Mean Girls...finally a still...after all these years.

I have always wanted a still shot of this movie...and this couldn't have been a better shot.
Thanks to Jennifer who found it.

Blythe, Hater, Effing Spence and Michael Buble!!!

Dear ALL!

I noticed that sometimes newpaper columnists publish a ‘catch-all’ column and I decided that since I hadn’t written anything that wasn’t a fricken self promotion in....5 years...that I wanted to pass on some random thoughts to you.

NUMBER 1.

I have ALSO noticed that a lot of my tweets are of the negative nature lately....I noticed this because I just wrote...about 5 minutes ago...

“I am feeling very thankful for this year. I would like to thank everyone who supported me and/or helped my on this freakin’ awesome adventure that I have begun....Haters? Suck it.”

Now. I looked at the “Suck it” part over and over again and wondered...did I want to put it out there?

It might be minorly (or as is always my hope, MAJORLY) humourous...but did I want to dilute...yes, I said it....dilute a positive message with a negative sentiment?....yes, Isaid that too.

I deleted the tweet...that sounds stupid...WOW! I was just negative to myself.

I think I am gonna try to tweet more positive....maybe it will change my life...maybe it will change the world....maybe people will just not find me funny...I guess I will just have to work harder at being funny and positive.

That sounds exhausting.

Number 2.

I have a spin teacher that looks like my friend, Blythe Wilson. From far away...the length of the spin room...she looks exactly like Blythe. She has been (Blythe) away on tour for a million years now. Sometimes I take this class just to feel like I spent an hour with Blythe....this is bit pathetic, I know....we all get our comforts where we may.

Number 3.

Why did Grey’s Anatomy stick Christmas decorations all over the set and pretend it was Christmas....but not really have a Christmas episode....they played Christmas music and all...that had nothing to do with the story line...and then (SPOILER ALERT) the lady from Spamalot slammed the door in the pretty blonde lady’s face.

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!?!? And is it done till next year?

Lord.

Number 4.

I love the Michael Buble clip I found on the old FB. If you haven't seen it the link is below. I remember that every concert I went to I always wondered what would happen if I was brought up onstage...I wished it...I hoped for it...I dressed for it.

I STILL DO!!!

The non dreamers of the world said it would never happen...well, this proves that you should be ready for anything and everything...and be open to it!!! You never know what may happen.

http://wimp.com/michaelbuble/

Number 5.

I am going to London, England in January for the first time in my life...and I am going by myself...I am staying with friends when I get there...but I think I will be running around a bit on my own. I am a bit nervous...I am a bit excited. I am going to find a place to do my show. I am fucking excited.

Number 6.

I plan to make this the best Christmas ever.

Number 7.

I am not sure how I plan to do number 6 but I will figure it out....I did start by taking George to the Distillery

for Hot Chocolate...we bought one for 5 Bucks at Soma and hated it...we bought one for 3 bucks at Balzacs...it was awesome...just saying.

Number 8.

YOU also can make it the best Christmas ever....unless you don’t celebrate it...then you can make it the best December EVER by coming to see my Holiday show at the Toronto Centre on Thursday, December 16th....Bravura will be opening the show...my husbands group...three baritones...Curtis Sullivan, Lawrence Cotton and George...they are awesome.

www.tocentre.ca

OR you came come to my ‘Sharron’s Big Broadway Show’ on Saturday December 18th in Oakville at the Oakville Centre for the Arts.

https://secure1.tixhub.com/oakville/procurement/

Number 9.

See what I did there in number 8? I remain unashamed.

Number 10.

And, finally, I would like to thank Spence Diamonds for launching the meanest-spirited-Mean-Girls campaign ever at Christmas time....way to make lonely people feel EVER WORSE!!!

FUCK OFF!!!

Hope all are well, except for Spence Diamonds.

Christmas and Broadway....what a lordy bunch of stuff!!

OKAY!!!
I KNOW!!!
I AM THE CABARET GIFT that keeps on giving...by promoting...and promoting...and promoting BUT A GAL HAS GOTTA DO HER THANG....thing....no wait....thang.
Definitely thang.
I have two shows coming up and then I will not be back to Toronto till...well, I am gonna be absolutely honest....my next show that is even near TO in next May.
I am fully booked till the end of May....and there are irons in the fire across the pond till September after that....so I honestly DO NOT KNOW when I will be back...and I shit you not!
From January till March (after I go to London on a fact finding and producer meeting mission in early January) I have a secret, to-be-named project....fuck I wish I could tell you....it is HUGE HUGE HUGE....and this project takes up ALL the rest of January, February and most of March and then I , thankfully, have one nighters all over Ontario and one in Moosejaw, bitches....Saskatchewan ain't never seen the likes of me!!
I am booked at Theatre Aquarius in May for two weeks...and I am full on looking forward to working in my hometown....telling people stories with their real names in it.

