Idol

kay....my fave thing that has happened to me sinceI woke about 20 minutes ago?? I went to read my morning internet papers....because I am nothing if not current.....and I saw an ad for the American Idol live tour...presented by.....are you sitting....Pop Tarts....ahhh.....made me giggle on th inside cause I still am sleepy.

Summer?

Am I the only grown up that watched...alright...PVR'ed the MTV movie awards?

I like that Sarah Silverman....she a bit dirty....didn't look all that comfy on the screen....she looked like a bit of a linebacker waiting fo her cues...but god bless her....she told all of those horrible Paris Hilton jokes....with Paris right there......if you don't know what I am talkin' about Youtube it....funny....and then Will Ferrell and the fricken' Borat guy...do not like him.....kissed...it was dirty....though it made me laugh like a whore........I had to call George in Halifax to tell him ....hate to share a funny alone.....

One of my blog peeps emailed me.....

I am a bit excited.....

So...

If you go to

hairspraymovie.com....

and then go to photogallery.......

.....

look at the picture of Jerry Stiller ....

there I am in a pink wig right behind him!!!

That is a bit encouragin'...

This week Sharron's Party is movin on up to Perth again.....

The people of the small town will once again be slightly titilated by my very....very little...potty mouth...gotta pull in back again when I go outta town sometimes....but what a great place to work!

Thom is coming with and we have another guest, an old college friend,

Mike Dwyer and we will be doin' a real Sharron's Party....fun...

And tomorrow night I am workin' at the Glenn Gould Studio....

Fancy...

Do a benifit for Sistering.....

Called Funny Girls and Dynamic Divas....

Fun, eh?

Patrick is coming with...it will be all chicks but him....

No joke here....but just think about that...

See.....Patrick is in charge of my boobs!
GREAT show!
We had a packed house and I thought that Hotel California was the best!!! It was scary...oooohhhh!!!!
Fun was had by all!
Rick Miller...awesome...he killed....he had to come back up for and encore...he too funny!
And Brianna was lovely.....we were lucky to have her on the show.
Just spent 3 hours with a trainer for our 13.5 year old schnauzer....he is looking at me like the world is over.......he almost made it to the end with the bad behavior...but you can't have the bad barking in a condo....
We shall see......

Too Fricken long, eh?

Don't Jayne and I have funny faces?
I love this picture....oh dear....have you all stopped reading?
Have you?
Well.....I miss you guys....between sellin the house, movin, goin' to Halifax, starting the workshop at the Mirvishes....I am just wiped....I don't have a thing to say....well..I didn't.....now I am full of piss and vinegar....
The show is coming....
And so it is time again!!!
On Monday May 28th @ the Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West
Sharron's Party
on ON again!
It has been toooooo long!
So much has happened to Patrick and Sharron...you know how it goes....
And they have much to sing.. and tell you... and sing with you and.....Well, you get the "pic", right?
Ya know who is gonna be there?
Rick Miller!!!
You might know him from his international hit show
"Machomer" !!!
And do not forget
"Bigger Than Jesus"...
ooooh
what will he do?
What will he say...
And we will be announcing the summer line-up...which, I must say, is super exciting!
So, come on down....ya know...
doors @ 7:30pm and show at 8:00pm
and FUN
ALL the Damned time.
...only $15

And....besides that there is my happiness that summer is here....I have actually been auditioning for TV and Film...who knew....and whew....just writing that exhausted me....
I am doing a workshop of a musical version of
"Bittergirl"
between you and I am the other million people on the internet....
I think that it is gonna be good!!!!!
REal good!
Best script I have worked on in a new musical....it is very exciting....
I am working with he lovely Camilla Scott and the fantastic Karen LeBlanc and the still almost bald Adam Brazier....he does love that facebook!
Oh ya....
There is something new on the YOUtube....check it out!
Pooped!

Still out east

Okay...it hailed out here today....like end of the world hail.....isn't it May?

George says that the locals tell him this is the way the seasons go...

Summer....

Fall ....

Winter...

Fall....

Summer....

You get the picture?

NO SPRING!!!

