Ever Been to Perth.....

During all of my chats with the 5 of you, I think that your numbers have increased, I have been remiss in telling you about my trips to Perth.....

Now here is the reason why.....

I was asked by an old and dear friend, Micheal, who owns Perth Manor in......Perth.....to come up and do an intimate Sharron's Party at his fancy place....and it is fancy....google it!.......of course, I said yes!

I went up there and the people were lovely and the place was.....also lovely.....

I was treated like queen and my audience was titilated and excited .....because you know how I am naughty....

I think Micheal was afraid the whole time that I was gonna say cocksucker....

Because the prominent people of Perth came out to see the show and I was trying to soften it up.....you don't want to cocksucker them right away....

you gotta save it up for a few visits.....

I put together a special show just for them and they loved it!!!

We had a great time.....and they were the tiniest bit naughty.....

And then Michael and David, his partner, would serve us the most beautiful breakfast on the patio the next afternoon..... not morning because the audience bought me a bottle of wine and I got the tiniest bit slosshed.

I went back up again a couple months later and did an outside Party....

There was a tent and everything.

A Barbra Steisand concert really and brought Thom as my special guest!!!

FANCY!!!

The crowd was bigger this time and more diverse.....from about 24 years to 70 years I would say......they laughed and I sang.....and I still didn't say cocksucker....

I am still saving it~

We finished off the night with a sing a long 'Over the Rainbow' that I will never forget.

The people there are just fabulous.....they bought me a couple bottles of wine and I had to be carried back to the house by George.....

Now here is the reason I never wrote about it!!!!

Michael said that he didn't want the world knowing the the important people of Perth were having the tiniest of naughty times!!!

So I didn't say.

Now I hear that the people of Perth are sad that they have been left out of the blog.

Well.....here you are people.

I am not going to name you ..... to preserve your privacy.....but know that I love you.....

especially the potty mouth lady who shares the name of the queen.

All my love to Perth.....

best,

Sharron

Bikram Still!!!

Yes, people I am still doing Bikram......

I am still mixin' it up in the hot yoga.....

I love it!!!!!

Paul McQuillan was right!

But don't tell him I said so.......

We wouldn't want him to get a bit head!

I am still doing my two person show with Georgie....

I am almost, ALMOST, having fun.....I still have an asshole the size of the head of a pin because my ass is so clenched from tension....

TMI?

We have one more week.

Funny place, that Orangeville...

It is a very lovely town.....

Picturesque one might say........

But ......

No....not but......

AND!

One night George, I and our awesome stage manager, Ms. Jennifer Jansen......you could add Lucas onto the end of her name as she is married to that lighting guy Steve Lucas....he did Wizard of Oz....and is awesome as well......

We went out to the Winchester Pub on Broadway....

For some reason it makes me chuckle that the main street is called Broadway.....

Just gay enough!....

So we go to this pub because every night I talk about nachos in the show and it makes her mouth water.....so we go for nachos....

So....it is jam night at the pub....

and the crowd is a mix of under-agers and guys who look like the drink OV beer and play slow-pitch....

ODD, non?

So, the first guy up is a black dude...who is going to wrap.....oh no....I mean rap....

like really rap....

His dad is waiting for him to start and and holding a handycam.....

Um.....where are we?

Then we glean pretty quickly that he is from a twosome called Triple Threat....

He says words like 'bitch' and 'pussy'....I think he is about 18 years old....

But not bad....but ten feet away from me.....way closer to the 'stage' is a dude who clearly likes his beer and shepards pie....oh and he also seems to be partial to white people.....

He has the hugest scowl on his face....and his group of six.....which contains a woman who's voice is pitched higher than the chipmunks......this group complains that this is a pub and they shouldn't play 'that kind' of music there.....

WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?

Oh my lord!!!

No really....not a word of a lie....

Jen and George and I are just agog....

It is about this time that I realize that I am spoiling for a fight....

A little fist fight never hurt anyone.....

I am pretty sure that I can take a couple people....

