Facebook?

Look at the size of my skirt.....look at my hair....look at my ass.....ooh I was sooo teeny....and sometimes I ate.

Facebook continues to shock and humble me.

Just when I think that it is safe to feel ....I don't know...safe...someone sends me a picture of me showing my boobs at a first year college party...well...not really but you get the gist right?

I am totally twenty years old there....that is 18 years ago...a whole legal person ago....that is also Shannon Barnett behind me in the black and white outfits...just so I am not the only one to be mortified.....but I am proud...I worked my ass of that summer......

Canada's Wonderland....ah...I would like to thank Jeff Morden for those shots....I thought that the three of you might get a kick outta it.

Oh my....it just winds me....

I was the swing and the dance captain....it was one year before I was in Les Mis....the year I really discovered drinking....not to excess...okay maybe a little...I had super cool roomates and it was my first job after school.

They used to check our bags on the way outta the park to make sure we weren't stealing bathroom tissue....really...someone was fired for it....on my last day I put my character shoes in my bag and put two opened boxes of tampons across the top.....I mean who was gonna want the grotty shoes that I had sweated in for one million shows?

Anyway...the scary thing is Jason Knight has a video of the show.....he threatens me with it every once in a while....

History, BOYS!

Just am sitting in on Canada Day with my broken boob and have a few thoughts....

Will I ever be as rich as those naughty Princes?

Don't they just look naughty?

Especially Harry....he looks like he's tossed a few serving wenches in the barn....oh wait....it is 2007....some blondie mean-girls in the pub bathroom....that is better!

Nelly Furtado Pretty.

Rod Sterwart....lucky as a motherfucker.....loved watching his old ass....best thing in the concert!

Little disappointed that Ricky Gervais couldn't stall for a couple minutes....doesn't he know what a rousing version of a sing-a-long Footloose would do?

"History Boys".

Awesome.

With the Di concert, "History Boys" and yesterday watching "The Queen"...I am feeling a tad british...been poncing around the flat speaking in a dialect to Otto....whose breath smells like the Royal Winter Fair.

More of Dora

Oh yes...we did have fun....I wanted to show you more of the Doras...mostly I wanted you to see George in his new suit...he is so handsome......and Thom in his get up....

The second picture is of Beth Kates and myself...she designed our awesome lights for "Songs For a New World" and she was ROBBED!!!! She totally should have won!

The next picture is Mark, Thom, Me and Jeffrey Kuhn....nominee for his outstanding performance in "Story of my Life" at Canstage.....star studded night!!!!

Thom and I went to see Evan Almighty last night...we walked thru the pea soup heat to the Rainbow.....it was a bit stinky...I mean ....at least there were monkeys....but that Glimore Girl ....she not funny...we also saw it with captions for the hearing impaired which I thought would be fine but sometimes the joke was printed before Wanda Sykes ever said it....

Ah well.....

If you wanna read about my broken rib and prideday fiasco scroll to the next blog.....sees ya!

Look at me and my friend, Steve Gallagher....aren't we cute?

As for the top picture?

Let me start at the beginning.....

We are at the Doras, me and Steve,

... I had never been....George and I went with Thom Allison and our friend Mark Mcnamara....we looked awesome and were ready for some fun....

Even though I had a broken boob...

.....two days before I, in an effort to find a bit of peace in nature, went out for a ride on my bike.....I got caught in the effing streetcar tracks and fell....then ignored it for a whole day...then I went to pride to see Thom sing...because I have missed it almost 5 years running..... oh ya...and I went for a power walk that morning even thought I had a hurt boob....stood in the sun for an hour....no water....hurt boob....

passed out....

wish I as kidding....

anyhow...woke up to being held by someone very strong.....turned out to be a very strong lady....thanks out to her...she took over...got me some paramedics....then my favorite gay-gle of 5 men....their words not mine....god bless them...took me to ST. Mikes for......drum roll please....6 hours....not bad really...I felt horrible about them missing their parade...then tried to be their parade for them....

So, I had a catscan....and a xrays....they took my blood...no broken head....but a cracked rib...

I mean really!!!!

Those boys took such great care of me...though Scott Fink seemed less worried than the others and stopped on the way to ER for a McFlurry and then proceeded to eat it in the ghetto waiting room....beside me with a barf hat.

That is what I have on my head in the picture....a barf hat...they always come up with something new!

Oh ya...and Thom got peed on by some guy who's cathater flew out....I am not kidding...McFlurry man laughed so hard that he cried ice cream tears...

Then I took my broken boob home and George came back from Halifax for the Doras....he and Thom did not win but I think that we had the best time of anyone.....isn't that really winning?

Also....as a side bar....the award for best female in a musical was sponsered by Hagen Dazs...I mean, really.

Do you know that the only way that I can laugh is to hold my boob?

That is me laughing and holding my boob in the first picture...I look like shit....it is after a whole day in the ER but isn't the comedy worth it?

I would like to dedicate this blog to my fave fave Gay-gle....

who gave over their pride day to take care of me

Mark

Thom

Todd

Ejiro

Myflurry (Scott)

Funny

Hey y'all.....great show last Monday...if I do say so , my self-centered self! The night was just fun as hell...I almost broke a light and for sure shattered a glass on Janice's table....sooooo sorry Janice! She was a great sport about it!
Okay...George sent me this link to a thing on the youtube....We both love Triumph the Insult Comic Dog...he is usually on the Conan Show.....well this horrible little dog covered the Tony's....here is the link ...check it out and tell me what you thought!
The old ladies almost made me throw up!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6qY1j_bKg8o

WRONG!!!