George and I went with our Ulrich....and his friend Pete ....to Terrance Bay yesterday....nice little town....

in the cemetary that we visited....everyone had the same name........the whole town, mostly, still has the same name......hmm...

And they all say that they aren't related....

I pause and scratch my head.

I am having a great visit....wish that George was coming home with me...but we will percervere.....is that spelled right....wait....we know how I feel about spelling...

it is for pussies....

George's show is great.....Julie Martell is awesome....the whole cast is just lovely.......

I do love that show.

Anyhow....back to writing the May 28th show.

New Template better....

'Cause the old one sucked!!!

Man it is amazing what a good night of sleep can do.....I still feel a bit fragile from the move and all but I am gettin'my groove back on...not like Stella and her Groove....'cause that just turned out bad for Terry MacMillan.......if you don't know what I mean...trust me....it is funny...maybe not hahaha funny but titter funny at the least.....

I am soooooo happy to be with Georgie....he is dreamy....I came out of the plane..(where I sat beside "My Legs are too big for the plane" guy...he owes me at least $50 for sharing my space...ass).....and I was looking for George and I couldn't see him......and I was a bit sad.....then I heard our family whistle.....the one we use to find each other in Malls and other places with too many people....and there he was popping out from a pole and I ran at him like I was a teenager....I know I mentioned that yesterday but it bears mentioning again....then he brought me back to his apartment .....it is a building where all the university students live...I feel like I am a million years old....they look sooooo young and they like music that booms out the same bass line for a half and hour......I am old and crotchety..then last night I went to a bar with George and our friends Carla and her man David ( who helped with the nervous-breakdown-move) and Aviva....apps and wine.....me....drunk...after.....three sips.....and a bit belligerent....I have now made a small plan to be a bit drunk on and off here....is that wrong for a 38 year old woman???

....oh wait...I don't give a poopie......hahaahhaha!

out east

Here I am ....in Halifax.....so glad that I am finished with our house and getting into our new place...holy crap ....do you know about taking off wallpaper??? Holy poopie......this wallpaper was stuck to the wall with spunk or something and then they painted over it......After the show on the 16th... I got up all bright and early....7:00am people!!!! ....and went to my new place and wet down the wall, waited and ripped away a piece the size of a nickel and had a nervous breakdown.....I grossly over estimated the scope of my abilities and underestimated the amount of work that I had to do...called George in Halifax and cried like a baby....he called our friends Cory and David ...I called Patrick....and my mother to take care of sweet, sweet Otto............and we worked our asses off...we pulled a couple almost all nighters.....if we heard that fricken Girlfriend song by Avril one more time....I was gonna puke....Cory actually came up with a little dance.....and as a singin'...dancin''......contactor he is somethin'else.....Then blogger Kevin came to help with the move.....thank god......all his portugese strength came out in full force....the movers were Russian and kinda treated me like the little woman....we all know how much I love that.....so ......I am slowly unpacking......and having a full out street fight with freakin' Rogers phone.... oh dear lord.....they suck.....big balls.....smelly ones.....George and I ...mostly George ....has spent over 12 hours...I shit you not....on the phone with them..... I hate them....but finally a process that started in January has just finished......frick....I have celebrated with chips....alot of chips...that has gotta stop.......but I am here with my George....I love him....he makes me smile....when I saw him at the airport I ran at him like he was my highschool boyfriend.......and "Hey, Hey, You, You, You Don't Need a Girlfriend"..... see how I return to the comedy?

HAAA!

Bye Melissa S........BYE!

It was a happy moment in my Pussy Cat Dolls life because she was a particular bitch last night on the show....I actually had it set to tape on Wednesday but due to the fact that I found a new show last night...

I saw it....

And I couldn't have been more excited!

I am a total gaylord!

Loved it....I didn't think Chelsea sang good enough to stay.....

Ah well.

I hope Melissa R....

who will hence forth just be known as Melissa because that other bitch is gone....

I hope Melissa...

WINS~

And....

the Party was awesome...

we were packed and George Randolf came.

I haven't seen him since my high cut bodysuit, legwarmer, dance class days.

I loved his classes!

Who else.....Kyle came all the way from Barrie...sweet..