As I think this the waitress, who seems like she is about 16, tells me that I remind her of the chick from 'The Big Comfy Couch'...

Isn't she a clown?

I hate clowns!!!

That comment makes me want to fight her....

Jen is starting to egg me on......

THEN.....

A girl comes in the bar......late teens, early twenties..........a bit slutty....lets not mince words.....

She is up dancing to the jamming musicians, who are playing James Taylor for fricks-sake......and she is dancing alone!!

I see her looking our way over and over.....I start to get worked up that she is looking at George!!!!

Then she asks me to dance.....

REally?

Well....

Who knew?

Orangeville is a different place.

I am soooo enjoying our time there.....

But it is a bit unpredictable!

Finally! More YouTube, Baby!

I spent the better part of yesterday figuring this MAC out....but it was fruitful!!!

I finally edited some footage from the Christmas Party and it is on Youtube.....

It is always humbling to look at yourself at any angle for an extended period of time.....

But I am also looking ahead to editing the Brampton footage that I took.....

Oooh.

It is a challenge.

I find putting stuff on Youtube daunting ..... there is always some yahoo that is gonna call me something....it always initially cuts to the quick..... but everyone has got a fricken' opinion.....like assholes, right?

EFF IT!!!!

Sticks and stones may break my bones.....but the Party will never hurt me!!!!

Check it out!Type in 'SharronPartyGirl' into the search engine and see what you get!

Ropes End!

Holy Crap you guys!!!

I opened a two hander!

With my husband !!!!!

In Orangeville.

And for all of my very dear, concerned Orangeville people...... I apoligize that I may have shown the town in a bad 'meteorological' light.......BUT!!!!

People!!!!

We drove through, at least, 4 snow storms so far ......the most recent during which the show was sooooo heavy that every 10 minutes we had to pull over the clear the windshield wipers......IT  WAS THAT HEAVY!!!

REALLY.

And at one point George was looking through a clear spot on the window the size of a fist. 

But the funny thing is ..... we drove through one during which George drank a milkshake and only handed it to me when we started to slide......now we are all......OH, I DON'T EVEN NOTICE IT!

One of the fabulous tech people commented one day in rehearsal about how they like to look out the front window of their house and watch people get stuck in snow drifts....I mean REALLY!!!!

That is just wrong!

And this morning our dear hosts called us and told us we needed to get out and to work because the road was frozen....FROZEN.....then they proceeded to tell us that the best way to get out was to take a right at the end of the road and make sure that you didn't put your foot on the brake all the way.....and we would be fine.....god bless the awesome Darryl and Marilyn.......our hosts.......but that is some weather.

The whole experience has been a great one, aside from the ass-ie weather.....the people really are just the bees knees and David Nairn is running a fabulous theatre up there.

He is very passionate.

And it was only the last two days before we opened that I begun to doubt my ability to perform the set out task of the two hander.

There are just so many lines.....so much talking.....so little singing....and alot of changing.....

I had my melt down that David talked me through...... it was one of those....'holy shit what the fuck do I think I am doing....how the fuck can I do this' .....things..... but it turned out..... my pal Blythe came to see the opening and I informed her that I had not had a solid poop in three days.....and was holding a bottle of Tums at the time.

But opening night was just ......it was fun.

Really.

It is so awesome to be onstage with my husband.

It was a great Valentines gift.

He only gives me notes sometimes.

Yup....he gives me notes.

Just like Fred Willard in 'Guffman'......

Oh my lord!!!

I love Paranormal State.....George won't watch it with me....he says nothing happens.....I say that it is the promise of something finally happening which keeps me watching.....and to answer Micke.....yes....I have seen the episodes with the old school ghost busting lady....she  is all the old version of the crazy round lady from Poltergiest.....I  have been away for most of the week in Orangeville so I have all these shows that I want to watch! But I can't..... I CAN'T yet!!!!

I have to learn my damned lines....wow.....I miss coming onstage for 20 minutes and singing the last tune and then reading for the rest of the time!!!