OKAY....so here we go...these are my final dates in Toronto for at least a year.

On December 16th I am doing my fave show....
Sharron's CHRISTMAS/HOLIDAY Party
at the Toronto Centre in the gorgeous little studio theatre...I last saw "Title of Show" there are LOVED IT! My husband's baritone trio, Bravura, is opening for me...they are handsome and dreamy!
And the FABU Chris Tsujiuchi will be playing PEOPLE! We may even sing together!
It is a intimate room and tickets are going SO BUY THEM now...everyone says this show gets them into the season...whatever your season may be!
There will be holiday cheer....tons of laughs...something for everyone really...as I have said...this has long been my fave show.
Below is the poster and below that the link to the website where you can buy tickets!

http://www.tocentre.com/

And next, two days later on December 18th (Saturday) at the beautiful Oakville Centre for the Arts in their studio theatre I will be doing my other fave show...
Sharron's Big Broadway Show...
it is the story of how I got to where I am...sad and happy....fun and sometimes...well, come and see for yourself.

I got asked to write a Broadway themed show for myself and so I did it in my way...with a Les Mis Medley that tells you all about the show in 3 minutes...my fateful meeting with Bette Midler....John Travolta...working with Hal Prince....it takes you backstage, to the dressing rooms....audition studios in New York....movie sets....it goes EVERYWHERE!
And I sing songs from "Guys and Dolls", "Title of Show", "Steel Pier", "Hello Dolly", "Wild Party"...so many...and you know how musicals can get you in the Christmas mood....well, this about covers it....oh the fun we will have!
Below is a poster (I changed the show title....this is a bit old timey) and a link to the ticket website!
Come on out!!!

https://secure1.tixhub.com/oakville/procurement/


This may be it for a while people!!!
I would love to see you!
Thanks for reading....thanks for your support...and all the best for the season!

Sharron Matthews Superstar

So, sometimes...I enjoy spending a whole day editing a video....I know, I know....it is geeky....
You know what is amazing? After you watch yourself on video for a while you kind give yourself up to your flaws....perceived and otherwise...sometimes the angle is bad and the joke is good....which thing do you think I go for?
I have to say that this was some of the most fun I have ever had making a vid.
I had not even had the time to watch the Scotland footage yet...FROM THREE months ago...and I am always worried...but George did such a great job....FREEHAND, people!
I enjoyed doing my show for two weeks in Edinburgh.
I learned so very much...and I relaxed into it...there was so many other things to worry about besides the show that the show itself was a rest!
And looking at the fabulous backdrop on the iconic Joe's Pub stage made me cry....and then looking at the SOLD OUT (yes, bitches, SOLD OUT is ALWAYS in caps) show I did at the Young Centre this summer...made me happy....I went all "joss stone" barefoot...and my boobs look huge.
Just being honest.
And then there was the awesome footage from the CD Release this weekend!!!
The audience this weekend was full of people I love, adore and thank for their constant support!
Louise and Joe, Joan Mathers, that crazy Mary Walsh, that pretty Paula Brancati, the producing duo of Derrick Chua and the new associate Dean at Sheridan Michael Rubinoff, my John Austin and the fabulous Chris Lorway (who even came to my show when he was in Edinburgh though he has seen it here one million times), Shawn Hitchens (who is coming the the Ed FRINGE next year!) and his beau Matthew...Peter Phoa, Michael G, Joni and John, Gillian....Ari's Bubie, Francis, my fabulous party Ladies, Shelley, Constance, Sasha and Petra...and Peter, their Designated Driver....Kyle, Sara, Gabi, Kimball, Rob, Joy, Gordon, Eric, Dan, Robyn...so many people...so many friends...oh and Brendan and Gregory came....
And my guests were amazing....James Levesque singing '50 Percent' and Jeigh Madjus belting out 'Firework'...I felt very lucky.
Coming to Buddies is always like coming home.
I love it there....Shawn, Erika, Chrystal, Patricia, Glen, Chris, Michael, Paul...Jazz, who makes us sound so great...and takes care of us.
I was just so thankful for the fabulous year I have had....thankful to have Wayne play and reinvent songs I have been doing for years...making them fresh, new and awesome. Wayne Gwillim is just the awesomest!
Doing this video reminded me of all the fabulous things I have accomplished and experienced this year....and how much I still want to do...I love a good promo...check it out...pass it along!
Have a great day all!
Thanks for reading and for following!
Love
Sharron xoxoxo

15 Songs, Tagging and my effing CD RELEASE

Okay...I am not sure what you call these lists and puzzles that people send you on Facbebook...but I don't usually do them...I remove them...because I just don't wanna be tagged. Yup, I said it. And I hate those fucking farms....

Then someone who NEVER TAGS ANYONE...someone I call Grampa....someone you might know as Steve Ross TAGGED ME WITH THIS!

