Otto + Chicken = Trouble

Oh yesssss.....

Daddy please.....

Just one little bit....

Just the skin part......

Oh I am sooooo tired but...

There is chicken.......

I am so cute, aren't I.....I know I am a bit stinky, but hey, I am 14 fricken years old.....

Why must you keep it from me .....the special meat?

Mommy....

Wait! My ass smells heavenly......

CHICKEN~!

That Otto has quite a vocabulary.

2 things....

ANTM Cycle 9......looks just so promising......there is a girl named....

are you ready?.....

Spontanoiuse.....

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

It just looks like it will be delicious.

And the next thing....Survivor.....

AWESOME!

Speaking of Chicken.....

GONE!!!!!!

The Party's Over.......

How tiny is this picture....I am still too tired to make it any bigger....I tried some others...but god bless you all who took them......the angle was bad for my ego or they were, believe it or not....smaller.

Oh my.......I cannot believe that we are done at he Gladstone....I say that with sadness and a bit of creative relief.

I look forward to utilizing all of the material that I have written and songs that were arranged for the version that will be on the road and that we will bring back to Toronto to a bigger theatre.....Yes my friends....that is the plan.....I am gonna use the road to finesse and then the Party will re-emerge when you least expect it....

Woo hoo.

But back to the night of September 17th....

What a NIGHT!

We were so worried about everyone fitting but, of course, in the back of my head 'what if no one came'?

Well, Sean from LKTYP was in line reading the Now mag at 6:00pm.....new record and I love him for it.....it was very soon after that the line started to grow and by 7:00pm it was around the corner... 'Sharron's Bitch' t-shirts were everywhere!

At 8:00pm they came and told me....well 'they' was George....that I couldn't come down yet because they were still letting people in....2 at a time....and it was too many people for me to go down and say 'hi' to at this late time.....I always love that.....

But it was 230 people.

Yup....you read that right!

And we decided that this night would have not guests and be all Me.

Patrick and I would celebrate the two years and then show the audience and ourselves what it would be like on the road.

It was cool.....I did three songologues.

One was the first I wrote ....called 'My Name is Sharron Matthews and I love Britney Spears' and another was called 'Highschool Dancing' and it has me ending with 'I Will Survive'....

Ending with a disco tune never fails....

It was an amazing night....so many faces that I love and so many that have been such wonderful supporters.....

I felt very blessed and proud.

The CD Party Girl was released and we sold almos 100 copies!!!

Woo Hoo!!!!

I am really proud of it.....Patrick produced it and did a wonderful job.

And now.....on to the new life of 'Sharron's Party' and whatever is next.....I am very excited and have a whole bunch of new ideas rolling around my head...who knows what I will do next...but one thing is for sure.....the Party will keep on going.

On Monday September 24th I am doing a show called

' A Little Help From My Friends'

for Mitchell Marcus.....

Here is the webpage.......

http://www.actingupstage.com/index2.html

So, check that out....

George is in it and Thom and Steve Gallagher....to name a few.....

and October the 11th I am in Kingston...check out my website.....

And the next day I start 'Wizard' ......wowie....wow.

So, I am movin' on out.....but to where?

That is the exciting part.

Don't stop reading Bloggers....we are just beginning.

Too Long....

Holy crap you guys!

It has been toooo long ...are you still there?

I am so excited and this has been such and awesome time.....and of course I feel that it was important enough to tell the whole interweb!

We spent long days and nights working on the Cd with Patrick as the producer......oh my, but I am really happy with the whole thing......it is fun and funny and I don't sound too bad.....if I do say so myselF....

Sharron...

that does not sell CD's.....

It sounds AWESOME!

We will release it @ the last Sharron's Party on

Monday September 17th......

ahhh the last party....

sigh....

sad and happy...

we have bookings all over Ontario over the next 4 months and have already done two.....

We were in Brampton...where the audience was 17 years old to 80....not lying....I asked right away if I could say cocksucker.....

that seems to be the barometer for the evening for me....isn't my mother proud?

Last night we hauled our cookies up to Waterloo for their subscriber night...

the Waterloo Entertainment Centre just bought 8 months of Sharron's Party with extra shows @ Christmas and New Years....once a month just like here......

It is super exciting that the AD up there wants to build an audience!

The lovely Barb Barsky was there....she is doing Master Class...and her husband Marek....who I love....was playing piano for her when she sang "Infinite Joy"....ah that song is nice.

Jean Stillwell was there....singing pretty and lookin' fierce...as was her accompanist Patti Loach....she cool.....

Young Ari Weinberg was singing from Bunnicula....which they are also doing there.....

then I brought up the rear with some Britney Spears and Pussy Cat Dolls....I am nothing if not fancy.....

