Oh lord!

I miss vacation already....but if you click the video of the palm trees underneath the sweet puppy you can see what we saw~

It will never ..... never be summer!

It effing snowed today...made me want to hit something with my booted foot.

But, still, I have been riding my bike back and forth to rehearsal....

Home at lunch to take care of sweet Otto.

He is my schnauzer.... he is 15 years old....and he is sick.

It makes me sigh and it makes me just ......

He is the best dog....

He has humped some of the best legs....

He has foraged from the garbages of some of the best homes...

He has dipped his paws in both oceans....

He has pooped on both coasts....

He has peed in almost all of the states and provinces.... Can't say how happy they were about that in Tennesse....

He had the runs there.....

His lovely presence in our lives has always figured in our decisions about whether to take jobs or not....

It even was part of our decision to move...

People have made fun of us because of that........

I say....

You don't know what it is like to know Otto...

We are laying together on the couch and eating carrots and watching the Notebook with Gena Rowlands....

For the record, we thought we wouldn't but, Otto and I both cried... we think that movie is sad.

 

SPRING IT!

Oh lord, I am so happy that it is spring!!!!

I just cannot take another effing snow storm.....

NO!

This is for Avery who said 

"Why the heck have you not written on your blog?"

I want to put 'fuck' back in that line instead of eff but Avery would not talk that way.

He is not potty mouthed!

Speaking of Avery I went to see the opening night of his first show for the Harold Green Jewish Theatre!

Rose starring Lally Cadeau....

George could not go because he was sicky.... so there I was..... off to a straight play alone..... will wonders ever cease..... I was in the front row!

It was SSSOOOOOO Good!

Lally was spectaular..... she took us all to school that night!

Congrat Lally and HG Jewish Theatre!

So much has happened since my last Blog!

The Doras called....yes the actual award picked up the phone and gave me a ringy-dingy.....ah Lilly Tomlin where are you?.....

anyhow... they asked me to host!

Sharron's Party at the fricken' Doras!!

I am so excited!

I only started to minorly crap my pants yesterday!

What will all the fancy actors say?

Wait!

I forgot!

Who cares!!!!

What if my humour is a little musical and low class!

Excited again!

Oh and guess who is my guest on the Doras?

THOM~!!!!!

YEah!

George and I went to Mexico for a week.... we could not afford it but..... the day before we decided that we couldn't not afford it!!

That sounds wrong!

You know what I mean!!!!

We went to the only place where it was not raining... Puerto Vallarta!

We have been there 2 times already and kinda wanted to go somewhere new but when we got there we were sooo happy that was where we went!

Our resort was in Romantic Town....Old Town.....my favorite part...... GAY TOWN!

Yeah!!!!

George got picked up by a man whore and I got my boob felt up by a mariachi player!

FUN!

There is so much to tell you about that time..... we met a young man named Ken from Etobicoke who was on his own and he hung with us.... what a nice young man..... I wanted to help him find girls....and did!

Oh.... so much to tell you......we also hung out with an amazing couple name Lorraine and Doug!

She is a firey blond who knows how to party and tells a  good story and he is a suave man who plays the mandolin, who also knows when the time has come to pitch her favorite CD off the 8th floor balcony into the ocean.....so many stories!!!!

But to hear those stories you have to come to my celebration of the Doras and all things spring at the Diesel!

Sunday April 27th BABY!

8:00pm

Diesel Playhouse

SHARRON'S PARTY IS BACK!!!!

With the crazy and handsome Reza Jacobs on Piano....

Up and Comer Sara Farb of Edges fame....

And Headlining Guest???

Patricia Zentilli....

She was Audrey in Little Shop at Canstage

....

In the Jane Show and this season she was on Rick Mercer!!!1

Woo Hoo.....

I will tell all the stories!!!

Come on Down!

 I gotta go learn my lines for Happy.....oh did I mention Happy?

The show I am doing at Buddies that is written and directed by Sky Gilbert?

It is gooooooooood people!!!!

What fun I am having in rehearsals!!!

Gotta learn those lines!