I was a bit surprised and then I read it....I intrigued...yes, intrigued.

I thought in honour of my upcoming CD Release...did you know that I was doing a CD Release?...I thought in honour of that I would do this thing...and the thing was.....

15 Songs about You

First rule - be honest! Don't keep shuffling forward for "cooler" songs. This is a 'getting to know you' exercise. Once you've been tagged...

(1) Turn on your MP3 player or music player on your computer.

(2) Go to SHUFFLE mode.

(3) Write down the first 15 songs that come up - title and artist. NO editing/cheating, please.

(4) Choose 25 people to be tagged, including me. Because people love being tagged, even if they say they don't.

So, here is what happened on my itunes...after I spent 15 minutes trying to figure out how to 'shuffle' my list.

1. Just Another Day - Next To Normal Soundtrack....yup, a musical theatre song....I was as surprised as you.

2. Jessie's Girl - Live Cover by Everclear....I found this while looking for ALL the recordings of Jessie's Girl for musical inspiration. Did you read anything about Rick Springfield's biography?...he like the sex...and had plastic surgery by the time he was 23....oh Dr. Noah Drake...how I loved you.

3. Hanging By a Moment- Lifehouse....I do love this tune...I still wanna do it...for the record...ahah the record...I wanna do EVERY song that I love...one day I turned to George with horror in my eyes and he asked me what was wrong....I said, "There are so many songs....how will I sing them all?"

4. Smooth Criminal - cover by Alien Antfarm...I love this song...again...and I love the beat....it drives..and I love the guitar...it "shreds" as the young people say.

5. I Heard It Through the Grapevine - Gladys Knight and the Pips....I won't call it a cover, because it feels like that would be wrong...though Marvin Gaye's was wonderful this one has the effing best movement of the two...in my opinion....don't freak out or get mad....it is just my opinion. Sidebar: Did you know that Gladys has a gambling addict and because she and the Pips spent a great deal of time performing in Vegas she gambled away all of her money...and it was so bad that the Pips left her...I saw it on A and E. Sad. But I think she got help.

6. 32 Flavours - Ani DiFranco....OKAY.... I LOVE THIS SONG....Jason Knight taught me about Ani...and one of my tour bus drivers on the Les Miserables tour I did told me that he drove her and her band whenever they were on tour and that she was the nicest person in the world. I love this. More often that not you hear stars are assholes....or witness it firsthand.

7. I Feel Love- Donna Summer....the track that led Donna away from the church and then back again and then, sadly and madly to the controversial and horrible comment she made...."God made Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve" alienating and hurting her biggest and most loyal fans....remember that? It keeps her in my "Unhappy with you" books...but I do love her music. God, this track goes on forever....like a cocaine fueled party.

8. I Make the Dough, You Get the Glory - Kathleen Edwards...I can't remember why I bought this album...going back to look at the songlist...oh ya! I saw her play at the Horseshoe a long time ago and loved her tunes...a bit country but I like and she a Canuck!

Cool lyric alert "You're cool and (a word I can't figure out) like Fogerty, I'm Elvis Presley in the Seventies, I am a Ford Tempo you're a Maserati....."

9. Driftin'- Bricklin Soundtrack by Allen Cole ....this summer my husband went to Theatre New Brunswick to do the Premiere of the musical 'Bricklin' with music written by the fabulous Allen Cole....I didn't get to go out and see it but it got huge national media coverage and I was happy to see it got a big article in the New York Times Auto section...can you fucking take it? Best part was George brought back the Cd at the end of the summer and this was my fave track...sung by George himself playing Premier Richard Hatfield....he is dreamy...George.

10. Just Not Now - Patricia Zentilli and Patti Loach... Oh lord I love this album. Sometimes, when I am home by myself and writing or working I put this CD on and breathe in Patty's gorgeous voice and Patti's lucious piano....and this track is one of my faves. I love me some Patty-i's

11. Fake Your Way to the Top- Dreamgirls- Movie Soundtrack...I LOVE DREAMGIRLS!!! Anyone who knows me knows this fact....and I am torn between this version...because I adore Eddie Murphy and wish he had won the Oscar....and the Bway Soundtrack because it sung by Clevant Derricks, the original James Thunder...who I did a workshop with in Banff....did I mention that I was in Banff this month?

Me and Clevant

12. Crying - Roy Orbison- Holy Crap this guy sings the absolute fuck outta this song. I also love kd's cover of this ....for the record....she sings the fuck outta that as well.

13. You're My Best Friend - Queen...what need I say? Oh, I can say that I thought it was a commercial jingle before I became musically savvy....if I am indeed musically savvy.

14. Sexual Healing- Marvin Gaye....I think this is Marvin from the grave reminding me how fucking cool he is after I dissed his "Grapevine" earlier on this list...do you remember the video....of Marvin and a nurse...this scenario is repeated quite often in porn...I have heard.