How could I be soooo wrong?

Mia Micheals was at home wanting to kill that whole panel....especially screaming Mary..... cause they kicked off her favourite two dancers....I cannot believe that they kept that popper because he told them that he was gonna cry...I should do that at auditions....it actually worked!

I thought that they would want to keep more versatile dancers...I was flummoxxed....and I think Lacey....Patrick and I talked about this.....I like her...I think that she is good....and my problem is ....so does she....but don't we want people to have confidence?

So, why when we see others with confidence do we react with distaste....or is that just me?

I think she is great....and one more thing....Benji.....happily pulling off his pants....weird...is still straight?

Scroll down two blogs to hear about my show on Monday!~!!!! We will dance up!

It really is the last four shows so you wanna get out here....by the way Kyle....Gaytard.....hysterical....made me wish I had made it up.....you didn't say how your show went?

Kyle Go...LEE...emba....did you get my email?

So you think....

So ...you guys I have been busy as shit...really ...only able to watch PVR's of the View during dinner to sate my appetite for crappy TV....well, what the fuck happened to that show, huh? Barbra Walters became the show police and Elizabeth became a smug b***h.

....why do I spell it and not say...somehow it seems nicer...why do I want to be nice to her.....quite honestly ...she is not worth me losing any karma...

b***h.

Anyhow..will watch it until I cannot stand it anymore but that is who I am....

Most important....besides my show on Monday at the Gladstone.....scroll to next blog to read about it!...

So You Think You Can Dance began in earnest last night....I watched a couple of the routines more than once....I am not saying how many times.... like a gaylord....I loved it...I missed it....mean Mia Michels, who looks like it takes major deals with the devil to smile......Shane Sparks....love him ....and he love all the girls.....the Panel....screaming Mary.....screaming Nigel for that matter and Dan...I like him....do you think he is straight....please don't laugh...something has happen to my meter in the last few years......

I loved the ballet dancer and the latin dancer who did the swing routine....too early to learn their names.....and Benji's sister....like they weren't going to keep her......and whoever that guy was who caught her a million times.....awesome....I also like the ballroom guy and hip hop girl doing the waltz....I thought that they were beautiful....

tha ballroom dancing girl and the hip hop breakin guy are going tonight....that is my prediction.....too bad for her........

The Party

YUP!
Here we are again!
Sharron's Party
We now begin Sharron and Patricks last four engagements at the Gladstone......
You haven't seen the Party yet?
Well, it is time for you to make it down and see what everyone is talking about!
Monday June 18th @ the Fantastic Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West!
Doors @ 7:30pm and Show @ 8:00pm!
This week we have the fantastic Thom Allison
returning for the...are you ready for it....fourth time...What will he do????
Sharron and Patrick have been cooking up four very special shows to finish this fantastic experience off in style and....well... maybe not grace!
But with some dirty words and a bawdy 70's or 80's tune....
RIGHT!
Who knows what they will do next?

Idol

kay....my fave thing that has happened to me sinceI woke about 20 minutes ago?? I went to read my morning internet papers....because I am nothing if not current.....and I saw an ad for the American Idol live tour...presented by.....are you sitting....Pop Tarts....ahhh.....made me giggle on th inside cause I still am sleepy.

Summer?

Am I the only grown up that watched...alright...PVR'ed the MTV movie awards?

I like that Sarah Silverman....she a bit dirty....didn't look all that comfy on the screen....she looked like a bit of a linebacker waiting fo her cues...but god bless her....she told all of those horrible Paris Hilton jokes....with Paris right there......if you don't know what I am talkin' about Youtube it....funny....and then Will Ferrell and the fricken' Borat guy...do not like him.....kissed...it was dirty....though it made me laugh like a whore........I had to call George in Halifax to tell him ....hate to share a funny alone.....

One of my blog peeps emailed me.....

I am a bit excited.....

So...

If you go to

hairspraymovie.com....

and then go to photogallery.......

.....

look at the picture of Jerry Stiller ....

there I am in a pink wig right behind him!!!

That is a bit encouragin'...

This week Sharron's Party is movin on up to Perth again.....

The people of the small town will once again be slightly titilated by my very....very little...potty mouth...gotta pull in back again when I go outta town sometimes....but what a great place to work!

Thom is coming with and we have another guest, an old college friend,

Mike Dwyer and we will be doin' a real Sharron's Party....fun...

And tomorrow night I am workin' at the Glenn Gould Studio....

Fancy...

Do a benifit for Sistering.....

Called Funny Girls and Dynamic Divas....

Fun, eh?

Patrick is coming with...it will be all chicks but him....

No joke here....but just think about that...

See.....Patrick is in charge of my boobs!
GREAT show!
We had a packed house and I thought that Hotel California was the best!!! It was scary...oooohhhh!!!!
Fun was had by all!
Rick Miller...awesome...he killed....he had to come back up for and encore...he too funny!
And Brianna was lovely.....we were lucky to have her on the show.
Just spent 3 hours with a trainer for our 13.5 year old schnauzer....he is looking at me like the world is over.......he almost made it to the end with the bad behavior...but you can't have the bad barking in a condo....
We shall see......

Too Fricken long, eh?