Oh.... and are you exhausted yet?>>>>>>>>>>

I got new stuff on you tube!!!!

www.youtube.com/sharronpartygirl

Check it out baby!

Peace out!

Ever Been to Perth.....

During all of my chats with the 5 of you, I think that your numbers have increased, I have been remiss in telling you about my trips to Perth.....

Now here is the reason why.....

I was asked by an old and dear friend, Micheal, who owns Perth Manor in......Perth.....to come up and do an intimate Sharron's Party at his fancy place....and it is fancy....google it!.......of course, I said yes!

I went up there and the people were lovely and the place was.....also lovely.....

I was treated like queen and my audience was titilated and excited .....because you know how I am naughty....

I think Micheal was afraid the whole time that I was gonna say cocksucker....

Because the prominent people of Perth came out to see the show and I was trying to soften it up.....you don't want to cocksucker them right away....

you gotta save it up for a few visits.....

I put together a special show just for them and they loved it!!!

We had a great time.....and they were the tiniest bit naughty.....

And then Michael and David, his partner, would serve us the most beautiful breakfast on the patio the next afternoon..... not morning because the audience bought me a bottle of wine and I got the tiniest bit slosshed.

I went back up again a couple months later and did an outside Party....

There was a tent and everything.

A Barbra Steisand concert really and brought Thom as my special guest!!!

FANCY!!!

The crowd was bigger this time and more diverse.....from about 24 years to 70 years I would say......they laughed and I sang.....and I still didn't say cocksucker....

I am still saving it~

We finished off the night with a sing a long 'Over the Rainbow' that I will never forget.

The people there are just fabulous.....they bought me a couple bottles of wine and I had to be carried back to the house by George.....

Now here is the reason I never wrote about it!!!!

Michael said that he didn't want the world knowing the the important people of Perth were having the tiniest of naughty times!!!

So I didn't say.

Now I hear that the people of Perth are sad that they have been left out of the blog.

Well.....here you are people.

I am not going to name you ..... to preserve your privacy.....but know that I love you.....

especially the potty mouth lady who shares the name of the queen.

All my love to Perth.....

best,

Sharron

Bikram Still!!!

Yes, people I am still doing Bikram......

I am still mixin' it up in the hot yoga.....

I love it!!!!!

Paul McQuillan was right!

But don't tell him I said so.......

We wouldn't want him to get a bit head!

I am still doing my two person show with Georgie....

I am almost, ALMOST, having fun.....I still have an asshole the size of the head of a pin because my ass is so clenched from tension....

TMI?

We have one more week.

Funny place, that Orangeville...

It is a very lovely town.....

Picturesque one might say........

But ......

No....not but......

AND!

One night George, I and our awesome stage manager, Ms. Jennifer Jansen......you could add Lucas onto the end of her name as she is married to that lighting guy Steve Lucas....he did Wizard of Oz....and is awesome as well......

We went out to the Winchester Pub on Broadway....

For some reason it makes me chuckle that the main street is called Broadway.....

Just gay enough!....

So we go to this pub because every night I talk about nachos in the show and it makes her mouth water.....so we go for nachos....

So....it is jam night at the pub....

and the crowd is a mix of under-agers and guys who look like the drink OV beer and play slow-pitch....

ODD, non?

So, the first guy up is a black dude...who is going to wrap.....oh no....I mean rap....

like really rap....

His dad is waiting for him to start and and holding a handycam.....

Um.....where are we?

Then we glean pretty quickly that he is from a twosome called Triple Threat....

He says words like 'bitch' and 'pussy'....I think he is about 18 years old....

But not bad....but ten feet away from me.....way closer to the 'stage' is a dude who clearly likes his beer and shepards pie....oh and he also seems to be partial to white people.....

He has the hugest scowl on his face....and his group of six.....which contains a woman who's voice is pitched higher than the chipmunks......this group complains that this is a pub and they shouldn't play 'that kind' of music there.....

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh my lord!!!

No really....not a word of a lie....

Jen and George and I are just agog....

It is about this time that I realize that I am spoiling for a fight....

