Saturday, January 26, 2008

Miss America LIVE!

So.
George and I are sitting on the couch...we both have our laptops in our.......well, in our laps.
And we are watching......
but only out of the corner of our eyes......
Miss America.......
LIVE!!!!!!!
It is being billed as America's first real reality show!
Oh my...........
This guy from Entertainment Tonight is the host.....and it is live.....it seems to freakin' him out....he is stumbling over he words and has the crazy eyes.
They have as a colour commentator.....I have always found that title slightly disoncerting......
that mean guy from 'What Not To Wear'.....Clinton or something......he just gave the 35 girls who didn't make the top 15 creampuffs and cookies....they have to sit to the side of the stage and watch bitches that they can't really stand fight each other for the illustrious title of Queen of the People Whose Moms Pushed Them Too hard.
Oh ya .....
and didn't feed them for 18 years.
Old Miss America's dress looks like it was made by ...... by .....
my dog.
That host is havin' a hard time..... they are saying that the bikini  competition is really just  a focus on health and fitness and......
oh ya....
titties and asses!!!!
Thoughts in the bikini competition...
Miss Iowa is wearing clear heeled hooker shoes...
Which was fitting as the music sounded like it was stripper tunes....
Miss Indiana's last name is Rash....
Icky....
They all have fierce bodies.....makes me want to kill them a bit.
Miss Washington looks like a drag queen....
Oh my harsh....
but true my people.....
Work it Miss Florida!
Miss Utah is in a one piece!!!!
Hmm.
What is she hiding?
That host is still looking like he took the wrong job.
That Clinton is just effing mean?
And the first commercial is for home pregnancy tests and the second is for Tostitos.....
and the third, my friends,
depression medication!
WHO DO THEY THINK IS WATCHING THIS?
And how can a side effect of depression medication be suicide? 
Can you tell me that?
And I think they gave the host a valium on the break.
Oh No.....
They are cutting 6!
Who will kick who?
Who will wish death on the other?
They sure know how to put on a smilie face.....I would be effing pissed..... and that Miss Utah should have worn a bikini.... she just got kicked off!
And then she got down on the floor and did push ups ..... who does she think she is?
Jack Palance?
EVENING WEAR!
But a commercial break first!
I went today to meet with some friends that I had not hung out with since 1986!
Holy shit.... that sounds like forever!
I was a bit pee-my-pants excited!
I met Chrissie and Regan at Slainte in Hamilton....we sat and talked and laughed for 3 hours..... god the names that they were coming up with and the stuff they remembered made me gobsmacked.
I am so glad that we met...I wanted to post a picture of us together from 1986 but I could not find one....and I took my camera to take a pic of now but forgot to put batteries in....ass.
Anyhow.....I had a fab time you guys!
Cannot wait for next time!
Commercial break over!
All of the parents are onstage for the final part.....like there isn't enough pressure... Mama Rose is onstage.
Oh that first dress is lovely! 
But Miss Texas' dress is a green kermit-the-frog mess...with panels and god knows what else.
Georgia got fake boobies, I thinkie.
Oh... and so does Indiana.
Those 40 women on the stage are just the whole experience and they are sitting with Clinton, the mean guy, during the evening wear part....you know they are just cutting the crap out of all those dresses.......Oh I am exhausted!
 I don't know it I can make it through the rest!
I just lost interest....I wish there was pizza.
And chips.
And Dip.
mmmmmmm.
I am turning it.....the pagent is outdated and it bores me now.....ooooh Austin Powers.
 Okay....then I turned it back on when George took Otto out  to walk......Miss Texas was doing jazz on pointe.....to the Rich Man's Frug from Sweet Charity.....what the fuck is Jazz on POINTE>>>>>it is bad.....that is what it is....the next girl is playing the violin.....oh shit here comes George!



1 comment:

Micke said...

i was so freakin excited when i noticed that one girl's talent was baton twirling...and then they CUT her right before she would have performed!!! what a waste lol.