Don't Jayne and I have funny faces?
I love this picture....oh dear....have you all stopped reading?
Have you?
Well.....I miss you guys....between sellin the house, movin, goin' to Halifax, starting the workshop at the Mirvishes....I am just wiped....I don't have a thing to say....well..I didn't.....now I am full of piss and vinegar....
The show is coming....
And so it is time again!!!
On Monday May 28th @ the Gladstone Ballroom
1214 Queen West
Sharron's Party
on ON again!
It has been toooooo long!
So much has happened to Patrick and Sharron...you know how it goes....
And they have much to sing.. and tell you... and sing with you and.....Well, you get the "pic", right?
Ya know who is gonna be there?
Rick Miller!!!
You might know him from his international hit show
"Machomer" !!!
And do not forget
"Bigger Than Jesus"...
ooooh
what will he do?
What will he say...
And we will be announcing the summer line-up...which, I must say, is super exciting!
So, come on down....ya know...
doors @ 7:30pm and show at 8:00pm
and FUN
ALL the Damned time.
...only $15

And....besides that there is my happiness that summer is here....I have actually been auditioning for TV and Film...who knew....and whew....just writing that exhausted me....
I am doing a workshop of a musical version of
"Bittergirl"
between you and I am the other million people on the internet....
I think that it is gonna be good!!!!!
REal good!
Best script I have worked on in a new musical....it is very exciting....
I am working with he lovely Camilla Scott and the fantastic Karen LeBlanc and the still almost bald Adam Brazier....he does love that facebook!
Oh ya....
There is something new on the YOUtube....check it out!
Pooped!

Still out east

Okay...it hailed out here today....like end of the world hail.....isn't it May?

George says that the locals tell him this is the way the seasons go...

Summer....

Fall ....

Winter...

Fall....

Summer....

You get the picture?

NO SPRING!!!

George and I went with our Ulrich....and his friend Pete ....to Terrance Bay yesterday....nice little town....

in the cemetary that we visited....everyone had the same name........the whole town, mostly, still has the same name......hmm...

And they all say that they aren't related....

I pause and scratch my head.

I am having a great visit....wish that George was coming home with me...but we will percervere.....is that spelled right....wait....we know how I feel about spelling...

it is for pussies....

George's show is great.....Julie Martell is awesome....the whole cast is just lovely.......

I do love that show.

Anyhow....back to writing the May 28th show.

New Template better....

'Cause the old one sucked!!!

Man it is amazing what a good night of sleep can do.....I still feel a bit fragile from the move and all but I am gettin'my groove back on...not like Stella and her Groove....'cause that just turned out bad for Terry MacMillan.......if you don't know what I mean...trust me....it is funny...maybe not hahaha funny but titter funny at the least.....

I am soooooo happy to be with Georgie....he is dreamy....I came out of the plane..(where I sat beside "My Legs are too big for the plane" guy...he owes me at least $50 for sharing my space...ass).....and I was looking for George and I couldn't see him......and I was a bit sad.....then I heard our family whistle.....the one we use to find each other in Malls and other places with too many people....and there he was popping out from a pole and I ran at him like I was a teenager....I know I mentioned that yesterday but it bears mentioning again....then he brought me back to his apartment .....it is a building where all the university students live...I feel like I am a million years old....they look sooooo young and they like music that booms out the same bass line for a half and hour......I am old and crotchety..then last night I went to a bar with George and our friends Carla and her man David ( who helped with the nervous-breakdown-move) and Aviva....apps and wine.....me....drunk...after.....three sips.....and a bit belligerent....I have now made a small plan to be a bit drunk on and off here....is that wrong for a 38 year old woman???

....oh wait...I don't give a poopie......hahaahhaha!

out east

Here I am ....in Halifax.....so glad that I am finished with our house and getting into our new place...holy crap ....do you know about taking off wallpaper??? Holy poopie......this wallpaper was stuck to the wall with spunk or something and then they painted over it......After the show on the 16th... I got up all bright and early....7:00am people!!!! ....and went to my new place and wet down the wall, waited and ripped away a piece the size of a nickel and had a nervous breakdown.....I grossly over estimated the scope of my abilities and underestimated the amount of work that I had to do...called George in Halifax and cried like a baby....he called our friends Cory and David ...I called Patrick....and my mother to take care of sweet, sweet Otto............and we worked our asses off...we pulled a couple almost all nighters.....if we heard that fricken Girlfriend song by Avril one more time....I was gonna puke....Cory actually came up with a little dance.....and as a singin'...dancin''......contactor he is somethin'else.....Then blogger Kevin came to help with the move.....thank god......all his portugese strength came out in full force....the movers were Russian and kinda treated me like the little woman....we all know how much I love that.....so ......I am slowly unpacking......and having a full out street fight with freakin' Rogers phone.... oh dear lord.....they suck.....big balls.....smelly ones.....George and I ...mostly George ....has spent over 12 hours...I shit you not....on the phone with them..... I hate them....but finally a process that started in January has just finished......frick....I have celebrated with chips....alot of chips...that has gotta stop.......but I am here with my George....I love him....he makes me smile....when I saw him at the airport I ran at him like he was my highschool boyfriend.......and "Hey, Hey, You, You, You Don't Need a Girlfriend"..... see how I return to the comedy?

HAAA!

Bye Melissa S........BYE!

It was a happy moment in my Pussy Cat Dolls life because she was a particular bitch last night on the show....I actually had it set to tape on Wednesday but due to the fact that I found a new show last night...

I saw it....

And I couldn't have been more excited!

I am a total gaylord!

Loved it....I didn't think Chelsea sang good enough to stay.....

Ah well.

I hope Melissa R....

who will hence forth just be known as Melissa because that other bitch is gone....