A little fist fight never hurt anyone.....

I am pretty sure that I can take a couple people....

As I think this the waitress, who seems like she is about 16, tells me that I remind her of the chick from 'The Big Comfy Couch'...

Isn't she a clown?

I hate clowns!!!

That comment makes me want to fight her....

Jen is starting to egg me on......

THEN.....

A girl comes in the bar......late teens, early twenties..........a bit slutty....lets not mince words.....

She is up dancing to the jamming musicians, who are playing James Taylor for fricks-sake......and she is dancing alone!!

I see her looking our way over and over.....I start to get worked up that she is looking at George!!!!

Then she asks me to dance.....

REally?

Well....

Who knew?

Orangeville is a different place.

I am soooo enjoying our time there.....

But it is a bit unpredictable!

Finally! More YouTube, Baby!

I spent the better part of yesterday figuring this MAC out....but it was fruitful!!!

I finally edited some footage from the Christmas Party and it is on Youtube.....

It is always humbling to look at yourself at any angle for an extended period of time.....

But I am also looking ahead to editing the Brampton footage that I took.....

Oooh.

It is a challenge.

I find putting stuff on Youtube daunting ..... there is always some yahoo that is gonna call me something....it always initially cuts to the quick..... but everyone has got a fricken' opinion.....like assholes, right?

EFF IT!!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones.....but the Party will never hurt me!!!!

Check it out!Type in 'SharronPartyGirl' into the search engine and see what you get!

Ropes End!

Holy Crap you guys!!!

I opened a two hander!

With my husband !!!!!

In Orangeville.

And for all of my very dear, concerned Orangeville people...... I apoligize that I may have shown the town in a bad 'meteorological' light.......BUT!!!!

People!!!!

We drove through, at least, 4 snow storms so far ......the most recent during which the show was sooooo heavy that every 10 minutes we had to pull over the clear the windshield wipers......IT  WAS THAT HEAVY!!!

REALLY.

And at one point George was looking through a clear spot on the window the size of a fist. 

But the funny thing is ..... we drove through one during which George drank a milkshake and only handed it to me when we started to slide......now we are all......OH, I DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!

One of the fabulous tech people commented one day in rehearsal about how they like to look out the front window of their house and watch people get stuck in snow drifts....I mean REALLY!!!!

That is just wrong!

And this morning our dear hosts called us and told us we needed to get out and to work because the road was frozen....FROZEN.....then they proceeded to tell us that the best way to get out was to take a right at the end of the road and make sure that you didn't put your foot on the brake all the way.....and we would be fine.....god bless the awesome Darryl and Marilyn.......our hosts.......but that is some weather.

The whole experience has been a great one, aside from the ass-ie weather.....the people really are just the bees knees and David Nairn is running a fabulous theatre up there.

He is very passionate.

And it was only the last two days before we opened that I begun to doubt my ability to perform the set out task of the two hander.

There are just so many lines.....so much talking.....so little singing....and alot of changing.....

I had my melt down that David talked me through...... it was one of those....'holy shit what the fuck do I think I am doing....how the fuck can I do this' .....things..... but it turned out..... my pal Blythe came to see the opening and I informed her that I had not had a solid poop in three days.....and was holding a bottle of Tums at the time.

But opening night was just ......it was fun.

Really.

It is so awesome to be onstage with my husband.

It was a great Valentines gift.

He only gives me notes sometimes.

Yup....he gives me notes.

Just like Fred Willard in 'Guffman'......

Oh my lord!!!

I love Paranormal State.....George won't watch it with me....he says nothing happens.....I say that it is the promise of something finally happening which keeps me watching.....and to answer Micke.....yes....I have seen the episodes with the old school ghost busting lady....she  is all the old version of the crazy round lady from Poltergiest.....I  have been away for most of the week in Orangeville so I have all these shows that I want to watch! But I can't..... I CAN'T yet!!!!

I have to learn my damned lines....wow.....I miss coming onstage for 20 minutes and singing the last tune and then reading for the rest of the time!!!

This is alot of work....I know....duh, Sharron!