Stuart Dowling was there....love him..

Charlotte Moore....Susan Henley....who caled to say

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants".

I think THAT should be our new tagline!

....who else....

A whole bunch of new people and the favourite regulars......I loved it!!!

I sang....I danced..... I cried....I made fun of Patrick....who dressed up like a motherfucker....he looked AWESOME!

......He made fun of me......Kristina was excellent!....she rode her bike with all of her stuff on her back......

Jayne Lewis...class and style personifed....and a bitch of a singer to boot!

Oh....everyone had a great time...it seemed!

Off to peel wallpaper.

Boogie Nights...let's get down!

Do you like the new template!!!
I am unsure......but I am sure about Party ...tomorrow night!! Oh I am all tired of floggin'......But it will be a blast!
Jayne Lewis.....Kristina Uranowski........and little ole me and the Patrick!!
Fun...we'll be havin'..................
Gonna go write a game!

hurry ...hurry.....hurry

Okay.....busy as shit.....new place needs paint....old place needs to be cleaned out....

Have the big show on Monday....it has been alot of shows since I have been so gay about all of the material!!

But things need to be said!

Weather=Sucks

Tyra.....not being filmed from the waist down....hmm..what is with the whole fuckin' gypsy look?

I mean....if you are gaining weight the best way to cover it up is blouse and cinch???

NOT!

I know....I've been there done that.....and put on the too tight baby T!

And thank god Whitney is gone....oh excuse me....Whitelle...lame.....but luckily Tyra ...in her infinite wisdom....told her that she was a great actress....Look out world!

Oh...and I must have missed the season with the flesh eater and the crazy fainter...

Where the fuck was I....

Alright I have to think of a new story for the top of the second set.....

BUT WAIT!!!

That bitch Melissa S. better watch the fuck out!!!

Chelsea is gonna be a Pussy Cat Doll!

Maybe Melissa R......

They call it Pussy Cat Dolls....

not watered down, Bitchy, Cupie Dolls....

alright......gotta go!

Packin......and Practicing!

Oh.....I am sitting in a house full of boxes....oh.....it makes me feel a bit Sanford and Son.

Thom came over and we packed....thanks to the sweet gods for him....he did the kitchen.....He is good at it!

We laughed and planned to take over the world, like always...

Okay...

I am fricken done with this ass weather....I want fricken spring and I want it now!!!

NOW!

Other than that....just waiting for the Pussy Cat Dolls show tonight...I took Amazing Race off the PVR and ER....who knew.....I have watched ER since the beginning of time!

But...

Ohh..

It tried to be Greys Anatomy and failed somethin' awful!

And rehearsin the show for Monday!!!

Very excited!

Doing some great new stuff.....

So....here I am at the "Battle of the Belt"....which was at the Diesel Playhouse....so the show started at 10:15pm.....Patrick and I are too old for that!

We have to be getting our beauty sleep!!!

Anyhow...there was alot of Belting.....it really took me back to school!

Which was abut 18 years ago.....holy shit.

Anyhow....young Kelly Wong took this pic of me...so I thought why not share????

Lots of Dots.......

I felt a million years old...

Three of my songs got sung....

I guess that I have to find new material....

There is something to be said for youth and being invincable...

And excited....

I enjoyed them all ...but....

I quite loved Kristina Uranowski and Nancy Silverman....oh ya.. ...And Ari Weinberg......One of a kind....sang "Blow, Gabriel, Blow"...complete with choreo......and a spangliy shirt from Body-Body...he said he got 2 for 1.....that made me laugh.....

OH man!!!

I effin' love those whorish Pussy Cat Dolls...oh man you guys I cannot get enough!!! It is scary..... bypassed every other show on the PVR... there is alot....I am very busy my peeps...so I have alot to watch...but I was eatin' my chicken breast....cause I am trying to remain in my bodies good graces with George gone I am cookin for myself...scary.....and watchin' those chicks sing Toni Braxtons' "Unbreak My Heart"...while undulating ...ON A POLE !!!
Does it get any better!!!!
Does it??
I am going right now to pick between ANTM and Lost and Friday Night Lights!!!
Loser!