I hope Melissa...

WINS~

And....

the Party was awesome...

we were packed and George Randolf came.

I haven't seen him since my high cut bodysuit, legwarmer, dance class days.

I loved his classes!

Who else.....Kyle came all the way from Barrie...sweet..

Stuart Dowling was there....love him..

Charlotte Moore....Susan Henley....who caled to say

"I laughed, I cried, I peed my pants".

I think THAT should be our new tagline!

....who else....

A whole bunch of new people and the favourite regulars......I loved it!!!

I sang....I danced..... I cried....I made fun of Patrick....who dressed up like a motherfucker....he looked AWESOME!

......He made fun of me......Kristina was excellent!....she rode her bike with all of her stuff on her back......

Jayne Lewis...class and style personifed....and a bitch of a singer to boot!

Oh....everyone had a great time...it seemed!

Off to peel wallpaper.

Boogie Nights...let's get down!

Do you like the new template!!!
I am unsure......but I am sure about Party ...tomorrow night!! Oh I am all tired of floggin'......But it will be a blast!
Jayne Lewis.....Kristina Uranowski........and little ole me and the Patrick!!
Fun...we'll be havin'..................
Gonna go write a game!

hurry ...hurry.....hurry

Okay.....busy as shit.....new place needs paint....old place needs to be cleaned out....

Have the big show on Monday....it has been alot of shows since I have been so gay about all of the material!!

But things need to be said!

Weather=Sucks

Tyra.....not being filmed from the waist down....hmm..what is with the whole fuckin' gypsy look?

I mean....if you are gaining weight the best way to cover it up is blouse and cinch???

NOT!

I know....I've been there done that.....and put on the too tight baby T!

And thank god Whitney is gone....oh excuse me....Whitelle...lame.....but luckily Tyra ...in her infinite wisdom....told her that she was a great actress....Look out world!

Oh...and I must have missed the season with the flesh eater and the crazy fainter...

Where the fuck was I....

Alright I have to think of a new story for the top of the second set.....

BUT WAIT!!!

That bitch Melissa S. better watch the fuck out!!!

Chelsea is gonna be a Pussy Cat Doll!

Maybe Melissa R......

They call it Pussy Cat Dolls....

not watered down, Bitchy, Cupie Dolls....

alright......gotta go!

Packin......and Practicing!

Oh.....I am sitting in a house full of boxes....oh.....it makes me feel a bit Sanford and Son.

Thom came over and we packed....thanks to the sweet gods for him....he did the kitchen.....He is good at it!

We laughed and planned to take over the world, like always...

Okay...

I am fricken done with this ass weather....I want fricken spring and I want it now!!!

NOW!

Other than that....just waiting for the Pussy Cat Dolls show tonight...I took Amazing Race off the PVR and ER....who knew.....I have watched ER since the beginning of time!

But...

Ohh..

It tried to be Greys Anatomy and failed somethin' awful!

And rehearsin the show for Monday!!!

Very excited!

Doing some great new stuff.....

So....here I am at the "Battle of the Belt"....which was at the Diesel Playhouse....so the show started at 10:15pm.....Patrick and I are too old for that!

We have to be getting our beauty sleep!!!

Anyhow...there was alot of Belting.....it really took me back to school!

Which was abut 18 years ago.....holy shit.

Anyhow....young Kelly Wong took this pic of me...so I thought why not share????

Lots of Dots.......

I felt a million years old...

Three of my songs got sung....

I guess that I have to find new material....

There is something to be said for youth and being invincable...

And excited....

I enjoyed them all ...but....

I quite loved Kristina Uranowski and Nancy Silverman....oh ya.. ...And Ari Weinberg......One of a kind....sang "Blow, Gabriel, Blow"...complete with choreo......and a spangliy shirt from Body-Body...he said he got 2 for 1.....that made me laugh.....

OH man!!!

I effin' love those whorish Pussy Cat Dolls...oh man you guys I cannot get enough!!! It is scary..... bypassed every other show on the PVR... there is alot....I am very busy my peeps...so I have alot to watch...but I was eatin' my chicken breast....cause I am trying to remain in my bodies good graces with George gone I am cookin for myself...scary.....and watchin' those chicks sing Toni Braxtons' "Unbreak My Heart"...while undulating ...ON A POLE !!!
Does it get any better!!!!
Does it??
I am going right now to pick between ANTM and Lost and Friday Night Lights!!!
Loser!

What a bad blogger...

So......here I am at the Rocky midnight show.....my hair just would not work....I swear to the sweet baby Jeepers that I tried and tried and then I had to pull it the fuck up and go.....what a two hours....people were hard core there...I didn't even see the show.....I ws so tired at the end of the two hours that I put on my full length fun fur coat ( Surabaya!) and limped off home in my red high heels and fishnets....I looked like the last prostitute on her way home..

...I have been a bad blogger.......it has been busy....I hope that they three of you are still reading!!!!

Did you guys see on my Facebook that Paul Bulter has issued a challenge??? He is seen in a picture wearing his Sharron's Bitch T-shirt at one of my fave places....Marie's Crisis Cafe in New York City......where can you be seen in yours? I think it is a fab idea.... I am gonna bring it up at the show!! Which is two weeks away....I am already planning!!

Alright.....I am doing a benefit called "Battle Of the Belt " on the 6th....it looks interesting....you can find out about it on Facebook!

Facebook......fancy and easy to use.....