You guys....I am so excited about the 17th....

here is the info from my webpage and Facebook

Can you believe it?
One more show!!!
And that night 'Sharron's Party' is full of things that are awesome.....
The Cd 'Party Girl' will be released....it will hot off the fricken press...
Our last 'Party' ...for a while at least, while we spread the funny and the potty mouth to the rest of the world...... starting with Ontario.....
We will tell you what is next for us!
And most importantly.....It is my BIRTHDAY!
What a day....what a day!
Patrick is exhausted by my excitement already!
So, come on down to the
Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West
on Monday September 17th.....
.....come early.....we will make you comfy and happy!
The doors will be @ 7:30pm and the show @ 8:00pm...
And what a night we have planned.....
You don't know what is gonna happen.
Surprises.....prizes......other things that rhyme with those two words...
Come hear new things and all of your favourite old things that you have been waiting to hear again!
What will I wear...who will you see....ah....who knows....but come be a part of something we plan to make a very special celebration of our two years
of Sharron's Party!

Write me, you guys, if you are still reading.....I am lovin' the bloggers....even when I am not bloggin'!

The Party.....The Rose Theatre...and what else?

What fun we had!!!!

My fave party yet!

I just love the different-ness of it everytime.....

As they say...you will never be more beautiful than you are at this moment.....

Or wait.....did Brad Pitt say that in the blockbuster movie 'Troy'....

anyhow.....

That is how I feel about the show.....it is of the moment....that is my favourite part!

We were packed.....I cannot even tell you how many people were there but it was more than ever.....

Neil Barclay from the Shaw.....Laurie Lynd who directed me....fancy huh?.....in the BBC mini-series 'I was a Rat' with Brenda Fricker...she was a bit rude to me..I digress......

Mitchell Marcus of Acting Up Stage........my husband George Masswohl.....thank god....Susan Gilmour....oh I just love her......

it was SRO, baby.....

and , most happily, no one complained about standing....

The guests were wonderful.....most excellent in the inteview, which is always great......

Ari.....funny, yet, poignant....

Gabi.....bundle of dynamite....

Blythe......well...what can you say....she is one of my favourite singers.....and she was so funny...even when she talked about her pee-pee dress....

FUNNY!!!

I am so excited about next month.....

And about

This Tuesday August 28th

Sharron's Party will be @

The Rose Theatre in Brampton!!!!

Call The Rose Theatre Box Office @ 905-874-2800
Rose Theatre Brampton
1 Theatre Lane
Brampton, ON
L6V 0A3
or go to the website and check it out!

http://www.rosetheatre.ca/ALTdot-aug28.tm

Anyhow ......I hope you all are well and read happily....

soon!

Beach and Mr. Brightside

Hey Blogging Peeps!
How is the summer shaping up? George is home, so all is happier and fabulous with me....he is tired from all of the.....Halifax-ing....they do know how to get down out there.
And by "get down" I mean party....but I hate saying party like a hoser....ya know.....
Well.....Georgie and I just got back from two glorious days of lying on the beach at Port Dover.....we had such a great time....the weather was great and we swam and ate everything that was deep fried or came in a cone....wow...I gotta drink some slim fast for a couple of days!
We showed up at the Lighthouse Festival and snuck around till we found David Nairn and Norm Foster ......then they gave us tickets to the night show of "The Long Weekend".....we actually had to perch on the top of two folding chairs to see the show but we didn't care....we loved it and laughed and then went across the street to a place called Lightning Jacks ....I asked for a Pina Colada because they said those two words alot in the show, and the bartender looked at me like I had ordered a glass of poop......she gave me a cooler that put hair on my chest instead......
Hey...someone wrote to James, who is in charge of all the Youtube stuff, and asked if we could put Mr. Brightside on the site because they were sure that is was in the same show as "Gloria"...so we must have footage.......now let me see....I don't remember what is in the last show......this person has my deep admiration and thanks for caring!
And I mean it!!!
Here is the link for anyone who wants to know...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kssaQFynPmw

I am off to my dear friend Ryan's wedding tomorrow....he is marrying the very sweet and lovely Kerry.....I have known them both since she was 16 ...how crap ....and he was 21....isn't that sweet!!!!!!
They asked me to sing and I said yes....they are so dear....but don't tell them but I am always a bit afraid of singing at weddings .....here is why.....I am weepy.....at the very best of times.....I mean when am fully rested and everyone is well and I am not on my period I cry watching "So You Think You Can Dance".......( though...can I say....I thought the "Flower Number" by Mia Micheals was a bit much....)...so...I am always afraid that I will just become worked up and cry like a baby....and contary to what you all might think about me.....it is not always about me....I know!.....surprising.
Anyhow...here is to hoping that I don't ball like a prom queen.
I do love weddings....the food, the dancing....drinking my weight!

All so exciting!

Mary Kay and Party and.....tired!

Thanks Erika for this shot!!!!

Well, I had a great time at the Party!

We were PACKED again!

I am always amazed at the people...it makes me sooo happy to see the newbies and always happy to welcome back the return "Bitches" with opened-beglamoured-arms!

We had to hire Ari Weinberg as a "Candy Bitch" due to the fact that someone almost go killed with a stray ring pop at the June show.