What a bad blogger...

So......here I am at the Rocky midnight show.....my hair just would not work....I swear to the sweet baby Jeepers that I tried and tried and then I had to pull it the fuck up and go.....what a two hours....people were hard core there...I didn't even see the show.....I ws so tired at the end of the two hours that I put on my full length fun fur coat ( Surabaya!) and limped off home in my red high heels and fishnets....I looked like the last prostitute on her way home..

...I have been a bad blogger.......it has been busy....I hope that they three of you are still reading!!!!

Did you guys see on my Facebook that Paul Bulter has issued a challenge??? He is seen in a picture wearing his Sharron's Bitch T-shirt at one of my fave places....Marie's Crisis Cafe in New York City......where can you be seen in yours? I think it is a fab idea.... I am gonna bring it up at the show!! Which is two weeks away....I am already planning!!

Alright.....I am doing a benefit called "Battle Of the Belt " on the 6th....it looks interesting....you can find out about it on Facebook!

Facebook......fancy and easy to use.....

America's Next Top Model.....AWESOME!!!! That Renee??? CRAZY!!!! And Jael.......crazier.....and Jasmine.....talks like she is deaf.....am I wrong?

Stopped watching American Idol when the young kid wore a mohawk and Lakisha stole my fricken' closin song.....I told you I didn't trust her

Weather nice...

So, I am hosting the party...tee hee hee..the Party tonight for the midnight showing of Rocky Horror at Canstage...

What will that be like?

I wonder...

I have an excellent F%$k off outfit that I got from Pam Chorley's Fashion Crimes today!

I love it ...

Who will be there....

Will Tyra be there?

Those girls on this cycle of ANTM and totally

effed.

That girl Jael is like two steps from rehab and that Renee???

I wonder if they watch it later and think " Wow, I looked effed and oh that is why I didn't win."

And she (Crazy Tyra) is just keepin' that Diana girl in cause she is big......

You can be big and have style....she looks like she just rolled out of bed, for shit sakes.

And Idol...

Well....I tape it and then watch two seconds of each performer and then fast forward to the comments..

Ahh.....

Sanjaya...

hahahhahahahahah!

I love it!

And the girl they just voted off...I agree with ....her voice was a little too halting for me.

But Pussycat Dolls....

LOVE IT!!!

So trashy and skanky.....

The Mikey guy who helps choreo...

he said "The dolls are classy not trashy"

And two seconds later they had all the contestants dancing in a go go room with a two way window!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I

Love

it!

What the $%^&??????

So, my G-man is gone away on the big birdy to the eastern seaboard....wasn't that alot in one sentence?

And anyone who is taking that as a cue to break into my house and mess with me.....my dog will eat you alive...not to mention that I will fuck you up!

Ah, so filled with enui....probably spelled wrong but I am sad ...so if you are judging my spelling at a time like this.....

bite it.....

ooooh a bit bi-polar......

I am so filled with the melancoly that I ate a full bag of wavy lays with a goodly portion of "Helluva Good Dip"...cause is there anything better......and now I have birthday party stomach....

Better than that...whenever Georgie goes away Otto...my dog....gets really weird.....

This time he paced around the bed from 3:00am to 4:00am this morning.

At the 3:00am side I was sad for him and understanding.

At the 4:00am side I was screaming out how I would come over there and give him something to cry about.

( If you are from PETA..that was only used for comic purposes)

Then I wake and start this new day....go into the office to stretch and check the email.....oh look...

right in the corner of the white carpet.

A protest poo.

That is what we like to call them.

They are just there to remind you that Otto is pissed....

or pooed.

What a way to start the morning.

Otto had already made a break for it downstairs.

Ho hum.

The day before George left he went for a haircut and I went with him....with the phantom shitter dog....

and the hairdresser thought he was so cute....

that she cut his eyebrows so he could see better.

That Otto leads qite the life, huh?

Well...

What a show!!!!

What a night!!!!!

The people...Jayne Lewis and Victor Young...I think of them as one of the royal couples of musical theatre....director and writer Mary Francis Moore was back.... playwright Alison Lawrence....promoter Shtephen Shin......artistic director Mitchell Marcus....director Tim French.....wow....you just never know who you are gonna see..really!