America's Next Top Model.....AWESOME!!!! That Renee??? CRAZY!!!! And Jael.......crazier.....and Jasmine.....talks like she is deaf.....am I wrong?

Stopped watching American Idol when the young kid wore a mohawk and Lakisha stole my fricken' closin song.....I told you I didn't trust her

Weather nice...

So, I am hosting the party...tee hee hee..the Party tonight for the midnight showing of Rocky Horror at Canstage...

What will that be like?

I wonder...

I have an excellent F%$k off outfit that I got from Pam Chorley's Fashion Crimes today!

I love it ...

Who will be there....

Will Tyra be there?

Those girls on this cycle of ANTM and totally

effed.

That girl Jael is like two steps from rehab and that Renee???

I wonder if they watch it later and think " Wow, I looked effed and oh that is why I didn't win."

And she (Crazy Tyra) is just keepin' that Diana girl in cause she is big......

You can be big and have style....she looks like she just rolled out of bed, for shit sakes.

And Idol...

Well....I tape it and then watch two seconds of each performer and then fast forward to the comments..

Ahh.....

Sanjaya...

hahahhahahahahah!

I love it!

And the girl they just voted off...I agree with ....her voice was a little too halting for me.

But Pussycat Dolls....

LOVE IT!!!

So trashy and skanky.....

The Mikey guy who helps choreo...

he said "The dolls are classy not trashy"

And two seconds later they had all the contestants dancing in a go go room with a two way window!!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I

Love

it!

What the $%^&??????

So, my G-man is gone away on the big birdy to the eastern seaboard....wasn't that alot in one sentence?

And anyone who is taking that as a cue to break into my house and mess with me.....my dog will eat you alive...not to mention that I will fuck you up!

Ah, so filled with enui....probably spelled wrong but I am sad ...so if you are judging my spelling at a time like this.....

bite it.....

ooooh a bit bi-polar......

I am so filled with the melancoly that I ate a full bag of wavy lays with a goodly portion of "Helluva Good Dip"...cause is there anything better......and now I have birthday party stomach....

Better than that...whenever Georgie goes away Otto...my dog....gets really weird.....

This time he paced around the bed from 3:00am to 4:00am this morning.

At the 3:00am side I was sad for him and understanding.

At the 4:00am side I was screaming out how I would come over there and give him something to cry about.

( If you are from PETA..that was only used for comic purposes)

Then I wake and start this new day....go into the office to stretch and check the email.....oh look...

right in the corner of the white carpet.

A protest poo.

That is what we like to call them.

They are just there to remind you that Otto is pissed....

or pooed.

What a way to start the morning.

Otto had already made a break for it downstairs.

Ho hum.

The day before George left he went for a haircut and I went with him....with the phantom shitter dog....

and the hairdresser thought he was so cute....

that she cut his eyebrows so he could see better.

That Otto leads qite the life, huh?

Well...

What a show!!!!

What a night!!!!!

The people...Jayne Lewis and Victor Young...I think of them as one of the royal couples of musical theatre....director and writer Mary Francis Moore was back.... playwright Alison Lawrence....promoter Shtephen Shin......artistic director Mitchell Marcus....director Tim French.....wow....you just never know who you are gonna see..really!

I had such a great time and loved my dresses and I had straight hair and everyon told me that I looked thin....I think that it was the hair.

We had a whole new design to the room....coolio!

And Zachary Florence just wowed everyone with his composing skills and wit.......

Mr. Lee MacDougall made a stir with his two segments ......one was a comedy bit and he second was a intertretation of one of his short stories......he had everyone spellbound!

I felt very lucky to have them.

So....onward and upwards.

I forgot to mention that youn Kyle Golemba....card bitch extraodinaire is have a cabaret in the Art Bar at the Gladstone!

THIRD TIME'S A CHARM.

Sunday, March 25 at 8pm

Gladstone Hotel Art Bar
Gladstone/Queen W
$10.
Featuring yours truly ( KYLE!).
Musically directed and accompanied by Adam White.
Special guests...Colleen Sheehan.
Kritty Uranowski.
Bryce Kulak.

A totally fun night of music in a new venue. Check it out!

I do so enjoy him......he is so.....Brad Pitt-y and a great storyteller......I am gonna tell that man my dates in advance.....because if we overlap all of my love will go south pretty fast.

Funny that.

Ya wanna hear my favourite comment from Monday night?

" You are like, Megan Mullaly....and Kristen Chenoweth....with a dash of Trailer Trash."

Hmm.... I took it as a compliment!

Don't Forget!

Do Not Forget Daylight Savings....

Or I will come over there and.........

Almost one more day till the show....

We have so much new stuff......I always feel like it is opening.

Goin' to Fashion Crime right now.

Woo Hoo

THE PARTY!!

It has been super busy and I miss you all!

I hope you are comin'.....where you ask?

WELL!

All filled with blah?
Oscars over.... and you don't know where to go for your dose of drama and fabulousness?
Don't Forget!
This Monday the 12th @ 8:00pm
(doors @ 7:30pm)
Sharron's Party
@ the Gladstone 1214 Queen Street West!
We welcome
Mr. Lee MacDougall
writer, actor and fabulous Party guest!
And Movin' On Up to the Party
Mr. Zachary Florence
composer and storyteller.
Oh ya.....
And ME!!!
And Patrick!!!!
Don't be blah!
Let us be ....what?
FABULOUS!
What will the sing along be..hmmm....I don't know ...but it might have been sung by the soon to be
ex
Mrs. Bobby Brown!

It's Back!!!!