This is alot of work....I know....duh, Sharron!

George and I are working hard! We are all an acting duo.....look out Jessica Tandy and Hume Cronyn....of course they can't really look anywhere because they are dead....aren't they?

So...that being said.....I have to go....

But here are a few thoughts....

It snows alot in Orangeville.

Did you know that in a pinch......'Anyways' works to get you to the next transition onstage if you can't remember your line?

George is a good actor.

Otto's farts are starting to smell a bit like Chef Boyardee.

It's Back!

So, we get back from Orangeville late last  night from rehearsal and the only thing on my mind.........

THE SEASON PREMIERE OF LOST!!!!!!!!!

I could not be more excited..... excited like when I used to have slumber parties.

I didn't think I would be coming home last night and was trying to figure out how I could get Thom to come over and explain to him over the phone how to program my my very precious PVR to record it.

Then at rehearsal we decided that we should come back here tonight because of the impending....

Storm 2008....

can you believe how they build this shit up?

God help us if we ever have a war.....

Storm 2008 ...

is different then.....

Fucking Windstorm 2008 .....

and if you wanna read more about that go down to the next blog....

worth it, I promise.....

But....when we were on our convoy home I realised that we would make it to see the timeshifter showing....

I got so pumped I had to stop myself from really speeding.

We walked in the door and and I ran to the TV....

which is about 2 feet from the front door .....

and found out that it had just started in Calgary.....

Calgary..... ( said with a bit of a tone ..... and if you don't know why...... we can have a drink sometime)....

So, I ran around the loft throwing off my clothes and putting on my comfys with George just staring at me and shaking his head.

When the show started.....

I almost peed....

Now I know that I use that alot......but I really did this time.

This show makes me feel special.....like I am in some special geek club.....when people ask me if they can just watch this season I just laugh and say....'NO WAY'

!!!

And in secret I am thinking....

'What are you effing nuts!'

I found myself all confused again and thrilled.....and I didn't really know what was going on!

But I did not care!

I love that show!

I LOVE IT!

Thoughts.

Jack: CRAZY and Earnest....and Thinner?

Kate: Slutty and not trust worthy....I think she is gonna turn.

Sawyer: Dreamy....not as dreamy as George, my husband but I am just trying to be true to the story.

Locke: What the Fuck....is he shot...is he not....is he real?

Ben: Weirdy

Charlie: Aw...Dead.

Desmond: Don't know what his story is.....and that room Penelope was in looked like it was on the island....didn't it?

Hugo: Godd story line....I loved when he tried to run.

Oceanic 6: Intriguing!

I feel about Lost....the way George feels about Friday Night Lights.

TV is good.

 

And then I almost died!

Alright people, are you ready for a scary tale.

Tuck yourself in and put your hands and feet under the blanket....as you don't want to be grabbed by the spirits.

So, here I am in Orangeville, they are so nice to me here, to rehearse the two hander play that George and I are doing....

Well, because George is doing an Aboriginal Dance piece this week during the day, true story, we are rehearsing from 5-10 in the evening.

And we have had to pull out of retirement from his place at Richmond and Sherbourne....

(my sister is house sitting....so don't think about robbing us!!!!)

Otto the 15 year old dog....

On the road, again.

God bless his stinky soul.

( He does smell like corn chips)

We finish rehearsal and George is going back to our place in TO to make the commute easier for himself tomorrow.

I am going to stay at the General Manager's home in the country.

Well, I come out and put Otto in the Ford and it starts to rain a bit....Marilyn, said General Manager, has been so sweet and very concerned that I make it there okay so late at night....but I am like.....oh, don't worry...I drive all the time at night....

Well, the effing rain makes the road all damned shiny and there are no lights....it is pitch black, except for the lights on my car and the lights from the occasional yahoo that drives by me and flips me the bird for driving so slow......

Oh my god....I just kept driving and driving....I got lost twice and had to pull into the Texas Chainsaw Massacre-er's drive way to look at the map.