15. Memories- Ms. Barbra Streisand....I didn't know that I owned this....where the fuck did this come from...did you see her on Oprah this week? Did you see Robert Redford...he seems like a fucking ass...did you notice how they came back from commercial and he was just gone...I think this song is....I am afraid to say.

So, that is my 15.

If I have tagged you...please forgive me...but I do love this exercise.

I learned a bit about Grampa....fuck, he love the theatre tunes...and a little about myself.

Please come out to my CD release show...it will be a a Party...a EFFING PARTY!....we will have fun!

I rehearsed with the band yesterday...the young Wayne Gwillim and the NEW TO MY SHOWS and fabulous Sly Juhas....his name is SLY! And he could not be cooler, nicer or more inspired.

We are gonna rock the shit!

Don't forget that each night has a SURPRISE GUEST BITCHES!!!

This Friday November 26th and Saturday November 27th @ Buddies in Bad Times. Doors at 7:30pm and Show at 8:00pm....tickets are $20.00 with a $15 Student price. You can call Buddies Tuesday to Saturday between the hours of Noon to 5:00pm.

See you SOON!!!

Oh and here is a link to my PROMO VIDEO for the show starring myself and Wayne Gwillim on keys....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GCN4DT4OCSg

Sharron's CD Release TEASER!!!

See you next Friday the 26th or Saturday the 27th at the big CD Release...until then? Wayne and I mix it up....UNPLUGGED!

Lake SHORE?!?!? What the eff????

Oh. my. god.

So, I, like any other pop culture/ reality show lover (judge me if you will, I don’t give a poop) was very interested in the phenom that was “Jersey Shore”...anyone that would nickname themselves “The Situation” must be good for at least a couple watches....okay maybe one. Of course, I found myself a bit intrigued by the small, drunk, orange, boofie haired, potty mouthed Snookie. But it wore out...not for my friend Wayne...but there you go.
I am up early this morn and turn on Aretha (my computer) and there is an article in the paper about a show called “Lake Shore”...my heart begins to be sad...it is about young people, 20 somethings, in Etobicoke...I think...they didn’t really specify WHERE the lakeshore is...maybe it is Clarkson ( I am gonna stop myself from rhyming off all the stops on the GO train).
It seems to be important that they are all of different ethnicities...I got this list from The Star... I have added some of own thoughts in italics....

Sibel Atlug (“The Turk”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Bossy and controversial Quote: “People love to hate me.” (Can’t wait.)

Karolina Czaja (“The Pole”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Self-proclaimed heartbreaker Quote: “My strength is loyalty.” (The first time I read this I thought she had nicknamed herself “The Pope”...I find that the fact that she is loyal and a self proclaimed heartbreaker a bit at odds with each other...non? Girls are so fickle.)

Joey Violin (“The Italian”) Age: 21 Modus operandi: Happy-go-lucky, shies away from conflict Quote: “Number 1 wop, baby. That’s what it’s all about.” ( oh my...his name smells of mobster....doesn’t it....do you think they made it up? I didn’t know there was a number one....what he said...good to know....)

Anni Mei Nguyen (“The Vietnamese”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Sales rep by day and go-go dancer by night Quote: “I’m very animated. I’m very cartoony.” (This is so many things....it is almost....my brain is imploding...it is almost like wanting to be either a brain surgeon or a cheerleader when you grow up....but not. And I love that she seems to think“Cartoony” is a giggly compliment to herself)

Tommy “Hollywood” Lis (“The Czech”) Modus operandi: Serial dater Quote: “Everyday is a Saturday night.” (Who fucking gives themselves a middle name...someone I know went to school with a girl who walked up to them one day and said that she wanted everyone to call her “Crackers”...even got it on a Tshirt...was Rex Smith on the front of that Tshirt...was that girl me? NO!)

Salem Moussallam (“The Lebanese”) Age: 24 Modus operandi: Fashionista Quote: “On my free time, I like to go shopping.” (Bored)

Robyn Perza (“The Jew”) Age: 20 Modus operandi: Loud and blunt Quote: “I’m my own boss.” (Again, bored....loud and blunt are my two favourite things..oh wait....)

Arber Daci (“The Albanian”) Age: 23 Modus operandi: Always at the clubs Quote: “I’m always downtown: Friday, Saturday, Thursday maybe, Sunday possibly.” (Oh ya, I met this guy on my vacation in Cuba...he vomitted on the beach and then tried to kiss me and feel my boob....I was 22 at the time, of course...don’t we all know this guy?)

So that is the line up....and this is the kind of TV we can expect.... this “The Turk” person was quoted in The Star as saying....