George and I are working hard! We are all an acting duo.....look out Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn....of course they can't really look anywhere because they are dead....aren't they?

So...that being said.....I have to go....

But here are a few thoughts....

It snows alot in Orangeville.

Did you know that in a pinch......'Anyways' works to get you to the next transition onstage if you can't remember your line?

George is a good actor.

Otto's farts are starting to smell a bit like Chef Boyardee.

It's Back!

So, we get back from Orangeville late last  night from rehearsal and the only thing on my mind.........

THE SEASON PREMIERE OF LOST!!!!!!!!!

I could not be more excited..... excited like when I used to have slumber parties.

I didn't think I would be coming home last night and was trying to figure out how I could get Thom to come over and explain to him over the phone how to program my my very precious PVR to record it.

Then at rehearsal we decided that we should come back here tonight because of the impending....

Storm 2008....

can you believe how they build this shit up?

God help us if we ever have a war.....

Storm 2008 ...

is different then.....

Fucking Windstorm 2008 .....

and if you wanna read more about that go down to the next blog....

worth it, I promise.....

But....when we were on our convoy home I realised that we would make it to see the timeshifter showing....

I got so pumped I had to stop myself from really speeding.

We walked in the door and and I ran to the TV....

which is about 2 feet from the front door .....

and found out that it had just started in Calgary.....

Calgary..... ( said with a bit of a tone ..... and if you don't know why...... we can have a drink sometime)....

So, I ran around the loft throwing off my clothes and putting on my comfys with George just staring at me and shaking his head.

When the show started.....

I almost peed....

Now I know that I use that alot......but I really did this time.

This show makes me feel special.....like I am in some special geek club.....when people ask me if they can just watch this season I just laugh and say....'NO WAY'

!!!

And in secret I am thinking....

'What are you effing nuts!'

I found myself all confused again and thrilled.....and I didn't really know what was going on!

But I did not care!

I love that show!

I LOVE IT!

Thoughts.

Jack: CRAZY and Earnest....and Thinner?

Kate: Slutty and not trust worthy....I think she is gonna turn.

Sawyer: Dreamy....not as dreamy as George, my husband but I am just trying to be true to the story.

Locke: What the Fuck....is he shot...is he not....is he real?

Ben: Weirdy

Charlie: Aw...Dead.

Desmond: Don't know what his story is.....and that room Penelope was in looked like it was on the island....didn't it?

Hugo: Godd story line....I loved when he tried to run.

Oceanic 6: Intriguing!

I feel about Lost....the way George feels about Friday Night Lights.

TV is good.

 

And then I almost died!

Alright people, are you ready for a scary tale.

Tuck yourself in and put your hands and feet under the blanket....as you don't want to be grabbed by the spirits.

So, here I am in Orangeville, they are so nice to me here, to rehearse the two hander play that George and I are doing....

Well, because George is doing an Aboriginal Dance piece this week during the day, true story, we are rehearsing from 5-10 in the evening.

And we have had to pull out of retirement from his place at Richmond and Sherbourne....

(my sister is house sitting....so don't think about robbing us!!!!)

Otto the 15 year old dog....

On the road, again.

God bless his stinky soul.

( He does smell like corn chips)

We finish rehearsal and George is going back to our place in TO to make the commute easier for himself tomorrow.

I am going to stay at the General Manager's home in the country.

Well, I come out and put Otto in the Ford and it starts to rain a bit....Marilyn, said General Manager, has been so sweet and very concerned that I make it there okay so late at night....but I am like.....oh, don't worry...I drive all the time at night....

Well, the effing rain makes the road all damned shiny and there are no lights....it is pitch black, except for the lights on my car and the lights from the occasional yahoo that drives by me and flips me the bird for driving so slow......

Oh my god....I just kept driving and driving....I got lost twice and had to pull into the Texas Chainsaw Massacre-er's drive way to look at the map.

So, finally I find the sideroad that she lives on...it is like a rollercoaster.....and it is wet and gravelly....oh my....

my heart beats a bit faster...I just want to get there....

Remember how warm it was yesterday?