Oh ya......America's Next Top Model.....oh my god.....I hate Tyra yet I have to watch this show....it is a joke that I have heard 100 times yet I still cannot wait for the crappy punch line.
The girls....they kicked out that great girl from the Bronx....who couldn't speak english!!! She was my fave....
Then there is crazy Renee...she about to crack and have a nervous breakdown.......
And all the regulars.... Miss Jay.....he is a man who refers to himself constantly as a woman....how did he get by without a blink of the eyes on crazy U.S. Tv???? No one says anything....he was lead onto set ths week by the marines!!!!
Don't ask...don't tell.....but for god sakes do not ask!
And other Jay......who walked out of a gay Ken and Barbie box....because he is the perfect mix of both...I kinda like him....as a friend....I am not an ass.
Then....Tyra....wooooooh...her head isn't gonna fit in a room soon...and she acts like Mother Theresa because she has 2, count em, 2 plus size models on the show.
"Oh thank you Tyra"
All because of that whole "America's Next Top Waddle " deal ....don't pander to us, please....just cause you wanna be current!!!!
Lord , I cannot stand her and there I am ....taping it on the PVR!
And Idol.
Well, I like about 5 of the girls...and the other girls on the show are watching those 5 girls and saying
" Damn...they are awesome...I guess I'll sing Celine Dion"
What? Yes, the best thing to do as a new singer is sing Celine or Whitney....ug.
And Paula...drunk and had her lips done.
Oh yes....they fill me with the passion.
I think Lakisha had balls tosing "I'm Tellin' You" but no the right ones...I think she was trying to prove what????
She is better that an Oscar nominee?
So what...make your own name, girl!

You tube, Oscars, Spring Awakening...

Been looking around computer land....did you know that Kyle Golemba....who was the first "Movin' On Up" guest....has put his performance on Youtube.....I looked at all three....that is one good performer and storyteller....and I just found out that I have been mispronouncing his name for the last year or so....he is so dear....never would have told me......too sweet, sorry Kyle!
Now, the Oscars....glad, first of all, that I saved them on my PVR...so I could fast forward through all of the boring parts....most of it.....wow...REALLY ......what a snore fest.......I almost cried when Eddie Murphy didn't win....I LOVE him....no one makes me laugh more....except for maybe Rick Mercer....who I will have on my show one day...I WILL anyhow........back to the show....Ellen seemed nervous...didn't she?? She got into it after a few minutes....but I wished she would have killed....I did love the number that Will Ferrell, Jack Black and John C. Reilly( written by Marc Shaiman)did....I wish they had the same kind of number with comedy woman who have the same kind of profile as them like..........well.....hmm.....I cannot think of any.....who?? Can you?
Oscars...short thoughts....
1. Why did all of he skinny blond women ( Nicole Kidman, Gwyenth Paltrow and others) have there hair laquered over their left shoulder?? Were they all trying to cover the hole for the liquid feeding bag that hides there?
2. Why did all of the dresses look almost exactly the same?
3. Why wouldn't Clint Eastwood just let Ellen do her camera bit? He just kept talking into her mic and asking stupid questions.........Hey Clark!!! (that is George's new name for him...I know not why...but it made me laugh) What's with the war fixation??? Your 140 minutes are up!
4.What about the Morricone speech....is that how you spell it.....I'd like to think I have more culture in my life but after the 10th minute of his speech in Italian...please see previous blog.....I just thought......Play the damned music already!!!
5. I don't like Will and Jada's kid......he just seems.... entitled.... he needs a good boot in the ass!
I feel that I am mean....a bit funny but maybe mean ......thinking.....which is more important......thinking more......have decided on.......funny.
OKAY!
Have you heard or seem any Spring Awakening?
Go to their website and there are some show spots on it......cannot wait to see it, am totally gay for it........love the music.......love the voices...........RUN!!!!

hmmmm

I am wondering a few things....
How the hell does "Babel" get touted, if I may try to use the word correctly, as a Brad Pitt film.....all he does is run around in his age makeup and hold a pee pee tin for Cate Blanchett...who I love in any movie, may it be said right here....but it is more about the naked Asian chick and the older Hispanic lady....both whom ( who?) are amazing ....oh ya and the masturbating kid from Moracco......it takes alot for me to watch these movies.....I hate this colour of purple.......hmmmmm...this is better, it reminds me of water and things that are summer-ie........Ya know what makes me watch these movies????
Oscar time....we are thinking of going to see Monkey Toast and then watching the Oscars at the Drake.....but I know I will probably end up in my jammies with Georgie in front of the fire....in our fireplace....we don't just go lightling random fires in our house....
We have "Half Nelson" with that Ryan Gosling in it downstairs....but I am gonna honest with you guys.....whoever you may be out there today........I would rather see a Drew Barrymore movie....or Will Ferrell....give me stupid funny anytime....shouldn't we have bigger awards for people who make us laugh...there is enough cryin' in the world....
And speaking of laugh and cry...I watched a PVR I had of Jim Carrey on the View....what the frick is wrong with him....it was super weird....he was acting the way he thought he should act....not that I really go for the over the top extrovert he usually is on shows....but dear lord....I had to turn it off....well, no I fast forwared it until I could see the cast from Spring Awakening......wow....I went to Itunes and bought the soundtrack....yes..total gaylord here.
We also watched 30 Rock again last night......totally love that show....Alec Baldwin is just bust-your-gut funny.......and well, Tina FEY ...hire me....remember me.......I can sing and all......HIRE ME!!!

Got an Apple....