“I’m not racist because I hate everybody equally. Especially Jewish people,”

Can you still say that?
Could you EVER SAY THAT?
And it is going to be on TV.
I remember watching my first episode of American Gladiator many years ago and thinking “Oh lord, the end of the world is coming.....”
And here we are...
Now, you all know I love my TV...and I love Survivor ... Hoarders ... Say Yes to The Dress....any number of reality shows...so, this is a bit hypocritical, I know...but I do think the low budget, crappier copy of Jersey Shore is a BAD BAD IDEA.
VERY BAD IDEA.
Remember when you could turn on a TV show and know right away if it was Canadian or not?
Well, looking at this picture for the show takes us back about one million years... move over HOBO!



Here are my thoughts....

A: Why are they in their bikinis in a pool? This is freakin’ Toronto....it is cold more than half of the year....not super cold...but not open toed shoe weather for cripes sake. (I think I am gonna work ‘for cripes sake’ back into my life...I love it.)

B: Do you see the girl with her legs around the guys neck...have some self respect, lady.

C: Couldn’t they have found a better font for the titles? There is the freakin’ interweb now....fabulous FONTS FOR EVERYONE!!!! It is like a font from my grade 6 science project about frogs...I had to do a project about frogs because I passed out everytime we dissected them and missed the dissection part. Harsh....but not as HARSH AS THIS FONT!

D: Not that I watched too many episodes....one or two...but it looks like they are trying to re create the ENTIRE Jersey Shore cast...That girl in the upper right corner looks like ‘J Wow’...yes, that is her name...and the girl in the middle with the blue bathing suit looks like shades of Snookie...all the guys look like ‘The Situation’...it is like when they would recast big musicals here in Canada partially based on if you fit the predecessors’ costume and shoes.

E: Who took this picture....my mother? On our old Kodak with the flash that turned when you used it...was that only twenty years ago? Technology is scary....but NOT AS SCARY AS THIS PICTURE.

So, it will be sexist ...racist ...slutty ...stereotypical ...moronic ...and setting an example for our young people.

Wow.
J Wow.
There is an trailer....I hesitate to put the link up...I am walking away and watering my plants and thinking about it.....

Alright...I am gonna put it up...with RESERVATION!!! You will crap.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pSG3LXU60Vc

Oh lord.
I can’t wait to hear your thoughts.

Can you fucking believe it....it is American Gladiator all over again.

If I say Banff one more time...and Bump it.

Dear All,

My husband is very sweet....he is so sweet that He listens to every inane story that I have to tell over and over and just smiles and gives me a hug....I imagine he is rolling his eyes indulgently in his mind...he always seems interested.

BUT...I think if he hears me say "You know what happened in Banff?" one more time he might murder me.

He has never expressed that this phrase was a problem...but I have said it one million times and today I told him a story and he said, "Did that happen in Banff?"...now I don't think he was making fun of me...he is such a good man...but I wonder....

Oh, before I get any farther in this story I want you all to know that I went to Staples today to get my flyers printed...WORLD DOMINATION Week 44 BITCHES!!!...and I walked by the "As Seen On TV" section...and I saw the thing some call the "Bump it".

It is a contraption that makes you look like you have high hair, Jersey hair....Snookie hair...I have long watched the TV commercial and I gotta tell you...I was intrigued.

I could not help myself

I bought one.

What the eff...I wonder if it will work...STAY TUNED.

BANFF!!!

Ah yes....what an amazing place....my god...the first day I was so overstimulated by the surrounding mountains that I almost had an anxiety attack...but I LOVE the view....

And this was the view out of the rehearsal hall window....

How the fuck did we get anything done??? How??? I ask you!

The cast was fantastic...a great mix of Canadians and Americans....and that hack Adam Brazier.

Patty Jamieson and I climbed and walked all over that freakin' place...then there was that deer outside our window...who when I waved at him ( yes, I waved) he laid down....

Absolutely NO sense of self preservation, what so ever.

The Banff Centre was a joy....so effing gorgeous...every artist in Canada should get the chance to work there. Thanks to Kelly Robinson for bringing me out!

Now, here is my fave part....besides the fabulous show...Innocence, written by the fabulous British team of Alasdair Middleton and Jonathan Dove...some of the hardest stuff I have had the pleasure to try and master...there was one day that I screwed it up so badly in front of Jonathan that I mouthed "I am sorry" in the middle of the scene. They were such great guys!

My fave part....besides the fun I had with one Rachel Neuberger and one Patty Jamieson...that girl knows how to have fun!!!

My FAVE THING....meeting and working and eating with fantastic Liz Ward, John Cunin and Beth McVey...OH.and the young Jade Padua....

THAT DICK BINSLEY IS AWESOME!

Okay my fave part...besides the wine I drank....like a sailor....and the fun I shared with one Arbender and one Carly...those two know how to make a Canadian gal laugh...and then pull out all her best bits....

ALRIGHT!

Here is my fave part!

When I was 14 ( bear with me) I sat in front of my television and watched the Tony awards.