Nancy Silverman can belt man....it is impressive!

She did a grand job.

Her father Sheldon won a prize for knowing that John Travolta starred in a movie called "Moment by Moment"....and furthermore that he played a character called "Sunset Strip" in same movie....wow....that is quite a knowledge.

And Steven Gallagher.....what can you say.....he is one of my all time favourite performers....really.

He sang a song that our friend Neil Bartram wrote for him...it was so lovely....oh boy...I am just gay for him.

And in our crowd.....well the fabulous younguns...always love them.....

Sean Reycraft the writer, Chris Levins the actor.....Paul Hemrond the fabu agent, Dmitry Chepovetsky from Regenesis...ooohh...he brought me huge orange gladiolas....I am probably spelling names wrong...and I am pretty sure that I spelt gladiolas wrong but again people.....spell check is for pussies....Derek Chua, Billy Lake all the way from Shaw....love that young man's name......the Blackman sisters, fabu supporters of theatre large and samll...and yes ..you Kevin...the box office manager of the Canon.....my hair guru Bill .......Thom...of course....Bittergirl and director and my best friend....Mary Francis Moore.....oooohhhh it was a panic!

And then people.....as I switch to pink

I went to Mississauga to sing at the Mary Kay conference!

Wowie!!

The money that they spend of that evening is mind boggling!

The dresses....they are all at

Grown-up-lady-prom!

But I was wainting backstage to start the show with at huge American Idol song the "Mary Kay" fanfare started...and I walked out in a red sequin number from .....where else....Fashion Crimes....and the audience of 5000...no really.....freaked out!!!

It was quite a feeling......

Then after the show one of my favorite people from highschool snuck backstage to meet me....oh...what a day!

I love you Sue Fields.....Mullholand.......whatever your new name is!

And thanks to Madeline Paul who asked me to do it!

Today.....

gasp...

go into the studio to start the CD!

NO LIE!

Me and John Travolta!!!

Yup....

That is me right beside Nicki and J.T....

as Georgie likes to call him...

Got a whole bunch of emails and facebooks about where this picture was.....

I stole it from Roger Ebert's site.....

wowie....

Paul Butler from Montreal told me it was on the front page of the Gazette!!

Woopie dooo!!!

And to top it all off my Mom went with my sister yesterday to see it and I couldn't even understand her when she called me cause she was so excited....

The funny part? I don't utter a single word in the movie!

I am a speciality dancer....

at the age of 38.....

But!

Proud as shit!

Don't forget the show on Monday where we will chat about this some more!

SO You think you can wear a bad outfit

Mary Murphy....

for shame.....

you need a stylist ....

or an explosive device...

that outfit was....

in the immortal words of Thom Allison....

TURRBLE!!!!

Oh my ....who is dressing her...

Charo?

Other than that...

I effing love that show....

I love Neil and Pasha....

I love Sabra and Domenic...

I like Lacey...but her cockiness bugs me...

I cannot help it!

Also....what in the eff is Cameron gonna do when he ain't dancing with her anymore??

What?

WHAT!

I wonder what my dear friend Michelle is thinking right now?

Anyhow...

My show....

Three more....

I am working my ass of on this one......

This Monday the 23rd...be there or be square!!!!

Gladstone....I am singing two songs that are on the charts RIGHT NOW!!!

of course ...we have fucked them around.....oh my....

Mary Murphy.....

for shame....

I cannot let it go.

It is not easy to take a picture of yourself that does not include a double chin.....anyhow....in my melancholy for George .....and not only that but all.... and I do mean all of my friends are gone away.....Thom, Vicki, Patrick......just to mention a couple for gosh sakes......

I went down to the Quay to prove that I could live a life on my own and would indeed not die fat and alone.....which is where all of my imaginary bad stories end!

It was busy....all the 'mericans were in town.....vacationing.....littering.....ya know the regular stuff....so I put my boob in a sling and off I went.....I do love the water....I didn't not love the stinky footed man who sat down beside me and took off his espadilles....eff off!

Anyhows....

Last night I took my Mommy to see the Full Monty out at Stage West!

Spoiler alert:

They took their clothes off....

All of them.

Oh my.

My friend Mark was playing the lead this week.....for the last part for the run he was understudying Steve Patterson who went off to Saigon at Drayton......Miss Saigon @ Drayton.....that is just weird....anyhows.....Mark was awesome!

He sang like a rock star.....Matt Murray was ass to the wind for alot of the show......he....also awesome....and that Mark Allan....what a gorgeous voice and lovely spirit......I laughed....I cried ...and in the lady who played the piano person I saw my future...

she brassy and delivered every joke to the audience!

Then they got to the end....and they all started to take it off...I was sitting with Mark's wife Blythe and I turned to her and just started to laugh and scream like I was four....

the went down to G strings.....holy shit!

At Stage West....also worth mentioning....Two men sang to each other on that same stage as lovers......also a first....and the whitebread audience....mostly handled it well.

