left out a couple things...like the crazy dude with flags in his har in the lunch place....the guy on the subway with no pants...he was some smelly...I actually had to change cars...
But it is late....
Tomorrow is a day of going over the show for the weekend...I think instead of going out to busk tomorrow...I might just see something...wouldn’t that be great?
We shall see!!!

Sharron on Sirius Radio Tomorrow at NOON!

Holy poopbags!
Tomorrow at noon people I am on Seth Rudetsky's fantastic Sirius Radio show....I will be chatting and singing....OH my LORD!
Did you know that Siruis is a FREE APP to you koo koo IPhone users??? Did ya? Being that I am the queen of the Blackberry...which quite frankly seems like an Atari computer now...I wouldn't know...but Georgie loves his IPHONE!!!
So tune in at NOON!!!
***I think I am taping this TOMORROW and it airs on Friday at 7:00pm***
Here is the info!
SIRIUS XM Live On Broadway
About the show:

Each week, Broadway fans are invited to SIRIUS XM Live on Broadway with host Seth Rudetsky to watch live interviews and performances with their favorite Broadway stars at the Broadway Concierge & Ticket Center.

Listeners can hear SIRIUS XM Live on Broadway each week on SIRIUS XM’s ‘On Broadway’ channel every Friday at 7 pm ET, with encore broadcasts on Sundays at 11 pm ET, Tuesdays at 7 am ET and Wednesdays at 12 noon ET. Now also heard on OutQ, America’s only radio station catering to the GLBT community, on Saturdays at 10 AM ET!

Previous SIRIUS XM Live on Broadway guests include Alan Cumming, Bebe Neuwirth, Ben Vereen, Betty Buckley, Raúl Esparza, Cheyenne Jackson, Lynda Carter, Andrea McArdle, Laura Benanti, Gregory Jbara, Gavin Creel, Alice Ripley, Lea Salonga, Howard McGillin, Norm Lewis, Rebecca Luker, Marc Kudisch and composers Charles Strouse and Marc Shaiman, among many others.

Day One DONE! I am pooped! Birdland, Don't Tell Mama and Town House...hold crap.

Holy Crap.
It is 2:18am and I wanna write it ALL down while it is fresh...fuck...that 24 hour Diner across the street...not so 24 hours after all....asses....
I am spent my friends.
I belted the shit outta...the shit.
I have to watch that I don't fucking get the freaking vocal nodes...I was all singing "Home" in it's original key ...yes, from the Wiz...it was a request...fucking Stephanie Mills and her freak voice...I was singing that song with a big dude named Desmond...so nice and his friend Ricola...really...really..

..I bet he gets a lot of guff over that...anyhow...that was the END of the night.
The beginning started with me sitting at the bar at Birdland... after I had run 4 blocks from the Times Square subway station because the rain was wrecking my weave...I was meeting my PR person Don...he told me that if he was late that I should just talk to Jim Caruso, who runs the "Cast Party" night, and tell him I wanna sing.
Now I am going to tell you something that you might not believe...I am shy.
I really am.
In situations like that I am super shy.
But I did my best to be brave and step up...I did...he put me on the list to sing...he didn't know me...but he did it anyway.
When Don arrived, super nice guy by the way...and EVERYONE knows him...it is amazing...when he walks into a club it is like Norm from Cheers...one woman screamed out "Hey Don!" in the middle of "Don't Blame the Bossanova"...Don had a plan..yes, he did.
We sat at that bar for a while...a lot of performers got up, time ticked by and as performer after performer got up I got more nervous.
It is so much easier to do a WHOLE SHOW.
One song....is like doing one day on a TV show or a movie....font font font....(Say that like a fancy french person....)
The wait was just horrifying...the room was so packed and this would really be my first cabaret appearance in NY...I hoped to NOT cock it up...well, the longer I waited the more I came up with every horrible scenario...but when he did call me up...after some amazing performers...I was fit...just nerves...but I did the "Bohemian Rhapsody"...it went over.
Thank freaking jesus...Jim told me NO ONE has ever done that song...that was nice!
Oh lord...what a great moment...I got a ton of business cards...there were a couple Broadway producers in the house...it was a great time...
This is Jim Caruso and myself....

This is William Blake, who is not only a manager at Birdland, he is also a fantastic singer....

And this is Jenna Esposito, who runs the open mike at the swank Metropolitan Room...where I will be on Friday night!

Then we went to Don't Tell Mama...there is a great piano player named Joe Regan and we did a couple tunes...
I gotta tell you guys...the cabaret people who Don introduced me to COULD NOT be more welcoming...COULD NOT!!! Encouraging...taking the cards...that Don hands out...what a concept...not having to sell myself outside of performing...LUXURY!!
Then We got into a cab and we went to a very swanky gay club named "Town House" and that is what it is...the player there...a gentleman named Steven doesn't read music so we jammed on "Stop in the Name of Love" ....and then Desmond and Ricola asked for "Home" and now we are back where we started...I am pooped...what a night.
I am gonna sleep the eff in...I gotta pace myself...
I am so glad that went well...
I love it here.