I watched Angela Landsbury introduce Dreamgirls...then I watched her sing "I am Tell You"...and was obsessed...I bought the RECORD!!! THE L freaking P.

And listened to it OBSESSIVELY!

My fave part of THAT? One James Thunder Early...as played by Tony Winner Clevant Derricks.

He stole that album....and when I saw the show on tour and he wasn't in it...DISAPPOINTED.

I have all of his ism's and vocals from that record in my brainstem.

So, first day of rehearsal of Innocence, in walks this guy...he says hi to everyone...and I freak out inside.

Patty asks me if I am alright.

I say yes.

It is him.

Clevant Derricks.

Two time Tony winner...he was in freakin' Moscow on the Hudson....and so many other things...but when he started singing I almost cried.

He is the lovliest of gentlemen.

Just the loveliest.

There was a moment that I was sitting offstage and a young man, one Arbender, started to sing his solo and it was so gorgeous and I looked out the window and there were mountains...and I turned and there was Clevant sitting beside me smiling...and I did cry...a little.

I felt the magic of theatre.

Anything is possible.

It is such a gift that I get to be a part of it.

I KNOW!

It sounds GAYLORDY!!!

But it is true...thanks universe.

Clevant Derricks and me.

OH YA!!!

So, I have my CD release in just over two weeks!!!

I am very excited!

It features some of fave pieces....I just said pieces...all fancy.

It is gonna be all old school...and new school!

I have some shit to talk with all of you about...I have missed you...I have missed Buddies!

It feels like forever!

Come and celebrate this CD with me...and we'll talk ....if you have specific questions you would like answered or things you would like to chat about send me an email and I will do my best to work it into the show!!!

Friday November 26th and Saturday November 27th @ Buddies in Bad Times at 8:00pm doors at 7:30pm.

Call Buddies Box Office at #416 975 8555 from Tuesday to Saturday (Noon to 5:00pm) or go the Box office at 12 Alexander Street and pick them tickets up!!!

WE are gonna pack this shit out!!!

Also, Georgie...my sweet George has a show this Friday night (the 12th) of his fantastic baritone Trio Bravura (fancy!) at the Rosedale Presbyterian Church 129 Mount Pleasant Road at South Drive...it is really amazing to hear these guys sing together!

So, how is that for an eff load of info?!?!?!

I await your emails!

"Sharron Matthews: I Have a CD!" CD Release Party!

Sharron Matthews: I Have A CD! CD Release Party!!!!
You may ask yourself, was the first leg of "Sharron Matthews Superstar: World Domination Tour" a success? Huh.

“Matthews sings with attitude and humour in a show that has more musical surprises and mood swings than a foul-mouthed episode of 'Glee'. World Domination beckons.” Three Weeks Edinburgh

“Not only was this show a complete and utter triumph on all counts, but serves as testament to the fact that a chanteuse as riveting and brilliant as Matthews proved on this night should wholeheartedly be welcomed to New York and elsewhere with unabashedly open arms.” Nite Life Exchange

and the simple.....

"How f**cking good are you?!" Kate Copstick, The Scotsman


SUCCESS!!! World Domination can be exhausting but Sharron is BACK and ready to party!! AND this gal has a CD to sell, featuring some of her favourite tunes from all of her years SO FAR as Toronto's "Downtown Diva"! She is back at Buddies and, holy crap, has she got some stories to tell!! Scotch pies, Seth Rudetsky's radio show, handing out flyers in the Fringe line in the freaking RAIN, singing at Birdland, the Metropolitan Room, the Iguana and of course, Joe's Pub...how a lot of shows in Scotland featured naked people, Ben Vereen...so many things to say! It has been too long!


Friday November 26th and Saturday November 27th
Doors @ 7:30pm Show @ 8:00pm
@ Buddies in Bad Times Theatre, Tallulah's Cabaret
12 Alexander Street, Toronto.
Box Office (Tuesday to Saturday) #416 975 8555
Tickets $20.00 Students $15.00
www.sharronmatthews.com Follow Sharron on twitter @sharronmatthews

Hoarders and the Hereafter! FOR SHAME!!

Okay, Hoarders is coming on....So, I only have a few minutes.

I fucking walked the land of Banff today like that Lewis and Martin....who were fabulous adventurers...I think...or was it Lewis and Clark....whatever....I guess Lewis and Martin are adventureres in a way....if that movie starring Kevin Bacon and Colin Firth is to be believed....was Kevin Bacon in that? WHATEVER.

I am still not used to the low oxygen...which is a bit fucked...it feels like when I smoked...but this place is gorgeous at EVERY TURN....here are some pics....

This is Beth, Myself and Patti with the Banff Springs in the background!

Then there is this...

Anyhoops...I went with Patti and our friend Rachel to see the “Hereafter” movie...because that nice young man, Matt Damon, is in it.