You guys know what I did this morning?
I got up at 7:00pm....ya I know..me......and got into my fricken salt covered truck and drove to...Oakville.
Why you ponder?
I went and talked to some of the performers of tomorrow....at Sheridan College...I talked in a class called "Business Practice" and it sounded a bit like a class for hooking....I don't know why!
But!
They are teaching them about business at Sheridan...I wish that they had taught us that....I might have saved some of the cash that I made in the chorus working at the Limelight Dinner Theatre....remember that place?
Anyhow, I told them about myself....I guess I didn't know that I could talk for 45 minutes straight without a breath.....I think George knew.....and maybe Patrick.
It was fun.....they all look very young and I remember looking that eager.
We were a cutthroat bunch out there.
I was just returning emails and George is watching....what? ...Dirty Dancing .....and I could hear it out of the corner of my conciousness and ran all the way downstairs and almost fell down the stairs to do a whole blow by blow commentary of when Baby and Johnny do the dance that then turns into the horizontal hula....
Then I spoke along with the sister Lisa when she tells Daddy that she will sing......." I Feel Pretty...or What the Simple Folk Do....or I Feel Pretty"
Then....I was kicked out of the living room to the office again.

Why....why is it sooo @#$%-ing cold

I know it is Canada...I know that it is cold here....so don't be all smarty pants and remind me.....but after watching Al Gore's "An Inconvienient Truth" ( which is probably totally spelled wrong but me no care) I thought that it wouldn't be that cold anymore.
LIARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The "Sharron's Party" gang ...well some of us.....basically Patrick, I and our loving partners George and James, all got into the Explorer....yes, I know.....it is a environmental nightmare.....and went up to Perth.....do you know where that is?
No?
My friend Michael , with his partner David, bought a beautiful manor.....yes...it is a mansion and they run a boutique hotel in lovely Perth which is a short 3.5 hours away on the 402, to highway 36, then highway 7......they your are in a postcard called the "Perth Manor"
Anyhow, Michael and David bought the show....yup!
I was wondering how the people of Perth would enjoy the "Party".
Patrick and I cleaned up our potty mouths a bit...sometimes in the show I would chat with Patrick and before he would respond I could see the "smut editor" running itself through his head.....he did try to use "Auntie Mame" as a punchline to a joke....the crickets croaked and I laughed......it was interesting to see us navigate new territory. It is a challenge taking over the world one Party at a time.....but we are ready and willing, non?
We did a weird mix of our stuff.......the Dirty Dancing Songologue was right beside "Can't Help Lovin' That Man".....you guys would have liked that, I think.
I really wanted to do our latest, Add It Up/Blister in the Sun.....but Deev vetoed it......he is so bossy, sometimes.
The peeps really seemed to enjoy themselves.....it is funny to me as I go out to greet all the peeps before I start that they, no matter where I am, feel the need to say little dirty things to me....jokes an what not.....is it me, people?
Is it the way I dress?
Does the curly hair invite dirty words?
I do love it though!
The night was a big success, M and D took awesome care of us!
Funny sidebar, on the way home we were chatting in the Explorer about the next show...going over some song ideas...when we stopped in the Esso for some gas went in to get a CDC ( Caffeine-Free Diet Coke) and I was singing Nirvana's "Smells Like Teen Spirit" and caught the eye of......well ...for lack of a better word.... red neck younger dude....he struck a conversation.....then when we got to the car he followed to the car beside me and he sang the first verse of James Blunt's "You're Beautiful".....well, let me just say....that shit NEVER happens to me.....then I blushed and got into the car and couldn't wait to tell the guys how magnetic I am......and then George was convinced that since they drove behind us for about 60 km that they were gonna drive us off the road and kill the 3 of them and take me as their sex slave.
Weird jump, don't you think?
Anyhow....my buzz was ruined.

You are so not the one....

Show last night???!!!!
SOOOOOO much fun...I had a fun night....it is always nice when I can enjoy myself...I usually find myself a little preoccupied.
But what a great crowd for such a cold night...we had about 120 peeps.......some of my fave bloggers were out in force!!!!
I am always so happy to see you arrive.........
I just don't know what to say....a great night for me and my electrician, who was sittin in the front row, and told me today that he saw up my skirt numerous times....to which I said...was it good for you.....lucky boy!
Loved my outfits....first a cloud and then Lulu of "To Sir With Love" fame.
An above the knee skirt??? Yupp!!!!
Whoopie!!!
It was nice to change it up a bit and cutting a guest made it easier to focus on the other two...Kyle and Karen were dreamy.
Kyle sang like a bird, looked cute as a button and told stories like Schharazade....which I know is spelled wrong ...but you know how I feel about spelling....it is for pussies......so glad that we had him on the show.
And Karen, my dear friend.....I always love watching peoples faces when they hear her sing for the first time....she made me laugh as we sat together and chatted about our pasts....we are older now and all......she is really one of the most talented people I know.
And Patrick.....or as I like to think of him, Pat.....can you imagine....????? If I called him that???
Anyhow....he is just funny and he is my rock.....and my thorn....you know what I mean....he loves to dig me....he is my rocky thorn......with good hair and a snappy sweater. What would I do without him.......I woul have to sing with CD's and never have anyone to talk to.
Well, that would suck.
But here it really is folks....the reason I came to the blog....
I was just watching all of the shows I had taped over the last few days.......
Grease, You're The One That I Want?
Halfway thru....I lost the will to live and..... maybe breathe.
Oh my god....it was like a porno version of Tiny Talent Time. ( Just because if kids were dressed like that it would be slutty)
I couldn't even get it up to look at Webber....he had a weird face on him, boy. When they cut to him George said he always looks like a baby who is about to burp.
Then ...I laughed.....then he got mad that I told the corn story last night....not too mad.
It was turrible.
That is Thom's word.
Turrible.
It fits....I just don't care......
When "Talented" Sandy......that is what I like to call her now......Juliana...said that " I am very...talented" It was that end of the sentence that I didn't expect that made me spit my grape Crush.....after the show I like grape Crush.....across the room.
Oh my...they are thinkin' alot of themselves...granted the producers are asking them leading questions I am sure.....but ...my god...and then she said 4 times how much she didn't "love" her song...the one called "Don' Cry For Me Argentina" written by Andrew-Freakin'-Lloyd-Holy- Webber.....who is sitting right there....ass.
I am done with it...I shun it.......sad but true...I have other important things to watch and do, even.
Again, thanks to those who came out!!!
Tell everyone to come next time!!!
So, I have new stuff on the webpage....some Fun Facts....some new mp3's from October.....and a listing of the upcoming shows.....
In the next few weeks look for "Sharron's Chat With Pat"
a little mp3 talk show with the Deev and I.....isn't that fun???
And the Fashion Crimes web Fashion Show!!!
Exciting!.....