In the final reveal I had turned to my mom......

so ....

after all that...

I missed the weiners...

Ah well.

Facebook?

Look at the size of my skirt.....look at my hair....look at my ass.....ooh I was sooo teeny....and sometimes I ate.

Facebook continues to shock and humble me.

Just when I think that it is safe to feel ....I don't know...safe...someone sends me a picture of me showing my boobs at a first year college party...well...not really but you get the gist right?

I am totally twenty years old there....that is 18 years ago...a whole legal person ago....that is also Shannon Barnett behind me in the black and white outfits...just so I am not the only one to be mortified.....but I am proud...I worked my ass of that summer......

Canada's Wonderland....ah...I would like to thank Jeff Morden for those shots....I thought that the three of you might get a kick outta it.

Oh my....it just winds me....

I was the swing and the dance captain....it was one year before I was in Les Mis....the year I really discovered drinking....not to excess...okay maybe a little...I had super cool roomates and it was my first job after school.

They used to check our bags on the way outta the park to make sure we weren't stealing bathroom tissue....really...someone was fired for it....on my last day I put my character shoes in my bag and put two opened boxes of tampons across the top.....I mean who was gonna want the grotty shoes that I had sweated in for one million shows?

Anyway...the scary thing is Jason Knight has a video of the show.....he threatens me with it every once in a while....

History, BOYS!

Just am sitting in on Canada Day with my broken boob and have a few thoughts....

Will I ever be as rich as those naughty Princes?

Don't they just look naughty?

Especially Harry....he looks like he's tossed a few serving wenches in the barn....oh wait....it is 2007....some blondie mean-girls in the pub bathroom....that is better!

Nelly Furtado Pretty.

Rod Sterwart....lucky as a motherfucker.....loved watching his old ass....best thing in the concert!

Little disappointed that Ricky Gervais couldn't stall for a couple minutes....doesn't he know what a rousing version of a sing-a-long Footloose would do?

"History Boys".

Awesome.

With the Di concert, "History Boys" and yesterday watching "The Queen"...I am feeling a tad british...been poncing around the flat speaking in a dialect to Otto....whose breath smells like the Royal Winter Fair.

More of Dora

Oh yes...we did have fun....I wanted to show you more of the Doras...mostly I wanted you to see George in his new suit...he is so handsome......and Thom in his get up....

The second picture is of Beth Kates and myself...she designed our awesome lights for "Songs For a New World" and she was ROBBED!!!! She totally should have won!

The next picture is Mark, Thom, Me and Jeffrey Kuhn....nominee for his outstanding performance in "Story of my Life" at Canstage.....star studded night!!!!

Thom and I went to see Evan Almighty last night...we walked thru the pea soup heat to the Rainbow.....it was a bit stinky...I mean ....at least there were monkeys....but that Glimore Girl ....she not funny...we also saw it with captions for the hearing impaired which I thought would be fine but sometimes the joke was printed before Wanda Sykes ever said it....

Ah well.....

If you wanna read about my broken rib and prideday fiasco scroll to the next blog.....sees ya!

Look at me and my friend, Steve Gallagher....aren't we cute?

As for the top picture?

Let me start at the beginning.....

We are at the Doras, me and Steve,

... I had never been....George and I went with Thom Allison and our friend Mark Mcnamara....we looked awesome and were ready for some fun....

Even though I had a broken boob...

.....two days before I, in an effort to find a bit of peace in nature, went out for a ride on my bike.....I got caught in the effing streetcar tracks and fell....then ignored it for a whole day...then I went to pride to see Thom sing...because I have missed it almost 5 years running..... oh ya...and I went for a power walk that morning even thought I had a hurt boob....stood in the sun for an hour....no water....hurt boob....

passed out....

wish I as kidding....

anyhow...woke up to being held by someone very strong.....turned out to be a very strong lady....thanks out to her...she took over...got me some paramedics....then my favorite gay-gle of 5 men....their words not mine....god bless them...took me to ST. Mikes for......drum roll please....6 hours....not bad really...I felt horrible about them missing their parade...then tried to be their parade for them....

So, I had a catscan....and a xrays....they took my blood...no broken head....but a cracked rib...

I mean really!!!!

Those boys took such great care of me...though Scott Fink seemed less worried than the others and stopped on the way to ER for a McFlurry and then proceeded to eat it in the ghetto waiting room....beside me with a barf hat.

That is what I have on my head in the picture....a barf hat...they always come up with something new!

Oh ya...and Thom got peed on by some guy who's cathater flew out....I am not kidding...McFlurry man laughed so hard that he cried ice cream tears...

Then I took my broken boob home and George came back from Halifax for the Doras....he and Thom did not win but I think that we had the best time of anyone.....isn't that really winning?

Also....as a side bar....the award for best female in a musical was sponsered by Hagen Dazs...I mean, really.

Do you know that the only way that I can laugh is to hold my boob?

That is me laughing and holding my boob in the first picture...I look like shit....it is after a whole day in the ER but isn't the comedy worth it?