First of all, Matt Damon was in TWO of the trailers...what the fuck...take a break..save some work for the rest of the world. Like, where the fuck is that naked, bongo playing Matthew McConnaghy? Huh?

Second of all....EVERYONE involved in getting that movie to the theatres should take a shower...a shower of shame....holy fuck...what a piece of CRAP!!!

Oh my god....I tried not to make the noise of the disbelieving during the TWO HOURS AND FIFTEEN MINUTES of my life I paid 10 dollars to have stolen from me.

Okay, Hoarders has started so if I get distracted....how many cats does that lady have?? TWENTY?!?!?....any way...I almost fell asleep one hundred times.

I kinda wanted to punch Bryce Dallas Howard. Punch her.

She was so whimpering.

OH MY GOD, THAT PERSON”S STOVE IS COVERED IN CAT POO.

And at the end when Clint Eastwood’s name came up at the end I thought....okay...I said out loud... “FOR SHAME CLINT EASTWOOD....For shame.”

We could not come up with one nice thing to say about it...NOT ONE.

Do not spend the money....it was as slow moving as old timey Heinz ketchup....no SLOWER.

Oh my god....Hoarders is getting to the good part .....gotta go!

What the eff has happened to me?

I did something today that I have NEVER done in my life.

After I got on the plane to fly to Banff...I am out here doing a workshop of a musical...for 13 days...when the hell does that ever happen!? And for that matter when the hell do I get flown anywhere to be fancy...expenses paid...thank you goddess...ya...I said it....where the hell was I? OH ya.

After I got on the plane to fly to Banff I opened my book (one of those kooky Rebus novels) and realized something...

I had no idea where I was going.

I mean, I knew I was going to the Banff Centre but it had all been arranged by someone else...which, I gotta tell you, fucking rocks...but it occurred to me that the Banff Centre would be quite huge.

Would the driver know where I was going...I trustingly went into the world with no fucking idea where I was going....NOT LIKE ME AT ALL.

But I decided that it would be okay and that I wouldn't worry about it...AGAIN, NOT LIKE ME AT ALL.

I ended up sitting directly in front of some of my Toronto neighbours...nice...was flirted with by a ginger newfie steward (can I say that? It just occurred to me that might not be PC...the steward and/or the newfie part....please advise, all) who's accent was so thick I could barely understand him...he then knocked an entire diet coke in my lap...he moved on pretty quickly after that...and I tried to sop it up in the airplane bathroom....which is so small you can barely take care of your business....if you know what I mean.

Let me say it here...I don't care how quirky your flight staff is...how happy they are...how much they own the fucking company...if you can't wash your hands in the bathroom without getting drenched from the finger bowl sized sink IT DOESN'T count as a good flight experience.

Anyhows...the ride into Banff was glorious...the sun was shining...so bright. It doesn't shine like this in Ontario....yes, I said it.

Everyone was very kind to me, getting me to my very nice room.

I looked into the closet and saw two plush white robes hanging up.

I circled them.

I closed the door.

You see people. When I am a bigger girl these robes never fit and I didn't want to squish my joy.

I went and got my artist's card which gives me use of everything here...the gym, the pool, the library...THE LIBRARY!

I went to the Vista, which is the place where one eats...it is a really, really, really, nice cafeteria....and I slid my little card through a reader and then there was a buffet...you will all be happy to know that I managed to control myself.

Buffets are so hard.

The whole room is surrounded in glass....and the glass is surrounded by mountains....I took this pic just outside the doors to the room...

I almost passed out.

So fucking gorgeous.

OH and I still have NO idea who is in the cast...at all...it is like theatrical survivor...all the tables were full of artists...I know none of them....a gal named Amy from Detroit sat down at my huge table and struck up a conversation...she is on a self directed writing retreat....holy crap...that sounds AMAZING!!!

I am very excited.

I came back to my super nice room...and opened the closet and pulled out the robe with the same abandon and trust that has ruled this trip thus far.....

Oh yes, It is a good day...

Tom Hanks, Fall Trip and Giving the Finger.

It has been a while and it is late at night but I gotta write this down before I ferget it...yes...in my stories sometimes I will use a redneck acccent...not sure why...maybe just tired...just like how I have decided it might be fun to do some of my shows with a british accent.

I will think better of this in the morning.

Where the fuck was I?

Oh ya.

So, one of my fave scenes in a movie...do not judge me people...see me through first...then judge...one of my fave scenes from a movie is the final scene in Castaway where Tom Hanks is standing on a bright sunshiny, warm day at a crossroads in the country...he is standing at of the hood of his car with a map and trying to figure out where to go.

So many possibilities.

An adventure.

George and I found ourselves with a day free...and because I had just divulged this info while watching the end of Castaway on AMC (it is a fucking classic now...fuck me.) with George...we decided that a fall adventure would be in order...no map...rent a car because ours is untrustworthy on long distance drives...pack a small bag and throw that and the dogs in the car and go.