Tyra is Tryin'

OHHHHHH!

I don't know what it is.....ya know when someone just gets in your craw and stays there.....

I have seen enough of....

Fricken' Tyra Banks.....she is everywhere....talkin' about how humble she is, what a good girl she is....

One of my fave moments is during this whole unfortunate

"America's Next Top Waddle" story......

which I have to say she is handling quite well, she decided to not ignore it and face it head on, I applaud that .....

but just when I am warmin' to her......

she says on Larry King......

" Oh yes, I do deal with it ( weight issue) on my talk show...tomorrow on the show I am very vulnerable and I cry."

??????

Oh my god...does the hear herself ?!

When I watch her in interviews and on TV...

cause clearly though she bugs the shit oughta me I can't get enough, maybe I think that this will be the time she redeems herself.........

She acts like a Princess.

Doesn't she???

DOESN"T SHE?!

Maybe I need to go think about why this bothers me so much....what are my deep seeded issues?

I mean, she is a self made woman, she is a producer and a hard worker....maybe I just want her to be real?

Am I jealous of her success?

You wanna see something ....hmmm...I don't know what it is...odd...weird ....disconcerting......

go to

Youtube and after you watch one of my new clips ( yes...there is a new one!) go to

Tyra Banks Goes Wild...

wooooo chillin'....

That girl was on the edge and they caught it on video....

COLD!!!

Brrrrr.....you gotta be frickin' kiddin' me.....my dog won't even go outside.....and he has booties and pajamas on....don't ask why.

Yah, I need to live somewhere hot, people.

It is something that I fantasize about every year.....movin' somewhere hot...I wonder if Georgie and I will end up as early bird dinner eaters in Clearwater?

I kinda hope that we end up as late night hummus eaters in Greece.....maybe I just hope that we live to be a ripe old age and let the universe take care of the rest!

Sooooooo.....excited about the show!!!

We are doing some great new songs.....and a special song for our friend and event manager and other things that I can't

name-er .....

Grant.

Only 6 days.....woo hoo.

I have nothing to say because other than going to the gym, walking the dog, doing a voice over audition or working on the show....I am doing nothin' really.

Then I sit and ponder whether this is worth publishing.....

I go down and get a snack and think some more.....

what the hell.....

what else ya gonna do on a freezing cold day?

Wait....though I am boycotting American Idol.....I kinda wanna watch it........

RERUN?????

What the hell?
4 hours of "GREASE" and no new show????
Well, eff that...that is what I say.
That is alot of TV time.....I wonder if some people watched it all again. Not that I would think less of them but....wow.
So, I watched "Beauty and the Geek" last night, finally....they also had a three hour marathon of that...I guess everyone was trying to beat the Superbowl....George...who is away working....called and asked me if I'd seen any of the Superbowl and I paused and said....Do you remember who I am??
I worked my ass off yesterday on the Party!!!
Very excited!
All new stuff and ideas.....George and I thought up a sing-a-long in the car a couple days ago...we'll see.....I have to run it pass Patrick and you know him....he is very discerning.
Oh ya, BNTG, that Ce Ce.....I don't mean to use strong words....but I think that I hate her....putting all those braclets around that poor little dogs neck.....and just being genreally stupid and bitchy....okay....that realationship between Nate and Jennie Lee......totally two kids in highschool dancing around each other....just do the fricken' deed already....." I like you"..."NO, I like you" ..." Let's cuddle"...Just DO IT for fricks sake.
Anyway...busy happy day.....maybe we will not be on strike one day soon.
Oh ya....I am *&%$# in' cold.

When it gets busy

So, in the last two weeks I have got my house ready to sell, sold my house, got horrible food poisoning from certain sushi joint on the Danforth.....I won't say the name but it rhymes with "Mushi Belight".....bought a loft downtown.....stared to get my show ready.....oh .....you guys.....the busy-ness....but most important......we somehow knocked " Beauty and the Geek" off of the PVR!!!!
So, George manically looked around for another showing and....sigh.....it is on again tonight...Thank GOD!!!
Yes....it has been alot!
But I am just moving forward.
It is funny how all of a sudden life just gets busy as hell!
But glad for it!