So, finally I find the sideroad that she lives on...it is like a rollercoaster.....and it is wet and gravelly....oh my....

my heart beats a bit faster...I just want to get there....

Remember how warm it was yesterday?

Remember how fucking cold it got last night?

Well, I find the driveway to her house and as god is my fricken' witness a goddamned dear ran in front of my car.

You gotta be kinding me....

Then as I swerve out of the way I see a freakin' bunny.....

All of a sudden it is the fricken wild kingdom.

Her house is lovely and she actually has me and Otto set up in a separate apartment over the garage....it is very nice and homey...just a teeny bit cold....as the temperature has dropped about 100 degrees in the last hour.

I take all of my luggage up the stairs and then heave up my 45 pound dog...and Bob's your uncle and Neil's your aunt...at least in my world he is!

So, there is a TV with rabbit ears....thank jesus....and a phone....but I really feel like I am in the middle of nowhere.....again, Marilyn, I thank you for the place, it is wonderful....I am not ungrateful....just trying to tell the story the way it was.

So as I go down the stairs I see that there is someone standing at outside the door looking in, I gasp and clutch the pearls.....but then I see that it is just Marilyn......she is all concerned that I am settled in.

I tell her I am great!

She says that I should be aware that there is supposed to be some high winds during the night.

I say, bring it....she mentions that it can get pretty windy.

Well, I go to sleep at 11:00pm.

You guys.

The wind sounded like someone was trying to rip off the roof.

It sounded like...an effing tornado....and if any of you know my dog....he HATES noise.

Of any kind.

So, I can hear him shaking on the floor....I try to get him up on the bed...it takes about 20 minutes of shaking, growling and lifting!

But I get him up!

I put him under the covers and we lay there and cannot sleep at all, it was sooooo loud!

It started to sound a bit scary at about 3:00am.

I thought the windows were going to blow in.

So, I am drifting in and out of sleep clutching Otto to my side.

I wake fully at 4:11am and as my eyes open....

The power goes out.

When I am staying somewhere new I always leave a little light on to keep me feeling safe and cosy.

Well.... no lights .... pitch fucking black.

Um.

Heart beats....Otto whines just a little.....never a good sign....and the I start to think of the new show I have been watching....have you watched it....

Paranormal State....

It is about ghostbusting people basically.

I am scared as shit.

No doubt.

I clutch to my chest the only thing that I think can help me out of this mess.

My blackberry.

And I begin to randomly shine the light around the room to make sure that there are no serial killers waiting.

I don't know where any candles are and the ground outside is frozen because the temperature went down 100 degrees in an hour....so running like hell is out of the question....and it is hard to run with a 45 pound, 15 year old, scared as I am schnauzer that I am in charge of.

So, I ask Otto what we should do...he gags like an old man and breathes his breatheof death on me.

Alright.

The power stayed off for 4 hours....I know because Otto and I were awake for all of them.....the power made the heat go off....it was 55 degrees on the thermostat when it started up again!

I went through every Steven King book I had ever read....and every scary scenario that ever existed.

And it sounded like armageddon was happening outside.

Then it started to sound to sound like someone was making their way up the steps....

It was the longest 4 hours of my life....with my blackberry clutched in one hand and Cornchip dog in the other....thank god for Otto......

When the sun rose I fell into a stuppor.....

I made it!

And I didn't get killed!

Only almost.

The Screen Actors Guild? I never!

Oh my god!!!!

You guys!!!!

I didn't know but I was up for a SAG award!

REALLY!!!!

I was sitting here watching the only awards show on TV.... I was so excited that I almost peed!

I did!

How many exclamations can I use in this blog?

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All of the dresses....all of the make up......all of the boobjobs....all of the thank you speeches being run over inside of coifed brains.....

Then John Travolta and Nicki Blonsky came onstage and announced that the Hairspray movie was up a "Best Cast" award!

WAIT!!!!!

I was in the cast!!!!

I was!!!!