Remember how fucking cold it got last night?

Well, I find the driveway to her house and as god is my fricken' witness a goddamned dear ran in front of my car.

You gotta be kinding me....

Then as I swerve out of the way I see a freakin' bunny.....

All of a sudden it is the fricken wild kingdom.

Her house is lovely and she actually has me and Otto set up in a separate apartment over the garage....it is very nice and homey...just a teeny bit cold....as the temperature has dropped about 100 degrees in the last hour.

I take all of my luggage up the stairs and then heave up my 45 pound dog...and Bob's your uncle and Neil's your aunt...at least in my world he is!

So, there is a TV with rabbit ears....thank jesus....and a phone....but I really feel like I am in the middle of nowhere.....again, Marilyn, I thank you for the place, it is wonderful....I am not ungrateful....just trying to tell the story the way it was.

So as I go down the stairs I see that there is someone standing at outside the door looking in, I gasp and clutch the pearls.....but then I see that it is just Marilyn......she is all concerned that I am settled in.

I tell her I am great!

She says that I should be aware that there is supposed to be some high winds during the night.

I say, bring it....she mentions that it can get pretty windy.

Well, I go to sleep at 11:00pm.

You guys.

The wind sounded like someone was trying to rip off the roof.

It sounded like...an effing tornado....and if any of you know my dog....he HATES noise.

Of any kind.

So, I can hear him shaking on the floor....I try to get him up on the bed...it takes about 20 minutes of shaking, growling and lifting!

But I get him up!

I put him under the covers and we lay there and cannot sleep at all, it was sooooo loud!

It started to sound a bit scary at about 3:00am.

I thought the windows were going to blow in.

So, I am drifting in and out of sleep clutching Otto to my side.

I wake fully at 4:11am and as my eyes open....

The power goes out.

When I am staying somewhere new I always leave a little light on to keep me feeling safe and cosy.

Well.... no lights .... pitch fucking black.

Um.

Heart beats....Otto whines just a little.....never a good sign....and the I start to think of the new show I have been watching....have you watched it....

Paranormal State....

It is about ghostbusting people basically.

I am scared as shit.

No doubt.

I clutch to my chest the only thing that I think can help me out of this mess.

My blackberry.

And I begin to randomly shine the light around the room to make sure that there are no serial killers waiting.

I don't know where any candles are and the ground outside is frozen because the temperature went down 100 degrees in an hour....so running like hell is out of the question....and it is hard to run with a 45 pound, 15 year old, scared as I am schnauzer that I am in charge of.

So, I ask Otto what we should do...he gags like an old man and breathes his breatheof death on me.

Alright.

The power stayed off for 4 hours....I know because Otto and I were awake for all of them.....the power made the heat go off....it was 55 degrees on the thermostat when it started up again!

I went through every Steven King book I had ever read....and every scary scenario that ever existed.

And it sounded like armageddon was happening outside.

Then it started to sound to sound like someone was making their way up the steps....

It was the longest 4 hours of my life....with my blackberry clutched in one hand and Cornchip dog in the other....thank god for Otto......

When the sun rose I fell into a stuppor.....

I made it!

And I didn't get killed!

Only almost.

The Screen Actors Guild? I never!

Oh my god!!!!

You guys!!!!

I didn't know but I was up for a SAG award!

REALLY!!!!

I was sitting here watching the only awards show on TV.... I was so excited that I almost peed!

I did!

How many exclamations can I use in this blog?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of the dresses....all of the make up......all of the boobjobs....all of the thank you speeches being run over inside of coifed brains.....

Then John Travolta and Nicki Blonsky came onstage and announced that the Hairspray movie was up a "Best Cast" award!

WAIT!!!!!

I was in the cast!!!!

I was!!!!

Then they showed a clip.....I was in it twice.....that was two more times than James Marsden..... and he played Corny effing Collins....I screamed soo fucking loud that George almost jumped off of the couch!

I was excited like I was.......when something awesome would happen when I was in my twenties.....before I was jaded!

Then.....I didn't win.....it was sad.......hmm.