I was so fucking excited I could spit.

Tyson wasn't convinced.

The day was glorious.

We talked, sang, laughed...sat in blissful, companionable silence sometimes.

We just drove.

We walked on the Bruce Trail, we drove thru Wasaga Beach.....which was just a ghost town...no wonder, the season is over...but I had such great memories of going there when I was a kid...it is so different now.

My mom used to somehow afford to bring the family up to a cottage for a week every summer for about 5 years when I was growing up.

I loved it.

Going there all these years later...telling George all about it and then driving into this boarded up summer town was strange.

We split a burger and fries at a diner called "50's and 60's Diner."...well, at least they are direct.

There was tons of 50's and 60's stuff on the walls...and a Harry Potter poster...and our waitress was named Ophelia.

We got back into the car and drove to Collingwood....

The best thing about adventure?

George saw the name of a road he liked and we turned down it...we came to the end...and there was this place...

It looks like it will be a condo project...but now it is lakefront... and empty.

It was a bit fabulous....spooky and wonderful.

And we ran around with the dogs....

Tyson found this catfish skull....

George and the dogs played and played while I took pics ....

I peed on the side of a rock.

No picture here.

It got dark so fast...back in the car...

Then George said he wanted Italian food...at and old style Italian restaurant...and when he said that we were in the middle of nowhere...on a county road...it was dark...

And I remembered a sign I had spied on the way up that morning along a two lane highway....

Yes!!! Oh yes.

It was so good.

The day was so good.

It really was.

Today...we drove to Ikea...an adventure in itself...in patience...

And we got cut off by some fucking wanker on the Gardiner (WILL THE FUCKING CONSTRUCTION IN THIS TOWN EVERY STOP?) ...he sped ahead of us...but in true Sharron Matthews, hang onto the anger, fashion...I watched him...I clocked him...and when George finally passed him...ten minutes later.... I opened up the window, leaned out, and gave him the finger LONG AND HARD....

George say, "You know there is a cop behind us right?"

Me say (as I look out the rear view mirror), "Holy fuck."

They ( the police) remain behind us for the next 10 minutes getting closer and closer to us.

George has me convinced that I am going to jail.

When they finally pass us and I cannot even look at them George says, "In a small way I kinda hoped they would pull us over....maybe you might stop doing that..."

Why he gotta curb my aggressive passenger seat expressions of....myself.

Like that would stop me.

Oh, I do love an adventure.

Happy Thanksgiving from October 12th 2009

I don't think I have ever done this before...but someone emailed me and asked me to repost this from last year!!
How nice is that....thanks for asking....here it is....

Happy Day...Thanks!

Thanksgiving is like New Years to me.
I always find myself....at some point in the day...remembering what the day was like when I was growing up...the house we lived in...my family...how cold it was outside, the kind of cold that if you went for a walk without your coat your skin got tight and dry. We had a ton of trees around the house, so the leaves were gorgeous.
Today, I find myself a bit melancholy.
Sigh.
There was something so fabulous about being a kid on "two day" Thanksgiving.
That Sunday and Monday...I never knew which was the real day...and I did not give a crap because we got another day off of school.
But it was still the beginning of the school year...so anything was still possible...I could still become cool...I could still get the part I wanted in the school play (note: I DID not get Dorothy in the all-white version of The Wiz...I played the Wicked Witch with a purple afro wig...that is ALL kinds of wrong). AND it was the beginning of the Holidays...the countdown to Christmas had begun.
I loved waking up in the morning and smelling the Turkey that would cook all day...and yet somehow would only end up half cooked due to the fact that my Stepfather had installed the oven incorrectly.
The house was warm.
Warm with family.
Even though mine was weird as all get out...I think everyone's was a little weird...I felt like we were the family in a black and white picture for that one day.
With the green Tupperwear bowl that contained the 'salad'...which was a head of iceberg lettuce ripped in half...and the plate of cranberries...which was still in the shape of the can.
The TV playing CFL football...I think there were two teams with the same name...and we only had 9 teams for christsake...the Roughriders...how gay is that name in retrospect?
My grama doing macrame in the corner in her yellow velveteen chair.
My sister Gwen coming over...I loved it when she came over from her 'married' house...bringing me a cool outfit that she had made me on her sewing machine.
It wasn't too exciting a day.
Just exciting enough.
I would get mashed potatoes.
I love mashed potatoes.
To this day I have to control the impulse to fill my entire plate with them.
The potato?
My nemesis.
And my dear sweet lover.
I feel melancholy because a couple of years ago I came to the obvious yet startling realization that I could never go back to that time.
When everything was possible and I was still someone else's responsibility.
Sigh.
I am thankful for all that is and that will be.
And remembering all that was.
Happy Thanksgiving.