Then they showed a clip.....I was in it twice.....that was two more times than James Marsden..... and he played Corny effing Collins....I screamed soo fucking loud that George almost jumped off of the couch!

I was excited like I was.......when something awesome would happen when I was in my twenties.....before I was jaded!

Then.....I didn't win.....it was sad.......hmm.

All of my excitement gone... so fast.

I never win anything.

Fuck.

Here are a couple thoughts about the SAG awards!

Charles Durning, Mickey Rooney, Julie Christie, Ruby Dee.......

Old people scare me.

Is that wrong?

At least I am honest.

Is that Kate Hudson goona break up Matthew McConnaghy's relationship?

She is a bit of a homewreaker.

Do you think Angelina and Brad even remember Jenn?

Vanessa Williams dress looked like it wanted to go south.

And lastly, I loved Daniel Day Lewis' speech.

He is one class act.

Miss America LIVE!

So.

George and I are sitting on the couch...we both have our laptops in our.......well, in our laps.

And we are watching......

but only out of the corner of our eyes......

Miss America.......

LIVE!!!!!!!

It is being billed as America's first real reality show!

Oh my...........

This guy from Entertainment Tonight is the host.....and it is live.....it seems to freakin' him out....he is stumbling over he words and has the crazy eyes.

They have as a colour commentator.....I have always found that title slightly disoncerting......

that mean guy from 'What Not To Wear'.....Clinton or something......he just gave the 35 girls who didn't make the top 15 creampuffs and cookies....they have to sit to the side of the stage and watch bitches that they can't really stand fight each other for the illustrious title of Queen of the People Whose Moms Pushed Them Too hard.

Oh ya .....

and didn't feed them for 18 years.

Old Miss America's dress looks like it was made by ...... by .....

my dog.

That host is havin' a hard time..... they are saying that the bikini  competition is really just  a focus on health and fitness and......

oh ya....

titties and asses!!!!

Thoughts in the bikini competition...

Miss Iowa is wearing clear heeled hooker shoes...

Which was fitting as the music sounded like it was stripper tunes....

Miss Indiana's last name is Rash....

Icky....

They all have fierce bodies.....makes me want to kill them a bit.

Miss Washington looks like a drag queen....

Oh my harsh....

but true my people.....

Work it Miss Florida!

Miss Utah is in a one piece!!!!

Hmm.

What is she hiding?

That host is still looking like he took the wrong job.

That Clinton is just effing mean?

And the first commercial is for home pregnancy tests and the second is for Tostitos.....

and the third, my friends,

depression medication!

WHO DO THEY THINK IS WATCHING THIS?

And how can a side effect of depression medication be suicide? 

Can you tell me that?

And I think they gave the host a valium on the break.

Oh No.....

They are cutting 6!

Who will kick who?

Who will wish death on the other?

They sure know how to put on a smilie face.....I would be effing pissed..... and that Miss Utah should have worn a bikini.... she just got kicked off!

And then she got down on the floor and did push ups ..... who does she think she is?

Jack Palance?

EVENING WEAR!

But a commercial break first!

I went today to meet with some friends that I had not hung out with since 1986!

Holy shit.... that sounds like forever!

I was a bit pee-my-pants excited!

I met Chrissie and Regan at Slainte in Hamilton....we sat and talked and laughed for 3 hours..... god the names that they were coming up with and the stuff they remembered made me gobsmacked.

I am so glad that we met...I wanted to post a picture of us together from 1986 but I could not find one....and I took my camera to take a pic of now but forgot to put batteries in....ass.

Anyhow.....I had a fab time you guys!

Cannot wait for next time!

Commercial break over!

All of the parents are onstage for the final part.....like there isn't enough pressure... Mama Rose is onstage.

Oh that first dress is lovely! 

But Miss Texas' dress is a green kermit-the-frog mess...with panels and god knows what else.

Georgia got fake boobies, I thinkie.

Oh... and so does Indiana.