All of my excitement gone... so fast.

I never win anything.

Fuck.

Here are a couple thoughts about the SAG awards!

Charles Durning, Mickey Rooney, Julie Christie, Ruby Dee.......

Old people scare me.

Is that wrong?

At least I am honest.

Is that Kate Hudson goona break up Matthew McConnaghy's relationship?

She is a bit of a homewreaker.

Do you think Angelina and Brad even remember Jenn?

Vanessa Williams dress looked like it wanted to go south.

And lastly, I loved Daniel Day Lewis' speech.

He is one class act.

Miss America LIVE!

So.

George and I are sitting on the couch...we both have our laptops in our.......well, in our laps.

And we are watching......

but only out of the corner of our eyes......

Miss America.......

LIVE!!!!!!!

It is being billed as America's first real reality show!

Oh my...........

This guy from Entertainment Tonight is the host.....and it is live.....it seems to freakin' him out....he is stumbling over he words and has the crazy eyes.

They have as a colour commentator.....I have always found that title slightly disoncerting......

that mean guy from 'What Not To Wear'.....Clinton or something......he just gave the 35 girls who didn't make the top 15 creampuffs and cookies....they have to sit to the side of the stage and watch bitches that they can't really stand fight each other for the illustrious title of Queen of the People Whose Moms Pushed Them Too hard.

Oh ya .....

and didn't feed them for 18 years.

Old Miss America's dress looks like it was made by ...... by .....

my dog.

That host is havin' a hard time..... they are saying that the bikini  competition is really just  a focus on health and fitness and......

oh ya....

titties and asses!!!!

Thoughts in the bikini competition...

Miss Iowa is wearing clear heeled hooker shoes...

Which was fitting as the music sounded like it was stripper tunes....

Miss Indiana's last name is Rash....

Icky....

They all have fierce bodies.....makes me want to kill them a bit.

Miss Washington looks like a drag queen....

Oh my harsh....

but true my people.....

Work it Miss Florida!

Miss Utah is in a one piece!!!!

Hmm.

What is she hiding?

That host is still looking like he took the wrong job.

That Clinton is just effing mean?

And the first commercial is for home pregnancy tests and the second is for Tostitos.....

and the third, my friends,

depression medication!

WHO DO THEY THINK IS WATCHING THIS?

And how can a side effect of depression medication be suicide? 

Can you tell me that?

And I think they gave the host a valium on the break.

Oh No.....

They are cutting 6!

Who will kick who?

Who will wish death on the other?

They sure know how to put on a smilie face.....I would be effing pissed..... and that Miss Utah should have worn a bikini.... she just got kicked off!

And then she got down on the floor and did push ups ..... who does she think she is?

Jack Palance?

EVENING WEAR!

But a commercial break first!

I went today to meet with some friends that I had not hung out with since 1986!

Holy shit.... that sounds like forever!

I was a bit pee-my-pants excited!

I met Chrissie and Regan at Slainte in Hamilton....we sat and talked and laughed for 3 hours..... god the names that they were coming up with and the stuff they remembered made me gobsmacked.

I am so glad that we met...I wanted to post a picture of us together from 1986 but I could not find one....and I took my camera to take a pic of now but forgot to put batteries in....ass.

Anyhow.....I had a fab time you guys!

Cannot wait for next time!

Commercial break over!

All of the parents are onstage for the final part.....like there isn't enough pressure... Mama Rose is onstage.

Oh that first dress is lovely! 

But Miss Texas' dress is a green kermit-the-frog mess...with panels and god knows what else.

Georgia got fake boobies, I thinkie.

Oh... and so does Indiana.

Those 40 women on the stage are just the whole experience and they are sitting with Clinton, the mean guy, during the evening wear part....you know they are just cutting the crap out of all those dresses.......Oh I am exhausted!

 I don't know it I can make it through the rest!

I just lost interest....I wish there was pizza.

And chips.

And Dip.

mmmmmmm.

I am turning it.....the pagent is outdated and it bores me now.....ooooh Austin Powers.