I would like to dedicate this blog to my fave fave Gay-gle....

who gave over their pride day to take care of me

Mark

Thom

Todd

Ejiro

Myflurry (Scott)

Funny

Hey y'all.....great show last Monday...if I do say so , my self-centered self! The night was just fun as hell...I almost broke a light and for sure shattered a glass on Janice's table....sooooo sorry Janice! She was a great sport about it!
Okay...George sent me this link to a thing on the youtube....We both love Triumph the Insult Comic Dog...he is usually on the Conan Show.....well this horrible little dog covered the Tony's....here is the link ...check it out and tell me what you thought!
The old ladies almost made me throw up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qY1j_bKg8o

WRONG!!!

How could I be soooo wrong?

Mia Micheals was at home wanting to kill that whole panel....especially screaming Mary..... cause they kicked off her favourite two dancers....I cannot believe that they kept that popper because he told them that he was gonna cry...I should do that at auditions....it actually worked!

I thought that they would want to keep more versatile dancers...I was flummoxxed....and I think Lacey....Patrick and I talked about this.....I like her...I think that she is good....and my problem is ....so does she....but don't we want people to have confidence?

So, why when we see others with confidence do we react with distaste....or is that just me?

I think she is great....and one more thing....Benji.....happily pulling off his pants....weird...is still straight?

Scroll down two blogs to hear about my show on Monday!~!!!! We will dance up!

It really is the last four shows so you wanna get out here....by the way Kyle....Gaytard.....hysterical....made me wish I had made it up.....you didn't say how your show went?

Kyle Go...LEE...emba....did you get my email?

So you think....

So ...you guys I have been busy as shit...really ...only able to watch PVR's of the View during dinner to sate my appetite for crappy TV....well, what the fuck happened to that show, huh? Barbra Walters became the show police and Elizabeth became a smug b***h.

....why do I spell it and not say...somehow it seems nicer...why do I want to be nice to her.....quite honestly ...she is not worth me losing any karma...

b***h.

Anyhow..will watch it until I cannot stand it anymore but that is who I am....

Most important....besides my show on Monday at the Gladstone.....scroll to next blog to read about it!...

So You Think You Can Dance began in earnest last night....I watched a couple of the routines more than once....I am not saying how many times.... like a gaylord....I loved it...I missed it....mean Mia Michels, who looks like it takes major deals with the devil to smile......Shane Sparks....love him ....and he love all the girls.....the Panel....screaming Mary.....screaming Nigel for that matter and Dan...I like him....do you think he is straight....please don't laugh...something has happen to my meter in the last few years......

I loved the ballet dancer and the latin dancer who did the swing routine....too early to learn their names.....and Benji's sister....like they weren't going to keep her......and whoever that guy was who caught her a million times.....awesome....I also like the ballroom guy and hip hop girl doing the waltz....I thought that they were beautiful....

tha ballroom dancing girl and the hip hop breakin guy are going tonight....that is my prediction.....too bad for her........

The Party

YUP!
Here we are again!
Sharron's Party
We now begin Sharron and Patricks last four engagements at the Gladstone......
You haven't seen the Party yet?
Well, it is time for you to make it down and see what everyone is talking about!
Monday June 18th @ the Fantastic Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West!
Doors @ 7:30pm and Show @ 8:00pm!
This week we have the fantastic Thom Allison
returning for the...are you ready for it....fourth time...What will he do????
Sharron and Patrick have been cooking up four very special shows to finish this fantastic experience off in style and....well... maybe not grace!
But with some dirty words and a bawdy 70's or 80's tune....
RIGHT!
Who knows what they will do next?

Idol

kay....my fave thing that has happened to me sinceI woke about 20 minutes ago?? I went to read my morning internet papers....because I am nothing if not current.....and I saw an ad for the American Idol live tour...presented by.....are you sitting....Pop Tarts....ahhh.....made me giggle on th inside cause I still am sleepy.

Summer?

Am I the only grown up that watched...alright...PVR'ed the MTV movie awards?

I like that Sarah Silverman....she a bit dirty....didn't look all that comfy on the screen....she looked like a bit of a linebacker waiting fo her cues...but god bless her....she told all of those horrible Paris Hilton jokes....with Paris right there......if you don't know what I am talkin' about Youtube it....funny....and then Will Ferrell and the fricken' Borat guy...do not like him.....kissed...it was dirty....though it made me laugh like a whore........I had to call George in Halifax to tell him ....hate to share a funny alone.....

One of my blog peeps emailed me.....

I am a bit excited.....

So...

If you go to

hairspraymovie.com....

and then go to photogallery.......

.....

look at the picture of Jerry Stiller ....

there I am in a pink wig right behind him!!!

That is a bit encouragin'...

This week Sharron's Party is movin on up to Perth again.....

The people of the small town will once again be slightly titilated by my very....very little...potty mouth...gotta pull in back again when I go outta town sometimes....but what a great place to work!