Those 40 women on the stage are just the whole experience and they are sitting with Clinton, the mean guy, during the evening wear part....you know they are just cutting the crap out of all those dresses.......Oh I am exhausted!

 I don't know it I can make it through the rest!

I just lost interest....I wish there was pizza.

And chips.

And Dip.

mmmmmmm.

I am turning it.....the pagent is outdated and it bores me now.....ooooh Austin Powers.

 Okay....then I turned it back on when George took Otto out  to walk......Miss Texas was doing jazz on pointe.....to the Rich Man's Frug from Sweet Charity.....what the fuck is Jazz on POINTE>>>>>it is bad.....that is what it is....the next girl is playing the violin.....oh shit here comes George!

Sweatin' to Oldies

So, I go to a bikram yoga class.......

With my friend Thom, .....

Do you know what bikram is?

It is an hour and a half of yoga poses in a room that can go to 110 degrees......

Really......

Hot yoga, the younguns call it.

First of all, Thom got me all scared telling me how hard and challenging it was....and how it could make you feel dizzy and sick to your stomach and maybe a bit faint....

And after this conversation I got off the phone....I don't even think I sounded like I was willing by the end of the conversation.....and turned to my husband and told him that I thought that I might die.

Then I called my friend Vicki.....she is a choreographer and a dancer.......she sounded skeptical and started to tell me how she went and because she is all a dancer , she pushed herself way hard.....and then she went home with a migrane and projectile vomited.....well.....aweseome.

I was actually quite scared by the time I got the studio .....and we had to go to a late class so the place was packed....about 35 people.....

All pretty much naked.

Really.

I was wearing pants and two tank tops and it looked like I was in a parka compared to everyone else....

There was a dude in a man bikini.....

And all I could think of as I watched him standing front and centre with his spray-on tan was.....

You come here to be naked and in your speedo .....and you have an excuse....

did I mention people were pretty much NAKED!!

I walked into the room to put my matt down before we started....to save my place and all.....and when I felt the wave of heat and the breathed in the humidity.......

I started to panic, but just a bit.

Then when we all got in the room and it was just jam packed.....

I panicked a bit more.....

Then the lady asked who was new to the class and 2 of us put up our hands....she said the most important thing was to not leave the room....it would be bad for your heart and is disruptive to the class.......so try and tough it out for the.....

HOUR AND HALF!

AHHHHHHH!

I was already sweating and trying not to run screaming from the room.....fighting the fight or flight instinct.

It was hard!

So, about ten minutes into the class.......a dude ran out....he just wanted OUT and someone in the class asked him to not leave the room....not even the teacher....you could tell he was freakin' a bit....then the teacher tried to talk him out of it...

LET THE POOR GUY GO FOR GODS SAKE!

I laid down about 5 times.....I felt sick about the same amount and felt like I was gonna pass out only once.

Not bad, eh?

There was a point when I was wrapped up in some position and the teacher said not to think badly of the person who brought you.....I looked at Thom....

he pretended not to notice.

But I made it....cue all of the applause.....I think that the hardest thing was trying to just be easy on myself and not try to push myself too hard....and honour when I had to stop....and really,  just to try not to run out of the room.

I sweat so much that my clothes weighed about 10 pounds and my hair was soaked....

but let me tell you something....

when it was done.....

this felt better than doing a great opening night show.

It felt like I had done something athletic, which has never been my forte....

and that I had conquered a fear....

And that I am a sweating machine.

So,.......

I went back today at noon.....yup I did!

I am nothing if not obsessive.....

And guess what........I did awesome...I only laid down twice......

and think I did  well on the poses for a beginner...

Although I got there early to get a good spot and this lady came in just as we started and stood right in front of me in the mirror....I wanted to say something but I thought that wouldn't be very yoga-ie of me.

I am proud and I only hurt a bit......I think I will do it again.

Doesn't that sound cracked?

Trading Spouses.....

Just a thought!

Have you ever watched Trading Spouses?

Oh my lord!

It is sooooooooo good!

Oh my dear lord...... it is 250 shades of wrong!