I had such a great time and loved my dresses and I had straight hair and everyon told me that I looked thin....I think that it was the hair.

We had a whole new design to the room....coolio!

And Zachary Florence just wowed everyone with his composing skills and wit.......

Mr. Lee MacDougall made a stir with his two segments ......one was a comedy bit and he second was a intertretation of one of his short stories......he had everyone spellbound!

I felt very lucky to have them.

So....onward and upwards.

I forgot to mention that youn Kyle Golemba....card bitch extraodinaire is have a cabaret in the Art Bar at the Gladstone!

THIRD TIME'S A CHARM.

Sunday, March 25 at 8pm

Gladstone Hotel Art Bar
Gladstone/Queen W
$10.
Featuring yours truly ( KYLE!).
Musically directed and accompanied by Adam White.
Special guests...Colleen Sheehan.
Kritty Uranowski.
Bryce Kulak.

A totally fun night of music in a new venue. Check it out!

I do so enjoy him......he is so.....Brad Pitt-y and a great storyteller......I am gonna tell that man my dates in advance.....because if we overlap all of my love will go south pretty fast.

Funny that.

Ya wanna hear my favourite comment from Monday night?

" You are like, Megan Mullaly....and Kristen Chenoweth....with a dash of Trailer Trash."

Hmm.... I took it as a compliment!

Don't Forget!

Do Not Forget Daylight Savings....

Or I will come over there and.........

Almost one more day till the show....

We have so much new stuff......I always feel like it is opening.

Goin' to Fashion Crime right now.

Woo Hoo

THE PARTY!!

It has been super busy and I miss you all!

I hope you are comin'.....where you ask?

WELL!

All filled with blah?
Oscars over.... and you don't know where to go for your dose of drama and fabulousness?
Don't Forget!
This Monday the 12th @ 8:00pm
(doors @ 7:30pm)
Sharron's Party
@ the Gladstone 1214 Queen Street West!
We welcome
Mr. Lee MacDougall
writer, actor and fabulous Party guest!
And Movin' On Up to the Party
Mr. Zachary Florence
composer and storyteller.
Oh ya.....
And ME!!!
And Patrick!!!!
Don't be blah!
Let us be ....what?
FABULOUS!
What will the sing along be..hmmm....I don't know ...but it might have been sung by the soon to be
ex
Mrs. Bobby Brown!

It's Back!!!!

Oh ya......America's Next Top Model.....oh my god.....I hate Tyra yet I have to watch this show....it is a joke that I have heard 100 times yet I still cannot wait for the crappy punch line.
The girls....they kicked out that great girl from the Bronx....who couldn't speak english!!! She was my fave....
Then there is crazy Renee...she about to crack and have a nervous breakdown.......
And all the regulars.... Miss Jay.....he is a man who refers to himself constantly as a woman....how did he get by without a blink of the eyes on crazy U.S. Tv???? No one says anything....he was lead onto set ths week by the marines!!!!
Don't ask...don't tell.....but for god sakes do not ask!
And other Jay......who walked out of a gay Ken and Barbie box....because he is the perfect mix of both...I kinda like him....as a friend....I am not an ass.
Then....Tyra....wooooooh...her head isn't gonna fit in a room soon...and she acts like Mother Theresa because she has 2, count em, 2 plus size models on the show.
"Oh thank you Tyra"
All because of that whole "America's Next Top Waddle " deal ....don't pander to us, please....just cause you wanna be current!!!!
Lord , I cannot stand her and there I am ....taping it on the PVR!
And Idol.
Well, I like about 5 of the girls...and the other girls on the show are watching those 5 girls and saying
" Damn...they are awesome...I guess I'll sing Celine Dion"
What? Yes, the best thing to do as a new singer is sing Celine or Whitney....ug.
And Paula...drunk and had her lips done.
Oh yes....they fill me with the passion.
I think Lakisha had balls tosing "I'm Tellin' You" but no the right ones...I think she was trying to prove what????
She is better that an Oscar nominee?
So what...make your own name, girl!