Thom is coming with and we have another guest, an old college friend,

Mike Dwyer and we will be doin' a real Sharron's Party....fun...

And tomorrow night I am workin' at the Glenn Gould Studio....

Fancy...

Do a benifit for Sistering.....

Called Funny Girls and Dynamic Divas....

Fun, eh?

Patrick is coming with...it will be all chicks but him....

No joke here....but just think about that...

See.....Patrick is in charge of my boobs!
GREAT show!
We had a packed house and I thought that Hotel California was the best!!! It was scary...oooohhhh!!!!
Fun was had by all!
Rick Miller...awesome...he killed....he had to come back up for and encore...he too funny!
And Brianna was lovely.....we were lucky to have her on the show.
Just spent 3 hours with a trainer for our 13.5 year old schnauzer....he is looking at me like the world is over.......he almost made it to the end with the bad behavior...but you can't have the bad barking in a condo....
We shall see......

Too Fricken long, eh?

Don't Jayne and I have funny faces?
I love this picture....oh dear....have you all stopped reading?
Have you?
Well.....I miss you guys....between sellin the house, movin, goin' to Halifax, starting the workshop at the Mirvishes....I am just wiped....I don't have a thing to say....well..I didn't.....now I am full of piss and vinegar....
The show is coming....
And so it is time again!!!
On Monday May 28th @ the Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West
Sharron's Party
on ON again!
It has been toooooo long!
So much has happened to Patrick and Sharron...you know how it goes....
And they have much to sing.. and tell you... and sing with you and.....Well, you get the "pic", right?
Ya know who is gonna be there?
Rick Miller!!!
You might know him from his international hit show
"Machomer" !!!
And do not forget
"Bigger Than Jesus"...
ooooh
what will he do?
What will he say...
And we will be announcing the summer line-up...which, I must say, is super exciting!
So, come on down....ya know...
doors @ 7:30pm and show at 8:00pm
and FUN
ALL the Damned time.
...only $15

And....besides that there is my happiness that summer is here....I have actually been auditioning for TV and Film...who knew....and whew....just writing that exhausted me....
I am doing a workshop of a musical version of
"Bittergirl"
between you and I am the other million people on the internet....
I think that it is gonna be good!!!!!
REal good!
Best script I have worked on in a new musical....it is very exciting....
I am working with he lovely Camilla Scott and the fantastic Karen LeBlanc and the still almost bald Adam Brazier....he does love that facebook!
Oh ya....
There is something new on the YOUtube....check it out!
Pooped!

Still out east

Okay...it hailed out here today....like end of the world hail.....isn't it May?

George says that the locals tell him this is the way the seasons go...

Summer....

Fall ....

Winter...

Fall....

Summer....

You get the picture?

NO SPRING!!!

George and I went with our Ulrich....and his friend Pete ....to Terrance Bay yesterday....nice little town....

in the cemetary that we visited....everyone had the same name........the whole town, mostly, still has the same name......hmm...

And they all say that they aren't related....

I pause and scratch my head.

I am having a great visit....wish that George was coming home with me...but we will percervere.....is that spelled right....wait....we know how I feel about spelling...

it is for pussies....

George's show is great.....Julie Martell is awesome....the whole cast is just lovely.......

I do love that show.

Anyhow....back to writing the May 28th show.

New Template better....

'Cause the old one sucked!!!

Man it is amazing what a good night of sleep can do.....I still feel a bit fragile from the move and all but I am gettin'my groove back on...not like Stella and her Groove....'cause that just turned out bad for Terry MacMillan.......if you don't know what I mean...trust me....it is funny...maybe not hahaha funny but titter funny at the least.....

I am soooooo happy to be with Georgie....he is dreamy....I came out of the plane..(where I sat beside "My Legs are too big for the plane" guy...he owes me at least $50 for sharing my space...ass).....and I was looking for George and I couldn't see him......and I was a bit sad.....then I heard our family whistle.....the one we use to find each other in Malls and other places with too many people....and there he was popping out from a pole and I ran at him like I was a teenager....I know I mentioned that yesterday but it bears mentioning again....then he brought me back to his apartment .....it is a building where all the university students live...I feel like I am a million years old....they look sooooo young and they like music that booms out the same bass line for a half and hour......I am old and crotchety..then last night I went to a bar with George and our friends Carla and her man David ( who helped with the nervous-breakdown-move) and Aviva....apps and wine.....me....drunk...after.....three sips.....and a bit belligerent....I have now made a small plan to be a bit drunk on and off here....is that wrong for a 38 year old woman???