And if this in wrong I don't want to be right!

They always put a new age person from the north with a christian from the deep south and just back up and let the hilarity ensue.

There was a woman on this week who was so freakin' scary..... she was from Louisiana and was so crazy and so afraid that she was being possessed by the dark side ........ because the people in the family were astrologists ......  and the first place she felt the devil was.....drumroll please.... 

the dryer that made a clunking noise....... 

it scared her so much that she puked in the garden.

Oh god your guys......tune in.

National Velvet......

So!!!!

My BFF Thom and I got together tonight for the first time in a while......wanna know how gay we are?

We listened to broadway  showtunes on my MAC...really!

Then we felt the ennui and decided that we needed to go see some trash movie.....

enter 

National Treasure: Book of Secrets!

Oh my.....did all of these actors take this movie because they were told that the other actors were taking it.....

Helen Mirren: Oh well, Ed Harris is in it.

Ed Harris: Well, Helen Mirren is in it.

Nicholas Cage: Why did I get a face job and plugs?

Oh my ......

What the fuck happened to Nick Cage?!!!!!

Thom mentioned that he heard he had work but holy shit.....everytime the camera got close everyone in the theatre winced!

Nothin' about him looked real...which made me sad because he looked like he might be down to earth.

Anyhow...Thom and I got there just before the movie started and sat beside a family of four who had obviously gotten there early to get a good seat....the daughter and son looked like they were totally doing this to make their parents happy.....then just as the lights went down and the movie started the tallest ....I know I have a tendency to exaggerate sometimes but this time not......THE TALLEST man I have ever seen walked into the theatre.....it is like when you are on the plane and seated and the seat next to you is empty and someone walks down the aisle with a new born.....you are praying that they sit with the big dude in front of you.......so back to the movie theatre.....we all just cringe and wait....then he sits his huge self right in front of the daughter....and I lean forward and have to cover my mouth....they rearrange all of their family seating and then the worlds tallest dude gets up and changes his seat....the son leans forward and turns to Thom and I and in his best stage whisper says " That guys was like seven feet tall, right?"

Oh my....laughter ensued.

The movie made me laugh and yawn just a bit....but I was with Thom so we made our own fun talking about how snatched Helen Mirren looked.......how unbelievable the Jon Voight is still out there workin......how good looking Ed Harris is with his texan accent.....

At the end I guess we might have talked too loud because the guy sitting directly in front of Thom and I stood in front of us for all of the credits....he was the last one in the theatre.

Fun killer.

So much coffee.....

I have spent alot of my time at coffee shops this week!

That is how I know I am on an, almost, vacation.

Not really though...I am writing and editing footage on my Mac.

It still makes me poop my pants that I can edit on my MAC.

Met my friend Deb at the Remarkable Bean in the beaches.....or is it the beach......the people down there are a bit particular about that....

I lived in the Beaches....that is my choice....for one year and only one year.....I thought that it would be a dream .. but it was ass-ie......... I have never seen so many yuppies in my life!

You had to have a baby carriage and a dog to live down there....oh and alot of fleece ....oh ya and the weirdest part of all....I have never seen so many white people in my life....it took me about 2 weeks to figure out what was so different then it hit me as I was walking down the street drinking my Starbucks.....

"There is no cultural diversity down here!"

Not even close.

And the house we lived in had a questionable family living in the downstairs apartment.

One of their bastard children stole George's bike out of the garage.

I still hate that family a bit.

Is that wrong.

Where was I?

The Remarkable Bean....

My friend Deb and I did 'Bye Bye Birdie ' at Leah Poslun's in the early 90's.....and if that doesn't take you back......I played .....what was her name.....Ursula?.....anyway the character was 17...that was the last time I played anything under 25...I wished someone would have told me...I would have enjoyed it.

Deb and I are 19 years older.....that makes me shit my pants....