World Domination Day 1....of to NY!

Wow. It is so much easier to fly on Porter.
(Where is my sponsorship, Porter?)
I am sitting in the super fancy waiting lounge ..I was two hours early...imagine.
It is so convenient, really.
(Again, sponsorship..)
I am just all a flutter.
I was up late packing after having a rehearsal in Niagara on the Lake with the young Wayne Gwillim...oh...the fun we had....
By the time we drove back and I packed the rest of my stuff it was late!
So, I slept for 6 hours and the last dream I remember is ...are you ready?...that I was Carrie from Sex and the City (one of my fashion influences...suck it...she is....) and I was on a ship that was going down...ug...but just before I exited the ship...fighting for my life...out on the deck to find Big (played in my dream by my fabu husband) I stood in front of a mirror clutching my strand of pearls, looking at my Audrey Hepburn hairdo
(I fucking kid you not!) and telling myself...are you sitting people?....
"Don't forget to smile and don't forget your style!"
Seriously!!!
I am a rhyming crazy lady, even in my dreams.
I don't know about the whole "ship going down" business...maybe stress...YA THiNK?
Anyhow, I woke to a long email from my PR dude Donald and he has my tonight all planned, he has me visiting Jim Caruso's Cast Party at 9:00pm, A quick PR meeting at 9:30pm to 10:00pm, Don't Tell Mama's next and if we have time a place called The Town House, a "chic gay piano bar!"...
I am just a bit overstimulated already.
What will I sing?
What will I say?
And most importantly...What will I WEAR?!?!?!?
George could not drop me off so I asked one of the fabulous Sharron's Army...a private actually, Sharron's Private...AHAHAH!!! Love that....I asked the dear Michael Hughes...who said yes RIGHT AWAY!!! What a good friend! He never stops helping the WD cause!!!

I am waiting...I am gonna read my trash novel now...there is a woman on the cover with a bodice ripper dress on....it is called "Taming the Highland Bride"....ooh my lord. There will be some sex, I am sure.
Here we go people!!!
You all helped to send me on this journey!
I thank you!
I will write every day...and take pictures...and when Wayne, Derrick and George get to NY...there will be video!!!
Stay Tuned!
Goodbye TO.
See you soon!

The Last two weeks of TV....series enders! BEWARE! Contains SPOILERS!

I really do.
I fucking love the TV.
I love that, growing up, my mother could be standing RIGHT BESIDE me asking me where my sister was and I didn't hear her at all....I have never had a problem escaping into the boobtube.
(I always thought that title was so titillating....hahhahah...

.AHAHAHAHHA! EFF off people, it is healthy to laugh...even at one's own jokes.)
I have been so wrapped up in the World Domination thing that I needed my TV escapes in the last couple weeks.
I have to say, I HAVE NOT been disappointed.
Only one small hiccup.
DO NOT READ ANY FARTHER IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE ENDINGS OF GREY'S, SURVIVOR, CELEB APPRENTICE OR LOST!!! I DO NOT WANT TO SPOIL THIS SHIT FOR YOU!
The Survivor Finale.

At the beginning of ever season I plant myself on the couch behind my computer and announce to my husband that I WILL NOT be watching this season. Then I watch it. I announce it EVERY time....except this season.
When I heard about the Villains versus Heroes....oh lord...I got so fucking excited!!!
It really fulfilled it's goal. Those villians were HORRIBLE. Awesomely Horrible.
Did you watch Danielle's fake boobs get more and more pronounced as she lost weight? They were GROSS!
And Parvati....every time she did that smile and that giggle/laugh... I turned to George and said "I hate that bitch."
But she played so well...
And I hated almost every snivelling little shit on the Heroes team...Rupert of the Gross Toe...he was a asshole of the first degree...
James...who I used to love...what a fucking abuser...and a control freak...and that stupid Amanda who cried over everything and had the balls to steal the idol from Danielle of the Wrinkle Boobs but did not have the "what for" to keep it.
And Colby...oh my god...what a mess...how did he stay till the end?
Hated the Heroes.
Hated!
BUT! I loved the Villains ....
Boston Rob...how the eff did you get kicked out...
Jerry... Loved her more than EVER!!!
Sandra...YOU DESERVED TO WIN!!!
Courtney!!!...You skinny bitch, I dug you...
Holy crap people...I even liked that doof Coach...
Who I didn't like...that gap tooth Russell....but it was AMAZING to see him get not ONE VOTE...it was also amazing to see how a person like him is delusional. He still thinks he should have won. Had no idea or refuses to accept that a GIRL like Parvati got the better of him.
I LOVED it when Sandra said that the only people who loved him were 5 people from his family who were in the audience.
I even question THAT!!!
Survivor FINALE= LOVED IT!!!!
The the next finale?
Grey's Anatomy.