....oh wait...I don't give a poopie......hahaahhaha!

out east

Here I am ....in Halifax.....so glad that I am finished with our house and getting into our new place...holy crap ....do you know about taking off wallpaper??? Holy poopie......this wallpaper was stuck to the wall with spunk or something and then they painted over it......After the show on the 16th... I got up all bright and early....7:00am people!!!! ....and went to my new place and wet down the wall, waited and ripped away a piece the size of a nickel and had a nervous breakdown.....I grossly over estimated the scope of my abilities and underestimated the amount of work that I had to do...called George in Halifax and cried like a baby....he called our friends Cory and David ...I called Patrick....and my mother to take care of sweet, sweet Otto............and we worked our asses off...we pulled a couple almost all nighters.....if we heard that fricken Girlfriend song by Avril one more time....I was gonna puke....Cory actually came up with a little dance.....and as a singin'...dancin''......contactor he is somethin'else.....Then blogger Kevin came to help with the move.....thank god......all his portugese strength came out in full force....the movers were Russian and kinda treated me like the little woman....we all know how much I love that.....so ......I am slowly unpacking......and having a full out street fight with freakin' Rogers phone.... oh dear lord.....they suck.....big balls.....smelly ones.....George and I ...mostly George ....has spent over 12 hours...I shit you not....on the phone with them..... I hate them....but finally a process that started in January has just finished......frick....I have celebrated with chips....alot of chips...that has gotta stop.......but I am here with my George....I love him....he makes me smile....when I saw him at the airport I ran at him like he was my highschool boyfriend.......and "Hey, Hey, You, You, You Don't Need a Girlfriend"..... see how I return to the comedy?

HAAA!

Bye Melissa S........BYE!

It was a happy moment in my Pussy Cat Dolls life because she was a particular bitch last night on the show....I actually had it set to tape on Wednesday but due to the fact that I found a new show last night...

I saw it....

And I couldn't have been more excited!

I am a total gaylord!

Loved it....I didn't think Chelsea sang good enough to stay.....

Ah well.

I hope Melissa R....

who will hence forth just be known as Melissa because that other bitch is gone....

I hope Melissa...

WINS~

And....

the Party was awesome...

we were packed and George Randolf came.

I haven't seen him since my high cut bodysuit, legwarmer, dance class days.

I loved his classes!

Who else.....Kyle came all the way from Barrie...sweet..

Stuart Dowling was there....love him..

Charlotte Moore....Susan Henley....who caled to say

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants".

I think THAT should be our new tagline!

....who else....

A whole bunch of new people and the favourite regulars......I loved it!!!

I sang....I danced..... I cried....I made fun of Patrick....who dressed up like a motherfucker....he looked AWESOME!

......He made fun of me......Kristina was excellent!....she rode her bike with all of her stuff on her back......

Jayne Lewis...class and style personifed....and a bitch of a singer to boot!

Oh....everyone had a great time...it seemed!

Off to peel wallpaper.

Boogie Nights...let's get down!

Do you like the new template!!!
I am unsure......but I am sure about Party ...tomorrow night!! Oh I am all tired of floggin'......But it will be a blast!
Jayne Lewis.....Kristina Uranowski........and little ole me and the Patrick!!
Fun...we'll be havin'..................
Gonna go write a game!

hurry ...hurry.....hurry

Okay.....busy as shit.....new place needs paint....old place needs to be cleaned out....

Have the big show on Monday....it has been alot of shows since I have been so gay about all of the material!!

But things need to be said!

Weather=Sucks

Tyra.....not being filmed from the waist down....hmm..what is with the whole fuckin' gypsy look?

I mean....if you are gaining weight the best way to cover it up is blouse and cinch???

NOT!

I know....I've been there done that.....and put on the too tight baby T!

And thank god Whitney is gone....oh excuse me....Whitelle...lame.....but luckily Tyra ...in her infinite wisdom....told her that she was a great actress....Look out world!

Oh...and I must have missed the season with the flesh eater and the crazy fainter...

Where the fuck was I....

Alright I have to think of a new story for the top of the second set.....

BUT WAIT!!!

That bitch Melissa S. better watch the fuck out!!!

Chelsea is gonna be a Pussy Cat Doll!

Maybe Melissa R......

They call it Pussy Cat Dolls....

not watered down, Bitchy, Cupie Dolls....

alright......gotta go!

Packin......and Practicing!

Oh.....I am sitting in a house full of boxes....oh.....it makes me feel a bit Sanford and Son.

Thom came over and we packed....thanks to the sweet gods for him....he did the kitchen.....He is good at it!

We laughed and planned to take over the world, like always...

Okay...

I am fricken done with this ass weather....I want fricken spring and I want it now!!!

NOW!

Other than that....just waiting for the Pussy Cat Dolls show tonight...I took Amazing Race off the PVR and ER....who knew.....I have watched ER since the beginning of time!

But...

Ohh..

It tried to be Greys Anatomy and failed somethin' awful!

And rehearsin the show for Monday!!!

Very excited!

Doing some great new stuff.....

So....here I am at the "Battle of the Belt"....which was at the Diesel Playhouse....so the show started at 10:15pm.....Patrick and I are too old for that!

We have to be getting our beauty sleep!!!

Anyhow...there was alot of Belting.....it really took me back to school!

Which was abut 18 years ago.....holy shit.