Then I went to Starbucks to meet my new friend Patricia....she is a fancy actress......she was on the Jane Show....I liked that show.....fucking cancelled...anyhow....Patricia and I were surrounded by some strange people....did you ever really notice what weird-ies hang around coffee shops......besides myself that is......people who chat with themselves....ya know.....I am not feeling that funny today....I cannot think of one funny thing to say....I am just rambling on about nothing....usually I can come up with a theme or a dirty joke or something.

Wow.......I hope I didn't lose my funny.

ENCHANTED, I'm sure.

So, I tried to see Enchanted on Saturday night....I have gayly been waiting to see it since it came out but with the 400 Wizard of Oz'z and the Sharron's Parties I had to wait.....so  George and I are on our way there...we had to drive to the Golden Mile at Warden and Eglinton...near the old hood...feels far as France now....and in the car I feel a bit off...but we arrive late...surprise... and have crappy seat choices because it is packed....I am immediately angry at everyone who is in the cineplex for not seeing the movie earlier.....we end up getting seats in the back beside a woman who has taken a whole bottle of the Giorgio knock off and poured it all over herself.....and then bought the biggest tub of popcorn in the land....that is not a the best combination of smells in the world......then the movie does some visual dips and dives and I turn to George and tell him....

"We have to go"

"What?"

"We have to go."

"Why?"

"Because I am gonna puke."

Everyone out of the pool.....nothing makes a person move faster than the threat of vomit.

George, having been with me for 15 years, knows that I can spew with the best of 'em so he gets me the fuck out of there.

I was super sad.

I really wanted to see it.

Then !

He took me to the Scotia on Monday to the biggest theatre to see it.

We love him....he watched the first part twice.

He must truly love me.

I LOVED IT!

I could not be gayer for it!

I loved everything about it,

I loved that Amy Adams......can you believe that Idina Menzel was in a musical movie and didn't sing.....though she can do no wrong by me, in the beginning she was doing some big MT acting but she managed to dial it back a bit.....don't you think?

I liked McDreamy....when he sang that little bit I cried ....eff you judgers!

I did not like Susan Sarandon's platform shoes......they were too Paul Stanley from 'Kiss'..she should have had a high thin heel.

And George thought that they could have done a better job on James Marsden's hair.....hmm....really George?

But other than that......

GAY FOR IT!!!!

Thoughts?

Anyone Can Whistle

What a lovely night!

Anyone Can Whistle at the Diesel......

The whole community in one place at one time...alot of gay and alot of energy and alot of people needing attention......most of all me.....I need alot of attention....ask George.

I love Sondheim......I don't know that show that well......during the second act I couldn't believe the hits!

'Oh, that is from this show!'

I said that about 3 times.

I love me some Blythe Wilson!

She can do no wrong by me....there is a place I go when I watch other ladies perform.....and sometimes when they are just turning it out I get a bit jealous....just being honest people.....then if they are just so individually good, something that is singular and awesome.... I transcend right past jealous to....wow...right on sister.....I ain't even jealous....that is where I go with dear Blythe...she is some good.

 ( I also feel that way about the lovely Corrie Koslo...who was not in Anyone Can Whistle....I just felt it bared mentioning.) 

And the young Adam Brazier in between rehearsals for WWRY and this....he was fresh as a daisy......the consummate leading man.......you know who made me laugh till I almost peed......

Juan Chioran.....fuck he was funny......gave me 3 of the best laughs that I have had in a while.

It was all good....Jon Munroe, Mark Harapiak...OHHHH and wait....

How much do I adore Kate Hennig!

I did a show with her up in London at the Grand a few years back and just enjoyed her so much....she is Old school good.....like the Divas of Broadway .....ballsy, brash, belty and hot! I am not jealous of her either...okay just a bit....she rocks it.

She was awesome!

As you can see I really enjoyed myself.....all the younguns were really great too.

One of the them came up to me after the show and called me .....

Ms. Matthews.....can you take it.....made me feel important and a bit ashamed of feeling important a moment later.

I had a great night and I got to wear my bright pink, leopard skin pony boots!!!!

What a night!