Now George doesn't like hospital shows....and especially Grey's Anatomy...I suspect, though he has never said it...that it is the resemblance to a romance novel that offends him....the very thing that makes me love it...so I had the last two episodes in the PVR cue waiting for him to fall asleep on the couch...which he did after playing a long game of Prince of Persia.
I stole the controllers from around his sleeping form and booted that shit UP!!
I cannot even remember what happened in the second last episode....because it paled in comparison to the SLAUGHTER/Blood bath that was the Grey's Finale.
I ain't gonna lie to you...I had seen on twitter that everyone was saying "wow" and "holy crap" and "what the eff is happening?" in response to #greysfinale...and I was intrigued.
When it started and I saw that moustached dude walking down the halls of Seattle Grace I tucked in for a barn burner.
And then that bitchy doctor, Reid is it?, got shot through the head I screamed and George woke up... and he even became interested enough to watch it...
What a great episode...nothing like a good mass murder to tie up some loose ends....encourage people to love each other in the face of death (Arizona and Callie...Christina and Owen)...make people believe in themselves after a period of challenge ( Webber)...and get rid of some extra characters that were cluttered about (all those stinky Mercy doctors)
I loved watching Bailey break down when she realized that she couldn't help that shot Mercy doctor....never liked him, didn't learn his name...and sit there with Mandy Moore...I question why she was in that episode...I also freaked out when Bailey was dragged from underneath the bed...oh lord.
And Webber's monologue to the shooter...Derek's shooting...I knew that crappy weird girl doctor would get him shot...Meredith's pregnancy....It was an amazing episode...
Grey's Anatomy= LOVED IT!!!
Then the Holy Grail.
The Lost SERIES Finale.

I was worried, I am not going to lie to you people.
I was real worried.
I LOVE LOST!
This year I started happy and then got sad...I didn't know what the fuck they were doing...the Temple....bad Sayid....horribly wigged Claire, she a poopy actress, huh?....the sideways reality...I was more confused than ever...and ...I cannot believe I am going to say this...I considered that I might stop watching.... I KNOW!
But I had invested so much...I think the creators depended on this as they tied up a bunch of loose ends...Richard and the Black Rock ship in the middle of the island...the two people in the cave....I didn't even remember that...they had to flash back 4 years for that...Jacob and the other guy and the chick from the West Wing KINDA telling us how it all started....but not really...that Jacob looked like a dick, huh? Why Jack's dad walked...
BUT WTF with the Temple and they guy who pretended to NOT speak english?
WHAT THE EFF is the ISLAND!?!?!?
Oh, lord.
I was so confused...but I was ready to go the distance.
We got home at 12:30pm last night from an excellent party and I began to watch.
I gave up pretty quickly that there were gonna be any answers.
I let it go.
But I got sad.
I hate the ending of just about anything...a great movie, a good book....but I felt like I knew these people...that is the way I felt when I was young...when Edith died on All in the Family I was inconsolable. And here were all these people with loves and lives....SUCK IT PEOPLE...I have a tender heart!
I was proud of Hurley.
I was almost proud of Ben.
I tried to like Kate again...but it was hard...her character bugged the eff out me.
Why didn't Sawyer take off his shirt...but I was happy when he and Juliette met again...and Jian and Sun...and Shannon and Sayid...BOONE was there...Libby was there but I think they cut her scene with Hurley...Desmond and Penny....oh, the crying...I wept like a 4 year old...I had no idea what was going on....but I wept....
When did they die?
When their plane crashed?
When there stories ended....
Oh...the sadness...yes...
And then Kate changed her outfit!!!
WHY?!?!?!
And...where was Walt and Michael?
Though I was still confused...
Lost SERIES Finale=Loved it.
And then you know what happened?
I was too tired to watch Celeb Apprentice and flicked on TWITTER AND SOMEONE SPOILED IT!!!
I still haven't watched it....but I guess Brett Michels won.

Yes, this guy.
I quite enjoyed watching him on this show...I had never watched it before and George is responsible for the fact that I got sucked it...
I am just glad he beat that Holly Robinson Peete...I am happy that she is helping Autism...that doesn't make her any less a byotch.
Ah well, I guess one outta four ain't bad, really.
And now....what will happen?
How will I fill my evenings and wind down?
After the disastrous last season of "So You Think YOu CAn Dance...." I don't know if I can do it.
Sigh.
Time Well Spent.