Anyhow....young Kelly Wong took this pic of me...so I thought why not share????

Lots of Dots.......

I felt a million years old...

Three of my songs got sung....

I guess that I have to find new material....

There is something to be said for youth and being invincable...

And excited....

I enjoyed them all ...but....

I quite loved Kristina Uranowski and Nancy Silverman....oh ya.. ...And Ari Weinberg......One of a kind....sang "Blow, Gabriel, Blow"...complete with choreo......and a spangliy shirt from Body-Body...he said he got 2 for 1.....that made me laugh.....

OH man!!!

I effin' love those whorish Pussy Cat Dolls...oh man you guys I cannot get enough!!! It is scary..... bypassed every other show on the PVR... there is alot....I am very busy my peeps...so I have alot to watch...but I was eatin' my chicken breast....cause I am trying to remain in my bodies good graces with George gone I am cookin for myself...scary.....and watchin' those chicks sing Toni Braxtons' "Unbreak My Heart"...while undulating ...ON A POLE !!!
Does it get any better!!!!
Does it??
I am going right now to pick between ANTM and Lost and Friday Night Lights!!!
Loser!

What a bad blogger...

So......here I am at the Rocky midnight show.....my hair just would not work....I swear to the sweet baby Jeepers that I tried and tried and then I had to pull it the fuck up and go.....what a two hours....people were hard core there...I didn't even see the show.....I ws so tired at the end of the two hours that I put on my full length fun fur coat ( Surabaya!) and limped off home in my red high heels and fishnets....I looked like the last prostitute on her way home..

...I have been a bad blogger.......it has been busy....I hope that they three of you are still reading!!!!

Did you guys see on my Facebook that Paul Bulter has issued a challenge??? He is seen in a picture wearing his Sharron's Bitch T-shirt at one of my fave places....Marie's Crisis Cafe in New York City......where can you be seen in yours? I think it is a fab idea.... I am gonna bring it up at the show!! Which is two weeks away....I am already planning!!

Alright.....I am doing a benefit called "Battle Of the Belt " on the 6th....it looks interesting....you can find out about it on Facebook!

Facebook......fancy and easy to use.....

America's Next Top Model.....AWESOME!!!! That Renee??? CRAZY!!!! And Jael.......crazier.....and Jasmine.....talks like she is deaf.....am I wrong?

Stopped watching American Idol when the young kid wore a mohawk and Lakisha stole my fricken' closin song.....I told you I didn't trust her

Weather nice...

So, I am hosting the party...tee hee hee..the Party tonight for the midnight showing of Rocky Horror at Canstage...

What will that be like?

I wonder...

I have an excellent F%$k off outfit that I got from Pam Chorley's Fashion Crimes today!

I love it ...

Who will be there....

Will Tyra be there?

Those girls on this cycle of ANTM and totally

effed.

That girl Jael is like two steps from rehab and that Renee???

I wonder if they watch it later and think " Wow, I looked effed and oh that is why I didn't win."

And she (Crazy Tyra) is just keepin' that Diana girl in cause she is big......

You can be big and have style....she looks like she just rolled out of bed, for shit sakes.

And Idol...

Well....I tape it and then watch two seconds of each performer and then fast forward to the comments..

Ahh.....

Sanjaya...

hahahhahahahahah!

I love it!

And the girl they just voted off...I agree with ....her voice was a little too halting for me.

But Pussycat Dolls....

LOVE IT!!!

So trashy and skanky.....

The Mikey guy who helps choreo...

he said "The dolls are classy not trashy"

And two seconds later they had all the contestants dancing in a go go room with a two way window!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I

Love

it!

What the $%^&??????

So, my G-man is gone away on the big birdy to the eastern seaboard....wasn't that alot in one sentence?

And anyone who is taking that as a cue to break into my house and mess with me.....my dog will eat you alive...not to mention that I will fuck you up!

Ah, so filled with enui....probably spelled wrong but I am sad ...so if you are judging my spelling at a time like this.....

bite it.....

ooooh a bit bi-polar......

I am so filled with the melancoly that I ate a full bag of wavy lays with a goodly portion of "Helluva Good Dip"...cause is there anything better......and now I have birthday party stomach....

Better than that...whenever Georgie goes away Otto...my dog....gets really weird.....

This time he paced around the bed from 3:00am to 4:00am this morning.

At the 3:00am side I was sad for him and understanding.

At the 4:00am side I was screaming out how I would come over there and give him something to cry about.

( If you are from PETA..that was only used for comic purposes)

Then I wake and start this new day....go into the office to stretch and check the email.....oh look...

right in the corner of the white carpet.

A protest poo.

That is what we like to call them.

They are just there to remind you that Otto is pissed....

or pooed.

What a way to start the morning.

Otto had already made a break for it downstairs.

Ho hum.

The day before George left he went for a haircut and I went with him....with the phantom shitter dog....

and the hairdresser thought he was so cute....

that she cut his eyebrows so he could see better.

That Otto leads qite the life, huh?