 Okay....then I turned it back on when George took Otto out  to walk......Miss Texas was doing jazz on pointe.....to the Rich Man's Frug from Sweet Charity.....what the fuck is Jazz on POINTE>>>>>it is bad.....that is what it is....the next girl is playing the violin.....oh shit here comes George!

Sweatin' to Oldies

So, I go to a bikram yoga class.......

With my friend Thom, .....

Do you know what bikram is?

It is an hour and a half of yoga poses in a room that can go to 110 degrees......

Really......

Hot yoga, the younguns call it.

First of all, Thom got me all scared telling me how hard and challenging it was....and how it could make you feel dizzy and sick to your stomach and maybe a bit faint....

And after this conversation I got off the phone....I don't even think I sounded like I was willing by the end of the conversation.....and turned to my husband and told him that I thought that I might die.

Then I called my friend Vicki.....she is a choreographer and a dancer.......she sounded skeptical and started to tell me how she went and because she is all a dancer , she pushed herself way hard.....and then she went home with a migrane and projectile vomited.....well.....aweseome.

I was actually quite scared by the time I got the studio .....and we had to go to a late class so the place was packed....about 35 people.....

All pretty much naked.

Really.

I was wearing pants and two tank tops and it looked like I was in a parka compared to everyone else....

There was a dude in a man bikini.....

And all I could think of as I watched him standing front and centre with his spray-on tan was.....

You come here to be naked and in your speedo .....and you have an excuse....

did I mention people were pretty much NAKED!!

I walked into the room to put my matt down before we started....to save my place and all.....and when I felt the wave of heat and the breathed in the humidity.......

I started to panic, but just a bit.

Then when we all got in the room and it was just jam packed.....

I panicked a bit more.....

Then the lady asked who was new to the class and 2 of us put up our hands....she said the most important thing was to not leave the room....it would be bad for your heart and is disruptive to the class.......so try and tough it out for the.....

HOUR AND HALF!

AHHHHHHH!

I was already sweating and trying not to run screaming from the room.....fighting the fight or flight instinct.

It was hard!

So, about ten minutes into the class.......a dude ran out....he just wanted OUT and someone in the class asked him to not leave the room....not even the teacher....you could tell he was freakin' a bit....then the teacher tried to talk him out of it...

LET THE POOR GUY GO FOR GODS SAKE!

I laid down about 5 times.....I felt sick about the same amount and felt like I was gonna pass out only once.

Not bad, eh?

There was a point when I was wrapped up in some position and the teacher said not to think badly of the person who brought you.....I looked at Thom....

he pretended not to notice.

But I made it....cue all of the applause.....I think that the hardest thing was trying to just be easy on myself and not try to push myself too hard....and honour when I had to stop....and really,  just to try not to run out of the room.

I sweat so much that my clothes weighed about 10 pounds and my hair was soaked....

but let me tell you something....

when it was done.....

this felt better than doing a great opening night show.

It felt like I had done something athletic, which has never been my forte....

and that I had conquered a fear....

And that I am a sweating machine.

So,.......

I went back today at noon.....yup I did!

I am nothing if not obsessive.....

And guess what........I did awesome...I only laid down twice......

and think I did  well on the poses for a beginner...

Although I got there early to get a good spot and this lady came in just as we started and stood right in front of me in the mirror....I wanted to say something but I thought that wouldn't be very yoga-ie of me.

I am proud and I only hurt a bit......I think I will do it again.

Doesn't that sound cracked?

Trading Spouses.....

Just a thought!

Have you ever watched Trading Spouses?

Oh my lord!

It is sooooooooo good!

Oh my dear lord...... it is 250 shades of wrong!

And if this in wrong I don't want to be right!

They always put a new age person from the north with a christian from the deep south and just back up and let the hilarity ensue.

There was a woman on this week who was so freakin' scary..... she was from Louisiana and was so crazy and so afraid that she was being possessed by the dark side ........ because the people in the family were astrologists ......  and the first place she felt the devil was.....drumroll please.... 

the dryer that made a clunking noise....... 

it scared her so much that she puked in the garden.

Oh god your guys......tune in.