Wednesday, January 30, 2008

And then I almost died!

Alright people, are you ready for a scary tale.
Tuck yourself in and put your hands and feet under the blanket....as you don't want to be grabbed by the spirits.
So, here I am in Orangeville, they are so nice to me here, to rehearse the two hander play that George and I are doing....
Well, because George is doing an Aboriginal Dance piece this week during the day, true story, we are rehearsing from 5-10 in the evening.
And we have had to pull out of retirement from his place at Richmond and Sherbourne....
(my sister is house sitting....so don't think about robbing us!!!!)
Otto the 15 year old dog....
On the road, again.
God bless his stinky soul.
( He does smell like corn chips)
We finish rehearsal and George is going back to our place in TO to make the commute easier for himself tomorrow.
I am going to stay at the General Manager's home in the country.
Well, I come out and put Otto in the Ford and it starts to rain a bit....Marilyn, said General Manager, has been so sweet and very concerned that I make it there okay so late at night....but I am like.....oh, don't worry...I drive all the time at night....
Well, the effing rain makes the road all damned shiny and there are no lights....it is pitch black, except for the lights on my car and the lights from the occasional yahoo that drives by me and flips me the bird for driving so slow......
Oh my god....I just kept driving and driving....I got lost twice and had to pull into the Texas Chainsaw Massacre-er's drive way to look at the map.
So, finally I find the sideroad that she lives on...it is like a rollercoaster.....and it is wet and gravelly....oh my....
my heart beats a bit faster...I just want to get there....
Remember how warm it was yesterday?
Remember how fucking cold it got last night?
Well, I find the driveway to her house and as god is my fricken' witness a goddamned dear ran in front of my car.
You gotta be kinding me....
Then as I swerve out of the way I see a freakin' bunny.....
All of a sudden it is the fricken wild kingdom.
Her house is lovely and she actually has me and Otto set up in a separate apartment over the garage....it is very nice and homey...just a teeny bit cold....as the temperature has dropped about 100 degrees in the last hour.
I take all of my luggage up the stairs and then heave up my 45 pound dog...and Bob's your uncle and Neil's your aunt...at least in my world he is!
So, there is a TV with rabbit ears....thank jesus....and a phone....but I really feel like I am in the middle of nowhere.....again, Marilyn, I thank you for the place, it is wonderful....I am not ungrateful....just trying to tell the story the way it was.
So as I go down the stairs I see that there is someone standing at outside the door looking in, I gasp and clutch the pearls.....but then I see that it is just Marilyn......she is all concerned that I am settled in.
I tell her I am great!
She says that I should be aware that there is supposed to be some high winds during the night.
I say, bring it....she mentions that it can get pretty windy.
Well, I go to sleep at 11:00pm.
You guys.
The wind sounded like someone was trying to rip off the roof.
It sounded like...an effing tornado....and if any of you know my dog....he HATES noise.
Of any kind.
So, I can hear him shaking on the floor....I try to get him up on the bed...it takes about 20 minutes of shaking, growling and lifting!
But I get him up!
I put him under the covers and we lay there and cannot sleep at all, it was sooooo loud!
It started to sound a bit scary at about 3:00am.
I thought the windows were going to blow in.
So, I am drifting in and out of sleep clutching Otto to my side.
I wake fully at 4:11am and as my eyes open....
The power goes out.
When I am staying somewhere new I always leave a little light on to keep me feeling safe and cosy.
Well.... no lights .... pitch fucking black.
Um.
Heart beats....Otto whines just a little.....never a good sign....and the I start to think of the new show I have been watching....have you watched it....
Paranormal State....
It is about ghostbusting people basically.
I am scared as shit.
No doubt.
I clutch to my chest the only thing that I think can help me out of this mess.
My blackberry.
And I begin to randomly shine the light around the room to make sure that there are no serial killers waiting.
I don't know where any candles are and the ground outside is frozen because the temperature went down 100 degrees in an hour....so running like hell is out of the question....and it is hard to run with a 45 pound, 15 year old, scared as I am schnauzer that I am in charge of.
So, I ask Otto what we should do...he gags like an old man and breathes his breatheof death on me.
Alright.
The power stayed off for 4 hours....I know because Otto and I were awake for all of them.....the power made the heat go off....it was 55 degrees on the thermostat when it started up again!
I went through every Steven King book I had ever read....and every scary scenario that ever existed.
And it sounded like armageddon was happening outside.
Then it started to sound to sound like someone was making their way up the steps....
It was the longest 4 hours of my life....with my blackberry clutched in one hand and Cornchip dog in the other....thank god for Otto......
When the sun rose I fell into a stuppor.....
I made it!
And I didn't get killed!
Only almost.

1 comment:

Micke said...

Holy Crap! You made me laugh so hard it hurts!

ps. have you seen the episodes of paranormal with the old lady ghostbuster? I love her. So old school creepy with her brooches and long white hair.